by Lauren Smith
She gave a little nod and curled her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her mouth. One brush of his lips, one sweet dance of tongues, and the tension poured out of her like a vast torrential rain. She gasped in shock and wonder at the sensation of being full. There was no part of her not filled by him, no space left empty in either her body or soul.
“How do you feel now?” he asked between drugging kisses and slow, gliding thrusts.
“Free.” It was the first word that came to her mind. A delightful mix of giddiness and a sense of being weightless. “What about you?” she whispered. In that moment she was enveloped in a secret reverence, like slipping into the back of a cathedral during Mass. Shadows and rainbows of light spinning around her. Something beautiful and awe-inspiring was building between them and she dared not ruin it.
“You feel perfect. I can’t even begin to put words to it. Only that it makes me weak, I suppose.” His dark gold eyelashes dropped to half-mast as he studied her lips. “A man ought not to admit to that.” A bashful redness tinged his cheeks.
“I make you weak?” She couldn’t resist the giggle that slipped out.
“Ivy, you have no idea what you do to me.” He slowly pulled his hips toward him and surged inside her again.
She threw her head back with a moan. After that, she wasn’t able to form words, or even thoughts. There were only sensations. The pressure of lips to skin, the sting of teeth on flesh, the aching and the burning, mixing, melding, the wild need for something primal, something too old to be named. When it hit her, her lips parted on a silent scream, and she bucked beneath Leo. He cursed softly, then between panting breaths, he worked himself even deeper, harder. Three sharp thrusts, and he cried out and followed her into the vast bliss.
Exhaustion captured her like a gentle thief, and she burrowed deeper into Leo’s body for warmth. Still fused together, he shifted so that they lay on their sides, legs and arms entwined, blankets tucked around them. They were as close as two people could get, and knowing that was a little frightening. Every part of her was laid bare to him and it would be so easy for him to destroy her, break her. The smooth smile on his lips was warm, comforting.
“Sleep, we’ve time.” He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and traced the bridge of her nose.
Time. Did they really have time? Even if they did not, she would pretend they had years ahead of them.
Chapter 9
A massive weight vanished from Leo’s shoulders. He could breathe again. Drawing in a lungful of air, he exhaled and feathered a kiss on Ivy’s temple. She snuggled closer, still asleep. This was what his mother had told him to find. A woman who would undo him from the inside out, a woman he could not live without. He had made his choice before taking her to bed. He knew then he could not propose to Mildred. Still, after finally being with Ivy, it was a relief to know his decision had been right. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with someone he loved.
Loved.
Did he love Ivy?
For someone who had lived the last several years denying himself joy, he felt like a starving man perusing the menu of the Savoy and unable to limit his choices. If he could have Ivy at his side, as his wife and equal, he could do anything. She made him weak and strong all at once. Only love could be that contrary to a sensible man’s heart. A little grin twisted his lips. The only problem was convincing her that she should marry him. How was a man supposed to get a suffragette leg-shackled?
A draft settled in around him like a deep fog over his skin, and he glanced at the fireplace. The logs were nearly burned out. If he didn’t get out of bed and get some fresh ones, the fire would die. With infinite care, he slid out of bed without waking Ivy and hastily dressed. He paused at the door, his eyes lingering on the vision of his black-haired Gypsy sleeping in the bed. His chest tightened and a soft warmth enclosed his heart as he slipped outside to retrieve some firewood from behind the lodge.
* * *
A cold breeze tickled her nose, waking Ivy from sleep.
“Leo,” she murmured, searching for his warm body to cuddle against. Her body was sore, and a prick of pain between her legs forced her eyes open. When she reached out, her hands met an empty bed.
Leo was gone.
The fire was nearly embers and ash.
Had he left her? After what they’d shared, she thought he might not leave, at least not so soon. Tears burned in her eyes. His clothes were gone, but his gun was still resting against the wall by the door. Perhaps he’d gone to fetch firewood. Yes, that must be it. He wouldn’t have abandoned her. She buried her face in her pillow, still able to smell his tantalizing scent where it clung to the fabric. If only she had more time with him, but she’d promised herself one day.
The door to the lodge suddenly creaked as it opened. Leo was back! She sat up, clutching the sheet to her neck, protecting only from the cold, not from modesty. After what they’d done, she really couldn’t be that shy.
“I say…Leo, are you here? Had a devil of a time finding you.” Owen Hadley’s voice drifted through the cabin a second before his head popped around the edge of the door. Ivy couldn’t move, like a hare frozen in front of a wolf. Owen’s eyes scanned the room, fell on Ivy, and his lips parted in shock, then narrowed.
“Miss Leighton? Where’s Hampton?” He took a step across the threshold, and then with a glance behind him, he shut the door, closing them both inside.
“He’s gone to retrieve firewood.” Please come back, Leo. Where are you…
“Well, now, this is most interesting…” He started toward her, his steps slow but sure.
Her skin prickled with fear.
“Mr. Hadley, you must leave immediately. I’m not properly dressed.”
Humor lit his eyes. “I can certainly see that. You know, the others are within shouting distance…If we were discovered together, like this, I’m quite sure your father would have to allow us to marry. Your reputation wouldn’t survive the scandal.” Owen reached the foot of the bed, watching her with heated eyes and an intensity that terrified her. How had she not seen his desperation earlier? She’d noticed his worn clothes and his determined interest in her, but she hadn’t wanted to believe he would stoop so low as to try to compromise her.
“Please leave,” she demanded this time.
“I’m sorry, love, but I’m quite determined to catch an heiress, and I’ll do whatever is necessary.” He walked quickly back to the cabin door and opened it, shouting her father’s name.
Ivy’s throat ran dry as panic tore through her like a violent wind. She scrambled around on the bed, trying to find her clothes, but they were littered upon the ground.
“Too late for that, love, far too late,” Owen muttered as he walked toward her again. “Now be a dear, and let me have one quick kiss, just to give them a good show. We ought to make it convincing, you see.” His words were uttered in a rush, as though he’d planned it out and had rehearsed this in his head.
“If you touch me, I’ll kill you!” she warned in a low growl.
“I have no intention of harming you, but a kiss would make things so much more believable.”
“I’ll never marry you! My father wouldn’t make me either!” She swung a hand at him, trying to strike him, but he caught her wrist.
“Christ, woman, it’s one bloody kiss!”
His other hand shot out, grabbing her by the shoulders and dragging her up to her knees. He planted a kiss on her and she bit him. Hard.
Everything happened so fast after that. Someone bellowed like an enraged beast and Owen was ripped away from her. Leo was there, a vengeful god. He swung a fist and knocked Owen flat on the bed next to Ivy. He didn’t stir. Ivy’s body exploded with shivers, and she fought off the tears that rushed forth now that Leo was here.
Gripping her shoulders, he looked her over, as though inspecting her for injuries. “Are you well? He didn’t…”
“No. I’m fine,” she assured him.
As her heartbeat slowed, she became aware of people spea
king outside the open door to the lodge. Leo lunged for the bed, shoving Owen off the other side. He landed with a thud out of sight of anyone who might come into the cabin. Then Leo wrapped the blanket around Ivy and hauled her into his arms, kissing her ruthlessly. She melted instantly, but seconds later, she stiffened as voices echoed inside the lodge.
“What in God’s name?” someone shouted.
Leo broke the kiss.
Her father stood in the open doorway, backed by Mr. Atherton and Mr. Pevenly.
“Oh, Lord,” Mr. Pevenly muttered as he and Mr. Atherton retreated outside.
Ivy’s father didn’t budge an inch. His rifle hung dangerously ready to be fired and Ivy wondered if she should slide her body in front of Leo’s to protect him.
“Care to explain why you and my daughter are in that bed?”
Leo met her father’s stare head-on.
“Because I have been with her, and I intend to marry her.”
Ivy’s mind blanked. Marry her? Surely he didn’t mean that…He was doing it because he’d been caught compromising her.
“You seem to be courting my daughter out of order. Bedding typically follows matrimony, Hampton.” Her father raised the gun an inch, a hint of a threat.
“I’m well aware, Mr. Leighton,” Leo said stiffly, and tucked Ivy under his arm, supporting her.
Did he know she was in a state of shock? What sensible woman wouldn’t be while facing an irate father in nothing but a blanket, with a lover who offered marriage only to do right by her. Finally she found her voice.
“You don’t have to marry me,” she told him, not looking at him, in case he saw the disappointment in her eyes.
“Of course he does,” her father snapped at the same time Leo growled, “Of course I do.”
Nausea welled up inside her, and she stared at him. He let her go, and she slid off the bed to gather her clothes. This wasn’t what she wanted. She couldn’t marry him, and she couldn’t do it this way even if she had wanted marriage.
“Escort her back to the house when she is dressed. Then you and I will talk, Lord Hampton.”
Leo assented in a quick nod. A silent exchange seemed to pass between him and her father before her father at last left the hunting lodge.
Ivy struggled to dress with trembling hands. Marriage was the only way to save her reputation, but she didn’t want to marry a man who would despise her because he’d been forced to go to the altar. She didn’t even want to think about how it would destroy her freedom, her rights…everything she had been fighting so hard for this last year since she’d joined the WSPU.
“This isn’t right…We shouldn’t have to—” Her words came out haltingly as despair choked her.
“No, Ivy. You will listen to me.” He caught her arm and dragged her around to face him. “I want to marry you. I wanted to before this happened.” He gestured to the rumpled bed.
She wrinkled her nose. “What?”
He stepped closer, invading her space and running riot over her senses. Curling an arm around her waist, he drew her against him and did something that sent her heart skittering. Leo trailed a fingertip down the bridge of her nose and tapped the end of it.
“I said…I want to marry you, Button.”
Button? Her chest tightened painfully. “You know…who I am?” Her voice broke a little as she tried to face the fact that her past was no longer a mystery to him. He knows who I am…
He smiled, a little embarrassed. “I saw you visit your mother’s grave this morning. I put the pieces together.”
She nibbled her lip. “Are you angry that I deceived you?”
He shook his head, his golden hair delightfully mussed from their earlier lovemaking.
“No. I assume my mother commanded your silence. No doubt she planned this.”
“She did,” Ivy admitted.
“My only question is why?” As Leo talked, he threaded his fingers through her dark hair and gently tugged, making Ivy tilt her head back. The blue of his eyes was dark, like a lake in winter.
“We met over tea in London a month ago while we were attending a WSPU meeting. We both learned there was to be a local meeting near Hampton and she invited me to come down for the meeting and join the house party.”
Leo chuckled. “I told her she wasn’t to go to that meeting. She then convinced me a house party would be a decent exchange for my barring her suffragette activities. Does this mean she’s still planning to attend the gathering?”
“Um…” Ivy bit her lip, not sure how much to divulge of Leo’s mother’s involvement. One did not betray a fellow sister in arms.
“Right,” he sighed, a wry smile upon his lips. “I suppose this is something I’ll endeavor to get used to if my wife and mother will be battling the establishment.”
“You mean…” Her heart stilled for several painful seconds as she waited for him to speak.
Leo cupped her face, brushing his fingertips over her lips. “I won’t fight you on suffrage, my darling. If you want to vote, then by God, I shan’t stand in your way.” He was silent a long moment. “I might even help you, if you’d let me. I’m already damned, so what’s one more scandal?”
She tensed. “Damned?” That sounded…dreadful, and she didn’t like him thinking she was damning him.
With a sigh, he pressed his forehead to hers. “Damned by my father, not you. Never you. I know you must have heard the rumors. They’re unfortunately true. He had a mistress, an Italian opera singer, and he passed away while in her company. It was a messy business.”
She had heard the rumors and the questions whispered as to whether he would follow in his father’s steps.
“Will marrying me make matters worse for you?” she asked quietly.
“Matters are already worse, but I won’t care about it if I have you. You matter more to me than society’s opinions. Damn them all if they think they can judge you for my father’s sins. You are wonderful, pure, brilliant. You’re not a mistress, not a thing to be hidden away and whispered about.” He seemed to be searching for the right words, his blue eyes bright with pleading. “I need you more than anything. Do you understand? I can survive whatever else may happen if I have you at my side.”
He wasn’t ashamed of her? And he wouldn’t let gossip and loss of reputation destroy him?
This was the Leo she’d loved, the young man who had been her Prince Charming, who fought dragons and climbed a tower to save a frightened child from her nightmares. Tears burned her eyes.
“I feel the same about you, that if you stood with me, I might yet have all my dreams, even the ones I’d long ago banished.” Like marrying for love. She’d never thought it was possible to have love and have her freedom, but Leo would give her that; she was sure of it now. Her heart felt light enough that it might take wing and fly away if it weren’t bound to him by invisible threads.
They shared a smile and her heart was fit to burst. Then Leo suddenly grinned.
“Did my mother have a scheme for you to distract me when she brought you here for the party?”
“Yes. She wanted you to have a chance to see there were other women out there.” She nibbled her lip before continuing. “I didn’t want to deceive you and honestly I had no intention of marrying you or anyone because I was afraid to have a husband who wouldn’t have supported my belief in women’s suffrage. I always intended to tell you the truth of who I was, but I didn’t want you remembering me as Button either. I was just a child and you were always so brotherly to me. I wanted to be seen as…” She trailed off, feeling completely foolish.
“A beautiful, intelligent woman?”
She swallowed and nodded. “I didn’t want to lead you on since I had no intentions of marrying, but part of me wanted you to love me even though I was sure you couldn’t love a suffragette and support her.”
“I wouldn’t have thought it possible either but I do love you and I do support you. You’ve changed me, darling, in more ways than I’d ever imagined,” he murmured gently. “An
d to think my mother’s scheme ensnared me in her parson’s mousetrap after all.”
Ivy shook her head. “I don’t think she meant to trap you. She truly doesn’t want you marrying Mildred because she believes you would be unhappy and that is the last thing she wants for a son she loves with all her heart.”
Leo brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes, his gaze warm. “I shall swallow my male pride and tell her just how wonderful a mother she is for finding me my heart’s desire. Hell, she’ll crow with delight when she finds out I’m attending your WSPU meeting.”
Ivy kissed his cheek fervently. “You’ll really come with us?” She still couldn’t believe it.
He nodded seriously. “If I have a daughter someday, a daughter with you, I don’t want her to face the trials you have. I want her to have a voice, to be free. You made me see that and now I can’t imagine a world where any daughter of mine would be silenced and treated only as a pretty pet for some man to marry. She deserves more than that.” His voice was rough with emotion and Ivy’s heart sung with joy. He really was going to support her.
They stayed huddled close a moment longer, neither of them speaking, simply enjoying holding each other and clinging to the last few minutes they’d likely have alone until after they were married.
Leo finally cleared his throat. “Well, are you decent? We ought to get back to the house and assess the damage we’ve done.” He fetched their coats and helped her into hers.
“What about Mr. Hadley?” she asked, suddenly remembering the poor fellow Leo had struck. They both leaned over the bed to see him, still unconscious.
“Let him be. He’ll rouse and come back soon enough. Damn fool. I knew he was desperate to find a wife for his estate. I just didn’t realize he was far more desperate than I. I hope you aren’t too angry with him.”
Ivy scowled down at Leo’s friend. “He did try to explain but I was so furious…”
“Owen is a good man. He wouldn’t have done anything beyond kiss you. His estate is in poor shape and he’s turned fortune hunter, I suppose.” She didn’t miss the note of sadness in his tone.