“Hey!” she said. “I thought you said you’d call me.”
“I did? Sorry.”
“I was starting to think you were avoiding me.”
“Oh. No,” I said. “I’ve just been busy.”
“Too busy to eat lunch?”
“Well, um, JJ was sick and all so I thought I might be contagious” was the best I could come up with.
“So, how’s your brother?”
“He’s fine now.” Which was probably the first true thing I’d said since I got off the bus.
Ellen shook all over as if the memory of seeing JJ “vomit” still had her shuddering.
“That’s good. What was that weird kid doing at your house?”
I’d been expecting this question but didn’t have a good answer in mind. “Oh, he’s new to the neighborhood. Just visiting, I guess.”
I picked up speed on the way into the school building because I didn’t know if Caleb was behind me.
“Well, anyway, you’re going to look so cool tonight! I cannot wait. We’ll have so much fun at Alexa’s party.”
“Uh-huh,” I said because, really, nothing in my life was in my control anymore so why should going to that stupid party be, either?
“It starts at six.”
“Six!” I said. Mama got home between 6:30 and 7:00. There was no way she would approve of me going to a party like the kind Alexa would have.
“Yes, but we’re going earlier. I need to be there at five-thirty.”
Five-thirty wouldn’t give me much time there. But if Caleb watched JJ, I could go, and maybe Ellen would find other friends so I could slip out. Maybe I could even use JJ’s “sickness” as an excuse that I wasn’t feeling well.
“I was thinking you could meet me at my house at five. You can get dressed there and I’ll do your hair and makeup.”
Five! I needed to feed JJ. I wouldn’t tell her, I’d just be a little late. “Okay but I’ll just get dressed at home.” I walked even faster so we could quit talking about the stupid party.
“I need to get there early because Alexa asked me to help with some stuff,” she said.
“Fine. I’ll meet you at Alexa’s instead.” I speed-walked to my locker, huffing by the time I got there. Ellen kept right up with me. She didn’t even break stride.
“Ivy, don’t make me go alone. You’re my friend! I want you with me!”
What about what I want?
“Listen, I said I’ll come, so I’ll come. But I don’t want to go that early and I don’t want … to wear makeup.” I hadn’t really planned on saying the last part but out it came anyway.
Ellen pulled her skinny self up to her full height, poked out her scrawny chest, and said, “Ivy, I need you to be at my house at five o’clock tonight. Don’t let me down or, I swear, you can find yourself another BFF.”
She took off in a huff. Ellen had been my friend my whole life and she wasn’t really asking that much of me. Especially since she’d bought me all that new stuff—even though I didn’t want it. I owed her, so I’d have to go, but good grief, I did not want to. Not one tiny bit. I banged my head against my locker door. Brandon, whose locker was next to mine, said, “I don’t think when people talk about banging their head against a wall, they mean it literally.”
“Yeah, well those people probably aren’t thinking that their life can’t get any worse.”
But I was wrong.
After school we walked home from the bus and I was just putting my key into the lock when the door opened. Standing inside, wearing an off-the-shoulder T-shirt and capris, with her dark hair streaked blond and tucked behind one ear showing about six earrings, was Aunt Maureen. That sounds like a good thing, right? And I thought so, too, at first. But how would you feel if you’d been working so hard to help your family and to keep things up and running, and then have your aunt hug you and say, “How could I stay away? Someone’s got to be here to keep this sinking boat afloat.”
* * *
“Mayonnaise,” Aunt Maureen said with her hand out like a doctor asking for a scalpel. I found the jar and put it in her hand. She closed that cabinet door and opened another.
“Macaroni,” she said. I looked through the sacks of food she’d brought until I found it.
“Really, Aunt Maureen, I can put this stuff away. I know where it all goes.”
“I know you do, sweet pea. But I don’t and I need to familiarize myself with this kitchen if I’m going to cook in it.”
“Did Mama … did she know you were coming?”
“No!” She flashed her bleach-stripped, blinding white teeth at me. “But I thought, here I am, sitting at home—again—waiting on Sonny to come home. And what happens when he gets there? He sleeps most of the weekend until he hits the road come Monday. That’s no life, sweet pea.”
“For him or for you?” I asked.
She let out her bark of laughter that I loved. “Good question.” She pulled a peppermint stick out of her purse and put it in her mouth, talking around it. “Not for me, that’s for dang sure.”
She pulled the stick out of her mouth and held it between her pointer and middle fingers, just like the cigarette she’d told me it was supposed to replace. “That’s not the marriage I signed up for, let me tell you. Not one bit.”
I thought about Uncle Sonny. I hadn’t seen him in a long time but he always made me feel special. When he talked to me, you’d have thought I was the smartest and prettiest girl on the planet. And it wasn’t just me. That’s how he treated everyone. I wondered what kind of marriage Aunt Maureen wanted that would be better than being made to feel like that.
“But … Uncle Sonny is, well, so lovable!”
She got very busy in the cabinets. When she looked at me again, she said, “Yes, he is,” and her voice quivered a little bit. “When he’s there.”
Then her voice got stronger. “Which is my point exactly. He’s never there. Or almost never, anyway.
“So I’m sitting there thinking.” She took a puff off her peppermint stick, made a face, and set it down. “I’m thinking that I have no one to cook for or look after and here your mama is with even more kids than she had once this divorce started and I’m all alone.”
I’d heard Aunt Maureen cry to Mama about how she wasn’t having any luck in getting pregnant.
“So I packed up my bags, called Sonny, and told him that the next time his big rig found its way home not to expect dinner, and here I am. Now hand me the sugar, sweet pea.”
I took longer than I needed with my head in the sack but I was trying to figure out how I was going to get to Alexa’s party now that Aunt Maureen was here.
In came JJ, riding on his sneakers with wheels. He circled the kitchen table once and then flew straight into Aunt Maureen, wrapping his arms around her tight.
“You’d better come see me, you little stinker. What do you think of those Heelys I bought you?”
“I love them! I’m giving you a hug every hour, Aunt Maureen, so you won’t leave!”
She winked at me. “Gifts work every time.”
“You didn’t need to buy us anything,” I said, but the truth was, I really did like the iPod Shuffle she brought me. She even gave Caleb a gift card to a bookstore since she didn’t know what kind of stuff he liked.
“Well, of course I did!” she said. “I plan to spoil you guys rotten. And don’t you worry about me leaving, JJ. I’m not going anywhere. Now go get Caleb. It’s time I got to know that boy.”
I handed her the sugar but she set it down. “Oh, this can wait. Let me just soak you all up before your mama gets home and steals your attention.”
I thought of how happy Mama had been this week, coming in with her face glowing, like getting away from us was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She might be tired, and she complained some about her feet hurting, but I knew Mama. I could tell she loved working. She didn’t even seem to mind that she wasn’t seeing JJ off to bed, and you know what? That hurt me almost as much as her not as
king one single thing about me. I could have been expelled from school and she’d never have known.
We went into the living room and JJ came soaring in after us on his new shoes, with Caleb following. Aunt Maureen glided down onto the couch, reaching one long arm across the back. I always thought she could have been a ballerina the way she moved so gracefully. She patted the seat next to her.
“Come sit, Caleb. Tell me about yourself.”
Good luck with that, I thought. I was starting to think that Caleb didn’t know anything but made-up stories.
“How far did you travel, ma’am?” he asked.
“Halfway across the country! I was raised here in Indiana and just could not wait to shake the dust off my shoes and get out of here. Now look, I’ve come full circle. Couldn’t wait to get back. I’ve been living in Georgia. You ever been there, Caleb?”
He shook his head, so she continued to tell him about her life in Georgia and I lost all interest. I knew the how-Aunt-Maureen-moved-to-Georgia story by heart, having heard it a million and one times from her and Mama, so I stood and tried to sneak upstairs to get to the phone in the hall there. I planned to call Ellen and tell her about Aunt Maureen’s visit and maybe, just maybe, she’d let me off the hook about Alexa’s party.
I got three steps up when I heard “Am I boring you, sweet pea?”
“What? No!” I said. “It’s just that I…” Lying never came easy to me so I decided to saw off a slice of the truth. “I just need to call a friend.”
“Well, why didn’t you say so? Nothing’s more important than girl-talk. You run along, honey. Dinner will be ready at six, okay?”
I smiled but I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that my face made more of a grimace. Five o’clock was when I was supposed to be at Ellen’s.
I took the stairs two at a time and punched in her number. Once she got on the phone I tried to get out of going but no such luck.
“You’ve got to be kidding me! I told you today how important this is to me, Ivy.”
“It’s just that Mama doesn’t approve of boy-girl parties and I thought I could sneak out but now I’ve got my aunt Maureen here. I don’t see how I can do it.”
“Just do it,” she said. “I don’t give a rat’s behind how you do it. If you were a real friend, you’d be over here right now helping me straighten my hair!”
Then she hung up. Slammed the phone down is more accurate. Ellen was always a little high-strung, but since she’d heard about this party, she’d been strung tighter than a guitar.
I threw myself down on my bed. What was I going to do?
Then I sat up. At five o’clock, Mama would still be at work, and Aunt Maureen didn’t know that I wasn’t supposed to go to a party. Heck, she probably wouldn’t even ask where I was going. Or I could lie. Well, as I said, I wasn’t very good at lying but I didn’t need to go all out with the truth, either.
I changed into the clothes Ellen bought me and ran downstairs.
Aunt Maureen was in the kitchen stirring something in a pot and Caleb was peeling potatoes.
“There you are! My, Ivy, you didn’t have to dress for dinner! JJ’s job is to set the table—without wearing his Heelys.” She looked at him and raised her eyebrows. “Caleb is our potato person. You can be our salad maker.”
“Okay,” I said, and began yanking veggies out of the fridge. I grabbed a knife and quickly hacked up the lettuce.
“Whoa, girl! You’re not killing snakes,” she said. “Didn’t your mama teach you how to make a salad?”
“She did. It’s just that … my friend? The one I called? Well, she wants me to come over because she’s … upset.” Truth. Because if I didn’t go, the word “upset” wouldn’t begin to cover it. “So I guess I’m trying to hurry.”
Aunt Maureen took the knife from my hand. “Ah! Boy trouble?”
I started to protest because Mama said she’d put me in an all girls’ school if I even thought about boys, let alone dated one. But Aunt Maureen said, “There’s nothing worse, honey. You just run on over there whenever you want. Let me make you a sandwich first.”
She spread mayonnaise on whole wheat and layered turkey slices from the deli on it. My stomach growled and I dived right in when she handed it to me.
“Run along! Here, take a pop with you.”
I smiled my thanks since my mouth was bulging with sandwich. It was so easy that I wondered why I had ever worried about it to begin with until she said, “Just be home by six-thirty, you hear?”
I nodded, glad this part was over and eager to leave. I turned to go and had to make my way around Caleb as he threw the potato peels into the trash can by the door.
He looked at me as if he could read my mind and a little chill ran down my spine.
11
Ellen tucked my hair behind my ear. Again. I yanked it out. Again. “It looks better that way!” she said. I ignored her because, really, how many different ways can you say “Leave me alone!” By my count I was up to about twelve.
She pulled a mirror out of her purse and checked her makeup. “Are you sure I look good?”
Again, how many times can you say something?
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
Maybe she didn’t believe me because my reassurance sounded fake even to my own ears. Her new boots weren’t broken in so they were really stiff. Her jeans were snug and no girl with scrawny legs should wear skinny jeans unless she wants to be compared to walking chopsticks. But I kept my mouth shut so she wouldn’t cry and ruin her eye makeup, which had taken her exactly eighteen minutes to get just right. I know. I timed her.
When we got to Alexa’s, she stiff-walked her way to the front door, panting. I thought maybe she couldn’t breathe very well with those tight jeans until she squeezed my arm and squealed, “This is so exciting!”
Oh, yeah! I thought. Almost as much fun as that pop quiz in math.
Alexa opened the door and Ellen immediately stopped smiling. She put one hand on her jutted-out hip and said, “’Sup?”
Looking her up and down, Alexa said, “So you came.”
“Of course. I said I would, didn’t I?” Ellen walked past her like she owned the house. That left me standing on the porch.
Alexa eyed me as she leaned back against the opened screen door. “What do you want?”
That just burned me, so I said, “Pizza delivery. Except I got hungry and ate yours.”
I wanted to leave right then but Ellen’s face went completely white. “She’s my guest,” she said.
Alexa sneered. “When I said ‘guest,’ I meant boyfriend, but whatever.” She swung her hip against the screen door so it opened even farther and walked into the house, leaving me to grab the door before it slammed shut.
She walked past Ellen like she wasn’t even there. Ellen’s face had gone from ghostly white to deep red and I felt sorry for her. She tried to smile but her lips shook a little. She whispered, “It’s okay, Ivy. She didn’t mean anything. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m not worried!” My whisper was louder than hers but I was mad. “You’re the only one here who cares what she thinks.”
Alexa started down the hall and looked back over her shoulder at Ellen. “Are you coming?”
Ellen mouthed to me, “I’ll be back soon.”
She turned and copied Alexa’s slow, hip-rocking way of walking. Or tried to as best a skinny girl can in too-stiff boots. Just inside the front door was what was obviously the “party room.” All the furniture was pushed against the walls and a table was covered in food. I walked in and picked up an MP3 player and went through the 300-plus songs on the playlist. I wanted to see if it worked the same way as the iPod Shuffle that Aunt Maureen got me. I sure felt lucky to have it. But then I remembered that the only thing Caleb owned was a box filled with notebooks and magazines. Not that I wanted to be thinking about Caleb but sometimes you can’t control every thought that pops into your head.
Before I knew it, some girls from school arrived. They hung in gro
ups, most of them looking as stiff and out of place as Ellen. And where was Ellen, anyway? Alexa had come out when the girls showed up but Ellen was nowhere to be seen.
Then boys came and it seemed a little more fun, because here’s the thing about boys: they don’t really care how they look. Oh, their mamas probably made them wear nice shirts and comb their hair and stuff but they didn’t look like they were trying to be something they weren’t, like the girls. So I loaded a plate of chips and dip and went over to stand by them.
It was awkward at first because someone started playing music and the boys got all self-conscious. Mainly because the girls lined up and eyed them like they had no choice but to come over and dance. So no one did anything for a while, just girls on one side waiting, boys (and me) on the other fidgeting. Well, the boys fidgeted. I ate. Then I think the boys probably just decided to do what they do best: talk sports.
“How much do you practice?” Brandon asked Andrew. They’d both been in my grade since preschool.
“I don’t. I just play backyard ball,” Andrew said.
“You have to practice, moron. This is junior high. Cuts are made in football now. It’s not like last year when we all got to play. I’m not going to be cut or sit on the bench.”
“How much do you practice then?”
“I throw passes in my sleep.” And to demonstrate, Brandon closed his eyes and pretended to spiral a ball out of his hand.
“If you’re asleep, that explains why you’re so bad,” Andrew said. All the guys laughed and so did I.
“We’ll see which one of us is sitting and which is playing, Andrew.”
“Awake or asleep?” Andrew said, and let out a fake snore that almost shook the house.
Alexa came over to the boys and rubbed Brandon’s arm. “Aw, don’t listen. We know you’re wonderful. Come sit by me.”
But Brandon didn’t seem to care that she was there. He shrugged her hand away and took a step back. He was close to me and moved so suddenly that I jumped, causing chips to hop off my plate. That sounds like something that only happens on TV shows but I found out you can be so startled that you really do it.
Ivy in the Shadows Page 8