by Aria Ford
“One thing at a time.”
I got a call from Uncle, who already knew about Carrie and wanted to know if I'd come back to the office yet. I said I'd head down to the hospital at five and he was strangely okay about that.
“No worries, Drew. If you need me to, I'll put in a word for you at the board meeting...take the time you have to take.”
“Thanks, Uncle,” I said.
When I hung up I couldn't help but be amazed by the irony of that. Carrie had nearly died and I was miserable because of the pressures from her father and my uncle. Now, suddenly, that they saw how deadly their games could be, they were taking the pressure off?
“Now when they might have ruined three lives.”
I left early and headed back to the hospital. I still didn't know how I felt about Carrie...I was devastated, but primarily because she was my friend. And I felt guilty. Her father could exonerate me as much as he liked. I still felt bad because she blamed herself for the fact things hadn't worked out between us. I felt bad because my heart had belonged to someone else and I couldn't make myself part with that for her.
“Mr. Bronson?” I said, walking into the ward. He looked up. Someone in the bed sat up.
“Drew!” she looked at me with big round brown eyes.
“Carrie!”
I felt my heart flood with warmth.
“Drew. You're here...” she smiled and I felt so, so bad.
“Yes. I came as soon as I could. You're feeling better now?” I asked. I sank into the chair by the bed and looked into her eyes. She was still too pale, her cheekbones like crevasses, her eyes too big for her face. But she did look more alive than she had the previous morning.
“I feel awake,” she said. She chuckled. “It helps. Daddy said they'd been making me sleep. I'm glad they stopped.”
I laughed. “It was most unlike you,” I said. “Normally you'd be awake and making sure everyone did their job efficiently.”
She rolled her eyes. “I am not that bad. Am I? Daddy, tell him I'm not so bossy.”
Her father laughed and I did too. She flushed red. Then she laughed too.
“You're not bossy, sweetheart,” her father said. “You're.... good at knowing what has to be done.”
I nodded. “Yes.”
She looked into my eyes and I felt as if there was a new peace between us. She looked more calm, less frazzled than she usually did.
“Drew. Daddy?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“I need to chat to Drew for a while. If you can find my doctor and ask him exactly when he's planning to let me out of here or something?”
Her father laughed. “I'll do my best. But I better hope his answer is soon. Or you'll be mad at me.”
She smiled fondly. “Oh, Daddy,” she said.
He headed out of the room, walking with slightly more energy than before.
When he had gone, Carrie turned to me and smiled. “Drew,” she said in that voice that was a thin shadow of its former self. “I'm...thank you for being here with me now.”
I shrugged. “It's the least I can do. How are you, Carrie?”
“Okay,” she said. “My back still hurts and my head is sore, but I'm feeling stronger.”
“Good,” I nodded fervently. “I don't think it'll take long for you to get discharged,” I added.
She nodded emphatically. “I'm glad! I hate hospitals. How about you?”
“Never been in one. Not really.”
“I was. To have my tonsils out. When I was four...it was horrible.”
I nodded. “I'm sure.”
We talked about similar things for a while – her weekend before the collapse, my work, her work...small easy topics to keep away the big difficult matters.
“Drew,” she said after a while. “I'm so glad you came. I wanted to see you. You know...” she shrugged. “I didn't want to...go...without closure with you.” Her eyes were damp and to my surprise I was crying too.
“Don't say that,” I said. “I don't even want to consider it.”
“Oh, Drew,” she said, smiling at me fondly. “You're like a big silly brother sometimes.”
I chuckled. “Well, you're my sister, Carrie – always will be.”
She nodded. “I'm so… I'm so glad we got to say that. Finally. Without...all this.” She made a gesture that encompassed my work-clothes, the sky-scrapers outside the window, the whole town.
“I know,” I nodded. “It's how we would always have been if people left us.”
“Yeah.” She chuckled. “I could wish that happened more around here.”
“Yeah,” I agreed vehemently. We both smiled.
“I'm glad... I'm glad you understand.”
“Of course I do,” I said, and my heart clenched. I took her hand in my own. “Carrie. Of course I do.”
She smiled at me sadly. “So you're not mad at me?”
I shook my head. I couldn't have felt more pain if she'd shot me just then. “Carrie!”
“What?”
“How could you ever even have thought that?”
She shrugged. “I don't know.”
Her hand was still in mine and I squeezed it. “Well I'm not. I never would be. I am mad at everyone who put so much pressure on you that you made yourself ill. But not you.”
She smiled faintly. “Oh, Drew. I knew you'd understand. You always do.”
“You do too,” I said.
As we sat there, hand in hand, I realized that yes, we did have a special relationship. We could talk to each other, we understood certain aspects of each other. I would even say I loved Carrie. But it wasn't like the love I had for Allie. I was like a brother to Carrie.
I held her hand and we chatted about silly things – things that made us both laugh. My heart was lighter by the time visiting hour was almost at an end. I could see Carrie wearying – she got tired so easily – and I stood.
“I should go and let you get some rest,” I said gently.
“I'm so glad you came.”
“So am I,” I said warmly. “So am I.”
I walked out of the room, my heart feeling lighter. I was glad we finally understood each other a bit better. That piece of my history could finally be laid to rest. We were both much lighter for it.
Now I felt that I was finally free to be honest with Allie. To put the past behind us. To move into the future.
I sat down in the car and checked my phone. No message from Allie.
“That's weird.”
I felt a sudden fear. What if she wasn't okay? Her online status had updated recently, though, so I reckoned she must still be alive.
“Oh, Allie.”
I put my head on the steering-wheel, feeling a moment's pain. Just when I reckoned I was free to love her, I'd managed to make her mad at me. What was I going to do?
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Allie
Wednesday morning was as busy as Tuesday. I walked briskly into the bakery and set up the front room. I was the first person there this morning. I'm not surprised... I can't sleep at the moment.
I was restless. I was mad.
“It's all his fault.”
I was furious with Drew. I was, even more so, furious with myself. I couldn't believe I'd been taken in.
“Ms. Hendricks?”
“Marcelle,” I called, pushing the table into place with my foot. I was rearranging stools and tables, setting out sugar-dishes automatically. “Having a good morning?”
“Not bad, Mrs. Hendricks. At least it's sunny out.”
“It is,” I nodded. “Nice change.”
“Yeah.”
She came in, pulling a net over her hair. “Oven's on?”
“Just started heating it. You can start baking any time you like...” I called over my shoulder as I put the last table down and got ready to open the door.
“Sure thing, Mrs. Hendricks.”
When I had finished opening up and went into the kitchen, she was already rolling croissants from the dough I'd made t
he previous night. I ate one of yesterday's scones for breakfast, then started working.
“Phone again,” Marcelle called. “Shall I get it?”
“I'm on my way.”
As I had every morning that week, I tensed before I lifted it. If it was Drew I wasn't going to talk to him. I'd just pass him on to Marcelle. I was furious.
If he thinks he can walk into my life, use me and walk out, he needs to think a bit longer next time.
I wasn't going to let him do that to me. What did he think I was? Unfeeling? I cleared my throat.
“Hello? Sugarlips bakery. How can we help?”
“Hi. I'd like to order croissants from you for morning tea. Could you do fifty for Saturday?”
“Sure,” I agreed. I took the details, hung up, and leaned against the wall. Somehow, though I really wanted to avoid speaking to Drew again, a part of me still wished he would at least try and get in touch with me. He'd sent one text that could have been from anyone, to anyone. One text to ask if I was okay. I hadn't even answered it.
If he doesn't care about using me, why would he even care whether I was okay or not?
I wasn't going to contact him again. Not for that. Not for some perfectly insincere wish that he would probably have expressed to some business contact as easily as to me. Why did I think I mattered to him? Why was I so quick to think that? I was just a nobody. I should remember that.
I heard someone ring the bell and I hurried to the front of house and took the first orders of the day.
“Two coffees, please. And two jam scones.”
“Coming right up,” I said tiredly. My eyes scanned the crowded cafe and I scraped a strand of brown hair out of my way, feeling under-equipped to deal with a group like this.
I'm so tired. And really, I don't feel like it. It's just not worth it... nothing's really worth it, is it?
As I was setting up the coffee machine, I caught sight of a familiar face.
“Frank!” I said.
“Hi.” He came in and walked around the side of the counter, joining me in the kitchen. He looked cheerful and relaxed and it made me feel better just to see his rugged, happy face.
“This is a surprise,” I said when we'd finished in the shop-front for a moment. He was in the kitchen, leaning against the wall.
“Yeah. I can't stay long. I just wanted to chat. How's things?”
I sighed. “Not bad,” I said in a small voice. He gave me a funny look.
“Yeah, and not good either. What's up? You're not happy.”
“No,” I said. “I guess I'm not it's...it's lots of things, Frank. Mostly I wonder why I bother.”
“No. Don't wonder that,” Frank said gently. He sounded genuinely upset. “There are so many of us who're glad you do bother.”
I chuckled. His gentleness, his kind smile, made my heart sore. I wanted to cry. They were so much in contrast to the unkindness I'd experienced in life. “Frank...you're just sweet.”
“No, I'm not,” he said gently. “You are. And so many of us appreciate that. You know Kelsey idolizes you, right?”
“What?” It was my turn to be incredulous. “No way!”
He laughed. “Yes! I can't believe you,” he added, shaking his head in obvious amusement. “You mean you hadn't noticed?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “Kelsey's a great girl. Sensible, honest...I would never have thought she would admire me!”
“Well she does. And so do I?”
Now I was about to cry. “Oh, Frank,” I said. I leaned back on the wall and closed my eyes. “Don't say such lovely things. I really will cry, then. And then I'll have to big swollen eyes all day... that isn't any good at all for serving customers out in the front there.”
He laughed. “Oh, Allie. It's good to have you back. I'm sure whatever it is will work out. But please – don't ever say it's not worth it. You have no idea what a difference you make to people's lives just by being in them.”
I gulped. “You too, Frank. You just saved my sanity.”
He grinned. “I'm not going to claim that.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Frank Raymond. You can get out of my kitchen,” I said with a big grin. “Or I'll show you how lacking in sanity I've got...”
“Alright, alright... I'm going! I'm going!”
I was laughing as I chased him to the back door. Marcelle ignored our antics, patiently unloading croissants from the oven. I heard the bell go in the front and headed quickly out.
“Two coffees, one apricot croissant and a bun, please.”
“Coming right up,” I said cheerfully.
I had stopped feeling quite as down after Frank's visit. But nothing was going to convince me to forgive Drew.
“I think your phone made a noise,” Marcelle commented as she walked past me to the counter-top.
“Oh?” I felt a sudden excitement, though I pretended not to care. Why should I care? I knew what Drew's game was now. I wasn't interested in it.
I casually finished cutting out the scones and putting them on the tray and then I went to the back to find my phone.
Allie? Are you mad at me?
I sighed. It was Drew. I wasn't going to answer, though. How could he ask such a question! Of course I was mad at him. If he didn't know, and he didn't know why, then there wasn't much point.
I put my phone back into my pocket without reply.
“Ms. Hendricks?”
“Uh huh?”
“We need a cappuccino and two Mocha Lattes...could you do it? I'm scared of that thing..:”
I grinned as Kelsey came to find me, her big blue eyes wide with concern. “Sure,” I said, and headed to the front to do the coffee-making thing. While I was there I noticed Footballer Guy in the doorway. I headed through to the back.
“Kelsey?”
“Uh huh?” She looked up from putting jam on some scones, a little frown on her smooth brow.
“Could you just go and check on Table 2, please? I think they're ready to order and I need to get the next lot of buns mixed urgently.”
“Oh. Sure.”
She bounded out and as I slipped back into the kitchen I smiled to myself. She might be out there a while.
Marcelle and I settled down to working on the big catering order together and I forgot about Drew Liston for a while. It was only when I looked up into the shop-front and saw a man in a dark suit that I remembered how sad I was. My mind had instantly filled in Drew's features over the top.
“Jeez…”
Suddenly I was sad again, just because of a damn guy in a suit. I shook my head at myself. Come on, Allie. Grow up. You're not eighteen anymore.
But I knew it didn't matter. Pain was pain and love was love. And I felt both for Drew. I couldn't help it. I had loved him since shortly after the first time I'd met him. And over the years nothing had changed... except maybe to get even stronger.
You might have treated mw just a little better this time. I sighed. I should have known him better by now. He was never going to be honest with me. I might as well resign myself to that and to the fact that, given his dishonesty, we just weren't suited. That would have to be that.
I almost cut my finger as I sliced a scone deftly in half, my eyes blurred with tears.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Drew
The rain persisted all week. I woke up on Friday feeling really sad. The gray sky outside the window didn't help to lift my mood, and I went into the shower feeling restless and determined to fix this.
I need to go to Asheville.
There wasn't much I could do out here in San Diego, not when Allie patently refused to talk to me. I'd messaged every day this week. She must really be mad at me.
When I got out of the shower and sat down at the kitchen table with a steaming cup of coffee, I found myself scrolling to the airline's site on my phone. I would see if there were flights still available this evening.
“Ah.”
I found a flight – it was ridiculously pricey, since I was literally booking on
the same day – but I had to do it.
As that meant I'd land in Asheville in the middle of the night, I had to organize a taxi and a hotel too, but it was worth it. I was going to visit her.
I drove to work feeling resolute. At least I was finally taking steps to change things. I wasn't going to take this lying down. I should have been honest the moment I got that call. Maybe even the moment I met Allie. Actually, make that six years previously.
I had been a jerk. I had been scared to be anything else. But now I was going to change that.
“Morning, Mr. Liston,” my secretary called as I walked to my office.
“Morning, Melody. How's my day today?”
“Not busy, Mr. Liston...at least, not by your usual standard.” She laughed.
I raised my eyebrow. “Good. Well, what's on the menu?”
She showed me the list of meetings and I felt myself wishing I was back in bed. But today I had something exciting planned.
In a few hours I would be sorting this all out.
“Right,” I said to myself. “Let's sign these papers.”