Ride On

by Stephen J. Martin

  Out came the phone again.

  ‘I’m calling Mikey Pat to look in on him. He only lives a couple of miles down the road. At least we’ll know then that he’s safe before we go down there and kick the bollocks off him.’

  ‘Is it snowing in Cork too? Did you check?’

  ‘Started two hours ago. Hang on …’

  When he was done he put the phone back in his pocket.

  ‘Mikey’s up in Charleville. It’ll take a few hours now with the weather to get home, but he said he’ll drop in to Granny’s on his way past.’

  ‘Okay. Well, there’s nothing else we can do now, is there?’

  ‘Not really,’ said Norman. ‘Except go home. Because getting out of the city is going to be murder if we don’t go now.’

  ‘Yeah. Okay,’ said Jimmy. ‘You’re probably right. I’ll call Shiggy and Sparky and tell them we’ll lock up here and we’ll call them tomorrow. I’ll tell them what’s going on. And I’ll cancel with Leet for the morning too until we sort this out. That okay with you Dónal?’

  Dónal wasn’t listening.

  ‘Dónal?’

  ‘Hmm?’ said Dónal.

  He was looking down at himself and rubbing one hand up and down his belly.

  ‘Fuck sake, Dónal,’ said Jimmy. ‘I never said you were fat!’

  *

  Norman called Jimmy at home at around eight that night.

  ‘Jimmy?’

  ‘Heya. What’s the story? Is Aesop okay?’

  ‘Listen man, Mikey Pat got stranded in Kanturk. He’s staying in a mate’s tonight. The roads are shocking he said and he can’t get home. He probably went a bit further than he should have as it is.’

  ‘Bollocks.’

  ‘Yeah. He said he’d try in the morning. It’s meant to clear up a bit by then he’ll give me a call when he gets there.’

  ‘Okay. Well, fuck, there’s nothing we can do, is there?’

  ‘No. Not really. We just have to wait. But at least Aesop’ll have to stay put wherever he is. He won’t be able to get about either.’

  ‘Yeah. All right. Well look, I’ll be up early. Just call me when you hear from Mikey.’

  ‘Will do man. Seeya tomorrow.’

  ‘Good luck. Eh … Norman?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Any word from Trish?’

  ‘I haven’t talked to her.’

  ‘Right. Listen, give her a bell.’

  ‘Ah, I don’t know …’

  ‘Norman, I know what I’m talking about. Believe me, I’ve spent enough of me life staring at a phone and not picking it up. Just call her. Right? You two are good together. You’ll sort this out.’

  ‘Yeah. Well thanks Jimmy. I’ll think about it.’

  ‘Okay. Seeya so.’

  ‘Cheers.’

  Norman had been thinking about little else. Now that they had a good idea of what had happened to Aesop, all he could do was curse himself and the fucked-up bit of him that made him lose all reason. It had probably always been there. Losing his Dad and then moving to Dublin hadn’t exactly been a barrel of laughs. Putting up with being called names over his size and his accent almost from the day he’d arrived in the city had made him liable to get angry the odd time, but then he’d become a soldier and the next ten years had seen what used to be a fringe part of his make-up become honed and sharp. It had probably saved his life a few times back then, but it was nothing but a fucking awful hindrance back in the real world where everyone lived their lives by different rules.

  Jealousy was a new aspect of it. He’d never really been in a position to be jealous before. It’s not like he’d had loads of girlfriends. But Norman recognised it as all being part of the same thing. Mollified by a few pints, surrounded by friends, occupied by his job or immersed in the daily goings-on of his life, no one would have suspected it. But inside him was a tight red coal of anger. Always. It never went away. The day he stepped off the plane after coming home from Afghanistan he thought that would be the end of it. He’d seen enough of what feeling like that could do to people and he was sure he’d made some kind of peace. But he’d had dreams that very night and it was still there the next day, only worse.

  Only Trish had cooled it. Those times when there was nothing in his head only her and how lucky he was. He couldn’t feel it then.

  He called her. It took half an hour to push the button, but he did it.

  ‘Trish?’

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘It’s Norman.’

  ‘Yeah. I know.’

  ‘You got home okay? The snow started soon after you left.’

  ‘Yeah. The buses were still running then. Did you find Aesop?’

  ‘No. Well, he’s in Cork, so we kind of found him, yeah. But we haven’t talked to him yet. I’m going to head down tomorrow. So you’re okay?’

  ‘Not really. But I’m not stuck out in the snow, if that’s what you mean.’

  ‘Well that’s good.’

  ‘What did you want?’

  ‘Only … to say that I’m sorry, Trish. I’m a bloody idiot for thinking what I did. I don’t deserve a chance, but I’m hoping you’ll give me one.’

  ‘Do you know how much you hurt me?’

  ‘I can guess. If it’s anything like how I feel right now then I should be shot.’

  ‘I’d never do that, what you were thinking. Never. I never have. I was with you, not Aesop or anyone else.’

  ‘I know. I’m sorry. Trish, I’m not good at this. I’ve never felt like this about anyone, and when I thought … I just went mad. It’s stupid, but I couldn’t help it. I just went mad.’

  ‘But I can’t deal with that, Norman.’

  ‘It’ll never happen again. I swear to God it won’t.’

  ‘Will it not? Not even when I’m out with mates or working late? If I’m just talking to a guy in the pub. Or even if Aesop’s around and we’re all having a laugh? I can’t always be worrying about what’s going on in your mind, Norman. Trying to make sure I don’t upset you.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘There’s meant to be trust. Respect.’

  ‘I know that.’

  She didn’t say anything for a while.

  ‘Trish?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Just checking you’re still there.’

  ‘I’m here.’

  ‘Can I come over?’

  Silence again.

  ‘Please?’

  ‘Norman no. Not tonight. Look, I’ve had a bloody long couple of days. I’m wrecked.’

  ‘Okay. Well … can I see you tomorrow?’

  He heard her sigh.

  ‘Norman, I’m not sure that …’

  ‘Trish, I fucked up. I know that. It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.’

  ‘But you’re going to Cork tomorrow.’

  ‘I’ll … fuck. Yeah. I have to. I have to get that bloody fool Aesop. Christ, that man needs the hiding of a lifetime.’

  ‘Okay, listen. Call me in the morning okay? I need to get the car down to Dad anyway. His other one is on the blink. He said he didn’t need it, but I know him. He’ll have Mam tormented if he’s stuck in the house. I’ll drive you down to Cork and head on to Sneem. We can talk on the way. The weather here says the roads should be better by tomorrow. In the afternoon anyway. How did Aesop get down there?’

  ‘I think he flew.’

  ‘Right. Well I s’pose you’ll have to fly back with him. I’ll get the six o’clock back up from Killarney on Monday morning for work.’

  ‘Okay. Okay, that’s great. Thanks Trish.’

  ‘We’ll talk in the morning okay?’

  ‘Yeah. But thanks for even …’

  ‘Shush. Norman?

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘You told me you loved me today.’

  ‘I did.’

  ‘Do you?’

  ‘I do.’

  ‘Say it again.’

  He swallowed.

  ‘I love you.’

  ‘Do you really?’
>
  ‘Yeah. I do. Really.’

  ‘Because if you ever do that to me again …’

  ‘I won’t. Jesus Christ, I never will. I swear to God. I’d cut my throat first.’

  ‘Okay. You need to work on your imagery, Norman. You’ve already had your throat cut and been shot so far in this conversation. And Aesop’s getting a hiding.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘And me here trying to convince myself you’re not deranged.’

  ‘Eh … well …’

  ‘I’m joking, Norman. Look, call me tomorrow, okay?’

  ‘As soon as I’m up.’

  ‘Bye.’

  ‘Seeya.’

  ‘Norman?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Tell me again.’

  ‘I love you, Trish.’

  ‘Good,’ she said.

  And then she was gone.

  Norman fell back onto his bed, every nerve in his body tingling. He made a mental note to buy Jimmy a barrel of porter for telling him he should call her. Who’d have thought it? That a conversation between him and a girl could actually make a shite situation better?

  He lay there, just watching the snow fly past his window.

  *

  Norman went to Mass with his Mam at half eight the next morning. He rarely actually went into the church with her these days, but this morning he had a lot to be thankful for. Trish had called to say that she’d be over at about twelve and they could head down to Cork then.

  Back in the house from the church, Norman put on the kettle as his Mam started preparing the dinner.

  ‘Will you be here for dinner?’

  ‘No Mam. I’m heading back down to Cork to pick Aesop up.’

  ‘What? In this weather?’

  ‘Sure the worst of it is over now. There’ll be no more snow now till later in the week, they’re saying.’

  ‘What’s he doing down there? And can he not pick himself up?’

  ‘Ah … he just went down to see a girl. I said I’d pick him up.’

  He didn’t know if she was biting all this, but she just shrugged and turned back to the cabbage she was stripping.

  ‘A girl?’ she said, over her shoulder.

  ‘Eh … yeah.’

  ‘Anyone we know?’

  ‘Not … sure.’

  ‘Robert, what kind of an eejit do you think I am? Didn’t I have Bridie on the phone to me yesterday. I know all about himself and Helen.’

  ‘Oh. Well, I didn’t want you to get all … y’know …’

  ‘She’s a big girl. She can do what she wants.’

  ‘Yeah. Well, apparently she isn’t interested in Aesop.’

  ‘Good for her.’

  ‘I think she’s going back with that Molloy young fella.’

  ‘Molloy,’ said his Mam. ‘God. All belonging to that crowd are mad for drink.’

  ‘Well he’s off it now, he says.’

  ‘And he better stay off it. Because if Mikey Pat hears he’s acting the maggot again, there’ll be trouble.’

  ‘Yeah. Anyway, I’m going to collect Aesop. I’ll probably be back tonight, assuming the weather holds.’

  ‘Grand so. Well be careful.’

  ‘I will of course. Listen … Mam …’

  ‘Yes love?’

  ‘Eh … I’ve been meaning to tell you something.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Well, it’s just that I’ve … I’ve been kind of seeing a girl.’

  She stopped what she was doing and turned around to him.

  ‘Have you now?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  Norman had his hands in his pockets in case they started shaking on him.

  ‘What girl?’

  ‘Ah, a girl I met in work. A nurse. She’s lovely Mam.’

  ‘Really? Lovely, is it?’

  ‘Yeah. She’s great. Anyway, I’ve been seeing her now for a good while, and I’d like you to meet her.’

  ‘That sounds very serious.’

  ‘Ah no … well, maybe a little bit. We, eh, we … we’re getting on grand. She’s coming down to Cork with me this afternoon. She’s picking me up here, so you can meet her then.’

  ‘You’re bringing her to Cork? Again? God, it must serious, so.’

  ‘Well, she has to go down anyway, so she’ll drop me off at Granny’s and then … eh … what?’

  ‘Hmm?’

  ‘What do you mean “again”?’

  His Mam laughed.

  ‘What do you take me for, you gom? Don’t I know you were down there with her a couple of weeks ago.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Yes! You think your oul’ Mam’s gone soft? Robert, there’s nothing goes on down there that I don’t hear about.’

  ‘Bridie told you?’

  ‘Bridie. And a few others. Sure I’ve known about that little trip you took for ages. But you weren’t exactly showing her off, were you? Cooped up in the house the whole weekend, so you were.’

  Norman was crimson.

  ‘Well, the weather wasn’t great, so …’

  ‘Ah, I don’t want to hear all that. So you like her then?’

  ‘Yeah. I do. A lot.’

  ‘Good.’

  She smiled at him and turned back to the counter.

  ‘So do I.’

  ‘You … what?’

  ‘I like her too.’

  ‘Wha … I mean … how do you …’

  ‘Bridie isn’t the only one I’ve been talking to, you know. Didn’t your new girlfriend call here herself? I was bit surprised, I have to say, given that my son doesn’t tell me a thing these days, but she seemed like a very nice girl. She was looking for you and we ended up having a great chat. Sure at that stage I already knew her name anyway from Bridie, so it was nice to talk to her finally. I’d be a long time waiting for you to introduce me. Patricia, isn’t it?’

  Norman laughed.

  ‘Yeah. Trish. She never mentioned it.’

  ‘Sure why would she? We were just a couple of girls having an oul’ chinwag.’

  ‘What did you talk about?’

  ‘Don’t you mind. Two can play at that game, Robert. Hand me up the sieve there.’

  Norman bent down to get it out of the press.

  ‘God. Well anyway, she’ll be here soon, so you can put a face to the name.’

  ‘I’ll look forward to that so. What time is she coming?’

  ‘About twelve.’

  She looked at the clock over the table.

  ‘Grand. Well can you finish this then, and I’ll go up and give meself a touch-up.’

  ‘You don’t have to Ma. You look grand.’

  ‘You just put that cabbage on and get started on the carrots. You think I’m going to meet this girl in an apron?’

  ‘No, but …’

  She was disappearing up the stairs now.

  ‘We want to make a good impression, don’t we? God knows, it’s not like they’ve been banging down the door all these years …’

  That was for fucking sure, thought Norman, smiling and picking up a carrot. And where was this version of his Mam all through his youth? There might have been a few more knocks on the door if it wasn’t for her putting the fear of God into everyone he ever brought into the house.

  An hour later, Norman’s phone rang. When he hung up, he turned to his Mam. He was all nervous now.

  ‘Okay, that was Trish. She’s at the roundabout and just checking where the house is. She’ll be here in five minutes.’

  ‘Grand so. Put the kettle on there.’

  He started fidgeting around the kitchen, folding the J-cloth and checking to see that there was enough milk for a cup of tea.

  ‘Will you ever relax, Robert? God, you do like her don’t you?’

  ‘Yeah, Mam.’

  ‘Well stop fussing or she’ll think there’s a want in you.’

  ‘I know. I’m grand.’

  She smiled at him from the kitchen table.

  ‘Actually, she’s not what I would ha
ve expected for you. Nice and all as she is, like.’

  ‘How’s that?’

  ‘Well. God, I wasn’t expecting her to have the accent and all. I know what you’re like.’

  ‘Ah Mam, she’s not one of those Kerrywomen. She doesn’t even like football.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘Ah, her brothers were mad footballers at home in Sneem. Put her off completely when she was small. She can’t watch it at all now, only big games.’

  ‘Sneem? What do you mean, Robert?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Sure, isn’t the girl English?’

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  ‘In the name of God, Norman, will you slow down?’ said Trish.

  ‘I’m under the limit.’

  ‘But look at the roads! We won’t get as far as the M50 at the rate you’re going, never mind Cork.’

  ‘Will you try Jimmy again?’

  ‘Yeah. Hang on …’

  She handed him the phone when he answered.

  ‘Jimmy?’

  ‘Yeah Norman. Sorry man. In the shower. What’s up?’

  ‘Listen Jimmy, it was Amanda.’

  ‘What? What are you on about?’

  ‘Amanda. The English girl. She’s the one that’s been after Aesop. And she’s either in Cork now, or else she’s on the way there.’

  ‘What? Norman, what are you bleedin’ talking about?’

  ‘She called my Mam. Pretended she was Trish. Found out about the cottage in Cork. She must be gone to find him.’

  ‘Wha … what’ll we do? Jesus. What … where are you?’

  ‘I’m on the road. We’ll be there in a couple of hours. Mikey’s on the way there too. He left Kanturk and he’ll be there in half an hour.’

  ‘Fuck. What about the coppers?’

  ‘Mikey’s going to sort that out when he checks the house.’

  ‘Jesus. How … how did you find all this out?’

  ‘I’m telling you. Amanda called my Mam. Mam thought it was Trish and they started talking. She must have been following us or something. Or maybe your Susan bird in London was telling her what we’re up to. Who I am and everything.’

  ‘But … man, Amanda was lovely. She was a bit upset over that bloke, but she never came across as some kind of … y’know …’

  ‘You can’t tell with some people, Jimmy. Look I have to go. It’s hard enough this morning without trying to drive with one hand.’

  ‘Yeah. Yeah. But … but Norman, listen. It can’t be her.’