“I believe so.”
She chuckled and I felt her warm, sweet breath on my neck. “Good.”
I scooted an inch toward her. “May I kiss you, Mrs. Barnes?”
“Yes, please.”
I started with just her hair, playing with a strand. “So soft.” I kissed her, basking in the warmth of her skin as she wrapped her arm around my neck. The curve of her hip made me almost dizzy with desire. I would keep my head, I told myself. Patience and consideration were the keys to winning all of her.
When I pulled away, she touched my face with trembling fingers. “I feel something strange. Like an itch that I’m not supposed to scratch. Is that normal? Am I feeling what a wife should?”
I laughed as I traced her mouth with my thumb. “I’m not sure anyone would describe desire as an itch, but if I’m understanding correctly, then yes.”
She moved her hand down the contours of my chest. “Do I touch you too?”
“If you’d like.” I closed my eyes as she flattened her hand against my stomach.
“Theo Barnes, I love you. With such a large love that it might eat me all up.” She giggled. “I don’t know what that means.”
Tears had gathered at the corners of my eyes. “It means you love me.”
“Yes, it does.”
She pulled me down to kiss her again. Marriage, I decided, was a very good thing.
I woke to light behind the drawn curtains. Next to me, Louisa slept curled into a ball with her back toward me. I crept out of bed and to the bathroom to use the toilet as well as bathe and shave. As I mixed the shaving soap with my brush, I thought about what had happened during the night. My wedding night had been everything I’d hoped for and more.
I hung my head over the sink and prayed, thanking God for granting me my deepest wish. I’ll do my best to love her and honor her all the days of my life.
A voice came to me then, a reply from God. For a thousand years.
I went back to the bedroom. Louisa was sitting up in bed sipping from a coffee cup. Her hair was neatly braided, and her skin looked dewy and fresh. “The maid brought breakfast.” She gestured toward the small table by the window where a breakfast tray and a silver pot of coffee waited. “The poor girl was blushing fiercely when she told me Mrs. Barnes had said newlyweds prefer to stay in bed rather than come downstairs with the family.”
I chuckled as I poured myself a cup of coffee. The table held Lizzie’s fresh scones, blackberries, and several slices of the ham left over from the reception. God bless Lizzie. I was ravenous. “Are you hungry?” I asked.
“Yes, very,” Louisa said as she hopped out of bed to join me at the table.
“Scone? Ham?”
“Everything,” Louisa said. “I don’t know why I’m so hungry.” Her cheeks flushed and she giggled. “We were busy last night.”
We grinned at each other. No one would ever know what it was to be us, to have experienced such joy in each other’s arms. I suspected we weren’t the only married couple to enjoy each other in the ways we had, but at that moment it felt as if we were the only lovebirds in the world. My Louisa loved me. I still couldn’t quite believe my good fortune.
The maid had opened the curtains, and thin morning light shone through the windows. Louisa’s hair looked almost white in the sun. Her eyes sparkled as she bit into a scone. “How does Lizzie do this?”
“I’ve no idea, but I’m glad she does.” I stabbed another piece of ham and brought it onto my plate.
“Look at us. Married. Having breakfast together,” Louisa said.
“It all feels right.”
She reached across the small table to squeeze my hand. “Yes, exactly that.”
“What should we do today?” I asked.
“Do we have to leave the room?” Her eyes twinkled flirtatiously at me.
“Not if you don’t want to.”
“Will the family talk if we don’t come out all day?” Louisa buttered another piece of her scone.
“They will. They’ll talk about everything all the time. No one ever stops talking in this house.”
“It’s lovely, though, isn’t it? To have such a loud, messy, wonderful family?”
I smiled back at her. “I hope you’ll think that by this time next year.”
She sobered. “How I wish Mother and Father could see how happy we are.”
I reached over to cup her face in my hands. “They do, my love.”
26
Louisa
* * *
Two days after the wedding, Theo returned to work. The house felt empty without him. We’d spent so much time together that I missed him. At breakfast, perhaps sensing my loneliness, Quinn asked if I’d like to take a walk with her and the little girls. I gladly accepted.
The temperatures were still cool this time of morning. Dew sparkled on the flowers and shrubs. A bunny hopped into the path in front of us and froze, staring at us with one eye. Delphia squealed and lunged toward the poor animal, scaring it back into its hiding place. Never daunted, Delphia ran ahead toward the pasture. The horses nibbled grass and batted flies away with their tails.
“Give these to Lucy and Bell.” Quinn took two small apples out of her apron pocket and handed them to the girls. Delphia and Addie thanked her and ran toward the fence, then dexterously climbed over it and into the pen.
We walked toward the rose garden in silence. Birds chirped from the trees, and the grasses of the meadow swayed gracefully in the breeze.
“What do you think of the spot Theo likes for your cottage?” Quinn asked as she scooped to smell a yellow rose.
“I like it very much.” What wasn’t there to like, after all?
“And you don’t mind living so close to all of Theo’s family?”
“Quite the opposite.”
She straightened and looked up at the sky. “I wasn’t sure Theo would come back to us. Of all the kids, I thought he might be the one who wouldn’t return.”
“Why?”
“Because he was ambitious. I thought he might want more than our little town could offer.”
“I’m glad you were wrong.”
She gazed at me with a thoughtful expression. “I was worried, you know, about the two of you. But I can see I was wrong.”
“Why were you worried?”
“I wasn’t sure you loved him,” Quinn said. “I knew how he felt about you. Loving a woman who didn’t love him back would be a curse worse than death for a man like Theo.”
“I wasn’t sure I could love a man. I didn’t know what it was before. Love, that is. At least not for myself. I could see others had a special bond. My mother and father, for example. You and Alexander. I didn’t think it would come to me.”
“Until you feel it yourself, it’s almost impossible to imagine.”
“Was it that way for you?” I asked.
“I didn’t think much about love one way or the other,” Quinn said. “My only thoughts were for my mother and sister. We were so devastated after my father died, both emotionally and financially. I had to step up and take care of them. Which led me here.”
“To us.” I smiled. “You made all the difference for me. And now, marrying Theo, my good fortune seems to have come back to you once more.”
She touched my cheek with her cool fingers. “No, dear one. You did all this yourself. The first day you stepped into that classroom, despite all the reasons why you shouldn’t or couldn’t.
“You must miss your mother.”
“I do,” I said. “Father too.”
“When I lost my mother last year, I was heartbroken. For all my life, I’d been doing things to please her and make her proud. When she passed away, it left a big hole in my life. There’s not a day I don’t think of her dozens of times. No one loves us quite like our mothers.”
“She didn’t have to love me,” I said. “Yet she did.”
“When mothers leave too soon, as your birth mother did, there should always be someone there to take their place.�
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“As you did for Theo and the others,” I said.
“Thinking back over the years, I know now that coming here was my destiny. Alexander and the children needed me. I needed them. Which was also the case for the Linds and you.”
“I wonder what else my destiny will bring? I’ve always taken care of people. I like doing it. But Theo doesn’t need looking after. What’s my purpose now that my parents are gone?”
“Theo does need looking after, just as you do. You’ll look after each other now. Other things will come for you too. Just make sure to notice them when they arrive by having your eyes wide open.”
“I will,” I said earnestly. “I really will.”
27
Theo
* * *
The boys and I finished my house before the first frost. By the end of November, Mama and Louisa had decorated with furniture, rugs, and curtains and we were officially settled in for the winter. I was sound asleep one night in the middle of December when the phone rang. I rubbed my eyes and stumbled down the hallway to answer.
“Theo, it’s Flynn. The baby’s coming.”
I immediately came wide-awake. “How far apart are the pains?”
“About five minutes,” Flynn said.
“Good. She has some time then. Do your best to keep her comfortable until I get there.”
Louisa came down the hallway wearing her thick robe. I moved the mouthpiece away from my face. “It’s Flynn.”
Her eyes widened. “The baby?”
“Yes. Five minutes apart.” By this time, my wife knew what that meant.
“I’ll make a pot of coffee,” she said.
She always got up with me to fix a thermos of coffee before sending me out to attend the sick or whatever new baby was about to make his or her arrival.
“Shannon asked that Louisa come,” Flynn said from the other end of the phone. “She’s scared and needs a friend.”
“All right, I’ll bring her.” I hung up and called out to my wife. “Flynn says Shannon wants you to come with me.”
She appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. “Me? Why me?”
“Another woman provides comfort.”
“Fine. I’ll get dressed.”
I followed her to the bedroom, and we both dressed as quickly as we could. Louisa didn’t bother to undo the braid she often slept with, simply pinning it behind her head.
We’d had a snowfall the day before, so I hitched up my horses to the sleigh. The drive to Flynn’s, even in the sled, wouldn’t take more than ten minutes.
“What should I do when we get there?” Louisa asked.
“I doubt this baby’s coming anytime soon, so there’ll be some waiting. Usually, the mother has a sister or her own mother there. By the time I arrive, the baby is about ready to show his or her face. Women are more helpful than I am during the labor part.”
“All right. I just don’t want to be in the way.”
“You won’t be.”
“It’s nice that she asked for me,” Louisa said.
“Yes, I’m surprised she didn’t want her sister or mother.”
“She probably knows I’m the only one without much to do tomorrow.”
“Soon enough we’ll have a family, and that’ll keep you busy.”
Louisa chuckled. “Thus, proving Cym right. Women’s only choices are to marry and have a baby.”
“Are you dissatisfied with your life?” I didn’t know where this was coming from. Had I let her down somehow?
“Not at all. I was just teasing.”
I looked over at her but couldn’t make out her expression in the dark. Was she worried because she hadn’t gotten pregnant yet? Or was this a deeper issue? Was she like Cymbeline and yearned for more to occupy her mind?
Before long, we arrived, and I put it aside to focus on my patient. Flynn had turned on the porch light for us. “You go in. I’ll put the horses in the barn.”
She nodded and jumped out of the sleigh and headed toward the house.
I unhitched the horses as quickly as I could and brushed them before putting them in the empty stalls in Flynn’s barn. Not knowing how long we’d be, I gave them some hay. By the time I’d gotten to the house, I was cold. The temperatures were frigid. I was happy Flynn’s cottage was close to ours.
I found Flynn in the sitting room hunched over with his hands pressed into his knees. He stood when I came in and greeted me with a worried smile. “She’s in pain. Terrible sounds are coming out of her. I sent Louisa in there. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“You did the right thing,” I said. “Hang tight for a minute. I’m going to check on her.”
“Please, Theo, don’t let anything happen to her.”
“She’s healthy, and the baby will be too,” I said.
“I’m terrified,” Flynn said. “Even more than in the war.”
“It’s all going to be all right.” I patted his shoulder before heading to the bedroom.
Shannon was on the bed with only a cotton nightgown on. Louisa was sitting in an armchair, pale and looking almost as frightened as Flynn.
“How far apart are the pains?” I asked.
Before she could answer, Shannon cried out as another pain took over.
“A minute,” Louisa said as she pointed to the clock on the wall. “I’ve been timing them.”
We waited until the contraction subsided. Louisa, I’m not sure how or why, suddenly leapt to her feet. She knelt by the side of the bed and used her handkerchief to wipe Shannon’s brow.
“It hurts so much,” Shannon whispered to Louisa.
“What would make you feel better?” Louisa asked.
“I don’t know. Not lying here.”
Louisa tugged her up and out of the bed. “Here, get on the floor. All fours.” She demonstrated.
Shannon obeyed. No sooner was she on the braided rug than another contraction started. Louisa was right, they were a minute apart.
Being on the floor seemed to help Shannon. I was amazed, having never thought of advising a woman to do so before. Louisa was a woman. Maybe she knew instinctually what would help?
For the next hour, Shannon labored. With Louisa so clearly handling the situation, I went to check on my brother. He was pacing back and forth across his kitchen.
“You’ll wear a hole in the floorboards,” I said.
“What’s happened? Why has she stopped screaming?” Flynn asked.
“She’s fine. Louisa suggested she go to the floor, and that’s helped a lot.”
“Thank God.” Flynn collapsed into a chair. “If I lose her, I won’t be able to go on.”
“We’re not losing anyone tonight.”
For the next few minutes, I went about preparing for the baby and gave Flynn something to do to keep him occupied. “Put water on to boil.”
He didn’t question me, simply did as he was asked. By the time I went back to the women, I had gathered towels and an old blanket Flynn said wasn’t needed.
They were still on the floor. Shannon was having another contraction. “Breathe,” Louisa said. “Breathe through it.”
Since Louisa had that in hand, I made up the bed with the old things. There would be a lot of blood and other fluids coming. No reason to ruin the good bedsheets.
This went on for another twenty minutes until Shannon said she felt the urge to push. I hauled her back into the bed. “It’s time to have this baby,” I said.
Shannon had panic in her eyes as she reached out for Louisa. “Don’t leave me.”
Louisa quickly went to her side and fell on her knees next to the bed. “I’m right here.”
For the next few minutes, we went through a series of pushing. So far, just the head was visible. But with the next push, the baby’s head came all the way out, then I coaxed one shoulder and then the other until finally we had a whole baby.
“She’s a girl,” I said.
Shannon fell back onto the bed.
“Is she good?” Shannon asked.
“She’s perfect.” I cleaned the baby off with one of the old towels before wrapping her in a blanket and handing her to her mother.
“You did so well.” Louisa mopped at Shannon’s brow with a damp towel, then had her sip from a glass of water.
“Oh, goodness, look at her,” Shannon said before looking up. “Get Flynn, please.”
“Not quite yet,” I said. “We need one more push to get the afterbirth out. Give Louisa the baby for a moment.”
Shannon handed her bundle over to Louisa.
“Go out and show her to her papa,” I said to Louisa. “While we do this last part.”
“Yes, Doctor,” Louisa said, smiling. “This must be the best part of your day? Showing such a sweet thing to a father for the first time?”
I’d not thought of it that way. Yet again something Louisa was better at than I.
28
Louisa
* * *
I’d never seen anything as spectacular in my life as watching Shannon bring new life into this world. My mind was reeling with all I’d seen and heard. A miracle. I’d witnessed a miracle. Something Theo and Dr. Neal were able to do often. Even though her pain had scared me, I could see now that it was all part of the process. One with which I’d helped.
“Is Shannon all right? The screaming. Good God, I couldn’t stand it.” Flynn’s eyes were red. “Tell me she made it through.”
“She made it through. Look what she made you.” I held the baby out for him.
As if I’d pulled him from a nightmare, he seemed to focus for the first time on the baby in my arms.
“She’s a girl.”
“A girl?” A slow smile crept over his face. “I have a baby daughter?”
“Here, hold her so the two of you can get acquainted.” I placed her in his arms.
“Why is she so small?” Flynn asked. “Is she supposed to be this size? She’s barely bigger than my hand.”
“She’ll get bigger, but remember she came out of a small space.”
“Look at her hands and feet. They’re tiny but perfect.” He gazed down at the baby’s scrunched-up face. She began to cry.
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