by Grace White
“I’m not sure what I feel. Come on.” He slides his arm around my back and guides me onto the path which leads away from the main buildings. Thunder rumbles overhead, the wind picking up around us. I glance back feeling the tentacles of evil on our heels.
“It’s not going away, Sol,” I say, narrowing my eyes, searching for anything—anyone. But there’s nothing. Only students going about their morning, their jackets zipped high, with hoods pulled up to protect themselves from the impending storm.
“We’re going to try to lure it out.”
“You’re joking, right?” I gawk at him, but his eyes are fixed ahead as we walk quickly, taking the narrow path between the library and the sports field.
“Do you still feel it?”
“Yes, it’s getting stronger.” I clutch my stomach, the stench of darkness washing over me. Overwhelming my senses. Invading my bloodstream.
“Don’t let it in, Terra. Whatever you do, don’t let it in. Not yet.” His fingers dig into my waist, keeping me plastered against him as we move quicker.
“Where are the others?”
“They’ll be here, don’t worry.”
The wind howls through the trees like a monster’s roar, and I shudder, shucking further into my jacket. Sol is heading for the clearing again. The path familiar from before when the guys brought me out here to train.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I look up at the sky, angry black clouds swelling overhead.
“We need to get a trace on its energy. This might be the only way to do it.”
Burying closer to him, I try to protect my face from the harsh wind. I expected him to chew me out for going with the coven again last night… I hadn’t expected to find myself walking straight into a trap.
With me as the bait.
“You really think we’d use you as bait?” Sol sneers and I jerk away from him regretting it the second a strong gust of wind almost knocks me clean off my feet. He rushes to my side and tries to pull me close, but I push him away.
Literally.
Sol staggers back, eyes set into thin lines. “What the hell was that?”
“Stop treating me like I’m a bystander in all of this,” I yell over the wind. “It’s growing old.”
“Did you just zap me?” He pins me with a hard look.
“I didn’t zap you,” I stifle a groan. “I repelled you.” Or something to that affect.
“Same thing from where I’m standing.”
“Hmm, guys,” a voice says, and relief floods me. I’ve never been happier to see Cael. “Not that this isn’t as entertaining as shit, but this probably isn’t a great time to… work out your differences.”
Sol goes to speak but mashes his lips together thinking better of it. I stomp past him and follow the path to the clearing.
“What the hell did you say to her?” I can just make out Cael’s words over the howling wind, but I don’t hear Sol’s grunted response.
With how volatile I feel, it’s probably for the best.
“Okay?” Ross mouths the second I enter the forest clearing and I offer him a curt nod. Dressed all in black, his hood pulled over his head, he stands perpendicular to Endo who is wearing similar attire. He goes to speak but another gust of wind shakes the trees, whipping their leaves in a vortex around us.
“Whatever this is, it’s as angry as hell,” Cael flanks me and I’m aware of Sol off to my other side. But he keeps his distance.
“So, what’s the plan?” I ask.
“Do you think you can latch onto it?” Endo yells.
“Latch onto it?”
“Like you do with us? With the trees?”
“Sorry,” I shake my head. “I must have heard you wrong because I thought you said you wanted me to try to latch onto the evil energy?”
“It’s not as crazy as it sounds,” Cael says from beside me and I level him with a stern glare.
“Terra, it might be the only shot at us getting a read on this thing. If you can latch onto it, we might be able to sense it through you.”
I press my lips together, mulling over his words. It makes sense I guess. But it doesn’t make what I’m about to do any easier.
Another crack of thunder rumbles in the sky and the ground quakes beneath us.
“This isn’t good,” Cael says. “What do you feel, Terra?”
“Apart from terrified?” Sarcasm drips from my words. “It’s here. I can feel it lingering beyond the perimeter looking for a way in. Is that you guys? Are you keeping it out?”
“It’s a protection spell of sorts. Violet—”
“She’s doing this?”
“Do you trust us?” Endo’s voice booms and I meet his fiery gaze. He’s all business now.
I nod, and he balls his hand. In a flash of red, Endo drops to the ground on one knee and slams his fist into the dirt. Fire explodes out from the fracture line and shoots off toward the edge of the clearing and past the trees.
“What the hell—” But I swallow the words as I’m knocked back by a surge of energy. “Oh my God,” I pant as a cloud of black mist forms in front of me.
“Are you guys seeing this?” My voice trembles.
Cael moves closer, sliding his hand into mine, and I feel his strength pour into me. “You’ve got this, Terra. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.”
Easy for him to say. He’s not the one staring into the face of pure evil. Except, it has no face. It’s a ball of energy. Dark, angry energy. Distorting and stretching, it starts to separate, twisting into long fingers and they have one target in their sights.
Me.
I plant my feet firm, clasping Cael’s hand until I’m sure I’ve stopped the circulation. They can’t see it. If they could they would be telling me to run. To get the hell out of here.
“Just one thread, Terra.” I hear his words but I can’t respond, too terrified to move. “We just need you to latch onto one thread.”
The translucent black finger is right in front of me now. My heart is beating so hard I can barely catch my breath. Cael squeezes my hand, letting me know he’s right there. Sucking in a sharp breath, I close my eyes and without giving it another thought, I wait.
It’s cool at first as it ghosts over my skin. I’m frozen to the spot as I try to mentally pluck a thread of the energy, holding on with all my might. But my body begins to tremble.
“Is she—”
“Holy shit…”
“She’s glowing.”
I hear the guys words, but I can’t respond. I can’t move. The black mist has me incapacitated as it searches for… what, I’m not sure. But something about it feels familiar, a lingering thought I can’t quite grasp.
“Who are you?” I whisper.
And then my world fades.
“W- what happened?”
“You short-circuited again.”
“I did?” I sit up, rubbing my head. There’s a dull thud in my skull and my mouth is drier than the Sahara.
“Here.” Sol hands me a glass of water and I gulp it down greedily.
“Did it work?”
My memory is hazy, reminiscent of a bad dream, but I can remember the clearing. The storm. The sickening stench of death, decay, and darkness.
“We think so. Ross, Cael, and Endo, are following the trace right now.”
“They are?”
“I brought you back here.” Sol takes the glass from me and deposits it on the nightstand. “You should get some rest.” He stands, his intense gaze cutting me to the bone before he heads for the door.
His plan worked, and yet, he seems so… defeated.
It doesn’t make sense.
And then I remember. We argued. I might have zapped him. Right before Endo set the ground on fire and punched a hole in the magic keeping the darkness out of the clearing.
“Sol, wait...” My voice cracks, mirroring the fracture in my heart at watching him walk away from me.
His hand lingers on the door handle as he breathes out, “
What, Terra? What do you want?” He doesn’t meet my gaze. Even when I climb off the bed and approach him, he still doesn’t look at me.
“You made a vow. I saw it, as clear as day. You sacrificed everything for her. To protect Earth. To exact Gaia’s will. But I need you too, I need—”
He whirls around taking the air with him. “You have me, Terra. My strength. My protection. My allegiance. You have it all.”
My eyes search his. They’re cool. Unforgiving. He’s trying to push me out and I still don’t know why. It can’t be over our silly argument earlier. We’ve never seen eye-to-eye. But I don’t need Sol to coddle me. I need him to challenge me. To push me and test me. There must be more to it—things he doesn’t want me to know. Things I don’t yet understand.
“It’s better you don’t,” he grinds out. “You need to be focused on what’s coming. This—us—it will only confuse things. You need to let us do our job the best way we know how.”
“But Cael and Endo...”
He flinches, his face a mask of regret, and I swallow the words.
“They’re different. But what happened between us,” he gulps, the words raw with desire. He feels it. I know he does. And I’m tired of ignoring it. Of pretending it isn’t there. Because I need him. I need all of them. To lift me when I’m weak. To guide me when I’m in the dark. But more than that, I need them to stand at my side for when whatever the Oracle foresaw finally reveals itself.
Sol’s eyes flash and I know he can hear everything I’m thinking. I hold his dark gaze, waiting for him to make a choice. With Cael and Endo, it’s different. They don’t need to be in control the way Sol does. It’s in their nature to want to protect me, yes, but they let me in. Even Ross in his own way offers me a piece of himself.
With them, it’s always about me.
Right now, though, it’s about the guarded, unreachable warrior in front of me.
Without thinking, I reach out, sliding my palm against his cheek. He doesn’t move. I’m not even sure he’s breathing until Sol lowers his face and I feel the warmth of his breath dance over my face.
“It’s okay to let me in, Sol. It’s okay.” Pushing up on my tiptoes, my lips touch his, feather-light at first. He’s as still as a statue which is better than I could have hoped for. Taking advantage of the moment, I run my tongue along the seam of his mouth. His lips part enough for me to slip my tongue inside and kiss him properly. The way I want him to kiss me. With quiet desperation and yearning.
My hands press against his chest and I steady myself as I deepen the kiss. But then I realize he isn’t with me. He’s too still, too rigid.
He’s barely breathing.
A man on the precipice of snapping.
“Sol?”
He breaks the kiss and leans down, touching his head to mine; his mouth hovering so close to my mouth I can almost taste him. But he doesn’t kiss me. He doesn’t do anything.
And my heart withers in my chest cavity, along with the seed of hope that he’s finally going to let me in.
“You need to understand, Terra. What happened between us,” he repeats—but I’m so aware of his lips, of his overwhelming strength, that I barely hear his words—“Won’t ever happen again.”
My eyes widen to saucers and I gasp. I seethe at him. “Get out. Get out right now.” But he’s already yanking open the door.
“It would be my pleasure, your Grace.” He half bows, and I grab the first thing I can lay my hands on and throw it in his direction but he’s already out of the door. The pillow rebounds off the frame and lands with a soft thud.
I stagger back, dropping onto the bed in a defeated heap. Pain twists around my heart, making it hard to breathe.
He rejected me.
Sol rejected me.
But worse than that, he made what we did sound so wrong... so dirty. As if the very idea of touching me again sickens him.
“Terra, open the door.”
“Go away, Cael.” I hug my pillow tighter hoping he’ll take the hint and leave. When he knocks again, I’m hardly surprised. I know how things work with them by now. They say they’re trying to give me space, to come to terms with everything, but when it comes down to it, they’ll push and push, refusing to let me shoulder this burden alone.
And deep down, I’m okay with that.
With a heavy sigh, I climb off the bed and go to unlatch my door. As it swings open the words, “I’m fine,” fall from my lips.
“Kitten, you’re not fine.” His eyes soften as he peers up at me through the blond strands falling over his face.
“Not right now,” I concede. “But I will be. I just need some time. You should go.” My fingers curl around the door ready to force him back out into the hall. “Before someone sees you.”
Guilt flashes over his face and I groan, “Don’t tell me someone already—”
“Claire, I think her name is?” His brows dance. “She was... interesting.”
“Did you tell her you were coming to see me?”
“I didn’t want to lie, and she was so helpful.”
I bet she was. I feel a burst of jealousy in my chest and Cael chuckles. “Kitten has claws.”
“Cael,” I warn. “This isn’t funny. She’ll tell Mischa and Amalia, and Jesse will find out and before I know it everyone will know, and they already think—”
“Think what?” He frowns.
“It doesn’t matter.” I lock away the thoughts. “But you can’t be here, in my room. In my girls only dorm room.”
“I’ve been in your room before.” He shrugs. “Besides, it’s college, Terra. It's hardly federal prison. They probably just think I’m your boyfriend sneaking in. People do it all the time.”
“And you’d be okay with that?”
Cael steps closer, forcing me back into my room. My hand remains on the door, but he pries my fingers free, shutting it behind him. “It doesn’t really matter what I’d be okay with. The question is would you be okay with it?”
“I—”
He captures my chin between his fingers, tilting my face to his and seals his mouth over mine. I curl my fingers into his sweater, torn between pulling him closer and pushing him away. Cael kisses me until I can’t breathe. Until the rise and fall of my chest quickens and I have to break away just to drag air into my lungs.
“Better?”
“You were trying to distract me,” I say breathlessly.
His mouth curves in a wicked smile. “Did it work?”
“Maybe.”
“If it’s any consolation, he’s sorry for being a dick.”
“Who?” I play dumb unsure how to feel about the fact that Cael is here to fight Sol’s battles. When it should be Sol here trying to fix his mess.
“I get it, you don’t want to talk about him. I don’t particularly either. Not when we could be doing much more exciting things.” His eyes twinkle mischief and something that looks a lot like desire. “Sol is…” Cael pauses, probably searching for the right word. But I have plenty at my disposal.
“A complete jerk?”
“Complicated.” Something flashes across his face.
I pull away from Cael and wrap my arms around my chest. “Why does he hate me? I saw him, in my dreams. He respects Gaia so much, I saw it in his eyes. But with me… it’s like he can barely stand to be around me.”
Running a hand through his hair, Cael lets out a long sigh. “He’s stubborn to a fault. Something the two of you have in common.” He gives me a sad look that tugs at my heartstrings. “None of us wanted this, Terra. When Gaia told us what she planned to do… well, it wasn’t an option for us. For you to sacrifice yourself to come here. That’s our job. Our duty. And you—I mean she—took that away from us. It hurt us deeply. All of us. But none more than Sol. Don’t tell him I said this, but he’s always been the leader; we’ve always looked to him for guidance.”
“He…” I whisper unsure I want to say the words. “He made me feel cheap, Cael. I gave him a part of myself and he threw
it back in my face like I’m some… whore.” The word almost chokes me.
Cael rushes over to me, wrapping me into his arms. “He said that? Wait until I see him, I’ll beat his sorry ass all over campus.”
I peek up at him and manage a weak smile. “I would never ask that of you. You’re brothers.” I wince at the word.
Not in blood, maybe, but in every other sense of the word they are.
“Nothing about this is wrong. Not one single thing. Our connection, the bond we share, it supersedes everything, Terra. Every damn thing.”
I want so much to believe him, but the little voice of doubt is persistent, whispering words of caution.
“He knew, you know. Sol knew that when you fell from Elysia and were reborn human it would change things. He tried to warn us, but we were all so desperate to find you we didn’t really listen. And then you arrived and bam, it was like I felt your energy and knew.”
“Knew?”
“That you’re ours.” He pulls me closer, tucking me under his chin.
“Because I have Gaia’s power inside me?”
“That’s part of it but it’s so much more.” Cael eases back, gazing down at me. “It’s you. Your spirit and strength and humility. Gaia will always have my devotion. My honor and respect. But you, Terra Materson, you have my heart.” He leans down, brushing his lips over mine. Once. Twice. Until I slide my hands over his shoulders and anchor us together, kissing him with everything that I am.
The Spirit of his Queen.
The nineteen-year-old girl he buys coffee for and teases and calls Kitten.
“Let me show you,” he murmurs against my lips. “Let me show you what you mean to me.”
I blink at him paralyzed, our mouths still touching but not moving. He smiles. “We’ll take things slow, I promise. I just want to feel you. To touch you. Would you bestow me that honor?”
My tummy clenches at his words, a delicious sensation rippling through me. But I’m rendered speechless by his declaration, the potential consequences if I let my heart lead instead of my head.
“Terra.” He kisses the corner of my mouth, tracing his lips down the column of my neck and I let out a contented sigh. “Tell me you want this. Tell me for once, you’re going to listen to that heart of yours.”