by Parker, Ali
While my eyes are still closed, he climbed back on top of me and kissed me. I could taste myself on his mouth, taste the sweetness of us all mingled up together, and I pushed my tongue against his hungrily. I hadn’t been kissed like this in a long time, that urgent, desperate making out that came from two people who didn’t only want each other but needed each other. This strange mix of satisfaction and deep need flooded me, as though I could stop here or go on all night. He was naked suddenly, and I could feel his hard-on nudging up against my thighs. It was thick, impressive, and my stomach fluttered as I realized what I wanted now.
“You’re so fucking sexy,” he groaned into my ear, and I ran my hands over his back, feeling his muscles move as he shifted to plant kisses all over my shoulder and my neck. His breath was hot, and his need was obvious. I wanted to give him what he so clearly wants. I turned my mouth to his ear, making sure he could hear me, knowing this was the only thing that mattered right now.
“I want you inside me,” I moaned, and he didn’t need telling twice. He pulled back, but before I could get a look at him, he flipped me over and pulled me up so I was on all fours. Fuck, yes—I loved this position. I wiggled my ass back and forth, wondering if this man could read my mind since he seemed so adept at giving me exactly what I wanted, exactly what I needed.
I felt him pressing against my slit, and I arched my back to make it easier for him to enter me. He slid a hand around my belly and let the other come to rest on my hip as he guided himself inside of me, and I forgot about the fact that I don’t seem to know who this man was as we fit together for the first time.
“Oh my God,” I groaned. He felt even better than I could have imagined. The warmth of his hands on my skin felt familiar, and for a moment, I tried to place where I might know it from, but then he began to move inside of me, and it slipped from my brain once more.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he murmured, his fingers sinking into my ass as he held me steady. He was as big as I imagined, and I was so full with him inside me like this, like we were perfectly built to go together, as though he were made for me.
He ground himself into me, going in circles, keeping himself deep, and he moved his hand up my back and weaved it into my hair at the nape of my neck, tugging lightly. I went limp, my arms and my legs shaking as I struggled to keep myself upright. How did he know exactly how to touch me, exactly how to get me there? Every move he made, it was like he had crawled inside my head and teased out all those things I had been too nervous to tell the other men I’d been with. Or maybe I had been the one to tell him. I couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter.
I began to rock my hips back against him, taking him as deep as I could manage as he moved the hand on my belly down between my legs and on to my clit. He let out a low groan when he found my hypersensitive nub, as though my pleasure morphed into his.
Before I knew it, I was growing close again. The mix of stimulation had me helplessly careening toward orgasm once more, and, even though I had just had one, I found my body craving it, pushing me toward him, arching hungrily toward the one that I needed now. I wanted to feel his cock inside of me as I came, wanted to let him know how good this was for me every way I could. I was panting, pushing myself back against him, listening to his breathing as it grew more ragged. I could tell he was getting close too, and I wanted to feel him come along with me, at the same time as me. His hand was still in my hair so I couldn’t twist my head around to look at him, but that didn’t matter. I could feel him, not just his body but his energy, and that was all I needed.
“Come inside me,” I demanded, my voice taking on an edge I had never known I had in me. He moved harder, faster, his fingers moving with more purpose against my clit, and that was when it hit me.
The first orgasm had been intense, but this one was something else entirely. It felt as though my body was having trouble keeping together, the shake spreading out from my pussy and moving across me in waves like aftershocks punching through my system. The noises that came out of me, I had never heard them before, had never had call to make them before. My pussy tightened around his cock over and over again, and he continued to move into me mercilessly, extending the pleasure until I wasn’t sure I could take any more. My jaw was hanging open, my lungs gasping for air, my body tingling. I felt as though I had been torched, set alight, and now my body was doing everything it could to make sense of what had happened and to figure out exactly how we could get there again.
A few moments later, he pushed himself hard into me as he came, his body tensing and relaxing as he let out a long, low growl of pleasure. He held himself steady, deep inside me, for a long moment, as though he wasn’t ready for this to be over yet. I knew how he felt. I wanted this to go on forever, the two of us never pulling apart. But eventually, with some apparent reluctance, he slid his cock out of me and slid down on to the bed beside me. I collapsed forward next to him, and I felt his hand skim up my back as I leaned in to kiss him—
Then I saw his face, and I woke up with a start.
I was panting hard when I came back to the real world, the memory of the dream so fresh that it felt real. I could feel his hands on my skin, the way they had traced over my body like he was drawing me into existence. I touched my belly, the back of my neck, the places he had laid his hands on me. I wasn’t sure if I had come or not, but my body felt limp and satisfied, as though I somehow truly had.
And then his face drifted back into my brain once more, and I clapped my hand over my mouth. There was no doubt who it had been.
Holden.
I stared at the ceiling for a long time, until my breath had gone back to normal, and reminded myself that it had been a dream. I hadn’t been fucked in a long time—I had never been fucked like that in my entire life, but still—and Holden was a man in my life, so my brain was extracting the data and offering me up something it thought I would like. Nothing to read into more than that. Nothing serious.
Yet the memory was so vivid, I would have a hard time looking him in the eye next time I saw him, but I would get over that. I needed to push those thoughts to the back of my mind. In fact, what I needed to do was set him up with someone. Now that I had spent time with Hunter and him, I should get a move on and find someone for him to go out with, someone who could act as a block in my brain between the two of us. I couldn’t handle having any more dreams like that if I ever wanted to talk to him again without blushing like a damn beacon.
I sighed and turned over in bed, staring at the wall opposite me. Despite it all, as I began drifting off once more, I found myself hoping I would slip into the same dream all over again.
21
Holden
I fidgeted as I sat in the car outside the school. I didn’t need to get here this early, but I wanted to make sure I was there to pick up Hunter on time. If I was being honest with myself, it was to make sure I got a chance to see Autumn as well.
I tried not to let that thought stick in my brain too long. I had done a decent job throwing myself into work the last few days, not calling or texting her, waiting for her to reach out to me so we could set up something to do together. I was looking forward to seeing her again, but I also needed a little time to cool off before I let my head get the better of me. The last thing I wanted was to fuck things up with the woman who was trying to help me get back on the dating scene. Even though I was beginning to wonder if it was just her I wanted to date at this point.
Hunter was at an after-school club, hanging out and doing some arts and crafts with his classmates. He hadn’t been that keen on going, but I had insisted that he at least try something out to see if he could bond with the kids around him over something new. He had grudgingly agreed to go on the promise that I would take him out to Dandy’s at some point soon. If it meant that he actually had the confidence to go up to those kids and hang out with them this time, I was all for it.
Raymond had offered to pick up him, but I had declined, even though it would mean me coming out of work e
arly to get him.
“I know he’s nervous, and I just want to be there for him.” I shrugged. “Besides, it’ll give me a chance to catch up with Autumn again and see what we’re doing next.”
“Oh, yeah, how was the weekend?” Raymond wondered. “You didn’t mention it after you came back. Did it go okay?”
“Yeah, I think it went pretty well.” I nodded. “She and Hunter got on well, and I think she had a good time.”
“Why just think?”
“I guess she was a little shocked by how… you know the kind of lifestyle I lead,” I replied. “She told me she wouldn’t want to come out on the yacht for a date. Said she was worried that’s how I’d attract women who only wanted my cash.”
“Well, that’s probably not bad advice.” He tapped his fingers on his chin. “I mean, you are fresh back on the scene, and you don’t want to get taken advantage of by someone who sees dollar signs when they look at you.”
“I’m sure that’s not going to happen.” I brushed that thought off. “She knows me well enough not to set me up with anyone who might pull shit like that.”
“Oh, so she knows you well, does she?” Raymond teased, and I gave him a hard look.
“Seriously, dude, there’s nothing happening between us,” I repeated myself firmly. “I don’t know how many times I’m going to have to say that to you. Or Hunter. He thought the two of us were dating as well.”
“Then maybe you should bite the bullet and get it over with.” He cocked his head at me. “Would that be so terrible?”
“I’m not just going to date her because you think I should!” I protested, but I was laughing by now. “Jesus, Raymond, you really want me to settle down already, don’t you?”
“I want you to have what I do with Olivia,” he replied, and I saw his gaze soften as he said her name. I knew how much he adored her, had adored her since the moment they set eyes on one another, and he had made that clear from the start. He wanted me to feel the same way. That was sweet when I thought of it like that.
But either way, I wasn’t going to have a happily-ever-after with Autumn. It was clear that the lifestyle I lived was pretty much incompatible with the one she did, and I was going to have to be fine with that. She was entitled to her opinions on my life as I was to mine on hers, and that was totally all right.
I forced myself to get out of the car and stroll toward the door, my head feeling a little fuzzy around the edges, and I did my best to keep myself calm as I headed in her direction. I was just a friend, checking in on another friend. It was casual, that was it. What any friend would have done when given the chance to drop in on an acquaintance. So why was my heart racing, and why were my palms starting to sweat?
I made my way to her classroom and knocked on the door. Her voice came from inside, sounding tired.
“Come in!” she called out to me, and I pushed open the door and waved at her. She beamed when she saw me and got to her feet to give me a hug.
“Holden!” she exclaimed happily, winding her arms around my neck as though on instinct and briefly holding me closer than she needed to. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m picking up Hunter from this after-school club I enrolled him in.” I shrugged, ignoring the stirring in my stomach at her closeness. “Thought I would stop in and see you while I was here.”
“Well, I always appreciate the visit.” She faux-curtsied, and I chuckled.
“I told him to find me in your classroom. I hope that’s all right,” I explained. She pointed to the one adult-size chair in the room other than her own, propped up underneath the whiteboard, and I grabbed it and brought it over to her desk.
“So what are you doing working so late?” I wondered aloud, and she shook her head and sighed deeply.
“I have to take care of putting these grade curves together,” she explained, pointing to papers scattered all over her desk. “Trust me, you don’t want to know. They’re a total pain in my ass, but I can’t get away from them.”
“Dare I ask?” I cocked an eyebrow, and she shook her head.
“Trust me, they’re about the most boring things in the entire world,” she assured me. “I’ve never been less compelled by anything. I don’t understand why they don’t automate the system so we don’t have to spend three years out of every term making sure we have them ready to go. It feels like such a waste of time, but they say they can’t afford it.”
My ears pricked up. That sounded like something I could take on. I leaned back in my chair and shrugged.
“If you want, I could take a look at making a program for you,” I suggested, and she furrowed her brow at me, smiling.
“I thought you designed websites,” she reminded me, and I shrugged and shook my head.
“Yeah, I do, but I had to learn the basics of pretty much everything to do with computers before I opened the business,” I pointed out. “I had to be able to run everything myself, and that included making programs that would take care of the tasks I didn’t want to pay a real human person to do.”
“I’m sure you could do it, and I’m sure it would be great,” she said. “But I don’t think the school board can afford you.”
“You know what? I’ll do it for free.” I held my hands up, and she raised her eyebrows at me.
“What? No, don’t be ridiculous.” She dismissed my offer with a wave. “I don’t see how we could ask you to give up all that time, just for—”
“Honestly, it probably won’t even take me all that long,” I cut her off. “If it’s just a matter of making a system where you can input the data and it spits out a result, I’m sure I could knock that off in my free time. I haven’t done any program design for a while. Could be fun to have something to keep my hand in.”
“You’re serious about this?” She stared at me for a long moment. “For free? You wouldn’t expect anything back for this?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “Consider it a donation to the school. I mean, this is where my son learns, and I want to make sure all the teachers aren’t wasting their time on something I could easily take care of in no time.”
“I’ll pass along your email to the school board,” she agreed. “You can talk to them about it. They’ll know more about this than I will.”
“Do that,” I said. “I really want to help you out with this, Autumn. After everything you’ve done for me.”
“Hey, setting you up on a couple of hypothetical dates doesn’t equate to you doing this work for me for free,” she shot back.
“I think I’ll be the judge of that,” I replied firmly, and she smiled at me once more and shook her head.
“If you really can get this thing working, then it’s going to change everything for all the teachers I know,” she told me seriously. “Really, I don’t think I can overstate that. You’re going to change the way the school system in this county works and how time is allocated. It sounds boring, but it’s so important, trust me.”
“I hope I can help.” I smiled at her, and then the door opened and we both turned to see Hunter strolling in. He had paint on his hands and a little smudged beneath his right eye, but he was smiling. So that had to be good news.
“Hey, son,” I got to my feet. “How about we get you cleaned up, and we can head off?”
“Cleaned up?” He glanced down at his hands, as though he hadn’t even noticed. “Oh, right. I’ll be back in a minute.”
And with that, he had darted out to the bathrooms and left the two of us alone again. Autumn grinned at me, getting up and stretching.
“Well, I guess I have a little more free time on my hands if you really are going to be able to do this for us,” she remarked. “So thanks for that.”
“How about you spend a little of it with the two of us?” I suggested before I could stop myself. “I know Hunter had such a good time when we all hung out together last. It’s all he’s been able to talk about since. And I’d love to see you again too.”
“Uh….” She hesitated, and I
could see her fighting internally with something I hadn’t seen in her before. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but it was clearly unsettling her.
“Hey, Dad, I’m ready to go.” Hunter breezed back into the room, and I glanced at Autumn once more.
“What do you say?” I asked her. “Dinner, my place, this weekend? I’ll cook.”
“Oh, say yes!” Hunter exclaimed. “I want to show you some more of the boats I have in my room!”
She paused for a moment longer and then laughed and shook her head.
“I guess I can’t say no to that,” she conceded.
“Guess not,” I agreed, and I flashed her a smile. “I’ll drop you a text, and we can figure out what’s going to work for the both of us. Sound good?”
“Sounds great.” She planted her hands on her hips and watched us walk out of there. I felt like punching the air as soon as I’d made it outside and out of her sight. Because I was seeing her again. This time, I was going to prove to her I could be as low-key as she wanted.
22
Autumn
As I drove down to their house, I found my foot jiggling, the only physical representation of my nerves I would allow. Because I was fucking unsettled right now, and I had to keep my shit together if I was going to pull this night off.
My mind slipped back to the conversation I’d had with Zoe before I’d come out today. She had ducked into my classroom right before I was finished, and she’d given me a once-over and cocked her head in my direction.
“Well, you’re looking gorgeous,” she’d remarked. “Friday night dinner plans?”