by Liz Paffel
“Quixx.” She thought quickly of what to say that might bring some of the light back to his eyes. The tension rolling off him, the masked look in his eyes and his aura of battle-readiness unnerved her. This was her Quixx, but it wasn’t.
Silly thought. He wasn’t hers at all.
His chin rose by an increment. He looked down his nose at her. “If you choose to help him, I will regard you as an enemy.”
Her lips went numb. “You can’t be serious. Quixx, listen to me. Alora told me what happened the day your women were attacked. How you wish you’d disobeyed your King’s orders… how you blame yourself.” She moved to put her hand on his arm, but he pulled away.
“Do not touch me.”
Hurt flamed through her. The rejection quickly rolled into anger. “Who are you angrier at, Quixx? The Nozing or yourself? Maybe you want him dead so you can feel better about what you didn’t do to stop the attack.”
Her legs wobble. Had she really just said that? It had flown from her mouth without any thought. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
If her words, any of them, affected him at all, he didn’t show it. If anything, he became stonier, like a cement gargoyle hiding inside layers of hard shell. He was containing his emotions from her, showing her that her sharp words did not affect him. But they affected her. She didn’t mean to make him hurt more than he already had.
“Do you want to know why I stopped being a doctor?”
He blinked.
Priya crossed her arms and hugged herself, feeling suddenly weak and chilled. “I made a mistake. A big one. A patient died because of it. I took advice from a mentor instead of going with my gut and the advice was wrong… it had fatal consequences. Of course, when the time came to be questioned, my mentor denied ever guiding me. Blamed me completely, which, he should anyway. The choice to take his advice had been mine alone. I was put on probation, which means I was prevented from practicing medicine for six months. Instead of using that time for learning and growing and self-reflection, I just gave up. The man I was going to marry--also a doctor-- was so embarrassed by what had happened that he left me. Everyone makes choices. Sometimes, they haunt us. If I allow this patient to die without trying to save him, it will haunt me for the rest of my life.”
Silence hung between them, the urgency to get a glimpse of the Quixx from yesterday back growing stronger. He didn’t flinch.
“Jesus, Quixx. Say something.”
“If you choose to help the prisoner, you are dead to me.”
His words floored her. How could he… didn’t he care, even a little? Not even about her? He didn’t agree with the decision she was making, or the possible outcome. So, he was walking away. Not like she hadn’t been here before. There was nothing substantial between them, so why did this hurt? Why did this feel like he’d stepped on her and ground her into nothing beneath his boot? He was acting like they’d never had amazing sex with a brilliant connection.
No, they had nothing between them. With a tight grin, she shrugged dismissively. “You didn’t want me anyway, remember? Not for more than a little pet worth a couple hours of fun. Go on, Quixx. Get the girl. I’ll be praying for her and all she’s got coming trying to deal with you.”
A chill seemed to claim the room. Shivering hard, Priya realized he wasn’t going to respond. She turned away to begin assembling things she’d need to help the Nozing. Her abdomen pulled tightly, as if she had a charlie horse starting in such an unusual place, as her skin lit with goosebumps from the increasing chill. Movement beside her made her glance to the side. Quixx’s warmth washed over her. It was soothing and delicious and she wanted to sink into it.
She had the urge to cry. And throw up. And sleep. Her emotions were all over the place.
“Queen Alora is leaving the compound immediately. She is unwell and needs medical care from our team on Axxeon 9. The King says you may see her if you go quickly.”
“Why did no one tell me sooner? Yes, I need to see her!”
“You will be able to contact Queen Alora with this.” He thrust one of the comlet bands at her. “It has been programmed to reach the base station. However, the signal may not always be strong. Once Axxeon 9 leaves Earth’s atmosphere, it will no longer work.”
She turned and searched his face. So strong. So handsome. Longing bubbled in her soul. Reaching for him, Priya paused and let her hand drop.
“Thank you.”
“I must go. You may use the comlet to contact Altari in the Command room. He will escort you back to the city when you are finished here. Take whatever supplies you need. You have twenty-four hours to evacuate the compound.”
She swallowed hard and took the comlet. “So… that’s it then?”
“You wish to return to the city, and you are helping the prisoner despite my command not to. I have already dismissed you from my memory.” Something flickered in his eyes. Something that gave her a sense of hope she has no business feeling. It died quickly, his expression hard as ever as he turned and strode to the door.
He didn’t pause. He didn’t look back.
He left.
With a final check of her patients and finding them both still resting, Priya raced to Alora’s quarters. She too was resting, put into a deep sleep by Yawnlit to keep stress off her heart while she traveled to Axxeon 9. Priya sat beside her friend and took her hand, glad she was asleep.
She didn’t want her last memory of their friendship to include the frantic, uncontrolled tears that wouldn’t stop rolling down Priya’s cheeks as she rested her head on the blankets beside Alora and cried.
Chapter Fifteen
Priya shut down her grief after leaving Alora’s room.
She hadn’t felt like this when her fiancé Kent had broken off their engagement after her fuck up. She’d never felt even close to this when it was time to kick her flavor of the day out of bed in the morning. The sensation that her insides were simultaneously blowing up and crumbling was nothing she’d ever experienced before. It was suffocating. It was painful. It was devastating and it took every ounce of willpower not to run after Quixx.
No way in hell was she running after him or any other man who condoned letting a sick or injured being simply die. She could never make up for the patient she’d lost, but she could try and help this one. Nozing anatomy couldn’t be that hard to figure out. She hoped.
She stared at the Nozing.
She had to make room for his wings. She had to do it to save his life, but maybe to also save her own ego. For so long now, she’d been beating herself up over what happened in her past and rightly so. But it was time to let go. If she had to be honest with herself, she had never been happy working in the laboratory. She missed being in the operating room and using the knowledge and skills she’d worked so hard for. Fear of making further mistakes had held her back for so long. Combined with the rejection of the one man who’d professed to love her, she’d sunk into a dark place. He’d only loved her while things were going well. Eventually, she would have done something to make Kent leave.
She hadn’t done anything to turn Quixx against her except vow to help someone live. That was her job. That was her nature.
Turning to the containment chamber, she took a few moments to compose herself. The operating table and equipment she had assembled should do the job. Some of the instruments were odd looking but had enough similarities that she could assume their uses. The only thing she couldn’t find was suitable anesthesia. There was anesthetic she could inject into his skin, but if his biology was at all similar to human, it would only numb the surface and do nothing for the deeper tissues.
Priya tapped on the glass. “Hey. I’m going to help you. Can you get up?”
The Nozing twitched.
“I’m going to open the door. I need your word that you won’t harm anyone. If you do, I won’t help you and your wings will never be free.”
Tightness squeezed her abdomen, harder than before. Nearly doubling over, Priya put a hand there and presse
d. Nerves, probably, over what she was about to do. That, or the heavy sadness sitting on her shoulders had worked its way down.
She pressed a code into the control panel next to the door. Yawnlit had given it to her this morning, just in case. The door whooshed open, removing the barrier between herself and an alien with a violent and bloody past.
She’d better be doing the right thing. What if Quixx was right? Just then, movement outside the main door drew her attention. Three Axxeon warriors, fully armed, stood outside looking in. She breathed with relief. Quixx must have ordered them to stand guard. Not so much for her safety, she thought with a pang, but for the safety of everyone else inside the compound. She waited, half expecting the warriors to come inside and stop her.
When they didn’t, she crossed the threshold of the containment room and took a steadying breath. The air seemed to pressurize and squeeze around her in a brief flash before an overhead roar and rumble shook the ceiling. After a few seconds, it was gone. The sound reminded her of an airplane taking off.
Alora.
Tears burned the backs of her eyes. The transport ship was gone, her dear friend inside, headed for a base station that would take her far into space. As soon as Quixx returned from his mission, he would go there, too. She wouldn’t see either of them again.
“Goodbye, Alora.” A tear fell as she whispered to herself.
Why was she so teary-eyed all of a sudden? She had to get her composure. “Okay, I know you’re a prince and all, and are probably used to being waited on. But I can’t lift you. I can’t do anything for you if you don’t get up and onto my table.”
The Nozing stirred. Placing his hands on the floor, he pushed himself up halfway into a sitting position. Then, with a low, pained groan, rose incredibly gracefully to his feet. Her heart pounded in fear as he unfurled above her, at least seven feet in height, with a hulking body and shock white hair hanging to his waist. His fingers curled, hiding the pointed tips of his nails she’d seen against the glass earlier. Muscles rose hard and intimidating over a broad chest and tight abdomen. His skin was streaked with blood in various shades of drying, his chest gleaming with sweat.
He could crush her head between his hands if he wanted to.
“Okay, you got this.” she said with steel in her voice. “You’re not going to hurt me, right?”
His eyes caught hers and it felt like a velvet caress. His head swayed lightly from side to side.
No.
She backed out of the room, giving him lots of space to exit. Gesturing to the table, she backed up even more. Just in case.
“I need you to lie on your left side on the table. I’ll help you get adjusted into the correct position.” Considering he may not know the context of left and right, she pointed to the side of her body and then gestured again to the table. Though Quixx had informed her before that the Nozing wore translator chips, this one hadn’t uttered a word in days. Perhaps his had stopped working. She had no idea how much he could understand.
As if to reassure her, he went weakly to the table and lie perfectly down upon it, even positioning to give her a perfect canvas of his back on which to work. Her heart flipped to see the disturbing growth of his wings, stunted and trapped inside the confines of his own body. The skin had ripped and torn, tried to granulate and heal, while blood continued to seep and collect around the open wounds.
“I’m going to fix this. I promise that I’ll do my best.”
“Priya, what the hell are you doing?”
She jumped at the unexpected voice. Spinning, she saw Brandon, rolling his intravenous pole in one hand as he hurried toward her. His face was bright with healthy color, his movements stronger than the last time he’d been up.
“Why are you up?”
“Don’t divert the question. Why, how, is this thing out of his cage?”
“He’s not a thing. And he’s not going to hurt anyone.” She swept Brandon with an assessing look. “You look much better. How do you feel?”
Warily side-eyeing her patient on the table, Brandon moved his limbs and rolled his head from side to side. “I feel amazing. I can’t remember the last time I felt this clear headed, and steady on my feet. Did you give me alien medicine?”
She laughed softly. “Just some good old human-approved electrolytes, vitamins and minerals.”
Going around the table, she bent slightly, holding back her fear, to look into the Nozing’ face. Brandon was at her side immediately, as if he could somehow protect her in his patient gown, with an IV pole in his hand.
“I don’t think I have anything that will lessen your pain. Is there something you know of that works for pain for you? Something the Axxeon might have?”
Intelligent, bright eyes locked onto hers.
No.
The word played clearly in her head. She didn’t question how, not after the compulsion he’d put her through before. “Then I’m very sorry to say that what I’m going to do will likely be quite painful. I am sorry about that.”
He gave the barest of nods and then closed his eyes and relaxed into the bed, as if succumbing to what he knew was coming.
“Okay, I’m going to get ready. I will be right back.”
She moved toward the opposite wall to gather a protective gown when Brandon grabbed her wrist. “What are you doing?” His voice was a low hiss, laced with interest.
“I have to open up the area around his wings to allow them to come through. I mean, I think that’s what needs to be done. I haven’t properly examined the situation yet. He’s dying. I promised to help him.”
Brandon’s eyes shifted. “How do the Axxeon feel about this?”
She gestured to the guards outside the door. “Quixx, the King and many others have just left. Including your sister. I’m sorry.”
Brandon’s expression fell. He gave an accepting shake of his head. “It’s okay. I knew she was going to go. I promised to consider going, too. Maybe… maybe I will.”
“You’re not going back to the city? What about your fire crew?”
His expression fell. Dropping the topic, she donned a gown and searched for gloves. Then she grabbed what looked like antiseptic scrub and began to wash her hands and arms in the sink.
“I have no idea what kind of germs the Nozing are susceptible to. Human precautions might not mean anything to them.”
Brandon looked at the bag of fluid hanging from his white pole with its splayed feet of silver spiked toes. She half watched as he figured out how to crimp off the line and disconnect it, then used the end of his light blue gown to stave off bleeding as he pulled the needle from his arm.
“You weren’t done with that.”
“Yes, I am. I feel great. Let me help you. It will keep my mind of losing my sister.”
She stared at him. She’d asked Quixx to help because she was nervous to do this alone. She’d asked him to help her save the life of a member of the race that had tried to wipe them out. He’d been right to be angry about that. It wasn’t fair to expect him to help.
But it was too late now.
Brandon was a fire medic. He was trained to save lives and knew his way around equipment. Bending down to a bottom shelf below the table, she found a pair of slip on medical pants.
“Here, see if these fit. I’ll take your help if you feel up to it. I mean, you just came out of a deep sleep…”
“I’m more than good.”
He changed and together they went over her instrument layout. Then, with great care, Priya sat on a stool behind the Nozing’ back and inspected the erupted portion of wing. Using forceps, she examined the tissue and quickly determined the reason that his wings could not erupt. Flesh and muscle had torn to reveal a tangle of blood vessels on either side had trapped the beginning eruption of wing, creating a type of spider’s web that prevented more of the wings from coming through. His body must have detected the dual entrapment and halted the progression of the wings to save the vessels from bursting and causing fatal blood loss.
&nb
sp; “I see the problem.” Carefully, she moved some of the vessels to the side. “I can make two incisions, one at the base of each wing, and tack these blood vessels off to the side so they aren’t damaged when the wings fully erupt.” She took a deep breath as she planned. “The incisions will have to be bigger than I like.”
Catching Brandon’s eyes, she nodded to the table. “I need the scalpel, then I want you to hold these vessels over while I make the cut.”
They got into position. “Brace yourself,” she called to the Nozing. “This is going to hurt.”
She hesitated only a moment before piercing his skin and running a vertical incision beneath the base of the wing eruption. Almost immediately, the wing began to spread like a baby bird emerging from a shell. Once the incision was made, she had Brandon pat the bleeding while she took care with the vessels, rearranging them carefully until she had the network moved out of the way of the wing. Tacking the vessel mass with dissolvable suture, she then seared the edges of the incision with a cautery stick that Yawnlit had shown her before. It halted the bleeding for now. No telling how badly the tissues would bleed again once the wings fully erupted.
Satisfied with the first, they repeated the process with the second wing. Almost immediately, both wings began to move forward. Awed by how his body had separated its layers—fascia, muscle, tendon, vessels and skin—to make room for his new appendages, she was eager to know how he’d heal in return.
They cleansed his wounds, and Priya made quick work of sponge bathing any exposed skin. She lightly bandaged the incisions in a way they’d simply pop off once the wings emerged.
The Nozing hadn’t moved through any of it. Peering down into his face, Priya suspected he had fallen back into the trance-like state he’d been in before today when he’d captured her with compulsion.
“Let’s leave him here to rest. I need--I need to sit down.”
Sweat beaded on her forehead and she couldn’t get the protective gown off fast enough. Racing to the sink, she scrubbed her hands and arms to remove the Nozing blood. Brandon watched her with concern as he did the same.