The venue was more or less a large bar in the heart of Austin’s Warehouse District. Wynne and the rest of the car ran ahead to prepare, while I stayed behind to wait for my cock to deflate. Chaz decided to stay with me.
“Olivia told me about your conversation,” he announced. I made a note to never confide in her again. “Give Wynne some time. I mean, it’s not every day that you see your boyfriend getting hammered in the ass by another dude.”
Sick of being this dickhead’s punching bag and now limp as a noodle, I said, “Fuck off, Chaz,” and started for the door.
“Wait!” he called. I slowly turned and waited for him to catch up. “That was uncool. Seriously, I’m sorry. Look, I know you think this is about Wynne, but it’s about more than that. It’s about redemption. It’s about showing all those fuckers who tried to break you down that they failed. I know you want to pack your shit and go, but I’m asking you, we’re asking you not to.” I was touched by his words. Of course, I didn’t let him know this.
“Awww, that’s so . . . sweet. I didn’t realize you cared,” I teased.
“Fuck off,” he growled, and stormed away.
“Does this mean we’re BFF’s now?” I called after him. Two middle fingers shot into the air, and I laughed. Then I followed him inside.
The show couldn’t have gone better. From Wynne’s slightly subdued, yet brilliantly executed opening, to Meltdown’s electrifying performance, it was fucking spectacular. Wynne held her own on stage. Not only did Meltdown publicly promote her music, but they asked her to go on tour with them as their opening act. I couldn’t have been happier. And even though the fuckers should have run it by me first, my beautiful girl was getting everything she deserved. I had a feeling that “To Hell and Back”—the song she sang with Grant—would find its way onto their next album.
Shortly after the show, the security team escorted us back to the SUVs. It didn’t take long for me to realize that Wynne wasn’t with us. One of the security guards offered to retrieve her and I told him I had it handled. At first glance, she didn’t appear to be in the dressing room. I was about to leave when I noticed the light shining from beneath the bathroom door. It wasn’t until I knocked that I heard the sobs. The thought that she was crying alone in some bathroom bothered me, and with a twist of the handle, I opened the door and shoved my way inside.
The pain on her face as I pulled her into my arms gutted me. She stiffened, then let out a quiet sob, and melted against me. Her intoxicating scent, the feel of her body pressed to mine, everything about her, felt right, and I knew that this was where I wanted to be, where I belonged.
“You’re killing me, beautiful. Please, talk to me.” I felt her tense beneath me, and thought, Don’t do it. One moment she was in my arms and the next she was two feet away and glaring at me. Her gorgeous face twisted into bitterness as she angrily swiped at her tears, and I braced for it.
“You want me to talk? What exactly would you like for me to say, Sander?” She spat my name like a dirty word. “That I swing both ways? That I had a baby with another man? Or that I’m a master manipulator? Oh, no, that’s you. You had every opportunity to tell me, but you didn’t. I’m not perfect, but at least I’m not a liar. You used me. You’re still using me. You don’t give a damn about me and you never have.” Olivia had called it. Wynne knew. I stepped toward her and she jerked back. The bathroom wall prevented her from going far.
“Funny, I thought that you, of all people, would give me the benefit of the doubt, you know, being that you love me so much and all. You’re right, I had a chance to tell you and didn’t. Why? Because I wanted to protect you from shit like this. It doesn’t matter what I say, because you’ve already judged and found me guilty.” I leaned in and her breath hitched. “Tell me one thing, was it me you loved?” I wanted her to feel my body, every inch of my hard-as-fuck cock, pressing against her. “Or was it my cock?” I finished on a whisper.
“Fuck you!” she shouted, but I had already turned and was heading out the door.
On the way out, I snagged a baseball cap from a rack on the wall. Instead of going back to the others, I headed toward the front of the building and melted into the crowd. It was over. I would announce my resignation first thing in the morning. After that, I planned on getting the hell out of dodge, and that would be that. I made it halfway down the street when Alex called. Next came Olivia, followed by Chaz. After Chaz, I powered off my phone. Fuck them. Fuck Wynne. Fuck everyone. I had a date with a bottle.
“Is that Sander James?” I heard someone behind me say. Without checking to see who it was, I sped up to a fast walk and slipped through the closest open doorway, which just so happened to be a bar. It was my lucky night.
I bellied up to the bar and decided to start light by ordering a beer. While waiting for it to arrive, I took a moment to check out my surroundings. The place seemed familiar.
“Here you go,” the bartender said. The bottle landed in front of me with a loud plonk, and that’s when it hit me. This was the bar where Dale and I first met. Back when Indigo Road was at its peak and Meltdown was just beginning. Back before addiction had us both by the balls. Before Dale lost his life, and I lost . . . everything. I sat there for a long time staring at the bottle, thinking about where I’d been and where I wanted to go. Then I stood up, slapped a twenty on the bar, and walked out. On the way to the door, I called Alex and told him to come get me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
* * *
“BELIEVE”
Wynne
Sander was gone. There was no doubt in my mind that it was for good this time. The look of disgust on his face as he questioned me and my love for him, was seared into my brain. He was done with me. My fingers gripped the sides of the sink as I stared into the mirror. The person staring back at me wasn’t on top of the world. No, she looked lost. She looked empty, as if she was drowning in regret.
“I don’t want this anymore,” I whispered.
“Wynne,” a voice called from outside the bathroom door. Olivia had found me. “Wynne, are you in there?”
“Coming,” I called out. I tried to wipe the mascara off my face, but it wouldn’t budge, so I turned on the faucet. Cold water and paper towels did the trick. Minutes later, I pulled the door open and exited the bathroom.
Olivia was sitting on the sofa, bent over with her fingers in her hair. She perked up when she saw me standing there. I couldn’t look at her face, so I opted for a spot on the wall directly over her shoulder.
“I’m not sure which is worse, that you and Sander were together, that you two have a child together, or that you tricked me into signing the contract.”
“There is no child.” The words whooshed from her lips on an exhale so fast that I almost missed them. I did not, however, miss the heartache behind them. It was this that made me lower my gaze and actually look at her. She looked like I felt—defeated. “I never meant for any of this to happen. Please believe me.”
“Why should I believe anything you say?”
Her shoulders lifted into a shrug. “You probably shouldn’t, but I’m going to try anyway. It’s the least I can do.” She patted the cushion beside her, but I didn’t budge. I didn’t want to sit by her. I didn’t want to be anywhere near her.
Olivia began talking about her relationship with Sander—her obsession with him, his fall into addiction, and finding out that she was pregnant. It was hard to hear and I was thankful for her lack of emotion. She then went on to explain who Gio was and what he and their manager, Frank, had done, not only to split them up, but to keep them apart. As she talked about the lies and manipulations, I found myself moving closer. The emotion came when she got to the part about losing the baby, and I wiped the tears. By then, I’d settled in next to her. I couldn’t begin to imagine what she’d been through. She moved on to Sander’s stint in rehab and how proud she was that he’d finally gotten help and then told me how she’d come to work for Meltdown and about a mini tour that had happened with Indigo R
oad. That’s when the truth had finally come out. Sander never knew about the pregnancy, the baby, or any of it. Gio and Frank had kept it from him. This was why Sander had left Indigo Road, and why the band had split up.
“Why didn’t you two get back together?” I asked. The look of horror on her face almost made me laugh.
“The best and worst thing that ever happened to Sander and me was Gio Rizzini. It was because of Gio’s lies and manipulations that I was finally able to free myself from my obsession. If the baby had lived, my life would have turned out so different. I would have been forever tied to Sander and would have never met Chaz. By the time he came into my life, I was able to see him for what he was.” An ass, I thought. My facial expression must have given me away, because she laughed. “He’s a turd, but I love him. I’m not talking some crazy infatuation, either, but real, to the depths of my bones, love. It was because of Gio and that awful video that Sander finally got clean. Look, the whole reason I’m telling you all of this is to prove to you that Sander is not that man anymore. I’m not going to sugar coat his faults. He’s a recovering addict and that addiction nearly destroyed both of our lives, but he’s clean now.” She gave me a stern look, before adding, “He’s also crazy about you, Wynne.”
“No, Olivia. He’s done with me.”
“I’m sure that’s not the case. If you only knew what he’s done for you.”
“What has he done besides keep me in the dark? Oh, he’s lied to me and let’s not forget the manipulation part. He can say he’s protecting me, but you and I both know that’s bullshit. He didn’t want me to find out about you, or Gio, or any of it.”
“Of course, he didn’t. Gio and I are a part of his past. You are his future. Why would he want you to know about the worst moments of his life?”
I struggled with how to ask it, and finally just said, “Tell me about the video.”
“You have to understand how bad it was back then. Sander was using all the time. Gio would get him high and take advantage of the situation. He hid his true intentions by making sure to always have a woman involved in the mix. Then I arrived, and Sander wasn’t interested in that anymore. Gio hated me. I didn’t realize how much until it was too late. He probably taped it to get me out of the picture.” She laughed. “I thought Sander had stopped using. Who knows, maybe he did, but as long as Gio was pulling his strings, it was never going last.”
“So, what are you saying, that Gio loved him?”
“More like worshipped him. Gio was poison to Sander, a kind of sickness. Can you see why Sander didn’t tell you? How do you tell someone that?”
A thought occurred, and I grabbed onto the edge of the sofa. “Did Gio leak the video to get back at Sander?”
“Even worse, he sold the video to Jayne for ten thousand dollars, and all so he could score some drugs.” Gio was a shit, but Jayne, she was downright evil.
My heart hurt for Sander, but I still had questions, the main one being, “What exactly is Sander’s involvement with Happenstance?” Her hesitation made me tense. “Tell me.” She finally relented.
“The same night that Ferris ruined the finale, Sander taped his conversation with Jayne. He wasn’t planning on using it, but that changed when he met with Greg Allen at XtBS. Sander demanded that Greg make it right, but Greg basically told him the same thing Jayne had, that the ratings mattered more. I think this was when Sander realized that his hands were tied. There was no way to get you the title you deserved, but there were other options.”
“Happenstance,” I whispered, and she nodded.
“Chaz and I were hanging out at the house when Sander called. He wanted me to sign you to our label. He didn’t know that I’d already contacted you and that we’d made plans to meet up in Florida. Chaz being Chaz decided to mess with him, and the next thing I knew, they were negotiating your contract.” I could tell she was still holding back.
“Go ahead, you’ve gone this far. You might as well tell me the rest.”
She rested her head on the sofa behind her, and sighed. “Sander wanted us to pay you six hundred thousand dollars. Chaz told him that we were only willing to pay two hundred. Keep in mind that Sander is my ex and Chaz is a jealous ass, so you can see where this was going. Sander told us that he would pay four hundred of it, just as long as we agreed to sign you. He then added in the condition that he wanted to be your manager, but that he didn’t want you to know about it. I didn’t want to keep it from you, but Chaz agreed.” Wow, talk about convoluted.
“Did he say why?”
“Truthfully, I think he didn’t want to influence your decision. I also think he wanted for it to be a surprise.” I was surprised alright. She reached over and touched my arm. “Sander doesn’t know it yet, but we didn’t take his money. We think you’re worth every penny and more.” I quietly thanked her. “I know this is a lot to absorb, but I’m going to tell you something and I really need for you to hear it. Sander loves you. I’m talking, to the depths of his bones, loves you.”
“More like to the depths of his bo-ner,” Chaz said from the doorway. Olivia rolled her eyes at me, and I laughed. I mean, really laughed. “Are we all good, because I’m tired and hungry and really want to get laid sometime in the near future,” he grumbled. Olivia gave me a questioning look and I nodded. We were good. “Thank fuck,” Chaz muttered as we both stood to leave. The guy really was an ass. On my way past him, he whispered, “You killed it tonight.” Okay, so maybe he could occasionally be a nice ass.
On the drive back to their house I decided that I wanted to see Sander. I wanted to know if what Olivia said was true. Did he love me? I felt I owed it to myself to find out, so I sent him a text and told him to meet me at the bottom of Chaz and Olivia’s driveway in an hour. He didn’t respond and I told myself that this was the last time. If he didn’t show tonight, then it was really and truly over.
Forty minutes later, I left Chaz and Olivia in the kitchen—him belching the alphabet and her frying bacon—and quietly slipped out the door. I’d changed clothes as soon as we’d gotten back to the house and was wearing lightweight track pants and an old Indigo Road T-shirt that Olivia had placed at the foot of my bed. I bet Chaz would be more than happy to see that shirt go away. With my heart lodged in my throat, I stood at the bottom of the driveway praying that Sander would show. Twenty minutes went by. Then twenty-five. Then thirty. He wasn’t coming. I turned to head back inside and let out an “Oomph” as I ran smack into a broad, masculine chest.
“Took you long enough,” he murmured.
My forehead dropped to his chest, and I whispered, “You’re here.” Slowly, his arms came around me. He smelled like laundry detergent and cigarettes—something we would definitely be discussing at a later date.
“What changed your mind?” he asked.
I thought about not telling him, but then thought, no more secrets, and answered, “Olivia.”
I felt him tense. “Oh?”
“She told me about the two of you. And about Gio,” I added. I pulled back so I could see his face, and said, “but I want to hear it from you.” He gave me a nod, and I took his hand and led him around the back of the house to the patio. As we sank onto the outdoor sofa, I asked him to tell me about the video.
“You would have to start there.” His dry reply made me smile.
“Okay, tell me this, then. Do you still have feelings for him?”
“Who, Gio? No. To be honest, I’m not sure if I ever did. It was a fucked-up time in my life. A time I would like to forget about.” I pulled back and he grasped my hand. “Ask your questions, Wynne.”
“Do you like—” I took a deep swallow and tried to search for the right words.
“Do I like what, men?” he finished for me. I studied my hands, afraid to look at him for fear of what he was going to say. “Hey, look at me.” I gave him my eyes, and he said, “I’m not going to lie. I’ve been with men, not many, but some. I prefer women, but none of this matters, because I love you. I should have said
it that morning in the hotel room. Fuck,” he blew out a breath, “I should have said a lot of things. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, not like this. I was trying so damn hard to protect you. I love you. I—” I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He let out a noise, somewhere between a whimper and a groan, before lifting me up and planting me on his lap.
“I love you, too,” I murmured against his mouth.
“You do realize there are beds inside the house,” Chaz said. I screamed and Sander busted into laughter.
“Thanks, man,” Sander said as he hoisted me off the sofa and carried me inside the house. I guided him to my bedroom and he placed me on my feet on the carpeted floor. “As much as I want you, Sexy Girl, tonight isn’t about that.” I gave him my best pouty face and he laughed.
“I love it when you laugh.” His expression softened.
Once we were settled onto the bed, he asked how I found out about him and Olivia and I told him to take a wild guess.
“Jayne?”
“No, Ferris texted me and told me to tell you to drop the lawsuit. When I told him to go away he asked if I was sure that I wanted to work for your ex-girlfriend and baby mama. I did my research and found pictures of the two of you, and that’s when I knew it was true.”
Sander traced a finger across my face. “It was a long time ago.”
“I know.”
“Ferris is a menace. I think I’ll keep the suit against him,” he murmured. I thought that was a grand idea.
Lifting up to my elbow, I stared down at him, studied him . . . memorized him. I couldn’t believe that he was actually here, that we were really together. “Tonight, what I said in the bathroom . . . I was angry.”
Rock Star Romance Ultimate: Volume 1 Page 84