by Nina Walker
“The pain is on purpose. Someone is hurting me.”
What was she talking about? If someone was hurting her, I needed to know who it was.
“I can’t remember. I can never remember anything.”
“Who’s hurting you?” I asked. Urging her to have a moment of clarity. Please, Mom, don’t go silent on me now.
But her face cleared again, and she peered up at me. The moment was lost. Those few words clung to me: on purpose. They changed everything. This wasn’t just about chronic migraines. Was something darker going on? Of course, I had failed to see it all these years. Someone was causing her pain, stealing her away. It had to be alchemy. How else could it be done? But the bigger question wasn’t what was happening, it was who was doing it, and why? Jasmine was with her often, but so were other healers. My father, Faulk, and a few of the royal officers saw her daily. Plenty of people were around her. She was Queen Natasha after all. So why would someone want to ruin her mind?
I wasn’t sure exactly why this was happening, but I was sure someone was hurting her, using her. I would have to be more observant than ever. Just as I left the room, she called out to me in an even voice, “Be careful, Lucas.”
7
Jessa
By the time Eliza delivered the slatebook, I’d learned something new about myself. I was a seriously impatient person. I sat in my room, picking through my dinner halfheartedly, waiting hours until I finally had the brand new device in my hands. It was square and thin, but strong and smooth, made entirely of glass.
I couldn’t believe it was mine!
I turned it on, pleased by how easily I could navigate through the options. I found the telephone icon with no problem but decided on the video chat instead. Just as I was about to call home, I paused to reconsider.
What would they think of me, their daughter, the alchemist?
I wrung my hands out, then sat on them to stop myself. Would they even want to see me? I could only imagine their disappointment when they’d learned the truth. I wasn’t the person they thought I was.
By now, they’d probably figured out that I’d been the one to tamper with Lacey’s blood. Was she still okay? I remembered Officer Faulk’s nasty threats against my family. If I didn’t follow her rules, they would be the ones to face the consequences. It was possible they could lose their home, be relocated out of the capital city. They could end up in jobs they hated. Lacey might not have a good school anymore. Those thoughts terrified me. Despite my pride, I had to make sure they were safe.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I took a deep breath and made the call. The device was so advanced it had holographic capabilities, but I was happy to use the traditional video chat option. I studied myself in the shiny reflection of the screen while the phone rang. Even though I felt different, I looked the same. The same pale skin, the same large blue eyes, the same wavy mess of brown hair.
After what felt like ages, the shiny screen changed and my mother’s face materialized across the glass. Her equally curly hair was a disaster. Her dark eyes were swollen and red-rimmed.
Guilt swept over me, washed by the pain of utter homesickness. I wanted to cry too, but I resolved to hold it together. For her sake and my own.
“Jessa?” she asked. “Where are you? Are you hurt?”
My body tensed. Did she really have no idea? How could they have left my parents in the dark? It had been days.
“There have been royal officers standing outside our doors, but they won’t answer any of our questions. We didn’t know what to think.”
“I’m okay, Mom,” I said, my voice shaking. “I’m in the palace. I’m safe now.”
She sighed slightly before calling out, “Christopher! Lacey! It’s Jessa!”
My father and Lacey quickly appeared behind her. They peered over her shoulder, getting a better look at me.
“What happened, Jessa?” my Dad asked. “Are you all right?”
“She’s in the palace,” my mother said.
“Like a princess?” Lacey clapped.
Oh yeah, it’s definitely been princess treatment so far.
Lacey’s smile was a lifeline for me. It was the only thing keeping me from breaking down in front of my family. She was dressed in her favorite pair of pink pajamas, ready for bed. Her blond hair was dark, wet from the bath. She was tucked comfortably against Dad’s chest while he held her with one strong arm. The familiarity of that bedtime embrace nearly broke me.
Who am I kidding? I can’t hold this in anymore.
“I’m so sorry. I tried to stop it. I tried, but I wasn’t even sure about what was happening. I didn’t know what to do.”
“So it’s true, then?” Mom asked, her hopeful expression deflating.
“Why didn’t you tell us, honey?” Dad asked, puzzled.
I wiped at my tears. “I know I should have told you. But I was scared. I didn’t want to ruin everything. I didn’t want it to be real.”
I spent the next few minutes explaining what was going on. When I told them I wouldn’t be coming home for a while, my mother started to cry again. I couldn’t bring myself to let them in on the truth, that I’d likely never get to spend any significant amount of time with them again. I was lost to them.
“Come home, Jessa,” Lacey whimpered. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. I know it’s going to be hard, but somehow I am going to turn this whole thing around. Right now I have to be at the palace, but only so I can find a way to come home later.”
Was that true? I wasn’t sure. But it was the only plan I could hope for.
“You promise?”
I hesitated. Could I make her that promise? Her eyes, normally full of innocence, were filled with a grown-up sense of knowing.
I looked her straight on. “I promise.”
Mom and Dad exchanged a quick, almost imperceptible, glance. I had a feeling they’d already discussed this. I immediately detected doubt.
Do you know something I don’t? I bit my tongue. Maybe they just didn’t want me around anymore. They probably didn’t want to risk having an untrained color alchemist near Lacey. I didn’t blame them. As much as I wished it wasn’t true, I wasn’t safe.
Lacey fought back a sweet yawn as she rubbed her eyes with her small fists. She was too young to understand, but she was smart enough to know that something was wrong. She wanted to be treated like a grown-up, and that stung. All I wanted was for her to stay little and happy, like a six-year-old ought to be.
“We have to go, honey,” Dad said. “It’s past her bedtime.”
With Lacey still in his arms, he waved a quick goodbye and they disappeared. I could hear Lacey’s exhausted whine that she wasn’t tired in the background.
“Goodbye, dear. Always remember, we love you.” Mom stared, as if she wanted to say more. “You’re there, but we’re here. We can’t help you right now. You need to help yourself. Please, be smart. We love you more than you know.”
The screen went black.
“I love you, too,” I said to the empty screen, the empty room.
I’d missed my chance to schedule our next call. They hadn’t told me anything about what their lives were like now. Did they still have the same government-assigned jobs? Had Faulk done anything to punish them? Were they afraid for me? Afraid for themselves?
Maybe I was just being overly sensitive, but it felt like they’d already given up, already dismissed me from their lives. How could that be? I was their daughter. They loved me. I loved them.
So why did they act that way? Why did she say those things?
The brief call home wasn’t what I was expecting. Family was family. We would always have each other. My parents taught me that. They were my flesh and blood. Perhaps they weren’t ready to fight for me, but I was going to fight for them. I didn’t know how yet, but I would return home. I would keep my promise to Lacey. I would get my life back.
Sleep wouldn’t come easily. It was too early for me to be in bed. At home, I was always
the last one to go to bed and the first one to wake. Besides, the conversations of the day—earlier in the garden and recently with my parents—had been turning over and over in my mind.
I got up and slid open the door to the huge closet, filled with elegant clothing. I pulled on the simplest jacket I could find and headed for the door.
But when I tried to turn the knob, it didn’t budge. I had one of those surreal moments where something that should have been obvious to me became suddenly clear. Of course they had locked me up. Just because it didn’t look like the gray room from the prison didn’t mean I wasn’t a prisoner. The evidence was right in front of me.
Frustrated, I raised my hand to bang on the door, demanding to be let out. But before my fist reached the dark oak, it swung open and I nearly punched Prince Lucas in the face.
“Well, at least you didn’t use color alchemy this time to try and knock me out,” he said, catching my wrist with a swift hand.
He moved into the room, still holding onto me as he softly closed the door behind us.
“Can I help you?” I asked, flushed with embarrassment.
He laughed, seemingly taking pleasure in my discomfort.
The fact that he was amused only made the heat burn deeper in my cheeks. A large smile filled his face, reaching his steel-gray eyes. They darted from my face to my wrist, which he still held in his grasp. He ever so slightly caressed my skin with his warm thumb before letting go.
Did he mean to do that?
And then he winked.
Yes. Yes, he did.
So the stories were true. Lucas was rumored to be a huge flirt. Maybe he couldn’t help acting the part. Maybe he was so used to the effect he had on women that he saw me as just another ordinary girl who would succumb to his charms. But that wasn’t me. I needed to get back home to my family. The last thing I needed was some lame fling, even if he did get a rise out of me.
“Why am I locked in here? I thought you said I was a guest.”
“You were, and as far as I am concerned, you still are.”
“Explain the locked door then.”
“Faulk tattled. She got upset about your arrangements and told my father. He wanted us to come up with a compromise. It’s stupid. I’m sorry, but for now, you’ll only be able to move freely around the palace when you’re accompanied.”
“So, no alone time anywhere but here?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you here, Lucas?” I stood as tall as I could, looking him squarely in the eye. So what if he was famous, royal, and attractive?
“That’s a loaded question,” he said, holding my gaze.
The heat built between us, and I didn’t know how to respond. If I opened my mouth now, who knows what nonsense would come stumbling out? The silence stretched before he laughed again, breaking the tension.
Why is this happening? I don’t want to deal with this right now!
“Don’t worry, I don’t bite,” he said, before adding, “usually.”
I froze and he laughed again.
“If you’re just here to tease me, then you can go.”
“Oh, relax, Jessa. I was just coming to check on you. It’s been a depressing evening, hasn’t it? Were you wanting to go somewhere?”
“Yes, it has. And yes, I was. I have been cooped up in this room all afternoon. I want to go for a walk. Checking out where I am going to be staying wouldn’t be so bad. But I guess that’s off the table.”
“Sorry about that. You should consider yourself a student here. And even the students have rules. They’re mostly kept sequestered in their areas, too. In the GC wing.”
“Looks like I’m still a prisoner then.”
“You can leave your room if you’re with someone who is comfortable enough to spend time with you. Or if you don’t mind guards following you. Being such a dangerous alchemist, well, it limits your options. However, you’re in luck. I don’t scare easily.”
“Gee, thanks. But I don’t need a babysitter.”
“It’s not like that. Anyway, soon enough, you will become a guardian. You’ll be living with them and will have much more freedom to do what you want. But for now…” He turned and opened the door, pausing at the entrance. “Well? Are you coming?”
“You really want to take me for a walk?” Was he willing to spend time with me only because he felt sorry for me? Or because something in him felt the same way I did—drawn to the other despite better intentions? I wasn’t sure which answer bothered me more.
“Sure I do. Unless you don’t want to be seen with me?”
This huge palace was my home now. And however temporary it would be, I was dying to check it out. Before I could talk myself out of it, I summoned courage and followed him out of the room.
We strolled through the labyrinth of hallways as he pointed out different areas. Libraries, ballrooms, guest suites, and government departments were all located here. The palace was by far the largest building I’d ever been in. In fact, it was multiple buildings strung together. Even the theatre where the Royal Ballet was housed couldn’t hold a candle to this place.
The main building had three stories that stretched wide across acres of land. It was comprised of a delicate hodgepodge of old and new architecture. The original building was part of the old country’s capital building. I think it had been called the White House. But as New Colony grew, the royal family had leveled all of the surrounding buildings and new wings had been added to this property. The rest of those old buildings didn’t correspond to the new ways of thinking, so no one had really protested their removal. At least, I didn’t think they had. A small part of me was starting to question everything I’d been taught.
Some areas were built to match the old southern style, with tall ceilings, marble pillars, and beautiful oak trimmings. And some were built in the current modern way, with clean lines, white shining surfaces, and walls made entirely of glass.
Despite the clashing styles, none of it felt jarring. Actually, there was a delicate flow to the design that felt both regal and industrial. Somehow, it worked. I had to admit the palace was beautiful.
We approached another hallway. At the end, guards were posted by a padlocked door. A couple of men had their backs to us. They were let in without a fuss. They were dressed in the same black uniform Reed wore.
“Is this the Guardians of Color headquarters?”
“Yes, they have that whole wing.” Lucas cleared his throat. “But we’re not going in there tonight.”
Oh, thank you! I didn’t question him. It wasn’t a place I was ready to visit yet, anyway. Instead, we turned a few more corners and descended the stairs to the ground floor.
From the look of this palace, I may as well have been transported to a different country. But I knew it wasn’t the case. The thought kept popping into my head that we were still in the capital city. Which meant I really wasn’t that far from home. Only a twenty-minute ride on the high-speed train would put me a block from my suburban doorstep. It hurt to entertain even a glimmer of hope, but I held on tightly to the thought anyway.
As soon as the scent wafted through my nostrils, I knew.
“Let me guess. This is your favorite spot in the whole palace, right?”
He laughed. “You got me there.”
He opened the double doors, revealing a huge kitchen. Correction: kitchens. There were multiples of everything we had at home, plus lots of things we didn’t. Between all the diplomats, guardians, advisors, guests, and staff who inhabited the palace, there were probably several hundred people here at any given time.
It was late, so all the cooks had already retired for the day, leaving the entire space quiet.
“Why is this your favorite room in the palace?”
“The area where I live with my parents is pretty nice, no doubt. But I don’t like to hang out there too much. I spend my free time in my study, outside, or down here in the kitchen. I appreciate the ordinary things in life, and yes, the unlimited access to food is a n
ice perk. Besides, I like people. I like the workers. They’ve always been kind to me. I grew up knowing many of them.”
I wondered what that must have been like. I’d never considered that Lucas wasn’t close to his parents. But perhaps his life wasn’t as good I’d thought it was. Maybe he was lonely.
We went over to a row of large refrigerators. He opened one, with a sly smile on his face, as if he knew the contents would surprise me.
“You’re kidding?”
Lucas grinned and grabbed the largest piece of chocolate cake I had ever seen. He used his other hand to pull out a slice of cheesecake. “Aren’t you going to help yourself?”
It was amazing. Desserts, sweets, puddings, and delectable items I didn’t even recognize filled the fridge. I spotted carrot cake and moved in for a slice. I’d had it once at a ballet banquet, so I already knew how sweet it would taste. The memory of cream cheese frosting wetted my taste buds.
Lucas rummaged through a nearby cupboard and pulled out a handful of salted caramels twisted neatly in waxed paper.
“Oh, wow.” Any kind of sweet treat was a rarity in my life…in the lives of all of us beyond the palace gates. We were accustomed to having more than enough, but simplicity was the norm. Caramel was basically sugar, so it wasn’t too hard to make when we had some extra rations. But these certainly didn’t look like the ones we made at home. These were perfect.
As with everything in the palace, the food was presented very neatly. The plates were in clear containers to keep the desserts fresh and moist, ready to be served tomorrow. I stared down at the cakes in our hands and tried not to squeal with delight.
“It’s been a long time since I had anything like this.” Something about all this food felt naughty and exciting. And to be honest, an emotional eating session seemed appropriate after everything I’d been through.
“Well, that’s good because we’re going to share. Come on.”
We ended up back in the gardens, and even though I wanted to see the rest of the palace, I took solace in this area. The air was warm, and the sky still clung to the last bit of light. It was the perfect summer night, not too hot and not too cold.