Camille didn’t even crack a smile. Another bad sign. Should Ty break the silence or let it linger? Maybe she was thinking about all the good things in their relationship. That wasn’t the sort of thing he wanted to interrupt.
But the way her lips were turning down made him think if he was in her thoughts at all, they weren’t good ones. “I thought we could try fishing next week instead of bugs.”
That got a reaction from her. She finally looked at him. “I don’t think so.”
What was he thinking? “Right, vegetarians probably don’t fish. Forget that. Ever been on a boat? We’ve got a canoe in the storage shed. I can pull it out and buff it up. It’ll be fun.”
“Ty—”
“I know what you’re gonna say, but it’s perfectly safe. I’m a great swimmer, and I’ve got plenty of life vests.”
“Ty, stop. Don’t say that.”
He replayed his last few words, not sure where he’d gone wrong. “Say what?”
Her brow crinkled. “Don’t tell me it’s safe. That’s what you always say. About the horses, about the planes, and none of it’s true. None of it’s safe. I should never have let you convince me it was.”
Careful or you’ll make things worse. “Camille, I know those things seem scary, but there’s danger in everything we do. You could get into an accident driving a car, or swallow your food the wrong way and choke. At some point, you have to stop worrying or you’ll never be able to enjoy the life you have.”
It sounded like something out of a made-for-TV movie, but it was true. And he could see in her eyes she knew it.
“We got an offer on the house.”
The ground fell out from under him. “What?” His voice came out in a croak.
“A few days ago. I meant to tell you sooner, but we were having so much fun.” She tapped the manila folder in her hand. “Nikki’s got the paperwork together. I just need you to sign it.”
It was even worse than he’d thought, and it made him angry. “What about Evie? Is this fair to her? Running every time you’re scared?”
Her blue eyes turned red. “I’m doing this for Evie. And we’re not running, we’re going home. There’s a difference.”
They had stopped walking and were facing each other. Camille’s hands were on her hips, and her eyes dared him to keep arguing with her. This time he wouldn’t back down. He knew what she was doing and why she was doing it, even if she didn’t. And he wasn’t about to let her get away that easily.
“I love you.” He didn’t rush the words; he said them loud and without embarrassment.
Her cheeks burned pink and she started walking again. Fast.
“Camille, stop.” She almost tripped over her own feet, but she stopped moving. Her back was to him.
“I love you, and I know you love me too even if you’re too scared to say it. So I’m gonna do us both a favor and tell you now that I’m not signing those papers.”
He waited for her reaction. When she turned around, she was crying. “But you’ve got to sign them.”
“No, I don’t.”
“You promised.”
Her bottom lip trembled, and Ty felt caught. He had promised. Breaking his word to Camille was just him being selfish.
“I said I’d sign them after the wedding, and I will. If that’s what you really want, but not until then.” It would buy him a few more days at least. Give him time to think his way out of this.
Her tears turned to anger. “You still don’t understand. It doesn’t matter if I care about you, I can never be with you. Not in a week, not in a month, not ever.”
The back of his neck was burning. “Why not?”
The crescendo was building inside her. He saw it rising up behind her eyes, and it burst out of her like a volcano. “Because you’re a pilot.”
Camille’s words crushed Ty’s heart, and they weren’t done.
“I can’t let myself fall in love with you, Ty, because I can’t put myself through that again. I won’t do it. I refuse to.”
She tipped her head back defiantly. Ty went to her anyway. For one moment she allowed him to hold her, and then she pushed him away.
“Please, don’t. It’ll just make things harder. I’ll always be grateful for what you’ve done for Evie, but it’s easier this way. It’s better. For me and Evie both.” She shoved the manila folder into his hands, then turned and ran away. Conversation over.
* * *
Camille buried her head in her pillow. All she wanted to do was crawl under her blankets and pull the covers over her head like she used to when she was a little girl frightened by a thunderstorm. Only she wasn’t a little girl anymore, and this was no thunderstorm.
She’d thought telling Ty goodbye would be easy. Well, maybe not easy, but easier than this. Right now her chest ached and her stomach was swimming backstrokes. It felt almost as bad as when she’d learned Wesley had died—almost. But it would all be worth it if it meant Evie was safe. And she’d be safer back in Chicago, away from wild horses and crashing airplanes.
And if anything ever did happen to Ty, she wouldn’t have to hear about it. She could live on in blissful ignorance. There was a time when she thought truth was all that mattered. Now she knew better. Ignorance was far safer for your emotions than the truth would ever be.
A soft knock sounded on her door. Camille dried her face with her bedsheets. “Camille?” It was Nikki.
Not now. Camille wasn’t up for whatever kind of talk it was Nikki wanted to have. But Nikki wasn’t going away. She knocked again. Camille stayed silent.
“Okay, but if you don’t answer, I’m gonna have to assume something terrible’s happened to you. Like you were hanging a picture when a mouse crept into the room and cornered you. And now it won’t leave until you provide it with cheese. Do you need some cheese?”
Camille sat up in bed and curled her knees to her chest. A smile formed on her lips. She tried to fight it back and lost.
“Or maybe a lion escaped from the zoo and is holding you hostage with its massive paws. I have pepper spray in my room. Cough once if you want me to get the pepper spray.”
Camille giggled and the door pushed open. Nikki blinked and looked around the room. “I thought I heard you cough, but I don’t see any lions.”
“Does Sweetheart even have a zoo?”
Nikki shrugged and sat on the edge of her bed. “Tell me what happened. I’m guessing Ty wasn’t too happy.”
“It’s my own fault. I never should have kissed him. I never should have done a lot of things.”
“You like him. That’s not something to be ashamed of.”
She wished it were that easy. “This isn’t about Ty. It’s about what’s best for Evie. Whatever’s between me and Ty is just... It’s no big deal.” Something slapped the back of her head and she winced. It was Nikki’s hand. “Ouch. What was that for?”
Nikki’s eyes drew together. “How many men have you kissed since Wesley?”
Camille stared at her hands. “None. Well, one. Ty.”
“Exactly. And that’s why this thing with Ty is a big deal.”
Maybe. But it didn’t matter. “We’re leaving Nebraska as soon as the wedding is over.”
“Ty hasn’t signed the papers yet.”
“He will. He’s mad right now but he won’t go back on his word. He said he’d sign them after the wedding, and he will. He’s just hoping I change my mind before then, but I won’t.”
Nikki leaned back on the bed. “You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
“I guess that means I’ve got to work my people skills and get the buyers to hang on a few more days.”
Camille arched her eyebrow. “Do you think you can?”
“Maybe. But it couldn’t hurt to say a prayer.”
Evie came into the room and pointed to her stomach. Time f
or a snack.
“I’ll make you something,” Camille said. “Go downstairs and I’ll be right there.” Evie smiled and bounced happily away.
Nikki threw an accusing glance at Camille. “You haven’t told Evie yet, have you?”
No, she hadn’t. What difference did it make? “Evie knows Sweetheart isn’t permanent.”
“But she’s six, and she’s gotten pretty attached to some of the things and people around here, don’t you think?”
“And when we get back to Chicago, she’ll get reattached to the things and people there.”
There was another sigh coming. Nikki shook her head. “You know I’ll always love and support you, whatever your decisions are, but are you sure this is really what’s right for Evie?”
Why did everyone keep asking her that? “Yes, I am.”
Nikki didn’t look convinced. “When’s the wedding?” Again with the questions.
“Saturday.”
“And when do you want to leave?”
Camille screwed her face up. “Sunday. Maybe Monday.”
“That’s less than a week and you haven’t told Evie yet? I thought you were doing this for her.”
Camille stood up. “I am.”
Nikki stood up too. “All right, then tell her. See what she thinks about it.”
It was a challenge, but it was one Camille would win. Evie had to miss their home in Chicago just as much as she did.
Downstairs, Evie was already at the table. Camille went into the fridge for carrots, hesitated and pulled out ice cream instead. It wasn’t a bribe—it was just covering her nutritional bases. Ice cream was part of the dairy food group.
Evie’s eyes lit up, and Camille gave her an extra scoop. She set the bowl in front of her and took a seat as Evie dug in. “Honey, there’s something I want to talk to you about.” Evie looked up, and Camille felt the air grow suddenly hot. She pulled at the collar of her shirt.
“It’s about Ty. No, no, it’s about this ranch.” That was better. Kind of. Evie’s brow started to scrunch. “It’s just that we got this really terrific offer on the place, so we’re selling it and going home. Next week. Isn’t that great?”
Evie dropped her spoon and pushed her bowl away unfinished. She held her arms out at her sides. What?
“I know you like it here, but there’s more for you to do in the city. Don’t you miss it there?”
Evie shook her head. Camille bit her bottom lip and reminded herself that kids didn’t always know what was best for them.
“Once we’re back, you’ll be happy. You’ll see.”
Evie got up and went over to a side table where several of her drawings were piled high. She searched through them all and grabbed one of Ty in front of an airplane. She pointed to him and lifted her shoulders.
“No, Ty’s not going with us.”
Evie glared at her and kept pointing to Ty.
“Honey, I’m sorry. He can’t come with us. He wouldn’t want to anyway. His home is here.” But that was the wrong thing to say. Evie threw her drawing on the floor and ran away from the table. “Evie, wait.” Camille followed her upstairs, but Evie had already shut and locked her door.
Nikki stood in the hall. “I guess Evie doesn’t think moving back is what’s best for her after all.”
Camille rounded on her sister. “That’s because she’s six, Nikki. I’m her mother, I know what’s best and it’s in Chicago. So please, if you really meant what you said about respecting my decisions, then back me up on this. Otherwise just don’t say anything at all.”
Camille went back downstairs and outside to the porch. Nikki, wisely, did not follow.
Chapter Fourteen
Hump day was extra lumpy this week, and Ty was ready for it to be over. He walked into the house and went past Camille without saying a word. She was sitting on the living room floor with her legs crossed. Wooden signs were spread out around her, and she was hand-painting directions on all of them.
Reception, right arrow. Bathrooms, left arrow. Ceremony, straight ahead. Evie was off with Daisy and Maricela, and Dillon was supposed to be coming home in another hour or two. Ty was just waiting for the official call to go pick him up from the hospital.
The hammer Ty wanted was on the counter where he’d left it. He grabbed it and went past Camille again on his way to the door. One of her signs tripped him, and he almost fell on his face. She didn’t even look up, just moved the sign closer to her so no one else could trip on it.
Ty turned for the door. Camille’s iciness was giving him frostbite, and it was just a little too much for him this early in the morning It wasn’t even ten o’clock yet. He opened the door and almost ran into Maricela.
“Where’s Emmitt?” Her words cut through the silence, an alarm bell that jangled his nerves.
“I thought he was at the stables.”
Emmitt had skipped breakfast this morning, but that wasn’t totally unusual for him, especially when he was on stable duty. He’d rather get out early and take the horses for a ride than sit around and eat bacon.
Maricela shook her head. “He’s not there. I just checked. No one’s seen him all morning. And the horses are all in their stalls.” Ty’s anxiety began to creep.
Camille was looking up now. “Maybe he slept in.”
But even as she said it, Ty didn’t really believe it. Emmitt woke up before the birds. He went to Emmitt’s room and knocked. No answer. He tried again. Still nothing. Ty wasn’t the type of person to invade someone’s privacy, but he had to know if there was a problem.
“Emmitt? I’m coming in.” He pushed the door open and poked his head into an empty room. Ty shut the door and went back downstairs. Camille and Maricela both looked at him. “He’s not there.”
Maricela’s shoulders sagged.
“Let’s not overreact,” Ty said. “Emmitt likes his walks. He’s probably just out on one of the trails. Why don’t we give it a couple hours before we start worrying? Emmitt deserves our trust.” It was what Dillon would say.
So why did he feel like he should be sending out the cavalry? Trust shouldn’t be so hard. Neither should love. He glanced at Camille, who was back to ignoring him completely, then went outside and headed for the barn. He kept his eyes open for Emmitt’s dark-haired figure bobbing amongst the prairie grass.
A few of the horseshoes Camille had decorated for the dairy barn were on the ground. He hung them back up, then said hello to Milkshake. Evie had paid her a visit earlier today, but Milkshake didn’t mind the extra attention from Ty.
He started sweeping hay and double-checked that more of Camille’s decorations weren’t about to fall. It was all busy work, designed to keep him away from Camille. Knowing she was inside the house but totally unapproachable was driving him nuts.
The scar on his arm started itching. It hadn’t itched like this in a while, but all week long it had been bothering him. He pulled the sleeve of his shirt up and scratched it like a mosquito bite. The itch turned to a burn, and the warmth began to spread.
It’s all in your head.
Yeah, yeah. He knew. It had burned plenty after his plane went down and Ty emerged as the solo survivor, but since then it only sparked up when he was under stress. He scratched it harder.
“Stop. Just relax.” Talking out loud to a room full of cows couldn’t be a good sign. Ty was losing it.
No. Not losing it, losing her. Losing them. And there was nothing he could do about it.
It’s a test.
That had to be it. God’s final joke. It was unfortunate, because Ty was about to fail. He looked up at the roof, seeing beyond it toward an invisible creator who passed His time playing games with people’s hearts.
“I give up. I’ll never beat You. Whatever I do, You do better. Whatever I get, You take away. So guess what? You win. And we’re through. Too bad. Just when I was s
tarting to like You again.”
A throat cleared behind him, and Ty turned to find Dillon standing there, a crutch propped under each arm and his leg in a cast. “Do you and your invisible friend need a moment alone together? I could come back later.”
Ty broke into a grin and drew Dillon into a careful hug. “When did you get back?”
“Just now. Josh got me.”
“I thought you were gonna call.”
“I did. You didn’t pick up. So I tried Emmitt. He didn’t pick up either. Josh is the only one who likes me well enough to answer.”
Ty looked at his phone and saw three missed calls. “I must’ve been spacing out. Sorry.” He stared at the phone. The last call was from an hour ago. “Emmitt didn’t answer?”
“No. Why?”
“He hasn’t been around this morning. He wasn’t at breakfast either.”
Dillon frowned and pulled the keys from his pocket. “I’ll take the Silverado. You saddle up Honey. We’ll find him in no time.”
But Ty grabbed the keys from Dill’s hand and stuffed them in his pocket. “You’re not going anywhere. Especially not now. It’s supposed to start storming in a couple hours and you’re down one leg.”
“Yeah, but it’s not my driving leg.”
Ty kept his head straight on his neck, folded his arms across his chest and spread his legs hip-width apart. It was a power stance. He’d learned it watching his superiors in the navy. Effective for two things—getting an extra dessert at mealtime and making people squirm.
“You shouldn’t be out here. Let’s get you settled in. I’m sure Emmitt’s fine.” Probably fine. As soon as Dillon was sitting down, he’d get Maricela and the others and put Dillon’s scouring idea into practice. He started for the house. Dillon stayed where he was.
“So, is it God you are giving up on or just yourself?”
A groan rose from Ty’s throat. He was hoping Dillon hadn’t heard all that. God was really playing him for a fool today. “You need to rest your leg.”
Finding Her Courage Page 15