“Not yet.”
“Okay, I know it’s rough out here right now, but we need someone on horseback. We already know Evie moves fast when she wants to.”
Emmitt stepped forward. “I’ll go. I’m good with a horse. Honey’s scared of snakes but couldn’t care less about thunder.”
Ty wasn’t sure sending Emmitt out alone into the storm was a good idea given all that had happened, but he really was the best with a horse.
All right, God. I’m trusting You to help us out on this one.
“Okay, Emmitt. Thanks.”
“I’ll go too,” said Daisy. “I can ride Pepper. We’ll cover more ground if we split up.” Pepper was the only other horse Ty trusted not to get spooked in this kind of weather.
He nodded. “Take walkies.”
Whatever worries were swimming around Emmitt’s gray eyes, he kept them to himself. He turned to Camille. “Evie’s strong. She’ll be fine.” Then he was gone.
“What about me?” Camille asked. “What should I do?”
Desperation had crept into her eyes somewhere between town and the ranch. Her hair was plastered to her head, making the desperation more obvious. And desperate people acted without thinking. That was never good for anyone.
“You and I are gonna start at the dairy barn and work our way out. Evie’s got a thing for animals, right?” Camille nodded. “We need to check every loft, every haystack, every—”
“I’ve got it. I’ll meet you there.” Lightning couldn’t have moved faster. That was good. It meant she was moving with purpose. He told everyone else to spread out, stay in pairs and take a walkie if they headed out of cell range. Ty grabbed a walkie for himself and went to join Camille.
This was the part Ty hated most. The one where hope and doubt brawled it out inside him. He hoped he’d walk into the barn and find Evie tucked safely in Camille’s arms. Her hair would probably be covered in hay and she’d give him one of her cute-kid smiles and everything would be okay again.
But it was doubt who met him at the door. Inside the barn Camille was the only one with hay in her hair, and there was no Evie in her arms. Her eyes were spilling out a never-ending waterfall, and she was spinning in a slow circle. “Evie!”
The only response came from Milkshake. Even if Evie heard them, she wouldn’t answer. Calling out to her was only making their voices hoarse, and it was getting them nowhere fast.
He climbed the ladder to the loft and peeked over the edge. There was no one up there. A thin layer of hay covered the floor, not nearly enough for anyone to hide under. Not even a little girl. He climbed back down and almost tripped on Camille. She was hovering at the bottom rung, staring at him.
“Why didn’t you go up?” she asked.
“I just did.”
“But you didn’t go up. You just looked around. That’s not the same thing. You said to check everywhere.”
“Camille, she’s—”
But Camille was already moving past him, climbing the ladder and crawling into the loft herself. He didn’t try to stop her. Heavy footsteps sounded above him as she stomped from one end of the floor to the other. They stopped, and he expected to see her feet appear over the edge. When they didn’t, he got nervous.
“Camille?” He climbed up the ladder after her. She was on the floor with her knees curled to her chest.
“This is my fault.” A sickly rattle was at the back of her throat, muffling her words. “I told Evie we were moving back to Chicago, and she didn’t want to go.”
Ty sat down next to her and put his arm around her, gently stroking her hair. They were covered in shadows, but there was enough light to see that her skin had turned pale. “You were just doing what you thought was best for her.”
A choked sob-laugh broke free from her chest. “That’s just it. I wasn’t. Not really. I kept trying to tell myself I was doing what was best for Evie, but I wasn’t even close.”
She pulled back and looked at him. The bright blue of her eyes mixed with the gray shadows and cast a strange dark glow across her face. A stray strand of hair fell across her forehead. Ty pushed it out of the way and Camille held her breath.
“Ty, everything you said was true. I was scared of my feelings for you. And I did the most unforgiveable thing any mother can do. I used Evie as an excuse to get away from you.” A tear ran down her cheek. She let it run. “If I’ve lost her, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Ty squeezed her hand; she squeezed it back. “Evie’s gonna be okay. I promise.” Camille would be okay too if she could just get out of her own head for a minute. “You don’t have to forgive yourself. That’s God’s job. All you have to do is trust in Him, and He’ll get you through this.”
She blinked back more tears. “I’ll try. I really will.”
All right. Enough. Ty stood up. He took Camille’s hand and helped her to her feet. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“The hangar. Evie likes the planes almost as much as she likes the animals. She could be hiding in one of them.”
Camille’s eyes widened. “That’s a good idea.”
They hurried to the hangar, but it turned up just as empty as the barn. Camille didn’t crumble though; she steeled her gaze and kept looking. And Ty got an idea. He pulled up the Doppler radar and checked the crosswinds. Fifteen knots. Ty had flown in worse, and the Cessna could handle twenty. Thirty if he pushed it hard.
The tornado was hovering in the next county. If it moved over, he might get into trouble, but until then he could manage things. He grabbed the keys for Cessna 2 and opened the other half of the hangar door.
When the first plan doesn’t work, make a new one.
“What are you doing?” Camille asked.
“Going up. We’ve already got people on horse and on foot. Plan B is the Cessna. I’ll take her up and see what I can find.”
Alarm sounded in Camille’s eyes. “Is that safe? Dillon’s plane crashed and it wasn’t even raining.”
“It’s safe enough. The Cessna’s stronger than the Piper in a storm like this, and I’ll cover way more ground in the air.” He got into the pilot’s seat and realized his heart was beating hard. The last time he’d flown in a storm was the night Jon died. “Go look in the house. Who knows, maybe Evie—”
“I’m going with you.”
Ty blinked, positive he’d misheard her. “What?”
She was moving toward the plane. “I’m going with you. How do I get in?” She tried to hop up and almost fell on her behind.
This wasn’t the time for her to put on a brave front. Ty hopped down and helped her off the ground. “Camille, it’s not gonna help if you go up there and panic. It’s better you stay here.”
“I can’t stay here. I’ll go nuts if I do.”
Now was the time she chose to face her fears? “It’s too dangerous.”
“You’re not scared.” But part of Ty was scared. Part of him was terrified.
“You’re staying here.”
“I said I’m going.” She had her hands on her hips. That mama bear look was coming out again. This was no front—she was serious.
“If something goes wrong...”
It was at least two deep breaths before she answered. “You said it was safe. I trust you...and I trust God.”
Ty couldn’t believe he was about to say this. “All right then, let’s get you in the air.”
* * *
Don’t look. Whatever happens. Just. Don’t. Look.
“You okay?” Ty was seated beside her. That was good. She needed him close right now. But when he turned the key and the engine roared up, that was all she could hear.
Oh, dear God, please, oh, please, oh, please, don’t let us die.
She drew in a deep breath and let it out. Trust. She trusted God, and she trusted Ty. She’d just have to remind herself of that over and ove
r and over again. Probably for the entire time they were in the air. And how long would that be exactly?
But that was an easy one to answer. She would stay up there until she found her daughter. That one thought was enough to calm her. Finding Evie was all that mattered now. And with Ty and God both on her side, she could do this.
She opened one eye and saw Ty staring at her. “Ready?” he asked.
“Let’s go.”
He radioed something to the others, letting them know what was going on, then he took them out of the hangar and down the runway. The plane shuddered, and she let out a squeal. Ty looked at her. That had to be the last place he should be looking. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Eyes on the road.”
She closed her eyes again. Better she didn’t know what was going on until it was all over. She would just keep her eyes closed the entire time. That was all. Ty could tell her when they were safe on the ground again.
Ahem. Captain? We have a problem.
Right. If she kept her eyes closed the whole time, she wouldn’t be able to look for Evie. Why did her inner voice choose this moment to start making sense?
Okay. Fine. She would open her eyes, but only because she owed it to her daughter. If there was even a chance of finding her from a thousand feet up, she had to take it. Wait. A thousand feet? Was that even right? What if it was more?
She opened one eye and tugged on Ty’s shoulder. “One second.” He pulled back on the controller. It looked like a big stick coming out of the floor. The front of the plane tipped back, and the nose went up into the air, fighting against the rain. Thunder sounded, and Camille swallowed the scream rising on her lips.
The plane was coming off the ground. It peeled off the grassy runway and there was actual air beneath them now. Ty turned back to her. “What’s up?” Her mouth forgot how to move, and her voice couldn’t speak. “Camille, are you okay? You want me to take you back?”
He started moving like he meant to bring the plane back down. She found her voice. It was weak, but it was there. “No. Keep going.”
There was his lopsided grin. His warmth spread to her even as they cut through the air, and she reached out one hand to touch his shoulder. As long as she kept it there, she felt safe. Ty was her rock, or in this case, her wings.
She knew he was only a man, but oh, my, if he didn’t fly like an eagle. The ground kept falling away from them, but the plane felt steady even in this wind. She had no idea how he was doing that. The plane leveled out, and instead of her heart exploding, it found a new rhythm. A steadier rhythm than what she was used to even on the ground.
A low flying cloud looked close enough for her to touch, and something inside her she didn’t even know had been off flipped on.
Oh, wow. I get it.
Being in the air was like being one step closer to Heaven.
“Let me know if you see her,” Ty said.
It was easier looking at the clouds than at the ground, but she had to do it. For Evie. For Ty. For herself. She squeezed Ty’s shoulder and moved her eyes down. The first glance was a downward spiral. She had to shut her eyes fast or she was afraid she’d fall out. Everything was upside down, and her heart was back to skipping beats.
But it didn’t last. Ty’s hand came off the control wheel, just for a second, just long enough to squeeze hers. It was all she needed. Had she really tried to convince herself she didn’t love him?
One more time.
She opened her eyes, and the land below them came into sharp focus. A few deep breaths and she got through the initial shock of it.
“How high up are we?”
“About a thousand feet.”
She forgot the clouds and kept her eyes on the ground. Evie was down there somewhere. The only light they had was gray and dismal, but they were close enough to the ground that it was enough. Anything bigger than a mailbox came into focus.
On their left, Honey was racing down a dirt path. Emmitt’s shadowy figure was easy to pick out even from this high up. On their right, Daisy was riding Pepper as fast as she dared.
Ty turned the plane. It was a gentle curve, not a roller coaster. The wings tipped to the left and the ground began to shift under them. Something caught her eye farther north of them.
“There.” She pointed toward a large tree with pink blossoms growing out of it.
Ty veered the plane in that direction. “I’m gonna bring her in a little closer.”
The plane dipped down, and any panic Camille might’ve felt at the sudden change in height was overshadowed by the possible sighting of Evie. They cut their distance in half, and Evie’s face lifted toward them from over by the tree. Her hair and clothes were plastered to her body.
“Evie!” Camille waved to her daughter.
Ty looked at her. “Camille, stay in your seat. Don’t get up.”
Was he kidding? She wasn’t gonna jump out from this height, no matter how happy she was to see her daughter. Evie looked up at them and her mouth dropped open. Slowly she lifted one hand and waved back.
“Stay right there. Don’t move.”
“Camille, she can’t hear you.”
But she didn’t care. She kept waving, and Evie kept waving back. “How do we land this?” She searched the ground for a spot for Ty to set down.
He chuckled. “We don’t. Not here anyway.”
“But Evie.”
“I’ll radio it in. We passed Emmitt back there. Give him a minute to get over here. We’ll keep circling till then.”
Evie was standing now. She started jumping up and down and jogging along with the plane trying to keep up.
Camille’s eyes teared up. When Emmitt finally got there, Evie was nothing but a great wet blur. But she was safe. And as long as Camille had that, it didn’t matter if Evie ever talked again. Talking was overrated anyway.
* * *
The plane touched down and Camille expected to see Evie running toward her, arms outstretched, but she didn’t even see Emmitt. She started getting up and Ty’s hand immediately shot out and pushed her back into the seat.
“Not yet. The plane’s still moving.” He sounded serious. Maybe she ought to listen. Her mind was just moving so fast, and her feet were anxious to catch up to it.
She tapped her foot, then switched to making fists with her hands. How long did it take for a plane to come to a complete stop anyway? And where was Evie?
No matter which direction she looked in, all she saw was open space, puddles and a whole lot of not Evie.
Finally Ty let her go. He took her hand to help her down, and she felt his pulse beating beneath his skin. A steady rhythm that jumped ever so slightly at her touch. He put his other hand on her waist so she wouldn’t fall, and their noses bumped against each other.
A horn started honking, breaking the moment they were inching toward. She turned and saw Maricela barreling across the runway toward them in the Silverado. Dillon jumped out too fast and his crutches slipped in the mud. One fell over, and Nikki picked it up for him. Her blond hair spun in a circle as her head did a three-sixty scan. The rain was letting up a little now. “Where’s Evie?”
Good question. She turned to Ty. “Where are they? Do you think something happened? Should we go back for them?”
He took her hand and squeezed it. “Deep breaths. Evie’s fine. Emmitt was on a horse. We were in a plane. It’s gonna take him a little longer to catch up, that’s all.”
But Camille wouldn’t really believe Evie was okay until she was here in her arms. She found north and started walking that way, wanting to meet them.
Nikki and Ty followed after her. People kept congratulating her as if she’d done something special. It was Ty who’d found Evie, with God’s help. All Camille had done was sit in the plane and...
Sit. In. The plane.
Oh. She’d just flown in an airplane. So much had been happenin
g all at once, the magnitude of that hadn’t really hit her until just now. She stopped walking and looked at her sister.
“What?” Nikki wiped rain out of her face.
“I flew in a plane.”
Nikki blinked. “This isn’t a good time for jokes.”
She shook her head. “No, really. I went up with Ty looking for Evie.”
Nikki looked at Ty, seeking confirmation. The smile on his face was enough for her. Nikki’s jaw dropped open.
“You know what else?” Camille said. “I didn’t die. Nothing bad happened. In fact, just the opposite.”
“Don’t tell me you liked it.” Nikki was shaking her head now, disbelief firmly planted in her eyes.
Camille shrugged. “I kind of...did.” It was hard admitting that, but she wasn’t gonna hide her real feelings anymore. Not from herself, not from others.
Ty’s grin went wild. He didn’t even have to say anything, all he had to do was look at her and she knew he was proud.
“There she is,” Nikki said, pointing.
Emmitt’s horse came into view. Evie was sitting in front of him, grinning. For half a second, the horse stopped and Emmitt’s figure was silhouetted against a darkened sky with streaks of sunlight shooting out from behind the clouds. A real-life cowboy, and Evie’s new hero.
He hurried toward them, and the second Evie was within grabbing distance, Camille reached for her. She cradled her daughter in her arms, shedding happy tears for once instead of the exhaustive supply of sad ones the last two years had afforded.
No more tears after today. Only happy times from now on. It would be a new rule in their house, along with pizza parties every Friday night.
When she finally let Evie pull back enough to breathe, there were tears running down her cheeks too. They blended with the sprinkles still coming down.
Camille kissed her head. “Evie, I know you were mad at me, but you can never run away like that again, okay? Do you know how scared I was? How scared your aunt Nikki and Ty were?”
She hugged Evie again, not wanting to let go. A tiny squeaky sound came out of the mass of wet golden hair. “I...”
Finding Her Courage Page 17