by Donna Alward
“It widens out soon. ATVs have a trail through here. Then it won’t be so rough.”
“I like it. I haven’t been out like this for a long time.”
She hadn’t. She’d been in town, or at work, and she hadn’t made time to get out into nature much.
“I keep saying I’m going to get a dog,” Joe confessed. “But with my hours…I don’t want to leave him or her alone all day. Sometimes, in bad weather, I crash at the station rather than try to come up the mountain. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“I know what you mean. We had a dog, you know.” Just saying it made her unbearably sad. She missed Pete. But it would have been difficult to keep him with her hours, and besides, her landlord didn’t allow pets. Pete got to stay with Darren and the bimbo.
“Had?” Joe’s gaze met hers. “Was custody a part of the divorce?”
He said it seriously; there was no sarcasm in his tone whatsoever. She nodded. “Yeah. The house was all set up for him anyway, with a dog run in the back, and no pets are allowed at the apartment.”
“Do you miss him?”
Her throat clogged a bit. After all this time, it was the dog that made her emotional. Go figure. “I do. I miss having him there when I come home. Or sleeping at the foot of the bed.”
She wanted to change the subject, so she took a deep breath and moved on. “So, do you think you’ll always live up here?”
The path widened into the ATV trail he’d mentioned. She took a few jogging steps and moved up beside him, and their pace slowed a bit.
He looked over at her and gave a little shrug. “I don’t know. I love it, but sometimes it’d be more convenient to be closer to town.”
“Oh, I don’t think you should give it up,” she replied, taking a deep breath of crisp autumn air. “It’s too nice. Maybe you’ll figure something out.”
“Maybe.”
Their footsteps made crunchy noises on the trail, and birds peeped and sang from the trees. Occasionally a puff of wind came along and rattled the leaves, a sound that seemed particular to fall, as if the foliage was paper thin and vulnerable.
“So where are we going?”
He looked over and grinned again. “Can’t you just enjoy the journey?”
“Well, I am.” She smiled back. “But I’m wondering how far it is and if I’m going to be sore tomorrow because you brought a pack. And are we going to meet any bears out here or anything?”
“You never know. If something happens, though, I don’t have to outrun the bear.”
“You don’t?” Her eyes widened. Had he brought his gun with him? Bear spray?
He chuckled. “Nope. I just have to outrun you.”
Her mouth fell open and she gave his arm a shove. “Jerk.”
His laugh echoed through the trees. “Haven’t you heard that one before?”
“What can I say? I’ve lived a sheltered life.”
His laughter died away. “Have you really, Cass? Was Darren always…did he hurt you?”
She hesitated, the lightness of the mood gone. Regret settled like a rock in the pit of her stomach. “Not in any way that you could see,” she replied quietly. She kept walking, determined to keep her tone conversational rather than stop and make a whole big deal out of it. “He just…wore me down, I guess. Made me feel like things were always my fault. Like I wasn’t good enough. I believed him for a while.” She laughed, but it was a humorless sound. “Until I caught him cheating. And I was smart enough to figure out that if he could lie about that, he was probably lying about everything else. And I kicked his sorry ass out.”
“Except…”
“Except he’s still really angry. He still thinks he should have a say in my life. Maybe he thinks he can intimidate me.”
“And can he? Are you scared?”
She stopped, and her chest cramped a little. “Sometimes. But I get through it. I can’t let him bully me.” Her breath shook as she inhaled. “As much as I wanted a family, I’m glad there aren’t any kids in the middle and that I don’t need to go to him for financial support. The restaurant’s doing well, and I’m self-sufficient. It’ll never make me rich, but I don’t care.”
“Was it a big deal to leave the restaurant behind for the weekend? I never thought…”
She shook her head. “I called my manager before we left the station last night. She’s going to keep everything going while I’m away. I hired good people and I trust them.”
Joe reached over and took her hand and she finally looked up at him. His eyes were so honest, so caring. He made her feel safe just by holding her hand. And it wasn’t only his size, or the reassuring sight of him in his rugged boots and plaid fleece. Though that didn’t hurt… It was just as sexy as his uniform.
“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with so much. If you ever need back up, I want you to call me. I’ll help. I promise.”
That made her go all warm inside. “That’s sweet, Joe. But after this weekend, I’ll be back at my place and you’ll be back at work. I’m fine, really.”
He squeezed her fingers. “The offer still stands. For as long as you need it.”
She knew he meant it. And it meant more—not less—knowing he was the kind of man who would offer that same assistance to anyone who needed it. “Thanks.”
He pulled on her hand, and they started walking again. “We’re almost there,” he said, picking up the pace. “Can you hear it?”
She didn’t know what she was supposed to be hearing, and the sound of their feet on the dirt didn’t help, but it didn’t take long before she made out a rushing sound, like wind, only it was steady and constant. “Water? Is there a creek here or something?”
“Better.” He grinned. “Come on.”
They left the main trail and started down a narrower path. They only went about fifty feet when the forest opened up and the creek that had flowed perpendicular to the trail made close to a ninety-degree turn and tumbled over an outcropping of granite. They were situated just off the bank, about halfway down, so they could see the water cascade from above, and the calmer pool at the bottom as it meandered again down the side of the mountain.
“Wow,” she breathed, putting her hands on her hips. “This is seriously pretty.”
“I know. It’s bigger in the spring, during the melt.” He led her over to a couple of large rocks, resting in what might have been a root system from a tree years earlier. “Have a seat. Close your eyes and just listen.”
She perched on the rock and obediently closed her eyes. The sound of the water filled her ears, the rush of it constant and soothing. As her attention deepened, she made out the slightly different sound of the wind in the leaves, and the distinctive calls of birds. She wished the rock were big enough for her to lie on her back and stare up at the sky. She made do with tilting her head back and she opened her eyes. The birches and pines made a canopy above her head, all green and gold against the pale blue of the sky.
The best part was that Joe didn’t say a thing. She looked over and he simply sat, his elbows on his knees, and watched the water. He was perfectly content.
And she was here with him, because he’d brought her.
Yesterday they’d been acquaintances. Today they were so much more. It had little to do with what had happened in his bedroom last night. It was deeper. Like they were the same sort of person, deep down where it mattered.
It was that knowledge that had her leaning forward and shifting off her rock. She ignored the cool, damp earth beside his perch; she knelt on the spongy forest floor and looked up at him.
“Cassidy?”
She didn’t say anything. She just pulled herself up a little taller and leaned in to kiss him.
His lips were cold, but not for long. The inside of his mouth was warm, and they kissed long and deep, taking their time. She didn’t want to rush. She wanted to savor every single moment they were together. Joe had put his hands into his pockets…to keep from reaching for her, perhaps? She smiled a little and put her hand on his
thigh for balance. And the kiss went on, and on, and on…
When every nerve ending in her body was begging for more, she backed away. Joe’s eyes were dazed and she loved that she was the cause of it. “What’s in the bag?” she asked softly, and nearly laughed when he finally blinked and came to his senses.
“Shit.” He shook his head. “You do that to a man and then ask him what’s in his backpack?”
“I wanted to kiss you, that’s all.”
“You sure did a good job.”
Joe was very good at giving her back some of her lost confidence. “Thanks.”
“I’m still supposed to be doing a job, you know.”
“We’re on a hike, Joe.” She smiled and reached around him for the bag.
“That was so you wouldn’t be bored.”
She laughed and searched for the zipper. “I could say the same.”
“Give me that. You’re becoming a pain in my ass, Cassidy Strong.”
She lifted her chin and met his gaze. “I didn’t hear you complaining.” Damned if he didn’t blush a little, and she grinned. “Besides, who’s going to know? I’m not going to tell.”
Their gazes held. There was something about what she’d just said that resonated between them. Yes, she might be disillusioned when it came to relationships, but she was still smart enough to know that sometimes the forbidden was pretty exciting. Today her need wasn’t reactive. It wasn’t because of a bad dream or wanting to feel alive, though she did want that, and there was no question that Joe made her feel that way. But today was lighter. More fun. After today she might not get another chance to see where this could lead.
They munched on trail mix bars and water and the sky began to cloud over as afternoon settled in. With the clouds came lower temperatures, and they finally left the waterfall behind and started back to the trail and the cabin. They didn’t talk much, but they didn’t need to fill the silence with chatter; it was comfortable and easy. As they neared the clearing, Cassidy hung back and watched Joe walk ahead. He was right. He should have a dog. She could just imagine him with a hound or a black lab or something, trotting at his heels.
Once they were back inside, Joe stirred the embers in the stove and added wood to get it going again. Cassidy took off her sneakers—slightly muddy now—and left them at the door. She looked down at her jeans. There were two round, damp spots where she’d knelt on the ground. Save to put on something else.
“I’m going to go change,” she announced. Once in his room, she rummaged through her bag for a pair of yoga pants. “Any word from the station?”
“None yet,” he called back, and she heard him shut the door on the stove. She shivered as she pulled on the pants. Her shirt was long-sleeved, but the fresh air and the cool cabin made her feel like she’d never warm up.
“Hey Joe, do you have an old hoodie or something I can put on over top of my shirt?”
He came to the door. “In the closet, on the shelf. Take your pick.”
She chose an oversized one in light gray. It was baggy and soft and smelled like him and she cuddled inside it for a moment before going back out into the living room. Joe was in the kitchen, and she heard the breathy sound of a kettle being heated.
“I thought you might like something hot to drink,” he suggested.
“That sounds awesome.” She smiled at him, suddenly aware that they were alone again, with no one to interrupt them. It was like they were the only two people in the world. The possibilities were endless. Perhaps the magnitude of that thought was what held her back for the moment. Endless possibility could be a bit scary in reality.
“I got a text from Sam. Our guy deposited the money in a bank in Silverton last night. Then he logged onto his banking site at a wifi hot spot and transferred his child support. It looks like he’s heading back toward Greeley. Sam’s pretty sure they’ll pick him up soon. You won’t have anything to worry about.”
“That’s good news. Why on earth would he use a bank, though?” She frowned and reached into the cupboard for two mugs. “Wouldn’t he want to keep the money hidden?”
Joe shrugged and grabbed a can of hot chocolate. “He paid his child support through a transfer. That’s probably for an official trail of the payment. He deposited just over two grand. The bank said he got less than five, so there’s still some money unaccounted for.”
She looked up at Joe and shook her head. “He risked a lot for a little bit of money. The penalty for armed robbery has got to be way more than defaulting on support.”
“Maybe he thought he’d get more.” He got a spoon out of the drawer.
“Maybe he was just desperate.” She shuddered, thinking of his harsh voice and the way he’d waved the gun around. “Desperation makes people do weird things.” She should know. Darren had gone crazy when she’d first told him she’d seen a divorce lawyer. She still had the threatening emails and texts.
She scooped powder into the mugs and once the kettle clicked off, she poured the water. Joe stirred. “Sorry. No marshmallows.”
She grinned. “The fact that you even have hot chocolate says something.”
“Wait. I have an idea.” He went to a cupboard and took down a small bottle. “Irish cream. It’s great in hot chocolate.”
He added a dollop to each cup and Cassidy took a sip. “Mmm. Delicious.”
“So.” They took their cups to the living room. Joe sat in the chair, leaving the sofa for Cassidy. It looked like today he was going to keep his professional distance. Sure, he’d kissed her back at the waterfall, but she’d been the one to initiate it.
“So,” she answered, smiling over the rim of her cup.
“What would you like to do tonight? We could watch a movie. And I do get a couple of basic channels. There’s probably a hockey game on.”
What would she like to do? She looked over at Joe and dared herself not to think about last night in his bed. Of course, she’d never been good at dares. And the shot of liquor warmed its way through her stomach and made her relax.
What I’d really like to do, Joe, is start with kissing you, then taking off your clothes. Then taking off my clothes and the two of us soaking in a hot bubble bath, our limbs slippery and soft. Then I’d take you to the bed and make sweet love to you all night long. Screw the movie.
As if she’d ever actually say that.
But…
He wasn’t going to make the first move. But why not make the most of the forced isolation? He could have put her up in a motel. Assigned another officer to her and worked the overtime. Why hadn’t he?
“A movie sounds good. And dinner. Maybe I can cook for you tonight.”
“You’re welcome to raid the pantry, such as it is.”
“Deal.”
They sipped in silence for a bit and then curiosity got the better of her. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend, Joe? Because trust me, you’re way too eligible to be spending your weekends alone up here with just the trees and bears for company. And I’m not talking about the failed blind date. I mean…if you wanted, you could snag a woman like that.” She snapped her fingers for emphasis.
He chuckled, down low. “I had one, once. I had a wife, actually. Got married right after school. It didn’t work out.”
Holy shit. Joe was divorced?
“What happened?”
He shrugged. “Aw, hell. We were just too young. Thought we knew what we wanted. It turned out she didn’t want to be married to a cop. Too much worry. Weird hours. She wasn’t…well, she wasn’t the center of attention all the time.” He sighed. “That makes her sound like she was selfish, and she wasn’t, not really. She just…well, I don’t think she was independent enough to handle it, and I didn’t want to change. I love what I do.” He sighed. “I didn’t put her first.”
Heavy. And not as easy a decision as, say, someone cheating with a younger, cheaper piece on the side.
“I’m sorry.”
“Eh. It’s water under the bridge now.” He took another drink of chocol
ate. “I think I realized that if I ever get married again, it would have to be to someone who isn’t afraid to have their own life.”
She smiled softly. “Okay, so I’m going to confess something here and you’re not allowed to laugh. I’ve actually watched The Princess Diaries.” At his confused expression, she elaborated. “It’s a book that was made into a movie. Well, two movies. Anyway, in the second movie, Amelia’s mother tells Amelia that being married is about being herself, but with someone else. It’s meant to be confusing and quirky, but I’ve always thought it was really insightful. To me, marriage is about two complete individuals choosing to share their lives with each other. They’re the same people, but they’re with someone else, and that bond makes them more. Does that make sense?”
“It does. I think. Like you shouldn’t have to change who you are in order to be with someone. You shouldn’t lose your own identity.”
“Yeah, well, it’s great in theory. I’m not sure I really buy into it.” She was just thinking about dating again. Marriage wasn’t even close to being on her radar.
He smiled at her. “Hell, what a heavy conversation. This is what happens when you don’t have cable.”
“Or internet.”
He laughed. “Or that.”
Her limbs were deliciously relaxed, but she didn’t want to fall asleep. “So, about this dinner…anything you have in mind?”
His gaze caught hers. “Surprise me.”
And just like that, the air hummed between them.
She might. She just might.
Chapter Seven
Joe listened to the sounds in the kitchen and tried to stop thinking about how Cassidy tasted. He distracted himself by remembering the sound of her voice, but then he recalled her soft, sexy laugh and realized how flawed his strategy was. Maybe he should just think about how she looked in the plain yoga pants and hoodie. But when she’d gotten up from the sofa to go to the kitchen, he’d gotten a good look at her perky ass. And the hoodie was his. It probably smelled like her now, all soft and flowery and feminine.