by A. K. Evans
“You’ve garnered a lot of clients in a short amount of time then?” I asked as I held the fajita up to my mouth.
Lexi nodded and added, “Yeah, I guess so. Obviously, things started with Monroe and her dance studio. Since then I’ve added Elle and Wes as clients. I’ve got a few smaller businesses that I work with. One of my friends from college is planning to open her own yoga studio in Windsor as soon as she finds the perfect location, so I’m meeting with her next week to help her with that project. Obviously, I’ve also picked up Grant and the center. Needless to say, I’ve certainly got enough to keep me busy.”
I felt bad not responding to what she said, but I felt compelled to share, “These fajitas are amazing, Lex. Where’d you learn to cook?”
“My mom taught me the basics,” she responded. “I’ve picked up a few things on my own, though. I’m glad you like them. So, what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Well, you wondered if you were keeping me from anything by being here. I was just curious if I was keeping you from anything.”
I sighed. “I’m pretty much married to work right now. It’s been really busy over the last few months. Now, with this new case, I put in even more time than I usually do.”
“Do you like working so much?” she wondered.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I like feeling useful and I like the challenge this career gives me. I give myself more free time when I’m working on things like real-estate or insurance fraud cases. But with something like I’m working on now, I tend to overwork. I don’t mind the extra time I put in, though, because it’s necessary. The longer it takes to find these women, the longer their road to recovery will be. Some may not ever fully recover.”
Lexi swallowed hard, set her fajita down on her plate, and sat back in her chair.
“Is everything ok?” I asked.
She looked down at her plate before she looked back at me and answered, “I feel awful, Cruz. You shouldn’t be here with me right now; you should be doing whatever you’ve got to do to find those women.”
“Lexi,” I started, my voice soft. “I already told you that I haven’t been able to fully focus on this case since I learned about it because I’ve been worrying about you. You fit the profile. I need to ease my concerns about your safety so I can focus on finding them. Even setting up the security and surveillance in your office and apartment won’t make me not worry, but I’ll rest a little easier knowing you’ve got some protection.”
She held my eyes, but said nothing.
“Don’t worry that I’m here and nothing’s being done. Dom and Lorenzo have been busting their asses just as hard and they’re working on the case as we speak. Before I came to your office earlier, Levi told me he was going to put another guy on the case so we can hopefully make more progress.”
Finally, Lexi spoke. “Are you going to find them? Will you get those girls back?”
“We’re doing everything we can to see that they’re brought home as quickly as possible. I promise you that. We won’t stop until we take down whoever is behind this.”
Lexi seemed to accept my response and got back to eating. We finished dinner, moving our conversation to much lighter topics. It took her a minute to loosen up again, but Lexi was soon back to being her funny self.
After dinner, I attempted to help Lexi clean up, but she insisted I get back to work.
So, I did.
About an hour later, I had completed the installation on the system. I found Lexi, gave her the rundown on how this one worked, and gave her the code.
“Thank you for this, Cruz,” she offered.
“You’re welcome, Lexi. I’ll stop back tomorrow morning around nine, if that works for you, to add the last few things to it.”
“Nine o’clock is fine with me.”
I nodded, took a few steps backward, and bent down by the couch, where I began packing up my tools.
When I stood and started moving toward the front door to leave, Lexi called, “Cruz?”
“Yeah?” I responded as I turned toward her.
She was shifting nervously back and forth on her feet and fidgeting with her hands. “May I hug you?” she finally got out.
For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why she thought she needed to ask me that. I thought I made it rather clear how much I liked her. Instead of pointing that out, though, I dropped my tools and simply held one of my arms out to her. Lexi took two steps toward me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I brought my arms around her and held her tight.
“Thank you, Cruz. Thank you for doing this for me.”
I squeezed her a little tighter in response and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She tilted her head back and brought her eyes to mine. They stayed there only briefly before they dropped to my mouth. I let her gaze linger on my lips a bit before I asked, “What is it, Lexi?”
After her eyes searched my face, slightly frantic, she practically brought me to my knees when she shared, “I want you to kiss me, Cruz. I haven’t been kissed in a very long time and I think I’d really like for you to be the one to do it.”
She was looking up at me, her eyes hopeful. I was certain I’d die if I didn’t kiss this girl. She didn’t have to ask me twice.
With her beautiful body pressed up against me, I dropped my mouth to hers. The spark I felt the second my lips connected with her soft ones was something I knew I’d never forget. I brought my tongue out to tease her lips and she wasted not one second before she opened her mouth to let me in. My tongue explored her mouth while Lexi took the liberty to explore mine with hers.
She leaned further into me and I took her weight, all while keeping my mouth connected to hers.
We kissed for a long time, my arms keeping her tight against my body. Eventually, she pulled away. When she did, she buried her face in my chest. I found the reaction odd.
“Are you ok?” I asked.
I felt her take a deep breath before she pulled back and smiled up at me. “Yeah, I’m fabulous.”
I loved it…that excited, happy look on her face.
I smiled back at her and said, “I should get going.”
She nodded at me and dropped her hands from around my waist.
“I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” she reminded me.
“Nine in the morning,” I repeated.
At that, I opened the door and urged, “Be sure to set the alarm after I leave.”
“I will,” she assured me.
I dipped my chin and closed the door behind me. I waited until I heard her lock the door before I walked away. Then, I got in my truck and replayed that kiss with Lexi in my head the entire ride home.
Nine o’clock couldn’t come soon enough.
It was eight fifteen the next morning when my phone rang.
“Morning, Cruz,” I answered.
“Hey, Lexi. Listen, I’m really sorry to do this, but I’ve got to cancel on you this morning,” Cruz let me down gently.
“Is everything ok?” I worried.
“Something came up on the case and I’ve got to get it handled right away. I know you’ve got work to do and I didn’t want you sitting around waiting for me. If you wanted to go to your office, you can. I’ll still come by today if you’re available later in the day. I don’t know what time it’ll be, but definitely not before early evening at best.”
“Of course,” I started. “Please do whatever you’ve got to do. I’ll head to the office for a little bit today to get some work done, but I should be back here around five.”
“Really sorry, Lex.”
He sounded tortured.
“It’s alright, Cruz. I’d prefer you take care of your case anyway. You’ve got me set up at the office and I’ll be spending the day there today, so I’m good. Don’t worry about me; just focus on what you’ve got to do.”
I heard him let out a sigh. “Thanks for understanding. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you then.”
; I disconnected the call and felt a wave of disappointment wash over me. I barely slept last night because I spent so much time replaying my kiss with Cruz over and over in my head.
After what happened in my office earlier that day, I had mixed emotions. On one hand, I knew how badly I wanted to experience having him kiss me, but on the other I was nervous about the fact that I was finally feeling attracted to someone. I worried about what might happen if I gave into what I was suddenly feeling…what I wanted to delve deeper into.
Just before he left last night, I found the courage to ask for something I wanted.
His arms around me.
Oddly, I found a great sense of security there. I didn’t necessarily understand it, but I didn’t want dwell on it either. It’s not like I had been through sexual assault recovery before, so I didn’t know what to expect. As Dr. Lane had expressed to me throughout the course of the years I’d been seeing her, everyone’s road to healing is different. There was no instruction book on how to proceed. I had to start listening to my instincts and trust in myself. I had to believe in what I was feeling.
For me, it felt like it had been a long road already. Continuing to move ahead would certainly challenge me, but I knew I wanted to get to a place where I could rediscover my sexuality. I didn’t want to live the rest of my life believing that kissing, hugging, touching, sex, and other intimate acts were bad. And the only way for me to know how I’d react in those situations was to put myself in them with someone I could trust. I knew, though, that to be fair to myself and him, I was going to have to be forthcoming with that person before it was too late.
So, I decided I wanted Cruz to kiss me. I had nerves about asking him, but they melted away the instant his lips touched mine. His kiss felt wonderful and I had to admit that the biggest reason I felt such disappointment with him not being able to come by this morning was that I wanted to experience that again with him.
But he had important work to do. I wanted him to do what he needed to help those girls and bring them home.
On these thoughts, I went about getting my things ready and left for my office.
As soon as I arrived, I dove into my work for the rape crisis center. It would be officially opening a week from Monday, and the closer we got to that day, the more determined I found myself. I wanted WAAR to be a success. The success I was searching for with it wouldn’t be based on the amount of donations we brought in, though. In my opinion, the center’s success could only be defined by the work it did for each survivor that walked through the doors.
Halfway through my day, I took a quick break to have some lunch. Afterward, I made calls confirming my appointments for next week. One of those calls was to Lennox, a girl I had been acquaintances with in high school, but managed to become friends with while I was in college. She didn’t know about my rape. When I was in the spring semester of my sophomore year at my new school, we had a class together. I wasn’t looking for friends while I was there, but we needed to do a group project and I gravitated toward her because she was someone familiar. We forged a friendship and have kept in touch since graduating. She was going to be opening her own yoga studio in Windsor and wanted my help, so we had scheduled a meeting for next week.
“Hello?” she answered after one ring.
“Hey, Leni. It’s Lexi. I’m calling you from the phone in my new office,” I began, realizing she probably didn’t recognize my number. “I just wanted to confirm our meeting for Tuesday afternoon.”
“You finally found an office?”
“Yeah. I looked at a few last week, put in an offer on this one, and officially moved in on Wednesday.”
“That’s awesome. Congratulations! I’ve got news of my own,” she hinted.
“What’s going on?”
“I found the perfect location for my yoga studio and I’m signing the lease on Monday,” she shared.
“Oh, Leni, I’m so happy for you. Congrats to you, too!”
“Thanks,” she started. “I’m so excited for our meeting on Tuesday, so considered me confirmed. I can’t wait to start.”
I suddenly heard a loud, blaring sound come through the phone.
“Oh shit,” she cried. “That’s the smoke alarm. I forgot about the food in the oven. I’ve got to go, Lex. Send me your new office address and I’ll meet you there on Tuesday.”
I laughed. “Sounds good. Don’t set your place on fire!”
She disconnected the call and I sent her the address for my new office. After, I confirmed I had all the details finalized for Elle’s meet-and-greet this weekend and sent her a quick text.
Hey, El. Just wanted to let you know that I need to move our meeting tomorrow to the morning if possible.
I got back to work and about five minutes later, she responded.
Sure. Is everything alright?
Me: I have dinner plans with Cruz.
Elle: WHAAAAAT!
Me: He kissed me last night.
Elle: Ack! I’m so excited. How was it?
Me: Fabulous. Absolutely fabulous.
Elle: Details tomorrow morning!!
Me: Ok. My place around 10. Does that work for you?
Elle: I’ll be there.
I got back to work and before I knew it, I was packing up my things to head home. I grabbed what I needed for Elle’s event on Sunday since I had no plans to head back to the office until Monday morning.
After securing the alarm on my office, I walked out to my car and made my way home. It was nearly five-thirty and I hadn’t eaten since lunch. I checked that the sauce I pulled out of the freezer earlier that morning had thawed before I turned on the oven and went about making my turkey meatballs. Twenty-five minutes after I put them in the oven, they were finished. I wasn’t typically a big pasta eater, but I decided to live a little today. I grabbed a bowl, filled it with pasta, put a few meatballs on top, and ate dinner.
Once I finished, I cleaned up the kitchen and decided to change into my workout clothes. I put on a pair of yoga pants, a sports bra, and a loose-fitting tee. It was approaching seven and I hadn’t heard anything from Cruz. I didn’t know what time to expect him, but figured it might be best to get my workout in now.
An hour later, just as I finished my workout and started walking to my bedroom to take a shower, I heard a knock at the door.
That would be just my luck. Cruz would show up now, when I smelled and was covered in a sheen of sweat.
I opened the door and, despite being overheated from my workout, felt my temperature skyrocket at the sight of Cruz.
“Hey,” I greeted.
Cruz’s eyes traveled the length of me before he replied, “Hey.”
I stepped back to allow him to come inside and, after I closed the door, I continued to step back. I did not want Cruz smelling the grossness that was likely me in that moment.
“Sorry,” I lamented once I had moved far enough away. “I didn’t know what time to expect you so I figured I’d get my workout in. I was just about to jump in the shower when you arrived.”
His face did something and his expression changed, but I wasn’t sure what it was or what it meant.
“I brought everything I need to get your security system finished up. I won’t need to be in your bedroom, so you can go shower if you want. I’ll just get to work.”
I nodded and offered, “I don’t know if you ate anything, but I have some leftover spaghetti and turkey meatballs if you’d like. I can heat them up quickly before I hop in the shower.”
“I didn’t eat,” he shared. “I finished doing what I had to do and came right here to see you.”
He didn’t eat. And he came right over. Not to finish installing my security system, but to see me. I had to admit how good that felt.
With that, I turned and walked to the kitchen to heat up some food for Cruz. When it was ready, I walked back out to where he was in the living room, sorting through a bunch of equipment. As I gestured toward the dining area, I stated, “Food’s ready. I set it on the tab
le out there. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Thanks, Lex.”
I made my way to my bedroom, closed the door, and walked into the bathroom. I locked that door. I didn’t think Cruz would go against what he said and follow me into my room, but habit made me lock the door.
Twenty-five minutes later, I had finished in the shower, dried my hair, and thrown on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I went back out to the living room and saw that Cruz was still working. I didn’t want to interrupt him so I made my presence known and settled myself on the couch. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, between the lack of sleep last night thinking about Cruz and the workout I had just put in, it didn’t take long for me to give in to the exhaustion.
“Lexi?” I heard Cruz’s gentle voice call.
My eyes shot open and I gathered my surroundings. I was on the couch in my living room and Cruz was sitting on the edge of it next to me. I had fallen asleep with a man in my apartment!
I quickly scooted myself up and rested my back against the armrest.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized.
“It’s ok. I just finished up and didn’t want to leave without letting you know. Plus, I didn’t think you’d be comfortable sleeping here on the couch all night either.”
Well, that was nice of him.
“Did you get everything squared away?” I asked.
“Yes. Everything is good to go. There aren’t any new instructions for you, so you’ll arm and disarm the system the way I showed you yesterday.”
“Thank you. Now, will you see to it that a bill is sent to me or should I stop in to get an invoice?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Pardon?”
Cruz grinned at me and explained, “This one’s on the house.”
“What? Why?”
“I told Levi yesterday what I was doing and he said he didn’t want any money for the equipment. He wanted you covered and told me to take whatever was needed to see to it that you were.”