by L. J. Smith
Stefan pulled up in front of Elena’s house and stopped. Her front door flew open, and Aunt Judith and Robert rushed out onto the lawn. No doubt they’d heard about the fire.
Before she opened the car door to reassure them, Elena turned to Stefan and laid her hand over his.
“I know what we have to do now. We can fix everything,” she told him, feeling strong and sure. “Tomorrow, we’re going to look for Damon.”
Dear Diary,
I woke up this morning and I wished I were dead.
Not really, I suppose. If I meant it, I would just let things take their course. Grab at the chance of a brief happiness with Stefan, knowing that it will lead to so much suffering, to the destruction of all three of us.
But Damon was so full of anger. The way he looked at me when he found me in Stefan’s arms—he never looked at me that way before, even when things between us were at their worst. Like he hated me.
Elena glanced at the clock. She needed to leave for school soon. Downstairs, she could hear the familiar clatter of Aunt Judith making breakfast. It felt so much like the morning when Damon had driven her to school, when it had seemed like everything was falling into place. She began to write again.
I refuse to believe that I’ve ruined everything.
If I can just show Damon how much Stefan still loves him, how much they need each other, maybe things will turn out okay after all. I have to believe that. I can’t give up on us, not yet.
“One day off,” Bonnie fumed, flicking her red curls over her shoulder as the two girls crossed the parking lot together. “We go through a completely traumatizing event, and they can’t give us even one day off.”
“It’s amazing how quickly they pulled all this together, though,” Elena commented. In daylight, she could see that the school hadn’t entirely burned down.
One side of the building, where the office and most of the classrooms were, was charred and half-collapsed. Elena couldn’t suppress a shudder as she looked at the bell tower. The staircase she had climbed to find Stefan must be entirely gone. But the other side, where the auditorium and cafeteria were, looked mostly solid even though stained a dirty gray by the smoke. The heavy smell of ash hung over everything.
Behind the school now stood a row of temporary white trailers to be used as classrooms for the rest of the year, until the school could be rebuilt. All around the trailers, students gathered in groups, leaning eagerly toward each other to gossip. Harried administrators were trying to shepherd everyone into the right trailers. Everything seemed to be in only slightly controlled chaos.
“See you later,” Bonnie called as she veered off into chemistry, and Elena found the trailer where her trig class was. Meredith was already there, her homework laid out neatly in front of her.
As Elena settled into the desk beside her, Meredith looked up with a worried frown. “Have you heard the gossip?” she asked. “Everyone’s saying that Stefan started the fire.”
Elena remembered with a twinge of dismay the low, excited, I’ve-got-a-secret tone to the whispers before class.
They’d been here before. It might start at the high school, but the rumors would spread all over town. Adults would get upset. Stefan would be shunned.
“That’s ridiculous,” she said sharply.
Meredith bit her lip. “There’s no real evidence. Everyone used to think the way he keeps to himself was romantic, but now they’re saying it’s creepy. He disappeared from the dance right before the fire started.”
“So did we,” Elena objected.
“We were all together.” Meredith dipped her head, shuffling the papers around on her desk. “I don’t want to believe it, but it is strange how Stefan disappeared. When Matt told the fire fighters that Stefan wasn’t there, they started searching for him to make sure he wasn’t in the building. You said you didn’t see him when you looked either.”
Elena winced. It had seemed simpler when she got home just to call Bonnie and Meredith and tell them she had given up and decided to leave. Now it was too late to pretend to have run into Stefan.
“They found him back at his boardinghouse. When the police questioned him he was covered in smoke and ash.” Meredith raised her head, her gray eyes troubled. “I’m not saying Stefan did anything. And I promise not to tell anyone that Damon was there, either. But maybe you should stay away from both of them, Elena.”
“Anybody could have set that fire!” Elena said, her voice a little too loud. The teacher looked up from her desk inquiringly, and Elena lowered her voice. “It was probably somebody sneaking a cigarette.”
Meredith’s forehead creased in concern. “Elena, you don’t even know Stefan. You’ve been avoiding him since he started school. And then, suddenly, you’ve kissed him—once—and now you won’t hear anything against him? I thought you were with Damon.”
“I am, but—” Elena began.
“Okay, time to stop the chatter and review your homework assignments,” Ms. Halpern said, stepping up to the front of the room. With one more worried glance, Meredith turned away from Elena to face the teacher.
Elena chewed on her lip. This was worse than the first time she had been here. Then, everyone had started suspecting Stefan of being responsible for Mr. Tanner’s murder after Halloween. The gossip had spread until, despite the lack of any real evidence, everyone was convinced Stefan was the killer. Aunt Judith had banned Elena from seeing Stefan, and some of the adults in town—Tyler’s dad, especially—had been ready to form a lynch mob and attack him.
Now, because of Elena, all the suspicion and hatred for Stefan was starting earlier. And, that time, at least Meredith and Bonnie had been on her side. They hadn’t had any more proof of Stefan’s innocence then than they did now, but they had believed Elena when she swore he was innocent. They’d believed her because they knew she knew Stefan.
Elena wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly cold. If Fell’s Church turned against Stefan earlier, maybe it would all happen earlier. Was Elena doomed to drive off Wickery Bridge and drown, no matter what she did? She could almost feel that icy dark water rising around her.
Was it hopeless for her to try to fight fate? Was Stefan doomed to die? Would Elena end up back in that cold gray in-between place, heading for death?
The rest of the morning, Elena kept an eye out for Stefan whenever she moved from one trailer classroom to another, but she never saw him. Crowds of students gathered on the crumbling black asphalt between the trailers, talking in low, excited voices. Elena hoped Stefan had come to school today. Nothing would fan the flames of the rumor more than if it seemed that Stefan was hiding.
When she got to history class, Stefan’s seat was empty. Elena’s shoulders slumped. Mr. Tanner began to lecture about the English Civil War, and Elena stared down at her notebook, her eyes stinging.
“I see you’ve decided to grace us with your presence, Mr. Salvatore.” Mr. Tanner’s voice was whip-sharp. Elena lifted her head.
Stefan, grim-faced, hesitated in the doorway. Mr. Tanner waved an arm in an exaggerated gesture of courtesy. “Please, take a seat,” he said. “We’re all so glad you decided to wander in.”
Stefan sat down without glancing at Elena. He bent his head over his desk. His shoulders were stiffly set, betraying his awareness of the gossip and hatred buzzing around him. Elena sighed. He probably thought it was deserved, even though he hadn’t started the fire. Stefan, the Stefan of now, thought he was a monster and that people should fear and hate him.
Elena sat up straight and glared around the classroom. The girls beside Stefan, who had been nudging each other and whispering, exchanged a glance and turned back to their books with new interest.
Caroline, though, stared straight back at Elena, her lips turning up in a smirk. Tilting her head, she whispered something to the girl next to her, her eyes never leaving Elena’s, and her smile widened. She and the other girl both laughed.
At least Dick and Tyler’s desks were empty, since they were still suspended. I
t was Tyler who had whipped up a frenzy against Stefan last time. Tyler was a bully, he always had been. Elena sighed and pressed a hand against her forehead.
Was everything bound to slide toward the same ends, no matter what she did? Were some things inevitable?
No. She couldn’t believe that. She pulled back her shoulders and sat up straight, running a cold eye over Caroline, who was still smirking. When the other girl finally looked away, Elena felt a jolt of satisfaction. Elena was still the queen of the school after all.
When class finally ended, Elena shot out of her seat and grabbed Stefan’s arm, pulling him aside before he could leave the trailer classroom.
“You’re not afraid to be seen with me?” he asked softly, his head down, eyes fixed on the ugly gray carpeting of the trailer. “They’re right not to trust me, Elena.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she told him, meeting the hostile looks of the other students as they edged past. Bonnie hesitated in the doorway, eyeing Stefan, and Elena gave her a quick, reassuring smile.
“Call me later,” Bonnie said pleadingly as she left.
Once the trailer was empty, Elena turned back to Stefan. She was still gripping his jacketed arm, so tightly that her fingers ached, but he barely seemed to notice. “We don’t have much time,” she told him. “We need a game plan. We need to get Damon under control.”
Stefan huffed a short, bitter laugh. “Damon’s never under control.”
“Stefan, look at me.” Letting go of his sleeve, Elena reached up and framed Stefan’s face with her hands. His skin was cool, and his cheekbones were strong and wide beneath her fingers. She waited for him to bring his eyes up to meet hers, her heart beating hard as the connection between them slid into place, that sense of recognition and almost magnetic attraction. His face cradled in her hands, Stefan blinked as if he was seeing her for the first time.
“Don’t give up,” she said, trying to put the weight of all the secret knowledge she had—all the things she couldn’t tell him in words—behind what she said. “You’re the only one who can change things with your brother. I believe in you.”
Stefan gently pulled away from her hands, and Elena ached as their contact broke. His face was sorrowful. “I don’t think that Damon can change,” he said. “But I think I know where he is.”
Unlike the neatly maintained, modern part of the graveyard where Elena’s parents lay, the section dating back to the Civil War was overgrown and crumbling. Long creepers draped themselves across worn gray tombstones, and the ground was uneven beneath Elena’s feet. Half-broken weeping saints and angels loomed overhead, and the dark, iron-barred fronts of the mausoleums gave Elena the sense that anyone could be watching them.
“I don’t understand why you think Damon would be here,” she said, stumbling over a broken tombstone hidden in the grass. She grabbed Stefan’s arm to keep from falling.
“This is exactly the place Damon would be,” Stefan said, his gaze moving watchfully from the ruined church to a mausoleum half concealed by overgrown yew trees. “He thinks acting like a creature of the night is funny. He wants death all around him.”
Elena frowned. It didn’t really sound like Damon to her. The Damon she knew liked clean, modern lines. And he loved luxury. He didn’t stay anywhere long, but the houses and apartments she’d seen Damon live in were rich and elegant. He filled them with every possible comfort but almost nothing personal, nothing he wouldn’t be willing to leave behind. He didn’t court the trimmings of death.
Stefan glanced down at her with a slight, bitter smile. “How well do you know my brother really, Elena? You see what he wants you to see.”
Elena shook her head, but didn’t answer. Stefan had a point. If she really had met Damon just a few weeks ago, how well could she have known him?
Elena’s eyes lingered on the ruined church. It was half-collapsed, most of the roof fallen in. Only three of its walls were standing.
Katherine was underneath there, in the old church’s crypt. She might be watching them at this very moment. There was no trace of fog, no cold wind, no blue-eyed white kitten prowling in the dead grass around the church. If Katherine was there, she was lying low, content to watch for now.
When Stefan turned toward the church, Elena nudged him away. “Let’s look in the mausoleums,” she said.
The grim mausoleums made of granite and iron scattered around the old churchyard. Each housed the bones of a family of original settlers of Fell’s Church. They were dark and forbidding now, overgrown with ivy, their flagstone paths pitted by time. One had the Gilbert name, Elena’s father’s family, but she didn’t know much about the people whose bones laid there, except that one had been a young soldier killed in the Civil War.
Elena and Stefan slipped into an easy routine, working their way clockwise from one mausoleum to the next around the churchyard. Elena would stand lookout while Stefan forced each narrow door.
There was no sign of Damon in the Gilbert mausoleum, only three gray stone coffins and a dusty vase, which must have once been used for flowers. The space inside was claustrophobically narrow, its air stale, and Elena was glad to back out again after one quick look.
Surely if Damon were living here, he would have chosen her family’s mausoleum, as some sort of elaborate tease. Elena stumbled as they moved on to the next small tomb, and Stefan steadied her. “Careful,” he said. “The ground’s uneven.”
Elena cast a glance across to the newer part of the graveyard. “I’m more worried about someone catching us vandalizing graves than I am about tripping,” she said.
Stefan cocked his head, sending Power out around the graveyard. “There’s no one here,” he said. He looked drawn and tired. He probably hadn’t fed recently enough to be able to Influence anyone into forgetting about them if they were caught breaking into the tombs.
Elena stood by the next mausoleum and looked up at the ruins of the church as she listened to the grating noise of Stefan forcing the tomb’s door. At least she had the rest of the vervain in her pocket. If Katherine came out of the catacombs, she wouldn’t be able to Influence Elena.
“There,” Stefan said with satisfaction. Elena stopped staring at the church and jostled her way in beside him.
It was as gray and dusty as the others had been, but the tops of the two tombs inside had been swept clean. On one sat a pile of neatly folded dark clothing. Elena rifled through it: all black, all designer, all clearly expensive. Some of them she had seen Damon wearing. The other tomb held a folded blanket and a thin leather bound book.
Elena picked up the book. It was in Italian, and seemed to be a book of verse. “Stefan, what—” she began. A loud groan of rusted metal interrupted her, and, before she could move, the door to the tomb slammed shut. A huge thud followed, something terribly heavy slamming into the outside of the mausoleum. The small building shook, and Elena screamed, a high, thin noise.
Then there was silence. With the door closed, it was pitch-black inside the tomb. For a moment, Elena could hear nothing but the pounding of her own heart. From the other side of the tomb, Stefan swore.
“Stefan?” Elena asked, her voice rising.
Starting toward Stefan and the tomb’s door, she banged her elbow hard against something in the dark. “Ouch,” she said, and rubbed at it, tears prickling at the back of her eyes.
“Keep still,” Stefan said. She didn’t even hear him coming toward her, but suddenly he was touching her gently, running his hands over her arm.
“I don’t think anything’s broken,” he told her. “You’ll have a bruise, though.”
“Are we stuck in here?” Elena’s voice wavered, despite herself. She was suddenly, terrifyingly aware of the dead all around her. The tomb she stood beside was full of moldering bones.
There was a short pause, and then Stefan spoke, sounding grimmer than before. “Damon’s shut us in. I tried the door, but I can’t force it. There must be something jammed up against it, holding it closed.”
“Oh.”
For the first time, Elena noticed how cold it was inside the mausoleum, the cold of a stone place that never felt the sun. She shivered.
“We’ll find a way out of here,” Stefan said, his voice lightening. “Or someone will come.” Suddenly, his hands were around her waist and he lifted her gently. In a second, she was sitting on the cold top of the tomb, and Stefan was beside her, wrapping his jacket around her shoulders.
For a while, they sat in silence. Stefan was reassuringly solid beside her and, after a while, Elena let herself lean slightly against him.
Who would come for them? It was rare that someone came into this part of the cemetery, even rarer after dark, and night was coming. Elena felt a clutch of panic in her chest, and her breath got shorter. She didn’t want to stay here.
“Stefan,” she said. She turned her head toward his.
“What is it, Elena?”
“There is a way for you to get us out of here.” She brushed her hair away from her neck, dipping her head in a clear invitation.
Stefan’s breath caught and he shifted away, his slight warmth disappearing from her side. When he spoke again, he sounded choked. “I can’t.”
“You can. If you’re going to save us, you need the strength my blood will give you.”
“Elena.” Stefan sounded panicked, and she automatically reached for his hand in the dark to reassure him. “I haven’t fed from a human being for a long time. I tried once, not long ago”—The man under the bridge, Elena’s mind supplied—“and I couldn’t control myself. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t,” Elena told him, hanging onto his cold hand. “I trust you.” He still hesitated, and she added, “It’s the only way out of here, Stefan.”
With a small, soft sigh of surrender, Stefan bent his head to her throat.
It had been so long since she had been with Stefan like this. Elena’s eyes filled with tears of joy and sorrow at the familiar twin pricks of pain as his canines slid beneath her skin. His lips were gentle against her throat, and his pulse was speeding to pound in time with hers.