by Donna Alward
Why did he have to be so nice?
She spent a few minutes in the bathroom and then came out again, still naked, since her bag was on the floor at the foot of the bed. Joe was lying on his side, and when she came out he flipped down the blankets. “Come on in. I warmed up your side.”
She slid beneath the sheets, and her heart gave a little twist as he enveloped her in his arms. Damn, was he a cuddler, too?
They snuggled beneath the covers, their body heat gradually creating a cocoon of warmth while the soft cotton brushed against her skin. It had been a long time since she’d allowed herself the pleasure of sleeping naked. It had been a long time since she’d done anything like she had this weekend. Not that Joe needed to know that.
His breath was warm on her ear as he curled around her, spoon-style. “Hey, Cass?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re sure the pill’s okay? I just want you to know…well, there haven’t been that many for me. Not really.”
Interesting. “Oh?”
“My ex, and a couple of short relationships since. That’s it.”
She swallowed tightly. “For me, either. None since the divorce, if we’re being honest.”
His hand rested on her hip. “Really?”
She nodded slightly. “I think this weekend is probably really out of character for us both.”
“What do you suppose that means?”
Nothing she wanted to think about now. Just the idea made her lungs feel like they were shrinking, like she couldn’t get enough air. It wasn’t just about sex, or liking someone. It was her life in general. As much as she wanted to think she’d left her marriage behind, Darren was around all too often, reminding her of the mess. She’d decided to date again. Facing the reality of having actual emotions was something she hadn’t prepared for.
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I’ve kind of been enjoying the here and now. Everyone’s allowed to do something crazy once in a while.”
He chuckled. “If this is crazy, I wish I’d done it sooner.”
She rolled over to face him. “Let’s just deal with tomorrow when it comes, okay? I’d rather just think about tonight. And you and me and this bed. Let’s hide away a little longer, Joe.” She ran her fingers over his shoulder. “You did promise me slow, you know.”
Even in the dark she could see the spark ignite in his eyes. “I did. And I try very, very hard to be a man of my word.”
“That’s what I like about you,” she responded, moving into his touch.
Chapter Eight
The sun was up by the time Cassidy came awake. Joe was still asleep, his dark hair on the pillow, the shadow of whiskers on his chin. She ran her fingers over her skin, wondering how many spots she might have that were raw from that stubble. She could think of at least three.
But it was Sunday. The secret weekend of bliss had to come to an end. She’d go back home. Probably have a meeting or something with a social worker or counselor. Hopefully, she’d go right back to work and give her manager a break after holding down the fort.
And Joe would go back to work, too. No one would know that when he was supposed to have been protecting her, they’d been having wild and crazy monkey sex.
She looked down at the bedspread. The sheets and comforter were twisted, maneuvered into a position that covered their bodies but definitely wasn’t in the right place. It had been nearly three a.m. by the time they’d collapsed in an exhausted heap and pulled the covers up to ward off the chill. The fire had gone out long before their passion had been extinguished.
Cassidy slipped out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom. It was cold, so she hurried to pee and brush her teeth, and then she darted to her bag and grabbed a pair of panties and a T-shirt. When she turned around, Joe was propped up on an elbow, watching her put them on with a look of satisfaction.
“Good morning.” There was grit in his voice and it sent shivers over her skin. It was going to be harder than she thought to relegate this weekend to one-off status.
“Good morning yourself.” Because she was freezing, she jumped back in bed and pulled up the blankets. “Fire went out.”
“So it did.”
“We slept late.”
“We went to sleep late,” he replied, raising an eyebrow.
“So we did.”
She wondered if he was going to talk about what happened next, and curls of doubt and insecurity began to tangle down low in her stomach. But after a moment or two, he sighed, turned back the covers, and got out of bed.
What a glorious view.
He disappeared into the bathroom, and when he came back out, he’d slipped on a pair of sweats. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, but that was remedied in short order as he grabbed a T-shirt from a drawer and pulled it on.
Then he sat on the bed and looked at her with a serious expression.
“I would imagine you’d like to have a shower. And I’ll build the fire again.” She was going to say something, but he shook his head. “Look, Cassidy. I think today you want things to go back to your normal life, and that’s okay. I get it. You’ve been on a rollercoaster lately and normal probably sounds really good. So take a hot shower and I’ll make us something to eat and we’ll make this easy, okay? No regrets.”
She did want to go back to her normal life…didn’t she? It was a good life, after all. Maybe her ex was a bit of an asshat, but she had her independence, and a business she loved, and she had friends.
Except she had been looking for romance. And instead of finding it, it had found her. Boy, had it found her. Hit her like a ton of bricks.
She looked into Joe’s eyes for a long moment. He could be very hard to read; was that his law enforcement training, or what? His eyes gave nothing away, and his face remained relaxed, his lips unsmiling but not frowning, either. Had romance found him, too? Or had it simply been great sex? Scratching an itch? Heat crept into her cheeks. She would hate to assume, or make a fool of herself by thinking their time together constituted a relationship of any sort. Besides, all evidence to the contrary, she wasn’t sure she was ready for anything that resembled an actual “relationship.”
He’d said she probably wanted her life to go back to normal. Maybe he was the one who wanted it to go back to normal, and this was his gentle way of saying so.
“A shower sounds good,” she said quietly and tried a smile. “Thanks.”
“There’s no rush. Take your time.”
Morning-after awkwardness. Great.
She went to her bag and took out a pair of jeans and an oversize sweater. “Don’t worry about breakfast,” she said, keeping her face down as she rummaged for socks. “I’ve got lots of food at my apartment. I’ll be out of your hair in no time.”
“You’re not in my hair.”
She grabbed the socks, turned around, and smiled brightly. “Oh, I probably am. You probably had other things planned for the weekend. Now that I’m not in any danger, you can get back to whatever.”
She went to brush by him but he reached out and snagged her arm. “What’s wrong?”
A frown puckered her forehead. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m going to shower, that’s all.” He had gone from impassive to puzzled, so she reached for words to ease the situation. “If you want we can have breakfast at my place.”
“You’re in a rush to leave.”
He almost sounded disappointed.
Cassidy looked down at her feet. “I’m just not used to doing this, okay?”
“This what?”
She bit down on her lip, glanced up, and then away again, toward the bathroom door and an escape from all the awkwardness. “This morning-after thing. I’m not sure what to say or how to exit gracefully.”
His fingers eased on her arm. “You could start by looking at me.”
Her gaze slid to his. Was it wrong that she wanted to forget the shower and pounce on him yet again? If it weren’t so uncomfortable, it would be funny. Somewhere along the line she’d turned into a horny divorce
e. Go figure.
“You are welcome to stay for breakfast. There’s no rush to get you back to town. I’m not kicking you out, for Pete’s sake.”
He wasn’t exactly asking her to stay, either. Or suggesting they see each other again. That was what made it so awkward. It was clear that this was a one-off. Not a one-night stand, but close.
“Sorry,” she murmured, then tried to laugh a bit. “Don’t mind me. I’m just being silly.”
“Hey.” He slid his fingers down her arm and clasped her hand. “It’s fine. I’m glad that this isn’t something you’re used to.” His smile was warm. “I’m not so good at navigating it myself.”
She smiled a bit easier and held her clothes tightly against her chest. “And that’s probably a good thing, right?” She shook her head. “You know what? I probably would have been horrible at the whole online dating thing.”
“You’re not going to reinstate your profile?”
“Nuh uh.” She shook her head again and laughed a little. “I think Friday’s little episode was enough excitement for me. Plus, I was honest, but clearly this guy wasn’t. He didn’t use his real name or anything. I just…I don’t know. Maybe I’m old-fashioned.”
Joe smiled down at her, his gaze dropping to her lips for a brief moment. “Oh, you’re not that old-fashioned, Cass.” Heat had just started to spread in her chest when he let go of her hand and backed away. “Now go shower so I can make us some coffee.”
Cassidy escaped into the bathroom and closed the door, then leaned against it. Lord, she was an idiot. Why couldn’t she just be cool and blasé about the whole thing? Oh no. She had to blush and stammer and look away because all of her bravado from last night had disappeared with the appearance of daylight and sobriety.
She turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat, then stepped under the spray and hastily scrubbed her body and washed her hair. Going home was definitely the right idea. She’d get her bag, go back to her own kitchen and bed and have internet access and, well, if not forget this ever happened, at least put it behind her.
Keep this weekend as a lovely memory from a really crap time.
It wasn’t until she was dressed and back in the bedroom that she grabbed her phone and turned it on. It vibrated in her palm as it powered up, and then vibrated again and again as a flood of text messages came through.
One was from her manager at the restaurant; another from Sam at the station, with the same news he’d given Joe. The other fourteen were all from Darren, each one growing more insistent and angry at her lack of reply.
If this morning’s awkwardness hadn’t killed what little hope she’d had for romance, the text messages from her ex finished the job. She was far from being ready for anything serious.
…
Her apartment looked exactly the same, so she wasn’t sure why it felt different.
Cassidy walked through the door and put her bag down by a kitchen chair. Her coffee cup and cereal bowl from Friday morning were still on the cupboard next to the sink; she’d been making up a grocery list over breakfast and the notepad and pen were on the small table, right where she’d left them. She’d been in such a hurry to pack her bag and get going that she hadn’t touched a thing other than the necessities.
Nothing had changed at home. But she had changed. It had only been two short days, but she’d faced her own mortality, and that was a sobering thing. And then she’d been swept away to the other end of the spectrum. She’d never felt more alive than when she’d been in Joe’s strong, capable arms.
“You okay?” His deep, warm voice sounded behind her, both comforting and stimulating. He made her feel safe, but oh my. The soft tone rode along her nerve endings, making goose bumps shiver onto her skin.
“I’m okay.” She turned around and smiled at him. “Thanks for bringing me home.”
“Of course.” He shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Is there anything I can do for you? Get you?”
She shook her head. “No, of course not. I’m fine. There’s no threat anymore, and I’m snug as a bug here at home, right?” Snug as a bug? Who the hell ever said that? “I’ll probably just return some phone calls and try to get a good night’s sleep.” Never mind that it wasn’t even noon yet.
His smile lingered on his lips for an extra second, and heat crept up her neck and into her cheeks. They hadn’t exactly slept a whole lot last night…or the night before.
“This doesn’t have to be awkward,” he said, reaching out and putting his hand on her arm.
But she disagreed. “Doesn’t it? What would people say if they knew your protection detail included me spending the night in your bed?”
His cheeks turned ruddy now, and she wondered if she shouldn’t have been so plain about it.
“Sorry. That was probably really blunt, huh.”
He laughed a little and rubbed his hand over his face. “Maybe.” The laughter faded and so did his smile. “The thing is, even if we did want to see each other again…”
Her heart lifted a bit, just knowing that he’d thought about it. She wasn’t the kind of woman to have a fling and walk away without any residual feelings. It just wasn’t her style. Right now she almost wished it was. Part of her wanted to see where this might lead. The other part was grounded in reality.
“It would look bad for you,” she murmured, dropping her gaze. “I can see that. You’re in a position of authority, and trust.”
“I’m not above the rules, Cass. And I broke a lot of them this weekend. Besides, I would never want anyone to think I took advantage of…” He cleared his throat, and she looked back up at him. The desire to kiss the look of concern off his face was overwhelming.
“If anyone took advantage, it was me,” she whispered. “Not you. I wish I could say I’m sorry, but honestly, I’m not. I know we can’t carry on, but I’ll remember this weekend for the rest of my life.” Her statement sounded corny even to her ears, but it was the truth.
It was also fairly final.
“So will I,” he replied. He looked over his shoulder at the door. He’d closed it behind him when they’d come in, and he reached back and flicked the deadbolt. “I know this is it. I just…damn, Cass. I just want one last kiss before I go.”
“Me, too,” she answered, and lifted her arms so that her hands rested on his shoulders.
He put his hands on either side of her face, his fingertips stroking the crest of her cheeks as he leaned in. His lips were soft and seductive, with just the right amount of pressure, and she moaned a little as his tongue slipped inside her mouth. God, he was a good kisser. Demanding without being harsh, slow when it warranted, and with enough heat that her body tightened in anticipation. She ran her hands over his shoulders, then down over his shoulder blades and to the pockets of his jeans. Damn, but he had a fine ass.
“Cass,” he murmured against her lips, and the single word sounded so desperate, so tender, that she pulled him closer, his zipper nestled between her hipbones.
He slid his hands beneath the hem of her sweater and pushed it up and over her head in one smooth, efficient motion. His fingers found the clasp of her bra and unhooked it, and both pieces of clothing dropped to the floor. Cassidy groaned as his palm cupped her breast. They shouldn’t be doing this. They couldn’t be together. And yet…they couldn’t seem to get enough of each other, either. Want, desire, need…all those things ripped through her as she leaned her head back and Joe bent to her breast.
“One last time, and that’s it.” Her breath came in short gasps as his teeth scissored lightly at her nipple.
“Bedroom,” he responded, and to her utter delight, he swept her up in his arms.
Chapter Nine
Joe traced a finger down the center of Cass’s chest. She was so beautiful. He hadn’t felt this way for a very, very long time. Being with her was more than satisfying a need; there was a connection he couldn’t explain. Yes, right now it was very sexual. But when they were together, there was something more. A rightness
to it that went far beyond physical attraction.
Right now she was stretched out on her bed, naked as a jaybird, looking lazy and well-loved. Her dark hair cascaded over the pillow and her eyes sparkled up at him. More than that, her nipples stood proudly and begged for more of his attention. She’d posed this way on purpose, he knew. And he liked her all the more for it. Friday night she’d been afraid, and in need of comfort. He’d been drawn to that side of her, but he liked this side more. There was a quiet, feminine power about her that was incredibly alluring.
“We’ve got to stop doing this,” he said, frowning a little. His errant finger stopped just above her navel.
“We keep saying that. And then we can’t keep our hands off each other.” She rolled to her side a bit and then slid her hand down between his legs. “See? I lasted what, five minutes?”
He choked on a laugh. “You’re a very different woman today than you were on Friday.”
She slid her hand off of him and rested it on his hip instead. Her gaze met his, and the teasing look was gone. “I keep going back and forth. It’s an odd situation.”
“It is.”
“I keep asking myself what this is.” She moved her finger back and forth between them, indicating that “this” was more like “us.” “I keep telling myself that I’m involved more than you, but that’s not true, is it?”
“I’m right there with you, Cass.” His chest cramped as he admitted it. “At first I told myself that I was just helping you through a bad time. That you needed me. But last night…”
She nodded slightly, her eyes wide, and he felt himself slide deeper and deeper into complications. “Last night I threw caution to the wind,” she admitted, and a little blush touched her cheeks. “And then this morning I had second thoughts. I was sure it was just a weekend thing for you and that you…”
He knew what she was getting at, and it scared him to death. But he wasn’t a coward and he wasn’t a liar, either. “You thought I didn’t really care about you?”