CHAPTER XI.
PLANNING A VISIT.
"Well, now that that is settled," said the major with a sigh of relief,"I suppose we had better start off and see whether Fortyforefoot willattend to this business of getting the provisions for us."
"Yes," said the sprite. "The major is right there, Jimmieboy. You havedelayed so long on the way that it is about time you did something, andthe only way I know of for you to do it is by getting hold ofFortyforefoot. If you wanted an apple pie and there was nothing in sightbut a cart-wheel he would change it into an apple pie for you."
"That's all very well," replied Jimmieboy, "but I'm not going to call onany giant who'd want to eat me. You might just as well understand thatright off. I'll try on your invisible coat and if that makes meinvisible I'll go. If it doesn't we'll have to try some other plan."
"That is the prudent thing to do," said the major, nodding his approvalto the little general. "As my poem tries to teach, it is always wise touse your eyes--or look before you leap. The way it goes is this:
'If you are asked to make a jump, Be careful lest you prove a gump-- Awake or e'en in sleep-- Don't hesitate the slightest bit To show that you've at least the wit To look before you leap.
Why, in a dream one night, I thought A fellow told me that I ought To jump to Labrador. I did not look but blindly hopped, And where do you suppose I stopped? Bang! On my bedroom floor!
I do not say, had I been wise Enough that time to use my eyes-- As I've already said-- To Labrador I would have got: But this _is_ certain, I would not Have tumbled out of bed.'
"The moral of which is, be careful how you go into things, and if youare not certain that you are coming out all right don't go into them,"added the major. "Why, when I was a mouse----"
"Oh, come, major--you couldn't have been a mouse," interrupted thesprite. "You've just told us all about what you've been in the past, andyou couldn't have been all that and a mouse too."
"So I have," said the major, with a smile. "I'd forgotten that, and youare right, too. I couldn't have been a mouse. I should have put what Iwas going to say differently. If I had ever been a mouse--that's the wayit should be--if I had ever been a mouse and had been foolish enough tostick my head into a mouse-trap after a piece of cheese without knowingthat I should get it out again, I should not have been here to-day, inall likelihood. Therefore the general is right. Try on the invisiblecoat, Jimmieboy, and let's see how it works before you risk calling onFortyforefoot."
"Here it is," said the sprite, holding out his hands with apparentlynothing in them.
Jimmieboy laughed a little, it seemed so odd to have a person say "hereit is" and yet not be able to see the object referred to. He reached outhis hand, however, to take the coat, relying upon the sprite's statementthat it was there, and was very much surprised to find that his hand didactually touch something that felt like a coat, and in fact was a coat,though entirely invisible.
"Shall I help you on with it?" asked the major.
"Perhaps you'd better," said Jimmieboy. "It feels a little small forme."
"That's what I was afraid of," said the sprite. "You see it covers meall over from head to foot--that is the coat covers all but my head andthe hood covers that--but you are very much taller than I am."
Here Jimmieboy, having at last got into the coat and buttoned it abouthim, had the strange sensation of seeing all of himself disappearexcepting his head and legs. These remaining uncovered were of coursestill in sight.
"Ha-ha-ha!" laughed the major, merrily, as Jimmieboy walked around."That is the most ridiculous thing I ever saw. You're nothing but a headand pair of legs."
Jimmieboy smiled and placed the hood over his head and the major roaredlouder than ever.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha!" he cried. "Oh, my--oh, dear! That's funnier still--nowyou're nothing but a pair of legs. Hee-hee-hee! Take it off quick orI'll die with laughter."
Jimmieboy took off the hood.
"I'm afraid it won't do, Spritey," he said. "Fortyforefoot would see mylegs and if he caught them I'd be lost."
"That's a fact," said the sprite, thoughtfully. "The coat is almost twofeet too short for you."
"It's more than two feet too short," laughed the major. "It's two wholelegs too short."
"This is no time for joking," said the sprite. "We've too much to talkabout to use our mouths for laughing."
"All right," said the major. "I won't get off any more, or if I do theywon't be the kind to make you laugh. They will be sad jokes--like yours.But I say, boys," he added, "I have a scheme. It is of course the schemeof a soldier and may be attended by danger, but if it is successful allthe more credit to the one who succeeds. We three people can attackFortyforefoot openly, capture him, and not let him go until he providesus with the provisions."
"That sounds lovely," sneered the sprite. "But I'd like to know some ofthe details of this scheme. It is easy enough to say attack him, capturehim and not let him go, but the question is, how shall we do all this?"
"It ought to be easy," returned the major. "There are only three thingsto be done. The first is to attack him. That certainly ought to be easy.A kitten can attack an elephant if it wants to. The second is to capturehim, which, while it seems hard, is not really so if the attack isproperly made. The third is not to let him go."
"Clear as a fog," put in the sprite. "But go on."
"Now there are three of us--Jimmieboy, Spriteyboy and Yourstrulyboy,"continued the major, "so what could be more natural than that we shoulddivide up these three operations among us? Nothing! Therefore I proposethat Jimmieboy here shall attack Fortyforefoot; the sprite shall capturehim and throw him into a dungeon cell and I will crown the work by notletting him go."
"Magnificent!" said the sprite. "Jimmieboy and I take all the danger Inotice."
"Yes," returned the major. "I am utterly unselfish aboutit. I am willing to put myself in the background and let you have allthe danger and most of the glory. I only come in at the very end--but Idon't mind that. I have had glory enough for ten life-times, so whyshould I grudge you this one little bit of it? My feelings in regard toglory will be found on the fortieth page of Leaden Lyrics or the Balladsof Ben Bullet--otherwise myself. The verses read as follows:
'Though glory, it must be confessed, Is satisfying stuff, Upon my laurels let me rest For I have had enough.
Ne'er was a glorier man than I, Ne'er shall a glorier be, Than, trembling reader, you'll espy-- When haply you spy me.
So bring no more--for while 'tis good To have, 'tis also plain A bit of added glory would Be apt to make me vain.'
And I don't want to be vain," concluded the major.
"Well, I don't want any of your glory," said the sprite, "and if I knowJimmieboy I don't think he does either. If you want to reverse yourorder of things and do the dangerous part of the work yourself, we willdo all in our power to make your last hours comfortable, and I will seeto it that the newspapers tell how bravely you died, but we can't gointo the scheme any other way."
"You talk as if you were the general's prime minister, or his nurse,"retorted the major, "whereas in reality I, being his chief of staff, amthey if anybody are."
Here the major blushed a little because he was not quite sure of hisgrammar. Neither of his companions seemed to notice the mixture,however, and so he continued:
"General, it is for you to say. Shall my plan go or shall she stay?"
"Well, I think myself, major, that it is a little too dangerous for me,and if any other plan could be made I'd like it better," answeredJimmieboy, anxious to soothe the major's feelings which were evidentlygetting hurt again. "Suppose I go back and order the soldiers to attackFortyforefoot and bring him in chains to me?"
"Couldn't be done," said the sprite. "The minute the chains were clappedon him he would change them into doughnuts and eat them all up."
"Yes,"
put in the major, "and the chances are he would turn the soldiersinto a lot of toy balloons on a string and then cut the string."
"He couldn't do that," said the sprite, "because he can't turn people oranimals into anything. His power only applies to things."
"Then what shall we do?" said Jimmieboy, in despair.
"Well, I think the best thing to do would be for me to change myselfinto a giant bigger than he is," said the sprite. "Then I could put youand the major in my pockets and call upon Fortyforefoot and ask him, ina polite way, to turn some pebbles and sticks and other articles intothe things we want, and, if he won't do it except he is paid, we'll payhim if we can."
"What do you propose to pay him with?" asked the major. "I supposeyou'll hand him half a dozen checkerberries and tell him if he'll turnthem into ten one dollar bills he'll have ten dollars. Fine way to dobusiness that."
"No," said the sprite, mildly. "You can't tempt Fortyforefoot withmoney. It is only by offering him something to eat that we can hope toget his assistance."
"Ah? And you'll request him to turn a handful of pine cones into a dozenturkeys on toast, I presume?" asked the major.
"I shall do nothing of the sort. I shall simply offer to let him haveyou for dinner--you will serve up well in croquettes--Bluefacecroquettes--eh, Jimmieboy?" laughed the sprite.
The poor major turned white with fear and rage. At first he feltinclined to slay the sprite on the spot, and then it suddenly flashedacross his mind that before he could do it the sprite might really turnhimself into a giant and do with him as he had said. So he contentedhimself with turning pale and giving a sickly smile.
"That would be a good joke on me," he said. "But really, my dear Mr.Sprite, I don't think I would enjoy it, and after all I have a sort ofnotion that I would disagree with Fortyforefoot--which would beextremely unfortunate. I know I should rest like lead on hisdigestion--and that would make him angry with you and I should besacrificed for nothing."
"Well, I wouldn't consent to that anyhow," said Jimmieboy. "I love themajor too much to----"
"So do we all," interrupted the sprite. "Why even I love the major and Iwouldn't let anybody eat him for anything--no, sir!--not if I wereoffered a whole vanilla eclaire would I permit the major to be eaten.But my scheme is the only one possible. I will turn myself into a gianttwice as big as Fortyforefoot; I will place you and the major in mypockets and then I will call upon him. He will be so afraid of me thathe will do almost anything I ask him to, but to make him give us thevery best things he can make I would rather deal gently with him, andinstead of forcing him to make the peaches and cherries I'll offer totrade you two fellows off for the things we need. He will be pleasedenough at the chance to get anything so good to eat as you look, andhe'll prepare everything for us, and he will put you down stairs in thepantry. Then I will tell him stories, and some of the major's jokes, tomake him sleepy, and when finally he dozes off I will steal the pantrykey and set you free. How does that strike you, general?"
"It's a very good plan unless Fortyforefoot should find us so toothsomelooking that he would want to eat us raw. We may be nothing more thanfruit for him, you know, and truly I don't want to be anybody's apple,"said Jimmieboy.
"You are quite correct there, general," said the major, with a chuckle."In fact, I'm quite sure he'd think you and I were fruit because beingtwo we are necessarily a pear."
"It won't happen," said the sprite. "He isn't likely to think you arefruit and even if he does I won't let him eat you. I'll keep him fromdoing it if I have to eat you myself."
"Oh, of course, then, with a kind promise like that there is nothingleft for us to do but accept your proposition," said themajor. "As Ben Bullet says:
'When only one thing can be done-- If people only knew it-- The wisest course beneath the sun Is just to go and do it.'"
"I'm willing to take my chances," said Jimmieboy, "if after I see whatkind of a giant you can turn yourself into I think you are terribleenough to frighten another giant."
"Well, just watch me," said the sprite, taking off his coat. "And mind,however terrifying I may become, don't you get frightened, because Iwon't hurt you."
"Go ahead," said the major, valiantly. "Wait until we get scared beforetalking like that to us."
"One, two, three!" cried the sprite. "Presto! Change!
'Bazam, bazam, A sprite I am, Bazoo, bazee, A giant I'd be.'"
Then there came a terrific noise; the trees about the little group shookto the very last end of their roots, all grew dark as night, and asquickly grew light again. In the returning light Jimmieboy saw loomingup before him a fearful creature, eighty feet high, clad in amagnificent suit embroidered with gold and silver, a fierce mustacheupon his lip, and dangling at his side was a heavy sword.
It was the sprite now transformed into a giant--a terrible-lookingfellow, though to Jimmieboy he was not terrible because the boy knewthat the dreadful creature was only his little friend in disguise.
"How do I look?" came a bellowing voice from above the trees.
"First rate. Horribly frightful. I'm sure you'll do, and I am ready,"said Jimmieboy, with a laugh. "What do you think, major?"
But there came no answer, and Jimmieboy, looking about him to see whythe major made no reply, was just in time to see that worthy soldier'scoat-tails disappearing down the road.
The major was running away as fast as he could go.
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