by Parker, Ali
“Oh, wow.” He nodded. “There’s so much stuff to do, especially around here. What kind of things are you into?”
“Uh…”
“Like food, music, movies.” He cocked an eyebrow at me. “That’s what I’m asking about.”
“Oh.” I laughed. “Uh, I guess food. Or maybe that’s on my mind because I’ve not eaten any breakfast yet.”
“There’s plenty of places around here I’m sure you’d like,” he said. “I could show you if you like.”
“Oh, no, it’s fine.” I waved my hand, not wanting to put him out. “I get a free breakfast as part of the deal with the room. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Or maybe I just want to take you out,” he said. I made a face. “Is it that awful a thought?” He half-laughed, and I felt like an ass for reacting the way I had.
“I’m sorry. I’m not really out here looking for… anything.”
“You came to the city of sin with the plan not to commit a single one?” he shot back, and his voice was a little barbed as if he didn’t like that I wasn’t receptive to his advances. Did he often chat up women at hotel bars like this? Did he often do it successfully?
“Yeah, I guess so,” I conceded, shrugging cheerfully and taking a sip of my coffee. I kind of wanted to be left alone, but I got the feeling this guy wasn’t going to let it go that easily.
“Sure I can’t tempt you to a drink, at least?” he suggested. “On me. To celebrate your first time in Vegas.”
“Really, I’m fine,” I replied firmly. I craned my neck around to see if Zoe was anywhere near arriving yet. I just wanted this guy to fuck off and leave me the hell alone, but he didn’t give off the easygoing vibe that he had at first.
“I’m not asking for much of your time,” he told me, and my opinion of him soured swiftly.
“Yeah, and I’m not asking for any of yours,” I snapped back. He raised his eyebrows.
“Damn, I like a bit of feistiness in my women,” he remarked, grinning widely as though he had achieved something by getting me to respond that way. I wanted to kick myself. To this kind of man, any reaction was still a reaction he could hook into, proof that he was getting under my skin and could get what he wanted.
“I’m going to leave now,” I told him. “If you see me here again, don’t bother talking to me.”
“Fine, fine.” He held his hands up, acting shocked by my lack of interest and apparent irritation.
As I walked off, I heard him speaking to the bartender, and I did my best to tune him out, but he seemed determined to make sure I heard him.
“And there I was thinking she would be an easy lay,” he commented. I felt my cheeks burn hot, and I wanted to turn around and scream at him, chew him out in front of everyone in this place for acting like he could speak about me that way when I was right there in the room. But letting him rile me up would be enough to start the conversation again, and the last thing I wanted was that. I paused for a moment, gathered myself, and marched out of there, trying to ignore that my cheeks were burning with rage.
Before I got all the way out, I bumped into Zoe, who had a big, breezy smile on her face and looked about as full of the joys of life as I’d ever seen her. I instantly felt a twist of guilt. She had gone to all this effort for me, and I was already letting some jerk-off with a complex about winning me over get under my skin?
“You okay?” Zoe asked, grabbing my arm and leaning away from me to take me in. She could obviously read the anger on my face, and I worked hard to clear it away as fast as I could.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” I promised her. “Just hungry, that’s all. Let’s get something to eat.”
“Yeah, agreed.” She nodded, rubbing her closed fist into her stomach. “I could really use some breakfast.”
We ate together, and thankfully, the man who had been at the bar before didn’t so much as bother to make eye contact with me this time. Probably because I wasn’t as easy a lay as he’d imagined. We ate way too much, and I was starting to feel a little better.
“Hey, walk me back to my room?” Zoe asked. “I want to brush my hair before we go to the pool.”
“Sure. I need to charge my phone anyway.”
I followed her back up the stairs, and I ducked into my room as she headed into hers. Plugging my phone in, I went to check my makeup, and that’s when I heard my cell buzz to life on the counter next to the bed.
I went to pick it up, assuming it would be some spam from my cell provider. Instead, I saw a number I recognized, a number I had done my best to forget.
“Hey, Autumn. Hope you’re doing well. I miss you. H x”
My heart sank, and just like that, all the hard work I’d been doing to convince myself I was doing all right seemed to slip away from me. How could things be okay when he was all the way back in Portland and missing me? I ached to have him close to me, and I held the phone up to my chest, pressing it to the spot above my heart. I knew I was acting crazy, and I didn’t care. No matter how much space I put between the two of us, I was still going to miss him. Nothing could change that.
I stared down at the message for a long time and chewed on my lip. I should have ignored it and gotten on with the rest of my trip. But I couldn’t. I opened a new message, hesitated for a moment, and then tapped out a response of my own.
51
Holden
When my phone buzzed on the desk, I practically jumped out of my skin and snatched it up from the spot where I had left it. I had tried to talk myself out of texting Autumn, but I figured one little message would be permissible—nothing too intense. But I didn’t realize until I got that response right back how overly invested I had been in hearing from her as I scrambled to open the reply she had sent me.
“Hey,” it read. “I miss you too. X”
My heart leaped when I saw it, and I couldn’t stop smiling. I knew I wasn’t exactly doing a breakup properly, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to hear from her, about her, anything like that—get the chance to talk to the woman I missed so much, there was a great big hole in my heart where she had once been.
“You want me to come and see you?” I shot back, knowing I was pushing my luck. Hunter was on spring break at the moment, and though I had offered to take him off for a trip somewhere, he had insisted on staying home, probably worried he was going to miss Autumn if he got out of there. I decided not to push my luck and let him hide out in his room while I got some work done. I knew how he felt. Sometimes, I wanted nothing more than to lock the door to my room and pretend the world at large couldn’t find me.
“Can’t really manage that,” she shot back. “I’m in Vegas.”
“Vegas?”
“Vegas. Zoe took me out here to cheer me up, but it’s not really working.”
“Cheer you up?”
“After what happened with us.”
I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair. She was just being nice, that was all. Just sharing a little conversation. But to me, it felt like a lifeline, something to hook on to, something I could use to pull us back together where we belonged.
“I’ve been thinking about you so much,” I replied.
“Me too,” she agreed. “I wish I could see you right now.”
The words glared up at me from the screen, and an idea bounced into my brain—an idea I instantly recognized as totally mad, of course, but an idea nonetheless. I put my phone into my pocket and began to pace the office for a moment, trying to figure out if this really was the stupidest idea I’d ever had or if there was something in there worth chasing down for a change.
Fuck it. I loved this woman. I knew that for sure, and here she was texting me to tell me she missed me and she wanted to see me. Why would I run away from that? I had spent the last ten years trying to keep everyone but my son at arm’s length, and I was so done with that right now. I needed to see her, even if that meant flying all the way to Vegas to do it.
I tapped off a text to the company who ran my pr
ivate jet. I didn’t use it often, but like the boat, it had been an indulgent purchase I couldn’t say no to when I’d gotten the money together to finally buy it. I thanked God for it right now because the thought of spending another second away from Autumn when I knew she wanted me was impossible to wrap my head around at that moment.
“Hunter?” I strode out of the office, and my son poked his head out from his room.
“Yes, Dad?”
“You want to grab some things?” I suggested. “I’m taking you down to stay with Raymond for a couple of days.”
“Why?” He furrowed his brow.
“Because it’s spring break, and you should be doing something,” I told him firmly, figuring it was for the best not to get his hopes up about Autumn. Hell, I wasn’t sure I should even be getting my hopes up yet, but here I was, letting them bubble over deep down inside of me to those places in my mind I had done my best to duck since she walked away from me.
I texted Raymond quickly and thanked God when my best friend agreed at once to take Hunter for a few days. That was the good thing about Raymond wanting to practice his parenting skills. He was always willing to take Hunter for me to squeeze in a little more rehearsal. Hunter grabbed his stuff and threw it into a bag, and I paced the hallway excitedly as I waited for him to come out.
“Ready to go?” I asked as soon as he joined me. He nodded.
“Awesome.” I grabbed his hand. “Let’s get out of here, shall we?”
“Where are you going to be?” Hunter asked as we climbed into the car. “Will you be visiting Raymond and me?”
“Of course I will,” I told him, ruffling his hair. “I’m going away on a business trip, Hunter, but I won’t be gone long. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Okay.” He eyed me curiously, and I could tell he knew there was something else going on. I turned my eyes to the road and pulled out of the driveway. I didn’t want him to guess, and I certainly didn’t want him getting his hopes up about Autumn coming back to us before it was totally confirmed one way or another.
I arrived at Raymond’s place in record time, and Hunter hopped out of the car to head straight to the guest room to dump his stuff. Raymond leaned on the doorframe as I headed up the steps, and he raised his eyebrows at me.
“You going to fill us in on what this is all about?” he asked teasingly.
“What do you mean?” I replied, not sure I wanted Raymond being able to guess the crazy shit I was about to pull. If he figured it out, he would tell me I was off my rocker and needed to calm the hell down before I scared her off for good.
“Dropping Hunter off here with such little notice?” he pointed out. “Come on, I know you well enough to remember that you don’t really do things spontaneously. Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” I assured him, and excitement flooded me at the thought of what I was going to do. “I’m actually—I’m going to see Autumn.”
“She’s right across town, isn’t she?” Raymond frowned. “Why do you need a sitter for Hunter?”
I shook my head. “She’s in Vegas right now.”
“Vegas?” Raymond exclaimed, and I gestured for him to keep his voice down.
“Hey, hey, Hunter doesn’t know about it yet,” I warned him. “And I don’t want him to. Not until I’m back at least.”
“You’re flying to Vegas to see her?” He looked skeptical, his eyes narrowed. “Is that a good idea?”
“Look, she was texting me earlier about how much she misses me and how much she wishes she could see me,” I told him. “I’m not pulling this out of my ass here. I want to see her so fucking much, and I’m not going to turn down the chance now, no matter how crazy it might seem, you know?”
“Fuck it.” Raymond shook his head, chuckling. “Sounds kind of wild to me, but you go get it, man. Just don’t have a shotgun wedding in Vegas, all right? At least without inviting us.”
“Who’s getting married?” Hunter appeared next to Raymond.
“Nobody,” I told him quickly, and I leaned down to give him a quick hug. “I’ll see you soon.”
“See you soon.” He smiled at me and then wandered back inside the house. Raymond wished me good luck one more time, and I turned back to the car to shoot over to the airport. I was so beyond ready for this. The thought of seeing her again and holding her in my arms was making the soles of my feet prickle with excitement.
I texted her after I arrived at the airport to ask what hotel she was staying in. She replied with the address and some curiosity.
“Why do you need to know?”
“You’ll see,” I told her.
“Can’t wait to find out. X”
I grinned at the kiss at the end of her message and slipped onto my private jet. Soon enough, I was shooting off across the country toward the woman I loved.
I arrived a few hours later after trying to get some work done on the plane but failing because I was so distracted by the notion of seeing her again. I got her room number and hopped a cab across the city to her hotel, my heart pounding in my chest the entire way. Please, let this be what she wanted. Please, let her be glad to see me.
I arrived at the hotel and began having second thoughts. What if it had been mild flirtation over text, a little bit of teasing to see how far I would go? The thought of that stung, and I pushed it to the back of my mind. No, no. She wasn’t like Karla. I was getting the two of them wrapped up in one another, and there was no good reason for that at all. They were utterly different people, and I was going to remind myself how utterly different they were once and for all.
I headed up to her hotel room, giving the front desk my name and letting them know who I was there to visit. I wasn’t sure they would let me through, but they must have seen the certainty in my eyes and understood there was no way in hell I was backing down, no matter what anyone said. I arrived outside her door and took a deep breath. I could do this. I had come all this way just to be close to her. And I was tired and jetlagged and nervous, but I wasn’t going to walk away from this now, no way in hell when I was finally so close to being with the woman I loved.
I knocked on the door, and she pulled it open almost at once like she had been waiting for me. She was wearing a large hotel robe, her hair wrapped up in a towel on her head, and her eyes practically bugged out of her face as soon as she saw me.
“Holden?” she exclaimed. “Holy shit, I didn’t think you would actually come.”
“I couldn’t wait to see you,” I told her, reaching out to clasp her face in my hands. I couldn’t believe how good it felt to be in her presence, to have her in my arms again. I had been sure I’d pushed things too far or freaked her out with my forwardness, but here she was with a smile spreading across her face.
“I missed you so much,” she breathed as she pulled me over the doorstep, yanking me inside the room and pushing the door shut behind me.
“You have no idea,” I agreed, as I leaned down to kiss her for the first time in what felt like forever.
52
Autumn
As soon as our lips touched, I knew I had made the right choice replying to that text. I had second-guessed it a few times when he’d been messaging me since, wondering what the hell I was encouraging with this, but I couldn’t resist the thought of pushing things as far as I could. I wanted to see him, wanted to feel his strong arms around me again, wanted to know that he had ached for me the same way I had ached for him. I missed him so badly, but he was with me again, and we could work out the details when this part was over.
“Mmm,” he moaned against my mouth as he slipped his hands beneath my robe and let it fall to the floor. He moved his fingers over my bare waist, my hips, my thighs, and I silently thanked God that Zoe was spending the evening down in the pool and sauna area. We had decided to take some self-care time individually, so she wasn’t going to come in and disturb us. The last thing I needed was to have to explain what the hell my recent ex was doing in my hotel room where I had come o
stensibly to catch a break from moping over him.
The towel slipped from my head as he pushed me onto the bed, and I pulled him on top of me, our lips not breaking for a moment. It was as though we were trying to make up for lost time. That was certainly what it felt to me, as though both of us were doing our best to remember how good it felt to be together, how hot our chemistry still was even after all this time.
I could feel him getting hard, and I moved my hand between his legs to squeeze his cock through his jeans. As soon as I touched him, a deep need rose within me. I needed him inside me more than I needed anything in the world. He bit down softly on my lip, teasing me, and I wriggled beneath him and wrapped my ankles around him, pulling him down close.
“I want…” I moaned in his ear, but I couldn’t find the words to tell him what I needed from him. He kissed down my neck, across my breasts, drawing each of my nipples into his mouth in turn. My mouth hung open uselessly, any attempts at speech vanishing as I watched him pleasure me with his tongue.
“Tell me what you want, baby,” he whispered, moving back up to look me in the eye. One hand was stroking my hair and the other was slipping down between my thighs, and the blur of sensations was making it hard to think straight.
“I want… you,” I finally managed. “Inside me.”
“How?” He dipped his fingers down against my slit, tracing them around my entrance before he pushed them briefly inside. “Like this?”
I groaned and pushed my head back into the pillow behind me as he penetrated me with his fingers. It wasn’t quite what I had been talking about, but it felt so fucking good that I didn’t care. He was grinding lazily against my thigh as he moved his fingers into me, reaching his thumb up to play with my clit as he did so. My legs began shaking, and he kissed me again as he played with me as if bringing me back down to Earth where I belonged.
“You feel so good,” he murmured against my mouth. “So wet.”
“Ah.” I groaned once more, lifting my hips and grinding back against his hand with more purpose, but I needed more than his fingers. I needed him to fuck me, to give me what I had been missing since we had last seen each other.