by Lizzy Ripp
She linked her arm through Julia's, and though Julia bristled, she didn't want to make a scene.
"Drink?" She asked, guiding Sasha towards the bar where they could have a chance of speaking a little more privately.
The two women stood at the bar, Julia ordering a gin and soda for herself, Sasha ordering a vodka cranberry. As the bartender bustled about getting their drinks, Sasha leaned lazily on the bar and looked up at Julia.
"You look a lot different," she said. "I don't know why you're so upset. Getting Daniel out of your life obviously agreed with you," she drawled, eyeing Julia up and down with a critical eye.
"Yes, well, it wasn't so much the result but the method," Julia said flatly.
"Oh, come on," Sasha rolled her eyes, her fake eyelashes almost reaching her eyebrows. "If it hadn't been me, it would have been someone else. He was ready to jump into bed with anyone," Sasha said as she took her vodka cranberry wordlessly from the bartender and downed it in a single extended gulp. She eyed Julia curiously then, taking in her obviously troubled face and smiled coldly. "What did he say to you?"
Julia started. "Nothing. He explained why he came and wished me good luck. That's it."
Sasha laughed, a high, strange, barking laugh that caused several people around them to stop and stare. Julia smiled nervously.
"I can see why she's the actress and not you," Sasha said. "You're a terrible liar. Look, cut the crap. I know he came here hoping to get you back. I know that he's using me. But I don't care," she said simply, shrugging her shoulders. "Why would I? I'm using him too."
I don't know why people hold onto things for so long. Especially things that don't work," Sasha said, placing the glass lazily back on the counter behind her. "Whether you know it or not - and not that I'm much of an expert in this field myself - your relationship wasn't working. You should be glad I took him off your hands. I made myself the villain and you -", she gestured vaguely to Julia, "You got to be the wronged good girl who wound up in the arms of a superstar athlete. You can't buy that kind of publicity. I gave you that," she added, stabbing a talon-like, Pepto Bismol pink nail into her own chest.
"And if revenge is more your thing, we can make that happen too," she shrugged, grinning wickedly over at Julia. "Because I can't buy publicity like that either."
Julia shook her head blown away by a world of intrigue and plotting that she understood absolutely nothing about. "I don't want revenge. On either of you. I just want tonight to go well and then... Whatever this is, is done, okay? I'm not interested in publicity, I'm not interested in stealing your thunder, I'm not interested in knowing either of you. I don't care," she emphasized, conscious to keep her face as bland as possible and her voice even and emotionless. The last thing she wanted was to attract attention to this lunacy.
"Sure you don't," Sasha snorted. "You just happened to make your next boyfriend a celebrity sports player. Really going for nondescript there, huh?"
Julia was fast losing her cool. "My relationship with Yaro Sharapova has nothing to do with you or Daniel or anyone except the two of us."
"Mmm that's not what I think," Sasha said, pulling a cocktail cherry out from a jar behind the bar without asking and popping it into her mouth, holding the stem between two of her outrageous, pointed fingertips. "In fact," she said, cocking her head, "If you ask me, the whole thing is nothing more than a publicity stunt. Yours and this one's both," she said, gesturing to Cassie and Jonathan who looked, no matter the insinuation, to be enjoying one another's company immensely, the two of them turned into one another, Jonathan's hand on Cassie's thigh. "Though I have to admit they do a better job of it than you and the Russian can manage."
"That's ridiculous," Julia said automatically, turning away from Sasha.
"Please," Sasha said. "Do you know who you're talking to? I knew as soon as I ran into you with Daniel at Blue Rock. That kiss..." she made a small sound of derision. "I've seen more convincing acting at strip clubs."
"I bet you have," Julia said coolly. "But that has nothing to do with me."
Sasha pulled lazily on the cherry stem between her lips and smiled, her glossy lips pouty and amused. "Hey," she shrugged. "It's nothing to me. I just hope you're getting something amazing in return," she went on, her voice innocent and sweet. "Imagine if all of this blew up - I mean... You'd want to walk away with something concrete, wouldn't you?"
"Are you threatening me?" Julia asked, genuinely surprised, her eyebrows shooting skywards. "Do you seriously think anyone would believe you?"
She laughed, covering her mouth with her hands. "Oh my god. No. I have more serious fish to fry than exposing your lame-ass publicity stunt. I'm giving you genuine advice that I wish someone had given me - make sure you get yours," she said, carefully enunciating each word. "Because everyone will try to put one over on you," she finished, her gaze fixed on Daniel where he stood talking (and no doubt charming the pants off) a member of the board of directors. He saw Sasha waving - and noted Julia's proximity with a small frown of worry, but gave a wary wave in return nonetheless. "Everyone," Sasha repeated firmly.
With a final, odd smile, she sauntered off on her gigantic platforms, ambling easily across the ballroom floor as if she were trailing her way up a beach. It didn't take long for the row of photographers to find their way back to her and she was enveloped once more by a cloud of flashing lights.
Confused, Julia made her way back to her own table, where Cassie and Jonathan had relocated and were now sitting enjoying a glass of Champagne each and flirting shamelessly with one another – heedless of whether or not they were being observed.
Cassie smiled up at her as she sat down. "You look like someone just asked you to do long division," she said, laughing at her friend's baffled face. "What on earth were you two talking about?"
Julia relayed their strange conversation and both Cassie and Jonathan looked about as puzzled as she felt by the end of it.
"Just be on your guard," Cassie suggested, her lips pursed. "It sounds like she might be up to something."
Julia nodded grimly. "Oh don't worry. I will be."
---
After what seemed like ages, the benefit was finally brought to a start with an opening address by Malerie, who gave a lengthy introduction, taking time to "especially thank" nearly everyone in attendance. It would have been irritating, Julia thought, if the woman wasn't so utterly endearing and brimming with good intention. After this, there was some acknowledgement of the beneficiaries in attendance as well as the board of directors. Julia felt like her stomach was tying itself in knots as she went over the major points she wanted to address in her short speech again and again. Why did I agree to this? She thought miserably, her palms beginning to sweat.
She heard her name over the microphone and suddenly a round of applause and smiling faces were being directed her way. Cassie urged her up to the stage with a subtle wave of her hand and a mouthed 'Go!' and almost before she knew what was happening, Julia was onstage, alone, in front of the microphone, with an expectant audience gazing at her in rapt attention.
"Um. Hello everyone," she said, wincing as the microphone squealed slightly in feedback. Malerie rushed out to adjust it and then scurried off back into the small stage's wings just as quickly. Not a great start. Julia closed her eyes for just a moment - she was determined to do this. She took a deep breath, smiled and began again.
"Hello," Julia said, her voice firm and warm. "My name is Julia Delroy - and today I want to tell you how Beyond the Ice brought me back to my brother. I lost him to suicide when we were seventeen years old.“
After that initial introduction, Julia‘s speech passed in a blur. She let her talking points fall by the wayside and to expressed herself as openly as possible, honestly and straight from the heart. It was easier than she ever could have imagined.
"Finding this place," she finally said, "Has been my gateway back to Jacob. Being surrounded by people who know what these kids and former pros alike are going through - who un
derstand the depth of what they've lost and who are also capable of showing them the incredible immensity of possibility they have ahead of them... It's changed my life. I believe that if Jacob had had somewhere like this to turn to when he'd needed it the most, he might very well be with us today. But I didn't get to save my brother," Julia said, her voice catching a little in her throat. She cleared it gently. "But I hope by supporting Beyond the Ice… Maybe I can save someone else's. Thank you."
For a moment, there was no clapping at all and Julia felt a hot flush rising to her cheeks. But suddenly, she realized in shock that this was because there wasn't a dry eye in the house. For a moment, all she heard was a few sniffles and then suddenly someone started clapping and the room burst into applause.
“Oh my goodness, that was…” Malerie came back onto the stage, her eyes welling up behind her glasses, one hand clutched dramatically to her chest. “That was just beautiful Julia, thank you. Thank you so much for being here.”
“Thank you all for having me,” Julia said into the microphone to the still-sniffling room. “Please give generously tonight and enjoy your evening.”
As she made her way off the stage, Julia caught sight of Cassie’s elated face as she made her way back to their table, giving her an ecstatic thumbs up and Jonathan, trying not to appear as though he were wiping his eyes by blinking deeply and clearing his throat over and over again.
“You were incredible!” Cassie whispered. “Everyone was sobbing.”
“I didn’t mean to make anyone cry, I just -”
“No,” Cassie held up a finger and shook her head. “No excuses. You were great. That is all. I do not want to hear a peep out of you unless it’s on the topic of your own brilliance. Understood?”
Julia laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “Understood.”
“Great. Now apparently,” Cassie said, screwing on her best megawatt smile, “I have a raffle to run.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
AS CASSIE TOOK care of the raffle - which turned out to be more interactive than she’d expected, with awed winners struggling for words and asking for autographs - Julia made her way out onto the terrace, in desperate need of a breath of fresh air. It was huge and empty under the moonlight, everyone else still indoors hoping to win the chance to claim their prize and stand next to a real, live celebrity.
Julia was thankful to be alone. The entire day had been a whirlwind and she felt as if she hadn’t had time to catch her breath. She walked to the balcony, which looked down onto city traffic far, far below - so far she could barely hear it, save for the occasional beep from a car horn. The air was cold and crisp, but she was glad of it after the overheated atmosphere inside - something only amplified by her nerves at being onstage under hot lights. The moon hung huge and luminous in the sky and what stars could be seen amongst the city lights twinkled cheerfully. Julia looked up at them ponderously and tried to clear her mind and force her spinning thoughts to a halt. She had just about succeeded in doing so when a voice cut through the silence behind her.
“Julia.”
With a tiny shriek, she jumped and spun around, her heart going from zero to sixty so fast she felt it might jump out of her chest. Her hand involuntarily flew up to her mouth to stifle the noise.
“You scared me!” She gasped, taking a deep breath.
“I’m sorry,” Daniel said, slipping out of the shadows and into the moonlight. “I didn’t mean to.”
“What are you doing here?” Julia asked, irritably, as she turned back to look down at the street. “You should be inside.”
“I just wanted to say congratulations,” Daniel said, moving to stand beside her, resting his own arms on the balustrade beside her own. “That was a hell of a speech.”
“Thank you,” she said stiffly, clasping her hands together.
“I mean it. You should be proud of yourself.”
Julia whirled on him, all the anger she’d never had a chance to unleash on him suddenly coming to her right when she needed it the least.
“I know I should be proud of myself. I AM proud of myself,” she seethed. “I don’t need your permission.”
“Whoa, okay,” Daniel said, raising both his hands defensively. “I was just trying to -”
“You know what? I don’t care!” Julia said, suddenly realizing it was true and almost laughing in relief. “I really don’t. I don’t care about your regret. I don’t care about your apology. I don’t care why you’re here. I don’t care about you. Anymore. At all. That is so done.”
“C’mon, Jules,” Daniel began.
“No!” Julia held up a finger. “No. Absolutely not. We are not having this conversation now, we are not having it ever. What you did to me was the worst thing anyone has ever done to me. Ever. And that includes when Gretchen Pheiffer stuck a used maxi-pad to my back before my track meet and it fell off halfway through the 100 meter dash and I got stuck with the nickname ‘Red Julia’ for the rest of eighth grade. This is WAY worse than that.”
Daniel looked completely baffled. Clearly this was not going the way he had anticipated it would.
“I forgive you,” Julia said. “Because that is what I need to move on. It has next to nothing to do with you. It’s about me. And so is tonight. It’s about me doing something important in my life. And now I’m going to go back inside and enjoy it without you.”
“Julia - wait.”
“For what?!” She asked, incredulous, turning back towards him with an almost hysterical laugh. “What is the end goal here? Are you hoping we’ll get back together? That you can just go dump - her -”, she gestured wildly to indoors, “and everything’s okay now? Are you insane?”
“Julia…”
Realizing her voice had risen, Julia lowered her tone to a fierce whisper.
“You dumped me after three years with NOTHING. Not a note. Not a phone call. God forbid a nice, adult conversation. And I had to find out about it on INSTAGRAM. My LITTLE BROTHER’S INSTAGRAM. Do you realize how humiliating that is? Can you…” She took a deep breath, the chill night air snapping her back to some semblance of sanity.
She held up a hand. “Doesn’t matter. It’s done. That’s all. And in the end, it was actually a good thing - because if we’d stayed together, if we got married or god forbid had a kid together - I would have ruined my life. So enjoy yours Daniel. May you live long and continue having to put up with the shitty consequences of your shitty actions until the day you die, probably balls deep in someone you’ve paid to pretend they like you.”
“Julia wait,” he cried again as she whirled away, his voice whiny and broken now. “It - It’s an addiction, okay? I’m dealing with a sex addiction and I’m in treatment for it. Okay? I’m in treatment. That’s what Sasha was about. I mean - that’s why she… You know… I wanted a girl who looked like - “
“Ew! God! I don’t care! Stop talking!” Julia shouted, horrified and spinning on her heel to run back inside. “Deal with your shit and get away from me!”
“Julia!” He grabbed her wrist as she whirled away from him, pulling her back against him roughly and mashing his face onto hers in the worst attempt at a kiss she’d ever had. Julia had time to register both disgust and a strange noise before she pulled away with a cry and shoved him hard, sending him staggering back a few steps.
“Get off of me!” She spat. “You’re disgusting!”
As she opened the door, Julia found herself face to face with Sasha, who was staring at her in amusement, that same lazy smile sprawled across her face. Maybe it was the only emotion her Botox allowed, thought Julia wildly.
“I told you to be careful,” she said, flashing her phone in front of Julia’s face, which captured Daniel pulling her tight against him, their mouths pressed tight together. From Sasha’s angle it was impossible to tell that it hadn’t been consensual.
“This is the type of publicity that can be bought,” Sasha said, tucking her phone into her clutch and making her way back towards the ballroom. ”Don’t say I di
dn’t warn you.”
For a moment, in the silence, neither Daniel nor Julia spoke a word. Daniel looked at Julia, horrified, his mouth falling open and closed like a fish, as if he wanted to say something but had no idea what. Without another word, he raced after Sasha, leaving Julia alone on the terrace.
Julia felt her knees wobble and her heart freeze. She wanted to collapse and cry in a little ball, to disappear completely, to have this be a nightmare she could wake up from. Everything she’d worked for, everything she’d wanted to achieve tonight - gone in an instant. How could she have been so stupid?
She wobbled on her feet and heard another voice behind her as if in a dream, turning just in time to see who it was emerging through the ballroom door now.
“Julia?” Yaro, concern written all over his face, was walking up the staircase towards her, fully dressed in a tuxedo, looking for all his life like he hadn’t been out cold just 24 hours prior. He looked incredible - like a dream come true. And suddenly it was more than Julia could take.
Julia sank to the frigid ground and he rushed to her in a few quick steps, gently pulling her up to standing, his eyes boring into hers.
“What happened? What’s wrong?”
“You’re here,” she said, her voice quavering. He smiled a small smile, but the concern on his face remained.
“Yeah. I’m here. Did you really think I’d miss your night?”
Julia felt her heart lurch and she could no longer stand it. She collapsed into his arms, burying her face in his chest and bursting into tears.
---
“Where is she? Tell me where that little snake is!” Cassie roared, her furious voice marking her entrance into Julia’s suite around ten minutes later.