by TK Lawyer
The waitress leaned forward slightly. “I’m sorry. It’s just Josh is such a wonderful person to work for.”
Tamara’s eyebrows puckered. “Oh, is he an old supervisor or something?”
She shook her head and laughed. “Nooo… he’s the owner of this restaurant.”
Tamara froze.
Seeing her reaction, the waitress’s laughter came to an immediate halt. Her eyes grew wide, and she drew in a quick breath before covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh no, I’m so sorry. I thought you knew.” She shrugged her shoulders. “He must have meant for it to be a surprise. Oh well, have a lovely evening!” She walked away giggling and disappeared into the kitchen.
Tamara stood there for a moment completely stunned. People walked by frowning. Some of them brushed up against her as they veered around the corner and down the narrow hallway. Why hadn’t Josh told her? She just spent the entire night complimenting different things about the restaurant, and at no point did he stop her and tell her he owned it. Was he ever going to tell her? And if not, why was he trying to hide it? Was it some kind of crazy secret? If so, what other secrets was he hiding?
Tamara shook her head and tried to reason out the jumbled mess in her brain at the startling news, but parts of it still didn’t make any sense. Not only did Josh suddenly own a restaurant, but he had staff that looked like well-endowed cheerleaders. What was she to make of it? Did he date any of them? Is that why he was so “wonderful”?
She imagined walking out the front door and letting Josh worry over where she went. Why did he keep owning the restaurant a secret, anyway? He could’ve told her. It would’ve made the experience tonight much more enjoyable. Vee was right. Some men couldn’t be trusted. Granted, Vee hadn’t met Josh yet. Maybe she’d have a different opinion from Tamara?
And the waitress…
Tamara knew the jealousy stirring up within her gut was unfounded. There wasn’t any reason for her to believe that Josh had been unfaithful, but her past warned her that this might be a red flag. Josh was a catch. And now owner of a fancy restaurant? Why wouldn’t he be sought after?
Still, the nasty sensation swirling through her belly and up into her heart had her tasting bile at the back of her throat at the idea of Josh with anyone else.
The hadn’t delved into discussing in-depth details of their past relationships yet, but the last thing she wanted was to meet up with some cheery, girlish ex of his—especially on a night when she and Josh were out having a good time together.
Tamara watched as the bubbly waitress passed by her again, this time in the opposite direction. The woman paused and looked at her curiously. “Do you need anything?”
Yeah, a two by four for Josh.
She shook her head in response. The waitress beamed a winning smile and then walked away while Tamara frowned at her departing, curvy figure.
At that exact moment, Josh rounded the corner and almost ran headfirst into Tamara. “There you are! I was worried about you. I thought you’d gotten lost.”
He reached for her hands, but Tamara pulled away. The pained expression in her eyes silently conveyed to him her inner turmoil.
“Why didn’t you tell me this was your restaurant?”
Josh’s smile faded instantly, and he stepped back, saying, “You weren’t supposed to know about that until after dinner. Who told you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Tamara snapped. “How could you keep something like that from me?”
He glanced away to greet a passerby eying them in the hallway. Josh lowered his voice and spoke. “This is not the time or place for this conversation. Can we please go somewhere else and talk?”
They stared at each other in tense silence, neither of them willing to speak. Eventually, she shook her head. “You know how I feel about keeping secrets. I can’t be with someone who lies. Sorry, I can’t deal with this, right now. I need to get some air.”
She scurried past him, toward the front double doors.
“Tamara!” Josh called after her.
He repeated her name as she struggled to open one of the heavy wooden doors. Who made the doors? The Hulk? She cursed under her breath when a familiar musky scent followed by strong arms cradled her and then pushed open the door.
She contorted herself away from Josh with a snort of disapproval and then rushed through the gap in the doorway only to be slammed back on her heels against his solid, male body. She remained tense despite the contact and tried evading him by sliding out of his grip and reminding herself why she was angry with him in the first place.
Josh sighed and then led her gently to a private section outside of the restaurant. “I didn’t expect you to find out like this. This evening wasn’t supposed to go completely different. Let’s just talk.”
“What else is there for you to say?” she nearly exploded at him. “You kept this from me on purpose, and now I feel like an idiot.”
“Tamara…” He gritted his teeth and drew out her name in warning.
His eyes held a look of determination she’d never seen before. She knew there was no way he was letting this go.
Her heart jolted towards him, and the fine hairs on the back of her arms stood on end. Josh looked wild. There was no doubt he was angry, but she’d never seen his eyes flash dark amber as they did now. She felt like a small, scared rabbit in front of a hungry, menacing male wolf.
Josh sighed, a sheepish look passing across his softening facial features. He shook his head, as he let go of her arm. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. If you’ll listen, I’d be happy to explain everything. I planned on telling you about the restaurant after we finished eating. I wanted you to be surprised, but it was never my intention to keep it a secret. This evening out was my way of telling you about the about restaurant and showing you at the same time.”
“I guess that makes sense. Although, I have to ask you about the hostess, and the waitress who couldn’t seem to stop gushing over you. You have a lot of beautiful women working here.”
Josh stared at her for a moment in confusion. “What? Are you jealous? Seriously? You have no reason to be. Haven’t I made it clear that you’re the only one for me? You’re the only woman I want in my life.”
Tamara blushed. “Promise?”
“I do,” he responded gently. “And just so you know, all the waitresses are married except for one. She’s engaged. There’s nothing to be jealous of.”
Cold, hungry and embarrassed, she tried pushing his arm off her, but his hold on her only strengthened. Tears formed in the rims of her eyes. Josh wrapped his arms around her waist as she turned away and whirled her around to look at him.
“What is it? Is there something else that’s bothering you?”
Tamara frowned. She knew she should let it go, that she shouldn’t let it get to her, but too many of her past boyfriends had cheated—in one way or another. “Have you dated any of them?”
His roar of laughter threw her off. She whipped her head up at him to view his response to her serious question. Josh threw her a stellar grin, saying, “Tamara, you silly thing. I’ve never dated any of my employees. I’m their boss.”
She skidded the bottom of her shoe across the pavement. “Well, you can hardly blame me for asking. Although, I do feel pretty silly right now.”
He crooked a finger under her chin and tilted her head up. “That’s okay, my little firecracker. It doesn’t take much to get you started, does it?” Leaning closer to her ear, he purred, “Don’t worry, my love. I adore fiery women.”
Tamara’s cheeks flamed.
He let go of her chin and smiled. “I’m a wolf, remember? I can handle strong personalities. I welcome them. Challenge me all you want. I’m not going anywhere, at least not without you.”
She lowered her eyes and sighed with resignation. “I really give you a challenge, don’t I? I’m sorry.”
He snickered. “That’s okay, I can handle it. Now, can we please go back inside before David wonders where we went and starts
clearing off our table?”
She nodded. “I’m sorry again.”
Josh clasped her hand and squeezed it before escorting her through the front doors. Seeking out their table, he rounded the edge of it to pull out her chair for her before he reclaimed his own.
David spotted them and rushed over. “Oh, boss, I mean, Sir.” He looked sheepish. “I wondered where you were. The lady left her purse.”
Josh waved his hand dismissively. “It’s okay, David. Tamara already knows that I’m the owner. Sorry we left so abruptly. We were just outside marveling at the beautiful night. Thank you for not clearing our table.”
The server nodded in agreement. “No problem, Sir. It is a beautiful night. Good night for a run.”
David and Josh shared a smile.
The waiter turned to Tamara, asking, “So, how are you enjoying the establishment?”
She peered over at Josh and said, “Well… the food is wonderful, the restaurant is beautiful, the service is great, and the company is one-of-a-kind.”
Josh grinned with pride.
“He’s that type of employer, too,” David told her.
“Yes, I heard that from one of the female staff earlier. That’s good to hear about my date.”
“Well, is there anything else I can get for the two of you?”
Tamara shook her head. “No, thanks.”
Josh offered the menu to Tamara. “Dessert?”
She ordered a decaffeinated coffee instead and looked out again at the lake.
“Are you enjoying tonight?”
“Yes, I am. This is an impressive restaurant, Josh. How long have you had it?”
He smiled. “I’ve owned the restaurant for five years now.”
“Was it your idea, or did you buy it from someone else?”
Josh grinned at her continued questions. “The idea was mine.”
“Did you name it? I mean, where did you come up with it?”
“Well, at first I searched online for a foreign language translation of ‘wolf’, and nothing sounded good. Then I tried ‘moonlight’, and it was between the German translation of Mondschein or the French translation. I went with the French since my mother was part French.”
“Interesting. Do you enjoy it as a business venture? I mean, is there anything you regret?”
He shook his head. “I can’t think of anything. Wolves love food.”
They both chuckled.
“Owning a restaurant seems natural to me. I really don’t have any regrets. It’s doing well, as you can see by all the patrons here and the long waiting list at the hostess’ stand. If I had to choose one thing I didn’t like, though, it would be that I have no one to share the business with. I would like my partner, or wife, to run the business with me, and that’s what’s lacking in my life. If I could combine them both, my mate and my restaurant, then I would truly be a fortunate, happy man.” He stared at her with sad but hopeful eyes.
Tamara reached across the table and intertwined her small hands within his. She squeezed his hands in reassurance. “It will happen for you one day. I’m sure of it.”
Josh stared at her for a long while, his eyebrows knitted together and asked, “Are you telling me you’ve made up your mind?”
She lowered her eyes. “You know how I feel. It’s a big commitment, and I don’t take it lightly. I-I want all of your dreams to come true, because you deserve it, Josh. You’ll have someone in your life to share this with, even if it’s not me.”
Josh pulled his hand away and remained silent for several long seconds. He breathed outward heavily and shook his head a few times before lifting it and glaring at her. “I told you, Tamara, if it’s not you, it’s no one.”
An uneasy, awkward silence followed. Tamara sipped her coffee, looked out towards the lake, and replayed their conversation in her mind. He was clearly angry, but she couldn’t bring herself to lie to him. She refused to promise something she couldn’t commit to fully, or bring his hopes up for a future they might not have together. So much of her wanted to tell him yes, but there was still a seed of doubt she couldn’t shake. No one could guarantee tomorrow, and after the fight they just had anything was possible.
She wanted to apologize, but she didn’t know what she would be apologizing for. The truth was Josh would find his “one,” even if it wasn’t her.
After tonight, she wasn’t sure if she was deserving of Josh anymore.
***
Josh concentrated on the road ahead and the placement of his hands on the steering wheel. What Tamara said to him tonight destroyed him. His grand hopes for their future shattered right in front of him. He didn’t mind giving Tamara time as long as they we’re on that path together, but now he wondered if she’d ever be ready. They seemed to be on different chapters in the book of their relationship.
His heart was shattered, and he contemplated leaving her, but his heart urged him to lasso her back to him again. He needed time to think.
Abject silence surrounded them completely as he rounded the corner into her drive. He stayed still while she opened her door. “Aren’t you coming in?”
Josh continued staring at the steering wheel. How was she able to easily dismiss what she did to him tonight? “No, I think I’ll stay at my place.”
“Are you sure? I’d love for you to come inside.”
“No, I think it’s best if I go home. I haven’t been back to my apartment in a while, and I’m pretty tired.”
“If it’s about what I said tonight, I…”
He waved off her comment. “Don’t worry. I got the gist of it. Good-night, Tamara.”
Her shoulders slumped forward. “You’re mad at me.”
“Close the door, Tamara. Please, I want to go home.”
She stared at his profile, down to his determined hand on the gearshift before she shut the door. “Okay. I’m sorry, Josh.”
He backed the car out and gunned the engine to the main road.
***
Tamara ended the call to Clair de Lune.
The restaurant didn’t open until eleven a.m., and she had two hours to go. She returned her hands to the keyboard and kept inputting information into the computer’s database system. By eleven-thirty, she had seen one client and taken two phone calls. She picked up the receiver, dialed the number, and was informed that Josh wouldn’t be in today.
“Really? Is it his day off?” Tamara asked.
“No, he called out.”
He called out?
Josh mentioned in past conversations that he never did that. He was very dedicated to his business. How strange. She punched in his number and went straight to his voicemail, so she left a message for him instead.
“Hmmm. He always answers his cell. Maybe he’s busy?”
Thirty minutes later, she tried again and was routed a second time to his voicemail. Very strange.
Four-thirty came and went, but Josh still hadn’t called her back. Was he ill? Normally, he called her back before she even left him an entire voicemail. Her thoughts kept returning to the unhappy ending of last night’s date. He couldn’t still be upset, could he?
She checked her answering machine at home and found no messages awaiting her. Josh was ignoring her, but why? Why was he cold, all of a sudden?
She took out the yellow sheet of scrap piece of paper with Josh’s address and ran out of her house, determined to find out if he was at home.
- CHAPTER SEVENTEEN -
Josh shrugged his shoulders as tears blurred his vision. He’d just about given up the very last string of hope he had of ever being with Tamara. Despite the fact they basically lived with each other, she seemed no closer to sealing the deal with him. In fact, there were times she seemed to be back pedaling when he was ready to move forward.
It was astounding how a few simple words changed one’s entire outlook. When Tamara reiterated her boundaries last night, it triggered a sinking feeling in his gut that she was never going to let him in. Tamara was the only girl in the world fo
r him, but the closer Josh seemed to get, the further she pushed him away.
It would have only taken three simple words, “I love you”, to alleviate his fears. If she uttered these words with her magnificent, kissable lips, he’d worship her for the rest of his life. Yet, Tamara still refused to say them.
He was beginning to formulate a Plan B—joining a wolf pack that would accept an outsider.
Within the pack, Josh would do his duty and couple with a mate to propagate the species. He didn’t relish in the idea, but it was better than spending the rest of his life alone. Maybe he’d find someone who’d been burned by their mate as well. They could take solace in each other’s company and share their lives together.
A light knock on the front door interrupted his rambling thoughts. Whoever it was, Josh didn’t care. He wasn’t going to be bothered by anyone today, much less an unexpected visitor. He turned to his side when the knock sounded once again. This time it lingered in the air and he heard his name.
His ears perked up reflexively, and Josh strained to make it out, though he had no plans to answer the door unless his restaurant was burning down to the ground.
When he heard the knock again, Josh’s eyes snapped open at the familiar voice resonating through the walls of his apartment. It was her.
“Josh, please open the door. We need to talk.”
He sensed Tamara’s presence, and smelled her sweet, delectable, and yet tortuous scent throughout the walls of his home. What was she doing here? Did she come back to torment him with sweet images of what would never be?
The phone rang, and her voice sounded on the answering machine. “Josh, I know you’re home. I saw your car in the parking garage. Please, open the door. I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me. I need you.”
The musical sound of her voice pierced straight into his heart. Here, she was doing even further damage when he considered it impossible.
Damn it. He needed her, too.