“You lying asshole!” War finally shouted his face a furious mask. “How long you been fucking my woman behind my back?”
“It’s not like that…” But I never got the chance to complete that thought. Without warning, War’s fist flashed out and connected with my jaw.
I took a step back, gingerly touching a thumb to the blood on my lip. My gaze narrowed. “I’ll give you that one, but let’s take this somewhere else. I don’t want to talk about this out here.”
“I don’t care what you want.” My guts wrenched. “I trusted you, Bryan. Like a brother.” He shook his head. “Can’t believe you’d do this to me.”
“I love her, man.”
“Don’t we all.” His lips twisted. He turned to Dizzy. “You know about this?”
Dizzy nodded uncomfortably.
“Listen.” I pulled in a calming breath through my nose. Time to get this out. “It was only that one time in high school.” My brows pulled together as my eyes met his. “But I’ve wanted there to be more between us, and you need to know I’ve asked her to choose.” I didn’t tell War that if she chose him that I wasn’t going to quit trying. And I guess that’s what it all came down to. War and me, our friendship, having each other’s backs, that shit always came first with him. Everything and everyone else was a distant second. The Morris deal was proof of that. He didn’t see the conflict I had because there wasn’t one for him. If he were in my place, I knew in my gut that he wouldn’t have any problem walking away from her.
For me it was never that simple.
War’s jaw tightened. “You guys covering for Bullet, too?” His eyes sliced into me before cutting to Sager and King.
“Leave us out of it,” King fired back.
“That’s his plan,” I bit out. “As long as we’re clearing the air, let’s get everything out in the open.” I threw up my hands. “War’s taking an exclusive deal from Zenith. He’s breaking up the band.”
“What the fuck, asshole?” That from King, our large angry Latino drummer’s eyes were flared.
“You’re so full of shit.” I held War’s gaze and gave it to him, the destructive truth pouring out of me like pus from an infected wound. “Acting all self-righteous. Giving us that tired worn out old speech about the band being a priority. None of us are a priority to you, Warren. Not Lace, not me, not the guys. To you we’re all replaceable.”
Suddenly the hair on the back of my neck stood up again. It wasn’t that watched feeling I’d had with Lace earlier. It was more like an icy chill, like cold fingertips running up my spine. I glanced over my shoulder. A couple of paramedics jogged past toward the elevators rolling a stretcher between them.
I turned back to the unfolding scene. Dizzy’s light brown eyes were narrowed with accusation.
“You’re the one who’s replaceable,” King warned, looming over War, Sager at his side. “Pinche guero culero.”
The chill I’d just had suddenly morphed into a horrible premonition the moment I heard Dizzy’s cell phone buzz.
Dizzy’s expression transformed from puzzlement to shock as he fielded the call. Then suddenly, without a word, he broke for the bank of elevators at a flat out run.
My veins flooded with ice water. I bolted after him. I caught him at the elevator, jumping in just as the doors closed.
Face pale, Dizzy looked at me. “Those guys that just went by are for Lace. Beth found her in her room. His eyes began to tear up. “Bryan, she isn’t breathing.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
* * *
Lace
A low humming sound hovered around the edges of my consciousness while a diffuse bright light up ahead propelled me forward. As I followed it, the light coalesced into rays of sunlight streaming through the trees.
“Lace,” his deep familiar voice called.
I blinked, dragging my eyes away from the fresh tilled dirt and craned my neck around to look at him. Hands in the front pocket of his dark jeans, wind blowing his hair into his grey green eyes, he shuffled forward. “War’s looking for you.”
I shrugged, disinterested, returning my attention to the grave marker in front of me. My hands balled into fists.
How dare that bitch die on me.
Without saying anything, he dropped down to the ground beside me. He didn’t ask if he could join me and I wasn’t about to tell him he couldn’t. I needed him. More than anyone else. War hadn’t known what to say to me. I could tell he was worried, but he didn’t really understand.
My mother’s death had totally shaken me. Not because she’d overdosed, but because she was gone. My anger toward her had fueled my fervor to succeed. Now that she wasn’t here, how was I going to prove her wrong? Show her that I was worth something.
We sat silently together. I could hear the steady hum of the traffic from the nearby freeway. I continued to stare blankly at my mother’s name on the tombstone. His warm hand covered my own. Nothing in my entire life felt more right than that hand on mine.
“Did you ever go back to University House to see her?” Bryan’s soft question broke the silence.
“Once,” I admitted, with a sigh. “She didn’t even know who I was.”
“I’m sorry, Lace.” He squeezed my hand.
“Don’t be. I knew how she was. I was stupid to think she would ever change. You ever try to see your father?”
“No. Last I saw of him was in middle school. Good riddance if you ask me.”
I nodded. Having a shitty parent was a bond we shared. “She can rot in hell for all I care.”
“You’re not her, Lace Lowell,” he surprised me by saying.
“No, I’m not,” I agreed. “I’m getting out of here. I’m going to make something out of my life.”
“I know you will.” Bryan’s voice resonated with sincerity. His faith in me had never wavered. “You ever hear back from the counselor about your scholarship application to U of W?”
I shook my head. “That’s a long shot. They have over two thousand applicants for that one spot.” I pulled my hand free, smoothing both palms over my jeans as he continued to watch me. “Anyway, it only covered books and tuition, not living expenses.”
“Your uncle hasn’t changed his mind about you staying on after you graduate?”
“No. He’s getting remarried and his fiancée has kids of her own. They’re gonna have a full house as it is.”
“You could stay with us.”
My eyebrows lifted, I gave him a measured look. “I don’t think that would be such a good idea, do you?”
“I guess not.”
We both got quiet. Something way beyond friendship had been building between us lately that neither one of us was ready to address.
I pulled my knees up and dropped my chin to them. I could feel him watching me. “I’m not going to cry for her,” I whispered.
“I don’t expect you to.”
“I lost track of how many times she told me I was a burden to her. Mostly she ignored me. But there were a few times, usually when she was really wasted that she would let me crawl into her lap.” I pressed my lips together. “She’d stroke my back and sing to me.”
I risked a glance at him. He returned my look, the light of empathy shining in those beautiful eyes.
“It’s those few times with my old man that were really good that made me hate him. It’s so unexpected. It almost felt like a betrayal.”
I looked away, nodding. That’s exactly how I’d felt with her. “Why didn’t she love me, Bry?” That was it really, the part that bothered me the most about her passing. She might have been the world’s worst mother, but there was a part of me, a part that I despised, that still longed for her approval.
His arms went around me. His chin rested on the top of my head. I leaned back into him, my throat constricting so tightly it burned like fire.
“If only we could choose our parents, huh.” He kissed the top of my head and my knotted muscles loosened. “She was your mom, Lace,” he said softly. “But she was a
wretched human being. She didn’t deserve someone as wonderful as you.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The incessant buzzing sound in my ears grew louder.
Stop.
I wanted to stay back there in that memory.
Safe.
Cherished.
Comforted.
In Bryan’s arms.
The noise in my ears wouldn’t go away, though. It solidified into voices, strong assertive male voices.
“She’s coming around,” one of them said.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
* * *
Bryan
Hunched over in the uncomfortable plastic ICU chair, I slowly lifted my head from my hands as War returned with a cup of coffee.
“Any news?” he grunted, taking the chair opposite me.
I shook my head. War and I had formed an uneasy truce as we waited. I glanced at the ICU door for the umpteenth time. This had been our basic routine for the past twenty-four hours. Monosyllabic communication punctuated by visits from King and Sager and periodic updates from Dizzy. As a family member, he was the only one actually allowed back there with her.
My stomach was a massive churning burning ball, despite the most recent reassurance from Dizzy that she remained stable. Sure she was, for now…maybe, but what about the next time? Heroin sucked people into the vortex and more often than not, spit them back out in a pine box. I shouldn’t have let it matter whose girl she was. I should have dragged her off that bus right to the nearest rehab facility the moment I’d discovered that she was using.
Should’ve.
Shouldn’t.
Shit.
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, but the memory of that terrifying chaotic scene was something I couldn’t force out of my mind.
Beautiful vibrant Lace.
Gone.
Her body completely still as a corpse.
“Shane, I can’t find a vein. She’s used ’em all up,” the older paramedic stated in a clipped voice.
“Go for the intraosseous, then,” the other one directed, continuing to breath for her through a tube they’d put down her throat.
I felt as helpless as I’d been as a twelve year old boy when that drug dealer had hurt her. I stood in the doorway and watched them work on her.
Beside me, Dizzy breathed desperate bargains with God.
There was a pop and a crackly sound as they punched a large needle into Lace’s shin bone. Body in shock, muscles tensed tight, and hands fisted, I offered my own silent prayer.
C’mon, Lace.
Suddenly, her body jolted. Her eyes blinked open and her chest rose as she took in a loud shuddering breath that sounded more like a gurgle.
“Narcan’s working,” Shane stated matter of factly. He turned Lace’s head to the side. And then she spewed vomit all over the hotel carpet.
“Glad we had the ET tube in already.” The EMT wiped her face clean and reattached an oxygen bag. Together the two men lifted her onto the stretcher and tightened down the straps. “Let’s get her in.
Shane’s partner nodded and spoke into a receiver tacked to his shoulder, “We have a code three. Heading to the truck. ETA twelve minutes.”
“Stand back,” Shane barked when they reached the door.
I blinked rapidly, my eyes burning as I stared down at hers. They were totally unfocused. She was incoherent and thrashing violently but ineffectively against the restraints.
“Tighten the straps, man,” Shane ordered. “Narcan’s making her agitated.”
As they wheeled her past, Dizzy and I hurried after them. We had to take a different elevator and caught up with them in the lobby. I felt a ton of eyes tracking our progress. By then it registered that War had joined us, looking as freaked as we were.
Out on the circular drive, someone flashed a cell phone camera.
Beth Tate suddenly materialized as if out of thin air. She held up her hands. “No pictures, please. Show a little respect.”
I stood with Dizzy and War as the paramedics loaded Lace into the back of the ambulance.
“I’m her brother.” Dizzy jumped in the moment Shane’s partner clipped the stretcher into place. At the same time, War and I both reached for the handle to climb inside.
“Sorry, guys.” Shane’s partner shook his head. “Only one’s allowed in the back. We’re taking her over to Celebration Health. You can meet us there.”
Shane slammed the ambulance doors shut, and I’d felt like my heart had stopped as we watched the ambulance drive away.
***
Suddenly, the automatic ICU doors whooshed open.
“The breathing tube is out.” Dizzy gave us a strained smile. “The doctors say she’s gonna be ok. She’s awake. They’re moving her to a private room on the sixth floor.”
I let out a pent up sigh. Finally, I could see her. Talk to her. Touch her.
“She’s asking for you,” Dizzy announced.
Yes. I took a step forward.
“But War,” he continued. “I gotta warn you, she’s totally coherent. She knows all about the Morris deal and she’s pissed.”
Dizzy shot me an apologetic look before he moved off with him. I shoved my hands into my pockets, fingers clenched around the pack of cigarettes that I couldn’t smoke in the hospital. But I wasn’t about to go outside, not until I saw her.
I pressed my lips tight together. Deal with it, I told myself. You just have to wait a little longer.
I stood alone in the empty ICU waiting area that was cold and quiet except for the television droning in the background. I eliminated any other options. I didn’t want to upset her, but we had to talk. I was past done with letting War run the show. His method of “taking care of her” had almost gotten her killed. No way was I going to let them pick right back up where they’d left off.
I strode purposefully to the bank of elevators, raking my hand impatiently through my hair as I waited for it. Fortunately, it was fast. When I reached the sixth floor, the nurses lifted their eyes and threw speculative glances my way. I was quite a sight I’m sure as I clomped past the nursing station like Black Sabbath’s vengeful iron man in my heavy boots and leather pants. I found Dizzy waiting out in the hall outside her room.
“Hold up, Bryan. She’s still talking to War.”
The door was open and I peered over Dizzy’s shoulder. Looking extremely pale and fragile, Lace lay in the hospital bed with an IV pole beside her and her blond hair spread out around her face like a puddle of melted gold.
She didn’t see me. She was totally focused on War. One of her hands was in his. My eyes narrowed to jealous slits as I watched War sift a strand of her hair through his fingers. Lace’s lids drifted closed. Every single muscle in my body tensed. That was my cue. I should have left before it got worse.
But I didn’t.
“No.” Lace’s voice was as raspy as a two pack a day smoker. “But I will.” I watched a tear slide down her cheek and roll into her hair. “Dizzy said you know everything…about Bryan and me.”
Whatever War said in response was too low for me to hear.
“I’m sorry, War.” She nodded. “I’ve made a mess of it all. But I’m alive and for some reason God’s giving me a second chance. I’m going to take that chance and I’m going to do better. I’m tired of the roller coaster I’ve been on. I’m tired of all the lies, especially the ones I’ve been telling myself. I really thought I could quit whenever I decided. I realize now that’s not true.” She closed her eyes. “I had a really long conversation with the hospital social worker before I left the ICU. She asked if the overdose was a suicide attempt.”
“Was it, Lacey?” War asked softly.
“No, of course not.” She shook her head. “Though she helped me see that in a way that’s what I’ve been doing all along with the drugs. The end result is still the same. I know that self-medication is not the answer. I’ve got to face my problems.”
“It’s all my fault,” War admitted his voice deepened. “You being here.
I should never have given you the drugs in the first place. I never imagined something like this would happen.”
“Neither of us did.” She reached a hand up and touched War’s face.
“I love you, Lacey.”
“I love you, too, War.”
War leaned his head into her hand. Her declaration sliced through the stitches of hope that had been holding my heart together this past twenty four hours. Rubbing my hand against my chest, I turned away. A dark shroud descended on my thoughts. I forced my feet to move down the hall as my heart turned to stone.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
* * *
Lace
“A part of me will always love you.” I slid my hand away from War’s face. Our gazes tangled together for one long last moment. “You’ve been a huge part of my life for so long, Warren Jinkins. But I don’t feel like I really know you anymore.” My fingers twisted in the hospital sheet and I forced myself not to soften, though the regret that was so evident in his familiar features had me wavering. I stared down at the IV in my hand for a couple of monitor beeps before I continued. A clean break was the best for all of us. “You’ve changed, Warren, and not for the better. You’re not the guy I fell in love with.” If I hadn’t been so desperate, so drugged out I probably would have realized that sooner. “That guy didn’t keep secrets from me.”
He frowned. “Lace.” My name sounded like a plea on his lips.
“When were you planning to tell me about the Morris deal?”
“Nothing has been finalized,” he said defensively. “I was just putting out feelers. We’ve all talked about how totally undervalued we are by Black Cat.”
“That’s not what I heard from the others.” My eyes burned. I forced my heart to harden. “It’s really scary to me how quickly you would leave those loyal to you behind.”
Rock Star Romance Ultimate: Volume 1 Page 105