by Donna Alward
“You’re saying that the whole protocol thing isn’t an issue for you?”
“It’s one I’m willing to deal with, if it means being with you.”
In that moment, a lot of things came clear for Cassidy. Despite her messy hair, wrinkled pajamas, and still-aching head, she felt a certainty that had been missing for a while now. It wasn’t pain from a failed relationship holding her back. It was fear…pure and simple. She was terrified that she’d fall in love with Joe, only to find him falling out of it with her.
“I’ve been through a horrible divorce. I’ve felt…let down, and part of that is my own doing. I’m so afraid of being let down again. Of giving anyone the power to fail me…or make me feel I’ve failed them.”
Silence fell in the kitchen. To cover the quiet, Cassidy began gathering the containers and cutlery and took them to the sink.
“Cassidy…what you’re saying is that you don’t trust me not to treat you badly.” He frowned. “I’m not the kind of man who uses a woman.”
“I didn’t think Darren was, either.”
“You can’t compare me to him.”
She spun to face him. “But I can have insecurities and fears and they’re not irrational. I don’t want to get burned again, Joe.”
“So what? You’re just going to date random guys from online dating sites to keep from being lonely and never have a meaningful relationship again?”
“You haven’t dated, either.”
“I’ve been waiting.”
Fear rushed through her heart. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s true. I was afraid, too. Afraid of what would happen if we were in the middle of the case and it was obvious that we’d had a fling. But this isn’t a fling, Cass. It’s more. At least it is for me. And last night, drunk or not, you pretty much said so, too.”
She wanted to throw her arms around him and say none of it mattered, but then she looked around her tiny kitchen. This apartment, her frugal lifestyle, her own damned dog living at Darren’s…it was all evidence to the contrary. It did matter. She wasn’t sure she could take what little there was left of her and give it to someone else.
“You came over here with breakfast to profess your feelings?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I can’t get you out of my mind, Cassidy. Please, give us a chance. Let me love you.”
She was getting close to giving in, but those last four words stopped her cold. Love…it was too much. Too scary, too heavy, too everything.
“I can’t, Joe. I’m sorry. I really, really am.” Even as she said it, she felt as if a hole was opening inside her, making an empty space that might never be filled.
His brow furrowed for a moment, and then he took one last drink of coffee and put the cup down on the counter. “Well. That’s clear enough. I should probably be going. I’m on shift again this afternoon.”
“Thanks for breakfast and for checking in with me.” She walked him to the door and held it open. “And I’m sorry, Joe. You’re a wonderful guy. You deserve someone who can give you everything, and I can’t.”
He turned and went to his SUV, and Cassidy took a step backward and shut the door. This was the right thing, wasn’t it? Then why was she feeling like she’d just made a huge mistake?
Chapter Twelve
Thursdays tended to be busy at the Forge. Cassidy had happy hour specials that went from four until six, and most tables were full. Today’s special was a pitcher of beer and a platter of nachos for fifteen dollars. The kitchen was handling things fine, but she found herself pouring pitchers from what was on tap at the bar. After six, the munchie crowd would thin and it would be back to regular dinner guests.
Still, she’d been on her feet since eleven, when they’d opened, stopping only briefly to inhale a sandwich mid-afternoon. Her hair was starting to come out of her braid a little bit, but she didn’t have time to fix it. Maybe in a little while.
At least work had helped her keep her mind off of Joe for the past few days. It worked great until he walked through the doors at seven fifteen, still in his uniform. The rush had calmed somewhat, but she still hadn’t had time to fix her hair. She watched from behind the bar as he was shown to a table. Just the sight of him could still send her pulse racing. She wished it wasn’t so. It had been four days of torture, of congratulating herself for being strong and then crying and berating herself for being foolish, scared, and stupid. Most of all, she’d done a lot of thinking about things he’d said. Especially one question.
You’re just going to date random guys from online dating sites to keep from being lonely and never have a meaningful relationship again?
She wasn’t even thirty years old. At some point she was going to have to trust someone and let them in. She wanted to be happy. She wanted marriage and children and all the things she’d thought she was going to have when she’d said “I do.”
Now he waltzed in here like nothing had ever happened, smiling at Kelsey, the hostess. It annoyed her. He should at least have the decency to look a little bit awkward and a lot less sexy. She couldn’t think straight. All it took was one look at him and she started to turn to mush.
He took off his jacket, hung it on the back of his chair, and sat down. Then he looked up and saw her behind the bar and offered a small smile.
She could do this. It was business, after all. They were going to live in this town for a long time, and they were going to run into each other.
She filled a glass with iced water, grabbed a menu, and went to his table. “Joe.” She put down the water and handed over the menu. “Just for one this evening? Or are you waiting for another blind date?”
Oh, why had she said that? She’d meant to be glib and casual, but it hadn’t come out that way at all. She had sounded…snide.
“I’m waiting, actually. I’m hoping she’ll join me shortly.”
Oh. Her heart sank.
“Well, let me know if you need anything in the meantime. Would you like a drink of anything?”
He shook his head. “I’m still in uniform. Water’s fine.”
She went back to the kitchen. Her face was flaming and for some stupid reason tears pricked at her eyelids. She ripped the elastic out of her hair and started to rebuild her braid, her fingers ruthlessly efficient as she pulled on the strands. Just like that, he was on a date. Well, bully for him. She didn’t need him. She didn’t need anyone.
Needing wasn’t the same as wanting, though, and that stopped her up every time.
“Hey, Cassidy? I think your phone is buzzing or something.” Gilbert, one of the cooks, nodded toward her desk around the corner. “It sounds like it’s vibrating up against something.”
She thought about letting it be, but the distraction was welcome. “Thanks, Gil.” The buzzing stopped when she picked it up, but the notification icon was on…and when she swiped her screen it showed activity at NMFR.
Interesting. She hit the link and was sent to her profile. At the bottom of the screen the cowboy hat was lit up—she had a hat tip from someone.
She touched the hat and a bubble popped up that said Lawman32 has sent you a hat tip!
Lawman32? She tapped the name and up popped the profile.
She nearly dropped the phone.
It was Joe.
Her office chair was only a few feet away, and she sank into it, her cheeks hot. He hadn’t…but it was him. All dark hair and stormy eyes and luscious lips…
It showed his age as Summer—under forty—and that he was divorced. His likes and dislikes included walks in the woods, whiskey by the fire, and independent brunettes.
She bit down on her lip.
He’d set up a profile. And he’d found hers and made the first move.
Before she could think better of it, she hit the wink icon.
It was only thirty seconds and her phone buzzed in her hand again. This time it was a direct message.
Lawman32: Hi FoodieGirl. Would you like to have dinner sometime? I know a great place.
She choked on a laugh and
messaged back.
FoodieGirl: What on earth are you doing?
Lawman32: What does it look like? I’m wooing you.
She pressed a hand to her heart. He really was. She got up and poked her head around the corner, sneaking a look through the kitchen to the dining room. He was sitting there, phone in one hand, holding his water glass in the other as he took a sip. She darted back into the office, her heart beating fast.
FoodieGirl: What about what people will say? I hear you live in a small town where there’s a lot of gossip.
She waited.
Lawman32: I’m not the kind of guy to let something like that keep me from being happy. I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to prove to you that I’m a good guy who won’t leave at the first sign of trouble. What do you say? Start with dinner and see how it goes?
Carrying on over text now was stupid. If he meant it, if he really meant it, she’d meet him half way. Her feelings for him weren’t going away on their own. No one else measured up, and she was starting to think that no one else ever would. Everything she’d said to him about being afraid was true. But in acknowledging her vulnerabilities, she felt more empowered to fight them—instead of fighting her feelings for him.
She ran her hands down her shirt front, smoothing the fabric as best she could, and took a moment to freshen her lipstick and swipe a finger beneath her eyes in case she had any makeup smudges. Then she took a big breath, let it out, and stepped out of the kitchen.
He looked up. Their gazes caught, and so did her breath. He put down his phone, never breaking eye contact. By the time she reached his table, she could barely breathe.
“Sorry I’m late for dinner. I got caught up in the office answering some messages.”
She slid into the chair opposite him. He held out his hand, palm up, resting it on the white tablecloth. The moment she put her fingers in his, he clasped them tightly.
“Don’t apologize. Better late than never.”
“Are you sure?”
His thumb rubbed against hers. “I’m sure. I’m really, really sure. We’ve got all the time in the world, Cass. I won’t walk away if you won’t.”
She looked down at the napkin and cutlery on the table, blinking quickly. She hadn’t expected this. Not in a million years. “But I sent you away…”
“And I listened to what you said—that you were afraid I’d give up and walk away. So I decided that I’d show you I won’t. I’ll be here, even when it’s difficult. And maybe after a while you’ll trust in me. In us.”
She looked up, her lips open in surprise. “I don’t know what to say.”
His fingers squeezed tighter. “Say you’ll give us a chance. One step at a time, right?”
“Right.” She smiled, and something new lit up inside of her. Something she rather suspected was joy. “I’m not good at putting myself out there, but I’ll try. I’ve thought about you constantly since that weekend, Joe. It was more than just…” She looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. “More than just sex for me, too. I felt a real connection, and that scared me. So I have to make a conscious decision to not let fear run my life anymore. Starting with this.”
She got up from her chair and went to him, oblivious to whoever else was in the room, and did what she should have done Saturday morning. She kissed him on the lips. Not too long, but a sweet, soft kiss that sealed whatever deal they were making tonight.
“I’ve missed that,” he murmured, as she took her seat again. “You know, we said one step at a time, but could I possibly suggest a first step right now?”
She had no idea what he was going to request, but she was pretty sure she’d say yes to just about anything. That kiss still hummed on her lips.
“What?”
“Can we please go in and delete our profiles on that website once and for all?”
Her smile widened as his chuckle warmed her heart. “Consider it done.” She sent him a wink. “And I think we should skip dinner and get take-out. What do you say?”
He grinned back, and anticipation swirled through her belly.
“I say that’s the best idea I’ve heard in weeks. But Cass?”
She was getting up from her chair when he said her name.
“Don’t take too long, okay? It feels like I’ve been waiting for you forever.”
She blew him a kiss. “And we have some time to make up for. But I’m ready to start if you are.”
About the Author
Donna lives on Canada’s east coast with her family which includes a husband, a couple of kids, a senior dog and two crazy cats. When she’s not writing she enjoys reading (of course!), knitting, gardening, cooking…and is a Masterpiece Theater addict. You can visit her on the web at www.DonnaAlward.com and join her mailing list at www.DonnaAlward.com/newsletter.
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Firefighter Roberto DeRosa’s career is over. After an accident leaves him struggling with words, communicating with people is difficult, but Dani Hodge has a way of seeing through the walls he’s put up, and being with her makes him want to try.
The Favor
a novel by Blaire Edens
Single mom Anna Bishop doesn’t want help from anyone, but she does need a superhero for the birthday party she’s has planned for her seven-year-old. Luckily, her best friend’s brother agrees to suit up and play the role. When architect Clark Wainwright agrees to do his sister a favor, he never expects to end up in a pair of tights, not to mention the tight spot he ends up in when he creates trouble for his sister’s best friend. Clark is a fixer, and he’ll do whatever it takes to fix the problem he causes…even of it means proposing.
Captivating the Cowboy
Jenna Bayley-Burke
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2017 by Jenna Bayley-Burke. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce, distribute, or transmit in any form or by any means. For information regarding subsidiary rights, please contact the Publisher.
Entangled Publishing, LLC
2614 South Timberline Road
Suite 109
Fort Collins, CO 80525
Visit our website at www.entangledpublishing.com.
Select Contemporary is an imprint of Entangled Publishing, LLC.
Manufactured in the United States of America
First Edition June 2017
Dedicated to
Natalie, Sidney, Clara, & Harper
Always remember, no one knows you better than you know yourself.
Chapter One
Slade Weston’s broad shoulders led the way as he pushed through the heavy mahogany doors and into the wood-paneled lobby at Cattlemen’s, the only steakhouse in the three-stoplight town of Opal Creek. Jules’s stomach dropped as he glanced behind her, to the table he’d vacated minutes ago. With as busy as they were on a Friday night, she’d reset it as soon as he’d cleared the sidewalk.
“Did you forget something?” She didn’t have to check the seating chart to know they were full; there were two tables about to turn, but they were reserved for the couples waiting patiently in the lobby. Sure, people could drive the half-hour from here into Mollalla for more selection, or even the hour into Portland for a food cornucopia, but just as many people made the trip in the other direction. Her uncle had made a name for himself with his blue-collar brand of upscale dining. Cattlemen’s topped the list of the best steakhouses in Portland every year, all the way out in Podunk.
Slade closed his eyes and shook his head, his light brown gaze piercing through her when he opened them. “I should have mentioned I was coming back.”
Yes, but that didn’t solve the problem. She snagged a leather-bound menu and crooked her finger at him to foll
ow. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.”
She didn’t know who she felt worse for, Slade or his ditched date. For almost a year now, he’d been coming in every Friday night with a different woman each week. There weren’t that many available women in Opal Creek, but apparently everyone from the neighboring counties had gambled for a chance at his glass slipper.
The whole town knew sexy Slade wanted to get married. At least that was the rumor going around. But a man who looked like that wouldn’t have any trouble tying the knot if that’s what he genuinely wanted. Any red-blooded woman would exchange her panties for a ring from a Weston brother. Well, marriage-minded women. Which she was not.
Tucked behind the bar were four high-backed leather booths. They kept the one in the back corner empty for employees, loyal customers who needed a favor, and situations like this. She set the menu in front of him as he slid into the booth.
“Do you need some time with the menu, or should I have them walk a rib eye near the grill?”
Oh, that smile. Yes, he must be a player of the first order. Because his grin was irresistible.
“Am I that predictable?”
“Apparently not, since I was sure you’d left with your lady of the evening.” She tucked the menu under her arm. Curiosity niggled at her to find out what his obsession was with first dates. He might be toying with his parade of women, but she sensed something more.
He pushed back his sun-streaked hair. “Isn’t that a hooker?”
“Where?” Jules scanned the sedate restaurant. Nothing exciting ever happened here, even on the busiest nights.
“A lady of the evening. That’s what they called hookers in the westerns my dad and granddad used to watch.” He tilted his head, and she couldn’t tell if he were amused or annoyed. Amused she could work with, but she couldn’t let him leave tonight displeased. Weston Ridge provided the prime beef for Cattlemen’s, and her uncle would have her head if he lost the deal.