by A. J. Downey
Whole.
Heart pounding in her chest, she felt the echoing thudding of his through their connection. Heard him call her name again, soft mixed with something she again didn’t recognize. “Francine.” Soft and fractured, like she had broken something in him. Fear thrilled through her as she tipped her head to face him, seeing his eyes open and staring at her.
“Honey,” still fractured, but she saw the smile lines at the corner of his eyes crinkle, so she knew this wasn’t a bad thing. “Love you.” That whisper was still fractured, but she knew what it was now. Whole.
“Love you, too, Goose,” she whispered back and saw his pupils flare again, his lips tipping up as he leaned in to trace across her cheek with the tip of his nose. He didn’t correct her and she smiled.
Claimed.
“Yeah,” he said, settling his weight on her, pinning her in place in a way that she never wanted to be let go again. Wanted to stay there forever. Need. Whole. Love.
Definitely not settling this time, Francine, Grandma whispered and Fran smiled happily, not afraid to show Goose what was in her heart because he already knew.
Love.
Raised in the south, MariaLisa learned about the magic of books at an early age. Every summer, with the help of a gracious librarian who did not believe in age-restricted stacks, she would spend hours in the local library, devouring books of every genre. Self-described as a book-a-holic, she says “I always loved to read, then I discovered writing, and I adored that, too. For reading … if nothing else is available, I’ve been known to read the back of the cereal box.” She still reads voraciously, and always has a few books going in paperback, hardback, or on devices.
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Laying Ghosts to Rest
Vera Quinn
Chapter 1
I finally have arrived in Nowhere, Texas. It was a long dusty ride. I have been traveling around for the last six years. No destinations set and never staying in one place very long. I made a point to make very few friends, just casual acquaintances and only one special friend. If I let no one get close, then they can’t hurt me. I have had enough hurt to last a lifetime. If I hadn’t gotten the call that my Gran had died, I wouldn’t be here now.
This town is full of bad memories and people I don’t want to see, or for them to see me, until I am ready. That will be unavoidable, but I will deal. My Gran was the only person in this world who loved me for me and now she is gone.
I push my motorcycle into Gran’s small garage and lock it up. I get my bag and my gun. My bike is my pride and joy. It belonged to my grandpa and I would spill somebody’s blood over it. My Gran gave it to me to roll out of this place, so I did and didn’t look back. I’m sure she had to face hell over it. My dad thought my older brother, Matty, should have it. Why would a girl need a motorcycle? Of course, why would a female want anything for herself?
Once I’m sure my bike is safe, I get my Gran’s hidden key under her big flower pot outside the garage door. There’s a breezeway between the house and the garage and Gran always kept a big pot of fake flowers right outside the garage door. Underneath it hidden in the dirt she left a key just for me. She said while she was still alive it would be there. That way if I ever needed to come home I always had a way in. I dig it out and set the pot back in place.
As soon as I get inside I smell home. Gran always burnt honeysuckle candles and that was my home smell. Sounds silly, even in my head, but when I would miss her I would buy a honeysuckle candle and burn it. It would always sooth my nerves. That smell is everywhere in this house. It brings tears to my eyes. I’ll never see my Gran’s smiling eyes again or feel her arms wrapped around me again.
I let a single tear fall down my cheek and then I suck it up. I can almost hear her saying don’t shed any tears over me, baby doll. I’m going to see your grandpa. I have missed that man.
The thought of them two together again makes me smile. I go in and start turning on lights. I see Gran’s coffee cup in the sink. I walk in the living room and beside her chair on her little table is her glasses. She would sit in her rocker and watch TV and work her puzzle books. Right there under her glasses is her puzzle book.
I look at the big clock on the wall and it is after eleven at night. I go back to the kitchen and lock the door and turn the light off. I feel lost here without Gran. The best thing I can do tonight is go upstairs and try to sleep. I go back in the living room and turn the light off and find my way to the stairs. I know every step of the way. Gran never moved anything. I could walk in here blindfolded, I spent so much time here as a child.
I make my way up the stairs and into Gran’s room. I go over to her bottom drawer in the dresser and pull out one of her cotton gowns and inhale the smell. I lay my bag on the floor and put my gun on the nightstand. I strip down out of my clothes and pull the gown over my head. I go to the big four poster bed and pull back the light quilt and sheet and climb up in the middle of her big king size bed. I snuggle down under the covers and nestle my head into Gran’s feather pillow.
I’m home but tomorrow I face my Gran’s last wishes. I finally let go and let the tears fall. I cry until I can’t cry anymore and sometime in the night I fade into a fitful sleep.
I wake up with light coming in through curtains. I know it is still early but I am always an early riser so I get up and make my way into the bathroom. I take a quick shower and get out and wrap one of the soft big towels around me. I reach down where I know there are extra toothbrushes and sure enough there’s a whole multi pack of them. I grab one and brush my teeth and then brush out my long blonde hair.
The whole time I am working the tangles out I am swearing I am cutting it but I have said the same thing for two years. My hair is long, and a dishwater blond color. My Gran always loved it but to me it is like everything else about me, nothing special.
I look in the mirror and my blue eyes aren’t a deep blue like everyone falls in love with but more of a grey-blue. I have circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep in the last few days. My face is tanned from being in the sun so much and I have a sprinkle of freckles over my nose. I look down at the rest of me.
My boobs have never been over large but they are more than a handful. My stomach isn’t exactly flat anymore, but who the hell cares? I’m not trying to get anyone’s attention. At five foot six, I’m neither considered too short, nor too tall. My ass has curve to it but it doesn’t jiggle too bad. My legs are muscular from walking. My main job for the last few years has been waitressing and I walk plenty so they stay toned. I tan easily so my skin has a sun kissed color to it. I’m not one of those women that is real body conscious. If I don’t jiggle too much in the wrong places and I still fit in my clothes, then all is good. Gran always said life is too damn short to fret over unimportant shit. I loved that woman.
I smooth some of Gran’s lotion on my skin and then wrap up tight in the big towel. I open the bathroom door and head on out the bedroom. I’m walking down the hall when I hear footsteps on the stairs I turn around just in time to see the one man I was hoping I would be able not to see while I was here. There at the top of the stairs stands Matty, my brother, and Sebastian, the man I have been running away from for the last six years. “When did you get in, Lottie?” Matty asks.
“Late last night.” I say going on into my old room. Matty and Sebastian follow me. Sebastian’s eyes never leave me but he doesn’t say a word.
“Why didn’t you come to Ma’s or call the clubhouse?” I might as well nip this in the bud right now.
“Matty
, I won’t be coming by Ma’s or calling the clubhouse ever again. As in never. I came to take care of Gran and then I am back on the road.” I say with a strength I didn’t even think I could possess this early in the morning.
“The name is Bear. I haven’t been Matty since you left. You were the only one to ever call me that.” Matty is my older brother and he was just a prospect when I left here. By the look of his cut he is more than that now. I love my brother but I wish he had chosen a different way of life. He is going down the same path our dad did.
“Okay Bear, I did not lose anything at Ma’s or the clubhouse. If I was going to see anyone it would be you.” That got an eyebrow lift from Sebastian. “Do you think you could step out so I can find clothes to wear? I really don’t need an audience.”
“Sure, we’ll be downstairs. I’ll start some coffee.” Matty tells me. I look directly at Sebastian.
“You can leave, Sebastian. You’re not needed or wanted here.” I throw as much attitude behind that statement as possible
“I’ll be staying.” They leave the room and shut the door behind them. I go and lock it. Sebastian Reyes could still take my breath away but I will not let him know that.
I look in my old closet and clothes I left here are still hanging there. I pull out an old pair of jeans and some old t-shirt I had folded on my top shelve. I go to the dresser and get some panties and a bra. I knew my Gran would never get rid of my things. In fact, this room looks just like the day I left it but cleaner. I quickly dress and put on a pair of old chucks from the bottom of my closet.
I go back to Gran’s room and dig my phone out of the pocket of my pants and my keys. I put my gun in my Gran’s nightstand. I go down the stairs and smell the coffee before I ever make it to the kitchen.
I go straight to the sink and wash out Gran’s coffee cup and move to the pot of coffee and make me a cup. Matty and Sebastian are sitting at the table so I go over and sit down. I may as well get this over with.
“Gran’s attorney said she had a stroke while at the center. Mr. Kellum also said she died before the ambulance had time to arrive. He said I had to be here because I am the executor to her will and I am to make sure her last wishes are carried out. Is there anything I am missing?” I look at Matty and wait for him to answer.
“Is that all I get? No, how are you? How’s life treating you? How’s the family?” I see that Matty is completely serious. He’s not going to let me keep my distance from him. We used to be close. I see the hurt in his eyes and I can’t bear the thought I put it there.
“Okay, Matty. Because that is who you will always be to me, not Bear, I get it. I’m sorry. It’s just a defense mechanism to keep people at a distance. I didn’t mean for it to hurt you. How are you?” He cocks his head to the side and gives me that slow smile and this is my brother. The only man in this town I have missed.
“Why, Charlotte Spencer, I am doing just fine. I have missed you, Lottie. Yes, Gran went fast. Ma is beside herself, so if you could, give her a little of your time while you are here. She’s going to be happy to have her daughter back home. We’ve all missed you. Dad is at the clubhouse most of the time if you want to see her without him. They will both be at the funeral home when the arrangements are made since you are here now. I was coming by to make sure everything was still locked up and no one had messed with anything. I was going to turn the air and everything off, but since you are already here there is no need.” I hear the sarcasm in his voice. I think carefully about what I am going to say. No need to piss Matty off.
“I said when I walked out of Ma’s house I would not be back and I meant every word. I will not be at the clubhouse either, nor will I be calling it. Let’s cut the bull and get down to it. I no longer am a part of dad’s family. His words not mine. I no longer carry the anger I had. I just will not be a part of something where I have no voice. Believe it or not, I have loved the last six years on the road living my life by my own terms. I don’t want to fight with you Matty. I want to honor Gran by carrying out her last wishes and then I want to get out of this town and back on the road. I don’t want to fight with ma, dad, or even you, Sebastian.” I look at Sebastian.
He’s as sexily handsome as he always has been. He has gotten bigger in the last six years. His chest is wider and more muscular. He’s sporting a mustache and goatee. I’m not usually a facial hair type of woman but it works for him. “I just want to be left alone so I can do what was asked of me. Gran left very explicit wishes with Mr. Kellum. I intend to follow them and then leave.”
“So you’re just going to walk away from us again. We’re your damn family. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Ma and Dad aren’t as young as they used to be and it would seem like their only daughter might want to spend some time with them before she disappears again for who knows how long.” Matty says in a low almost icy voice.
“Do you think I am just going to let you leave again? What about your family at the club? Did they piss you off, too?” Sebastian asks. I won’t even look at him again. I take a deep breath. This is not good for anyone. I know if I fly off the handle and start yelling that it will solve nothing. I want them to hear what I am saying and want them to understand I’m not changing my mind. I drink some coffee to give myself a moment. Then I look straight at my brother and state very calmly.
“Dad said I had to get on board with how the club ran if I was going to be a part of it with Sebastian. He said the rules were, I had to marry Sebastian and be the good ol’ lady and wife, have his children, keep his bed at home warm, and hold down the house while he was away on club runs or in jail and ask no questions. After all, I was in love with Sebastian at the time and trusted him with everything that was mine, so of course I agreed.
“What I was too ignorant to realize is that like all the men in the club, when I was supposed to keep Sebastian’s bed at home warm, he was busy having sex with every club bunny there was. I had Sebastian’s word that would not be the case. He loved me and there would be no one else. Dad said if he did not keep his word he would make him wish he had. If I remember right, you also said words along those lines.”
I look at Matty and he at least has the decency to look like he might be sorry for his actions. “I accepted that would be my role after I graduated and we were married. I was officially his. The night Sebastian was given his cut you know I went there to surprise him. He thought I was still out of town with Suzy getting a prom dress but I came back early. The surprise was all on me though. Sebastian was in the common room with not one, but two club bunnies on him. That would have been bad enough, but dad was on another couch with his cock down some other club skank’s mouth and you dear brother were watching it all happen since you were just a prospect and couldn’t take part.
“All my club uncles and friends were there. Watching on and doing their own thing. I thought I would never feel as hurt as I was in that minute but I was wrong. I ran out of there and straight to Gran’s. I couldn’t go home. I would have to tell Ma and then it would be my fault if her and dad broke up. I was not only hurt but filled with guilt over what I had witnessed. Did a one of you even come to check on me?” I look at Matty and then went on. “Nope, not a one. Gran consoled me. The next morning Gran called Ma.” Then Matty interrupts me.
“We know all this. It’s old shit.” Matty sounds pissed.
“Listen to me or leave.” I tell him.
“I just don’t get the point.” Matty tells me. I pick up where I had left off.
“Ma and Dad both showed up. Gran made them listen to everything I had to say. Ma looked embarrassed but dad just listened as if it didn’t even matter. I told Ma everything but she just sat there looking at the floor. I told them how hurt I was and I couldn’t believe everything I had seen.
“After I was finished Dad looked at me and told me to grow up and accept it. It’s the way things are in the club and it is better if I just accept it and it’d go a lot easier. I asked Ma if she accepted it and she just nodded her head yes. I couldn�
��t and wouldn’t accept it. Not in this lifetime or the next. I told them just that. Dad said I would either accept it or I wasn’t his daughter and he went out the door.
“Ma finally spoke up and said it isn’t that bad. I just couldn’t let it fester and let it eat me alive. That dad was a good man and he would always love me but he had his code he lived by. That was it, Matty. Dad had always told me I had to make a man respect me. There was no way that was respect. Dad and Ma have stood by their word all this time and so do I. I do not, nor will I ever, disrespect dad or ma. I do not disrespect the Demented Revengers MC. I just chose not to live my life that way. That’s all I have to say on it.” Then I look at Sebastian.
“You and I were over the minute I saw you with another woman. I don’t have anything against any member of the club. I just chose not to be a part of it. To do that I had to leave. Believe it or not some bikers believe in monogamy. It’s each person’s personal choice, as it should be. I believe in being able to look at myself in the mirror every morning and I can.” That’s all I have needed to say for so long. “I choose me. Selfish, maybe, but it is my life and I am going to live it by my rules. When this is over I am gone.”
“Lottie, things aren’t the way they were six years ago. Spider isn’t even our President anymore. As you can see I’m patched now. Dad and the old timers don’t make the rules anymore. Hell, Jag is our President now. He used to be one of your best friends.” He’s right. Jeremy was one of my very best friends all through high school. Sebastian used to hate him.
“Is Jeremy still with Lisa?” Lisa was my other best friend. I hadn’t talked with either of them since I left town. I just thought it was better that way.