by Parker, Ali
“Where are you going tonight?” he asked, and I paused for a moment before answering. Should I tell him the truth? No, he was already sure Autumn and I were seeing each other, and the last thing I needed was to confuse him further on that point.
“Just out on a work meeting,” I told him. “Nothing exciting. You’re not missing anything, trust me.”
“I get to see the baby today?” His eyes lit up as it clicked with him that he would be spending the evening with the whole family.
“Yeah, you will.” I ruffled his hair, and I felt this sting of sadness knowing that I hadn’t been able to give him that same family. I had wanted him to grow up normal and happy, but he had lacked something his whole life, lacked a mother figure in his world. Wasn’t that what this dating thing was meant to be about? Bringing him that at last?
Raymond picked him up, and he gave me a hard look and a nod as Hunter climbed into the car. I knew exactly what he was trying to put across. I headed back into the house and started getting ready. I was meant to be picking up this Casey woman at seven and taking her out to dinner. I wondered if she was looking forward to it, if she was excited about what lay ahead, or if she was nervous and wondering if this was the right choice at all. Maybe I should turn up there, tell her the truth, and book it out of there before she could get too mad at me.
I stepped outside to get in my car and found that it had started to rain. Just my luck, as though I needed another reminder as to how this night was going to go. I got in the car and began to drive over to her place, going slowly, but the traffic was light, and I arrived there in plenty of time.
I drew up outside her door—a green one, Autumn had told me—and looked at the house. It was old-fashioned and a little run-down but sweet, and I wondered about the woman inside. Probably kind. Probably funny. Probably smart. Yet I had no urge to pull this car to a halt and go up there and meet her. It was crazy, but there was another woman I wanted to spend my evening with, a woman I knew was funny, smart, kind, beautiful, charming, a little awkward—all those things I had no idea I had been looking for in a partner but had landed in someone right in front of me like she had been dropped from the stars to change everything in my life for the better.
I drove around the block once more and tried to talk myself into going up there. I knew I should. Autumn had gone to all this effort to set this up for me, but the pit in my stomach was telling me this was wrong.
I drove for a while and eventually drew the car to a halt outside the unfamiliar house. My heart was pounding in my chest as I forced myself to get to my feet, to lock the car behind me, to put one foot in front of the other and make my way up there to that house.
I paused in front of the door. There was still time to back out of this, to make things right. But I found my knuckles lifting to the wood and, before I could talk myself out of it, I rapped on the door.
Shifting my weight from foot to foot, I heard someone moving inside, and my heart went double-time, so fast it felt like it was going to pop out of my chest. Finally, she reached the door and pulled it open. And as soon as she did, I knew that I’d made the right call tonight.
24
Holden
When the door opened, I laid eyes on the woman standing in front of me, and I knew I’d made the right decision. It hit me like a wave of relief, the knowledge that I wasn’t going to have to lie my way through this. I was meant to be here, but I had to figure out a way to explain why.
“Holden?” Autumn furrowed her brow. “What the hell…? I thought you had that date tonight?”
“I did,” I replied quickly. “I mean, that’s where I was meant to be. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I knew I needed to be here instead.”
Her eyes widened, and she stared at me for a long moment. Too long. Had I made some stupid, crazy mistake that I wasn’t going to be able to come back from? The way she was looking at me—as though I had just come out with the most insane shit she had ever heard in her life—sent my pulse racing through my veins. But I couldn’t take it back, so I kept talking in the hopes that I would be able to finally, truly express what I needed to.
“I know I’m meant to be here with you,” I continued, the rain still pouring down around me. I was cold, getting damp, but I didn’t care. As long as I got to look into this woman’s eyes and tell her how I truly felt, then it was worth it. All of this had been worth it.
Autumn continued to gape at me, as though she couldn’t believe what I was saying. I could hardly believe it, either. I had convinced myself for so long that Autumn wasn’t the woman I was meant to be with. I’d thought whatever we shared was fleeting and platonic at best, so it felt as though I was reeling back from the truth speaking to her like this. But it was real, and if I had gone out on that blind date she’d set me up on, that would have been the real lie.
I had no idea how she was going to react. I still didn’t know her well enough to have a handle on that, not quite yet. Autumn was someone I had known only as a friend for all this time, and I was coming to her, spilling my guts, and admitting I’d had feelings for her all along. If only I had gone along with that first date we’d been set up on together all those weeks ago. If only I had seen then that our chemistry was intense, impossible to deny. Then I could have skipped out of all this fucking bullshit and already had her in my arms.
She didn’t speak for a long time, the only sound the rain pitter-pattering around us, but I could see her chest rising and falling rapidly. She was wearing a pair of pajama shorts and a vest top, her skin exposed and so, so fucking tempting. But she had to accept me first. She had to accept what we had between us—if she felt it too. I remembered all those brief touches, those meaningful looks, the way she smiled at me as though I was the only person in the world. I couldn’t have imagined all of that. Could I?
And then, all at once, she moved toward me. I wasn’t sure if she kissed me first or if I kissed her, but it didn’t matter. It was a circuit closing as our mouths met for the first time, the electricity that we had been holding back finally allowed to run wild and free. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close against my body, and buried my tongue in her mouth, tasting her, consuming her, needing every single part of her.
“Oh my God, Holden,” Autumn breathed as she pulled back. “Are we doing this?”
“If you want to,” I murmured back, brushing my mouth against her cheek, inhaling her intoxicating scent, reminding myself of everything I’d been missing out on all this time. How had I held myself back this long? All that seemed distant now, impossibly far away.
“I do,” she panted like she was agreeing to a wedding vow, and she kissed me again, pulling me inside the house, out of the rain, and into her warmth.
I gripped her hips and pushed her back against the wall behind us, pinning her there, holding her still. Both of us had been so slippery for so long that we hadn’t ever gotten a hold on each other, but now that I had her there, there was no way in hell I was letting her get away. She moaned as I kissed her again, pressing her body back against mine as I skimmed my hands up and over her arms and pushed them up above her head. She felt so fucking good. That was what I couldn’t get enough of—how obvious it seemed that we should end up this way, how natural our bodies felt when they were as close as they were.
“Fuck,” she groaned as I brushed my mouth over her neck, letting my teeth catch on her skin, feeling her body shiver with need as I caressed her with my mouth. I wrapped my fingers around her wrists and held her tightly, grinding myself into her. I was already hard. How long had it been since I had wanted someone this badly, with this much certainty? My body was pulsing with an impossible need for her, and I could have spent all night exploring every single inch of her body and still craved more the next day.
“Kiss me,” she panted, and I turned my mouth back down to meet hers, her soft lips finding mine. She made out with me hungrily, nipping my bottom lip between her teeth and making me groan. She was pushing her hips into me, hooking on
e leg around me to draw me closer, and every single item of clothing she was wearing was an annoyance between me and her gorgeous body.
I dropped my hands from her wrists and peeled up her flimsy top, tossing it aside. Much to my delight, she was naked beneath it. With one arm around her waist, I leaned back to admire her, to take her in. Her mouth was slightly parted, her breath coming hard and fast, and her body arched toward mine as though subconsciously trying to reach me with every single inch of her body. I trailed my fingers over her throat, watching her eyes drift shut to process the sensation, and then let them go farther until they had found her nipples. I pinched one roughly between my fingers, drawing a sharp squeak from her mouth. It swelled under my touch.
“Jesus Christ, Holden,” she moaned as I massaged her breast with one hand, lowering my head down to the other and drawing her other nipple into my mouth. I wanted to consume her, to swallow her whole, to try out and test every inch of her body until I was satisfied. I bit softly over her sensitized breast, and she shivered beneath me. I glanced up to find her head tipped back in ecstasy and her mouth opening and closing wordlessly.
“Good?” I murmured, and she nodded.
“So good,” she replied with certainty. I moved farther down, flicking my tongue along the curve of her breast, and then sinking to my knees, I pressed my mouth against her belly, to that soft spot beneath her navel that made her legs tremble with a desperate need.
“Mm,” she groaned, running her fingers through my hair, tugging softly at the ends as I moved farther down. I could smell her scent, the rich, tempting muskiness of it, and it took everything I had not to rip off her panties right there and make her come with my mouth. But I wanted to tease her, to let her know every way that I could that I was in no sort of rush.
I ran my hands up her bare thighs and watched as goose bumps appeared where my fingers had moved. It seriously turned me on, seeing how keen she was for me, that my desire for her was reflected in equal measure all over her body. I hooked my fingers around her shorts and pulled them down. She eagerly kicked them away and grabbed my head once more, guiding it toward her panties.
I pressed my mouth against her through the flimsy fabric, inhaling her deeply, letting my breath tease her through her underwear. She let out a strangled, desperate noise, communicating without words how badly she wanted me down there. I kissed along her panty line for a moment, letting my teeth play at the band, and then I lost my patience and pulled them off. I had to taste her.
I moved my mouth against her pussy at once. She was shaven but for a small triangle on her pubic mound, which I made sure to run my fingers through, the coarseness of her hair contrasting with the velvety-smooth sweetness of her skin. I stroked my tongue slowly across the length of her sex, starting at her slit and moving all the way up until I found her clit She let out a long moan and slumped back against the wall behind us, spreading her legs to make it easier for me to access her. And I took the invitation without a second thought.
I started by licking and sucking at her lips, taking them into my mouth and lavishing them with attention, letting her know that I was here for as long as it took. I couldn’t get over how good she tasted. I had gone down on women before, of course, but there was something different about Autumn. Perhaps it was how long I had been craving her, or maybe it was something else entirely, but I couldn’t get enough of her.
Eventually, when her thighs tensed and her breath came faster and harder than before, I turned my attention to her clit. I sealed my lips around her and guided it out with my tongue, feeling it swell and harden as I sucked softly. I drew shapes against her, listening to the sound of her moans and her physical reactions to read what felt the best for her, and found that she seemed to like it best when I sucked and lapped softly at the very tip of it. I did just that, moving my fingers up into her as I did so, sliding my fingers deep into her perfect pussy as I ate her out.
“Oh my God,” she groaned, and I could tell she was close to coming. I moved a little harder, stroking my tongue with more purpose and getting hard as a rock as the woman before me lost herself to the pleasure I was giving her. There was nothing hotter in the world than making a woman come, except maybe doing it with a woman who I felt I’d been waiting for my entire life.
“Fuck!” she cried out, gripping my head as her pussy clenched around my fingers. Her clit pulsed beneath my tongue, and I pulled back a little, reducing the pleasure so it wasn’t so intense. Sneaking a look up at her, I found her cheeks flushed and her nipples swollen, her entire body reacting to the sensations. She looked incredible. Even more incredible than usual, that was.
She reached down to pull me back to my feet and kissed me at once, not concerned about the fact that my mouth was still glistening with her wetness. I could taste the two of us, combined in our kiss, and I pressed hard against her, letting her know I was ready for more whenever she was. She pulled back, looked me dead in the eyes, and grinned.
“Bedroom,” she told me. “Now.”
And who was I to disagree?
25
Autumn
I grasped his hand and dragged him through to the bedroom without a second thought. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I wasn’t totally convinced yet that this wasn’t some hyper-vivid dream—but then, I could have never conjured a man who was this good at getting me off, even in my wildest fantasies.
He pushed me back against the door as soon as we were inside, kissing me again, and I could still taste myself all over his mouth. I couldn’t believe he’d dropped to his knees in front of me and done incredible things to me mere minutes after he’d arrived at the door and confessed his feelings to me. I’d never been with a man who seemed to want me this badly, a man who had no trouble worshipping my body.
I was naked, and he was still fully dressed, and something about that dynamic was turning me on and frustrating me in equal measure. I slipped my hand down between his legs and gripped his cock, finding him hard as a rock and ready for me. He growled against my mouth, making it pretty damn clear he wanted me any way he could have me.
“I need you inside of me,” I breathed into his ear, hungry for him, starving. I had never wanted anyone with the intensity I wanted him at that moment, and it was hard to keep my head straight, to remember everything that had come before this. All that time, all that waiting, and it had all been building to this moment. And it was going to be worth it.
He pushed me down onto the bed, a little rough with his neediness, but I liked it. I squirmed back on to the covers and watched as he stripped himself down. He was strong and muscular, and as he moved on top of me, I reached out to trace the shape of his arms and his chest. I felt his heart racing beneath his skin, a reminder that he wanted this as badly as I did. That we had waited for one another long enough.
“Condom?” he breathed in my ear, and I reached into the bedside cabinet where I had long kept a small box of condoms in the hopes that one day I might get to use them. Well, that day was here, and it had been well worth the wait. I handed him the small foil packet, and he tore it open swiftly, sheathing himself deftly, and then moved over me. I slid my hands over his shoulders, pulling him close, and spread my legs, surprising even myself with how eager I was for this to finally happen. I hadn’t realized until that moment how deeply and truly I’d wanted him all this time, but once he was there in front of me, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was right and this was where the two of us were meant to be all along.
He took his cock into his hand and guided it against my slit. He was bigger than I’d realized, and it took a moment to relax into the feeling of him entering me. But I focused on his face, the way he seemed to be consumed with his desire for me, and soon enough, nothing else in the entire world mattered but this feeling, the movement of his body inside of mine.
“Fuck, Autumn,” he growled as he thrust all the way inside of me. The sound of my name on his lips turned me on more than I expected, and I soon adjusted to the feel of him ins
ide me. It had been a long time since I’d slept with anyone and even longer since I’d felt a desire that ran as deeply and completely as this one. It was a lot to take in, but it was worth it, every second of it.
I hooked my ankles behind his back and drew him in close to me, letting him know without words that I was truly ready for him. He kissed me softly on the mouth as he began to thrust up and inside of me, going slow, letting me savor the sensation of him buried all the way to the hilt.
He felt so big, and I felt so full like the two of us had been made to go together like this. I rocked my hips back to meet him, loving the way he felt inside of me and craving more of it. I wasn’t sure I would ever truly get enough of him. We had waited so long to get to this moment, going back and forth, doubting ourselves and our feelings and our attraction, that I had all this tension built up that needed to be released. And he would be the one I worked it out on.
“You’re so gorgeous,” he murmured, leaning down to my ear, so I could feel him say the words as well as hear them. I groaned and tipped my hips back a little, taking him deeper, as deep as I could, as hard as he could have me. I couldn’t get over how good this felt, how natural and obvious—and how long we’d waited to get to this. How had we held back when this had been waiting for us all along? I flashed back briefly to the dream I’d had a few days before and wondered if it had been my body growing impatient with my doubt and pushing me toward him once and for all.
Another orgasm built deep within me, catching me off guard, as I normally didn’t come more than once in a session. But then, the way he touched me, the way he’d eaten me out, he’d made it clear that my pleasure was as important to him as his was, and I was more relaxed knowing I didn’t have anything to prove. I clenched my jaw and moved against him, meeting him with every thrust, craving him, needing him.