by Grace White
“God, it hurts. It hurts so bad.”
“Ssh, ssh.” He eases me back and stands, kicking off his boots. Sol lies beside me, and I turn into him, drawn to his heat, which is weird given I’m currently hotter than hell itself.
“This isn’t natural,” he says, feeling my pulse. “Can you think of anything, Terra? Anything at all?”
I try to sift through my memories. The film ended. I needed to pee. The guys waited while I went into the restrooms. When I came out—-
“I ran into a guy.”
I hadn’t thought anything of it then, but now as I pictured his face I remembered there had been something off with him.
Something wrong.
“He had this smell and his eyes—”
“An Asodomi,” Sol spits the word as if it’s blasphemous.
“A what?” I cry.
“An Asodomi. A demon of lust.” His hand brushes over my forehead and down my cheek, his thumb dragging over my lip. Lingering. It feels good—too good. “It has to be sated, or you’ll lose yourself to the agony.”
“I— what?” My body twists and arches, trying to seek some relief, some comfort.
“Do you trust me?” The words are soft, but Sol’s expression is murderous, and I swallow my throat dry and raw.
“Terra, say it; say you trust me.”
“I- I trust you.”
He scoops me up and carries me across Cael’s room. The door is almost ripped off its hinges as Sol storms from the room, everything a blur as we move along the hall. The place is deserted. No sounds or prying eyes. Another door opens and closes and we’re inside another room.
Sol’s room.
“Sol, what are you—”
His fingers splay around my neck as his mouth comes down on mine. Cautious at first as if he’s testing the waters. And I’m sure I feel his body tremble but that can’t be right. Sol Ericson doesn’t get nervous.
I cling to his broad shoulders, crushing him to me and then he’s kissing me. And I want to cry. To shriek with delight at the wonderful sensations flowing through me. His lips are smooth and cool, a salve to my fevered skin. Our tongues tangle together as he explores my mouth in long unhurried strokes.
“More,” I rasp, breaking free, tilting my head to give him my neck. “I need more.”
I’m vaguely aware of my back hitting the mattress, Sol’s strong body pressed against mine. He doesn’t break the kiss. His mouth doesn’t break away from mine, not even as he shifts us into the middle of the bed. With every kiss, every drag of his tongue, the fire inside moves lower, collecting and building, until an inferno rages in the pit of my stomach. “Oh God...” I pant, clinging on for life. Hoping there’s more to come, needing more.
Sol must hear my silent plea because his fingers start to trace the lines of my body. Kneading and feeling. Searching and finding.
“By the gods, Terra, breathe; you have to try to breathe.”
But I can’t. I’m a writhing mess. Lost to the fire, the indescribable urge to—
I gasp as Sol’s fingers reach the waistband of my leggings.
“I’ve got you, Terra. Just focus on me.” He presses a chaste kiss to my lips, staring down at me with such reverie it makes my breath hitch. And then he’s there, touching me. His fingers dancing in long strokes in my most intimate place.
“It feels... it feels good.”
Sol finds my lips again, plunging his tongue into my mouth while his fingers continue their exploration.
“Are you okay?” he whispers against the corner of my mouth and I manage to nod, too incoherent to reply.
A single finger brushes my core and then slides inside, sending shock-waves of pleasure rippling through me.
“Something... I... something’s happening,” I cry out, clutching him, clawing at his thick strong arms.
“Let go, Terra, it’s okay to let go.” His thumb circles my oversensitive nub and I shatter. Soul destroying, bone liquefying; it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and I’m barely aware of my immediate surroundings because I’m flying. Riding a cosmic wave of euphoria.
Sol peppers my face with kisses and then pulls away, giving me space to float back to Earth.
“That was...” Embarrassment floods my cheeks and I duck my head, but he captures my chin, tilting my face back to him.
“You look beautiful like this.” He pauses a beat, brushing my cheek with his thumb. “How do you feel now?”
“Better.” I give it a second, waiting for the pain to return but it doesn’t. There’s nothing but the lingering sensations he stirred in me.
“Good, I should take you back to your room.” He starts to move but I grasp his arm.
“I want to stay, please. Let me stay.”
He studies me for a second and I expect him to tell me no, to make me leave his room as if nothing happened, but the night is full of surprises. Sol stands up and yanks off his sweater then shucks off his jeans. I drink in the sight of him. Broad shoulders. Chiseled abs. A fine smattering of dark hair trailing down the center of that delicious V I’ve heard the girls talk about over lunch as they gossip about the night before.
He doesn’t say a word as he pulls back the cover and slips inside, tucking it around the both of us. I cuddle into him, enjoying the closeness. Soaking up the feel of his skin on mine. Something has changed between us. I’m not foolish enough to believe that when the sun comes up, Sol won’t revert to keeping me at arm’s length, but we shared something tonight.
Something I won’t forget in a hurry.
“Sol?” I whisper.
“Yeah?” His voice is thick with something I can’t decipher.
“Thank you, for doing... that.”
“I will always fulfil my duty, Terra. Now go to sleep.”
I want to argue. To insist he explain more about the Ami— whatever the hell it was. Only I’m too spent to fight the pull. But as sleep takes me his words ring loud.
Fulfil my duty.
And as I fall over the cliff into oblivion I can’t help but wonder, is that all I am to him?
He hoped by the time he reached Canfield-Fisher, Terra’s lust would have subsided.
It hadn’t.
He could still feel it, lingering underneath his skin. By the gods, she’d been so needy, throwing out energy like a firecracker. And he’d wanted nothing more than to be the one who tempered the storm raging through her... but in the end, that task had fallen to Sol. He was stronger than the rest of them. Grounded. His natural affinity with Earth made him the perfect conduit to absorb Terra’s pleasure.
His jaw clenched, hands balled into tight fists at his side as he paced inside his room, back and forth, back and forth. He’d wanted to be her first.
First kiss.
First release.
First everything.
But it was not to be, and it didn’t mean he loved her any less, it just meant it would be that much sweeter when he finally got to do all the things he dreamed of with her. Skin and feather-light touches. Lips and heated kisses.
He’d watched her with Cael. Watched enraptured at the way her body responded to his kiss, his touch. And he’d been given a rare gift the other night when he’d kissed her for himself. But she was inexperienced. That much was obvious when he started to touch her.
It was the reason he stopped.
She was still confused. About herself, about them. So, while he was eager—desperate to cross that line with her—it had to be on her terms. They were all navigating this new path they were on. It had never been like this. Not in Elysia. Not here on Earth while they waited for her return.
But by the gods he wanted to feel her come undone underneath him. In Elysia, it wasn’t appropriate to think of his Vasilissa in such ways. Although, occasionally he had allowed his mind to go there. To imagine what it would be like if he was Gaia’s equal. Worthy of her affections. But now? Now everything was different; the rules had changed. Terra was human. She had desires, and needs, and urges. Coupled wi
th Gaia’s lingering bonds to each of them, it was a heady place to be.
And a dangerous one.
He and Cael were already pushing the boundaries, testing the waters for the future. They’d talked about her at great lengths. What would happen if she chose them all. How it would play out.
He was prepared to do whatever it required.
Whatever she required.
But until then, he would wait. Something he had become quite the expert on.
When I wake, I stretch, a smile breaking as memories of last night rush to the surface. But my good mood is quickly thwarted when I realize I’m alone. Rolling over, I trace the space beside me only to discover it’s cold. Pushing up on a crooked elbow, I scan the room. It’s Sol’s alright, with its dull gray walls. Bare and impersonal, it makes for a cold space. But then I spy something on his desk that makes me think there’s so much more to the guarded guy that meets the eye.
Steam rising from the lid, the Beans cup calls to me, and I climb out of bed heading straight for the drink. My smile grows when I spot my cell phone on charge beside the cup. Sol might already be gone, but he brought me coffee first and thought to put my phone on charge. It bleeps as if on cue and I read the incoming text.
Cael: everything okay, Kitten?
Me: It will be when you stop calling me that.
Cael: You love it really.
I bite my lip as I consider my reply, but Cael beats me to it.
Cael: Breakfast?
Me: You’re too late, I already had coffee.
Cael: You always have two.
Me: True.
Cael: I’ll see you in fifteen… and Kitten, don’t be late.
There isn’t time to go back to my dorm, so I make quick work of washing up in the small basin tucked in the corner of Sol’s room. As I’m attempting to tame my unruly red waves, I spot another surprise. My backpack is next to the desk. Inside, I find clean clothes and some essentials: toothbrush, deodorant, my hairbrush, and a ponytail holder.
It would seem Sol Ericson really is full of surprises, and I can’t help but glance back at the bed. My cheeks flush as I tamp down the memories. He had said it himself, he was simply fulfilling his duty. That’s all it was. I needed... help, and he stepped up to the plate. The fact he left before I woke speaks volumes. And yet, I can’t help but remember how he touched me. How he made me feel… things. Things Cael and Endo had almost made me feel, but not quite.
The irony of the situation isn’t lost on me. Sol keeps me at a distance. Puts up a wall between us. But in my moment of need, he was there. And I don’t care what he said, I felt the connection. As clear as I feel it with Cael and Endo. With Ross. It’s there, and one day we will have to deal with it. For now though, if he wants to pretend it is business as usual, then fine. I can play by his rules.
As I smile at myself in his small mirror, realization hits me—the other guys knew what was happening. They knew what Sol would have to do.
Refusing to worry over it, I stuff my belongings back into my backpack, check my appearance one last time and slip into the hall, saying a silent prayer it’s empty. Thankfully, I escape Allender in one piece only to find Cael is already waiting which only confirms he knows.
“Kitten.” He smiles, looking far too awake for a Wednesday morning. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” I say around an uncertain smile. “Sol said it was an Asod—”
“Asodomi, yeah we think so.” He crooks his arm and I accept his offer “But we checked all over campus and there’s no sign of it.”
“Isn’t it weird that things keep happening but there’s no trace?”
“Maybe. But this is Atchison, the center of weird. Everything from your average demon to your less than average warlock probably senses your power, Terra. Even if they don’t know what you are.”
“So I’m like a beacon for bad stuff? Great.”
Cael holds Beans door open and I slip inside. “It’s not like that,” he says. “Think of yourself as a magnet. Some things you want to attract, like say for example, handsome and charming elemental guardians.” I don’t look at him, but I know he’s smiling. “And others, not so much. Grab a seat and I’ll get in line.”
I choose my usual spot. But instead of watching the oak tree, I watch Cael. He didn’t have to say the words, but I know he’s here because Sol asked him to be. And I appreciate the sentiment even if I’m still struggling to understand how he can be okay with what happened last night.
When he arrives with two fresh coffees, I wait for him to sit down and then I say, “What about a protection spell? Or an invisibility spell? I’ve been reading the books Amalia gave to me and—”
“You don’t think we can protect you?”
I detect a trace of hurt in his voice and sigh. “Cael, you know that’s not what I mean. I just don’t like the idea of attracting anything here. Not until we know exactly what it is we’re dealing with.”
“Maybe it’s time we move off campus?”
“Move?” I stutter, not sure I heard him correctly.
“Yeah, we have a place on the edge of town.” He gives me a couple of seconds to absorb what he’s saying but when I don’t respond, he adds, “In case of emergencies.”
“And you think this is an emergency?” I stare wide-eyed at him and he grimaces, running a brisk hand over his head.
“This is coming out all wrong.”
“You don’t say,” I muse. “Move? To a house with the four of you?”
“Maybe. Or maybe we could have a rota or something.”
“A rota?” I choke out. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” I can see it in his eyes. “Unbelievable.”
“Terra, come on. You have work with me here. We just want to—”
“Keep me safe. Yeah, I got the memo. But what about what I want? I’ve had my world turned upside down and now you want me to leave college and move into a safehouse where I’ll be what? Guarded day and night like a prisoner?” I grind out.
Cael sinks back in his chair, dragging a hand over his face. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, no you really shouldn’t. I’m trying. I’m really trying to hold it together. But sometimes it’s like having my wings clipped when I’m around you all. You’re suffocating me.”
His face blanches and he looks visibly pained by my words. “Terra, that’s not what we ever wanted. We’re just trying to—”
“Figure it out, yeah, I know. I’m just…” I run my hand through my hair and let out a long breath. “I don’t even know anymore.”
Cael leaps out of his seat and comes and sits next me, wriggling into the chair and wrapping his arm around me. People are watching, pretending not to notice his over-the-top display of affection, but I don’t chide him. Not this time. Because the second his arms wind around me, I feel calmer.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers into my hair. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just can’t stand the thought of something happening to you on campus, right under our noses. But we’ll be more careful. We’ll figure something out. Something that works for you too, okay?”
“Okay.” I sigh.
But I already know what I need. I need to train. To unlock the rest of Gaia’s memories and power. I need them to know I can handle myself. Until that happens, their overprotectiveness is only going to get worse.
We finish our drinks in strained silence and I hate it. The distance between us. I have classes until lunchtime, but studying is the last thing on my mind so when we leave the coffee shop I blurt out, “Let’s blow off class.”
“For real?” He glances at me. “You want to blow off classes?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I just thought—”
“Terra.” Amalia is walking toward us. “There you are. Is everything okay? Jesse said…” her voice trails off when Cael clears his throat.
“Amalia.” I take his hint. “This is my friend Cael.”
“Cael Cormack, I know who you a
re.” There’s an edge to her voice that makes the hairs on the back of my neck bristle. “We have a mutual friend I believe.”
And there it is.
Violet.
I should have known.
Cael clutches the back of his neck and drops his eyes to the ground. Amalia frowns at me but I go back to her original statement. “Let me guess. Jesse saw me leave Earhart last night with Cael and our other friend Endo and now the whole dorm knows?”
She lets out a heavy sigh. “You know how she can be. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Her eyes hold an unspoken message that I really don’t want to get into right now.
Not with Cael standing right beside me.
I turn to him and force a smile. “Thanks for the coffee, I’ll text you later, okay?”
“Terra,” there’s a warning in his voice.
“I have class and Amalia is heading my way, right?”
She nods, and we wait for Cael to leave. I have no doubt he’ll follow three steps behind or text one of the others to resume Terra-watch, but as long as they stay out of sight, I guess I can live with it.
It’s not like I really have a choice.
After a few seconds of awkward silence of me glaring at him and Amalia staring at the two of us, Cael snaps out of it and says, “Nice to meet you, Amalia.” He salutes as he starts to retreat, walking backwards. “I’ll talk to you later, friend,” he enunciates the word enough to earn him a heavy eye roll.
I start toward the Malcolm Building with Amalia hot on my heels. It doesn’t take her long to fall in to step beside me and ask, “What was all that about?”
“What?”
“You and Cael Cormack. Are the two of you… dating? Because I thought you were involved with the other guy, Ross.”
“I’m not dating anyone,” I say. It’s the truth but as the words leave my lips it feels a lot like a lie.
“Oh, okay. So Jesse was—”
“Running her mouth off about things she doesn’t understand.”
Amalia is quiet beside me as we enter the Malcolm Building. I knew this day would come: the questions, the judgment. I guess it’s one of the reasons I’ve been holding back. People won’t understand the bond I share with the guys. Hell, I still don’t understand it. But I know people well enough to know what they would say if they knew. Just thinking it makes my chest constrict. I’ve spent my whole life being judged and ridiculed. To put myself in that situation again would foolish.