by Iris Gower
‘You are always such a comfort to me. I know Joe had to go home, he’s worried about his mother, but I needed him with me. Instead, I’m looking to you for comfort. Am I being unfair to you?’
He shook his head. ‘Of course not!’
‘Why do you still love me, Eynon?’ she asked in a small voice. ‘Why can’t you find a woman who is single and free?’
‘I can’t love another woman when I love you so much.’ Eynon looked away; if he looked into her eyes she would read too much of his pain.
‘Oh, Eynon!’ Llinos put her arms around him. ‘You are my dearest friend in all the world, the only other man beside Joe I could possibly love.’
She felt his arms warm around her and she closed her eyes. It was so comforting to have a man hold her. If she was another sort of woman she might have given him the comfort of her body and taken comfort from his. But Llinos belonged heart and soul to her husband; she never wanted any man except Joe. The trouble was, he did not seem to want her.
‘I’d better get back home,’ she said, at last releasing herself from Eynon’s embrace. ‘My son will be missing me. Will I see you tomorrow?’
‘I expect so.’ With his arm around her shoulders he accompanied her through the hallway and onto the front step.
‘Don’t worry if you can’t manage it, Eynon,’ Llinos said quickly.
‘Of course I can manage it! I can’t wait to come over to your house and play games with that boy of yours.’ He helped her into the carriage. ‘Lloyd is so like his grandfather, sometimes I think he’s inherited his soul.’
‘Hush!’ Llinos said. ‘You sound like Joe!’
Eynon sighed. ‘Do I?’ he said wistfully. ‘I wish I was half the man your husband is.’
‘You are your own man, that’s all you need to know,’ she said.
As the carriage jerked into motion, she raised her fingers to her lips and blew him a kiss. She was aware of him watching as the carriage rolled down the tree-lined drive towards the road.
She leaned back against the cold leather seat, closing her eyes. She missed Joe so badly it was like toothache. She had cried at their parting, she felt bereft as though he was gone from her for ever and it frightened her.
‘Come home, my darling,’ she whispered but she was answered only by the creaking of the carriage and the rumble of wheels on the cobbles.
The journey from Eynon’s house to her own took only little over half an hour. As the carriage turned into the yard, Llinos saw her son wave excitedly to her from the window of the house.
He leaned out over the sill, waving a letter at her. ‘Daddy’s written us a letter, Mamma,’ he said. ‘Hurry up, come and read it.’
In the drawing room, Lloyd had seated himself beside Charlotte on the large sofa, his legs, thin and gangly, hung over the edge and Llinos’s heart contracted with love for him.
Charlotte smiled a welcome. ‘Come and sit for goodness’ sake and let’s open the letter from my brother.’ She ruffled Lloyd’s hair. ‘Put both of us out of our misery.’
Llinos tore the letter open with trembling fingers. ‘It’s bad news,’ she said at last. ‘Joe’s mother has passed away.’ She looked at her son, ‘Your grandmother.’ He had never met his grandmother, he would never know the sweetness of the woman, her age-old wisdom, her beauty.
‘But Charlotte is my grandmother,’ he said, puzzled.
‘I know, darling, but you had another grandmother, her name was Mint, she lived in Daddy’s land, in America.’
‘Oh.’ Lloyd looked crestfallen for a moment and then, childlike, he shrugged away the sadness in his mother’s voice. ‘When is Daddy coming home?’
Llinos looked down at the letter. ‘He will be back with us before Christmas,’ she said. She should feel happy and yet her heart was heavy: Joe had to cross the great Atlantic sea that separated them; it was a hazardous journey at the best of times and now, with winter coming on, it would be even worse.
‘Never mind, Mamma.’ Lloyd had the same knack as his father of reading her thoughts. ‘Daddy has the Great Spirit to keep him safe.’ He slipped from the sofa and nestled his head against her knees. ‘He’ll be home before the snow comes, you’ll see.’
Over his head, Llinos met Charlotte’s eyes. ‘He’s like his father,’ Charlotte said, ‘he’s a seer. If he says Joe will come home safely, then he will.’
‘Of course he will,’ Llinos replied and yet she knew she would not rest until Joe was safely in her arms again.
Binnie Dundee looked around the table in the sun-washed dining room and marvelled at his family of sons who were growing rapidly. The boys had strong limbs and glowing faces browned with the warmth of the American sun. He was a contented man.
He congratulated himself on shaking the dust of Swansea off his feet all those years ago and settling in America with a wonderful wife. Sometimes it troubled him that he and Hortense were not legally married, that he still had a wife back home. He had never kept in touch with Maura; once he made his decision to leave her he put her out of his mind. All he could do was to pray his secret was never discovered or Dan McCabe would have him hung, drawn and quartered for tricking his daughter into a sham marriage.
The boys were whispering together, no doubt planning some mischief. Binnie watched them fondly. No wonder Dan, Jerry and Matthew were the apple of their granddad’s eye. If Dad McCabe favoured the child named for him it was only because Dan was the first-born and the image of him.
Binnie sighed, a contented sigh. West Troy was a fine place to live and Binnie was glad that he was not back in Swansea where the weather would be turning cold and rain beat incessantly against the window-panes.
‘A penny for them.’ His wife smiled across at him and Binnie felt a tug at his heart. He loved Hortense as much as he had done when they were first married. She would be so hurt if she knew the truth about him. He pulled himself up sharply. Why think about the past now? It was over and done with.
‘I was remembering how dull the weather was back home,’ he said. Hortense smiled and reached over to touch his hand.
‘But this is your home now, Binnie my love.’
‘I know.’ He returned her smile. ‘I know. I was just telling myself how lucky I am to be with the woman I love and to have three fine sons. I would give my life for you, my love, you know that.’
The sound of a carriage stopping outside the porch galvanized the boys into action. ‘Grandma’s here!’ Dan said. ‘See you later, Mom.’
Binnie stood in the doorway as Hortense followed her sons to where Mrs McCabe was waiting for them. He waved to his mother-in-law and she acknowledged him with a nod of her head.
When Hortense came back into the house she took Binnie’s hand. ‘Mom’s angry, seems Daddy’s off with one of the girls again.’ She looked up at her husband. ‘Thank the good Lord you are not like Daddy, spending your energy on other women.’
She was referring to Dan McCabe’s habit of visiting his own houseful of girls; nubile dark-skinned girls whom he kept in style on McCabe land. The girls remained in the house for only a few years and then Dan would pension them off, giving each one enough money to make them rich beyond their wildest dreams.
‘Even now he’s past fifty, my father still acts like an old goat.’ Hortense was disapproving and Binnie laughed out loud.
‘Come on, now, Hortense, be sensible,’ he said. ‘Dan is a vigorous man and your mammy, she doesn’t like – well, you know what I mean.’
‘I know.’ Hortense was suddenly flushed. ‘And I am a different kettle of fish to Mammy, so why don’t we take advantage of the fact that the boys are visiting with their grandmother and we have the afternoon free?’
‘I thought John and Josephine were supposed to be coming for tea.’
‘So? We have time enough, honey, come on.’ She tugged at his hand, leading him towards the bedroom.
Quickly, she stripped off her clothes and stood before him naked. Her waist had thickened a little since the birth of their last child but her br
easts were full and her hips rounded and she was everything he would ever want in a woman.
It was wonderful to make love to his wife with the sun warming his back and splashing her face with light. She was a passionate responsive woman and he loved her so much that every time he made love to her was as good as the first time.
Afterwards, when they lay together in the large bed, naked as innocent babies, he reached for her hand. ‘Never stop loving me, will you, Hortense?’
‘Honey, while I’ve got breath in my body, I will love you, you can depend on that. As sure as the sun rises in the morning, I am yours until I die.’
Once showered and changed into a sparkling fresh shirt, Binnie prepared chilled cordial for the expected guests. Then he sat outside, rocking in the swing on the porch. The sun was high, the shadows of the trees deep and black. It was a good life, a better life than he had ever dared hope for.
He closed his eyes; perhaps there was time for a nap before John and Josephine arrived. They were a good couple and even though John, a Cornishman, had married one of the McCabe girls more from expediency than love, they had certainly made a go of it. John had worked hard and now, like Binnie, was a partner in the McCabe family potting business.
Binnie was drowsing, half-asleep when he heard the rumble of wagon wheels. He opened his eyes reluctantly and saw Jo waving at him, her bonnet hanging over her back, her hair ruffled by the breeze. She was a beautiful woman and had grown more beautiful since her marriage to John but she did not come anywhere near Hortense when it came to looks and sensuality.
‘Our guests are here, Hortense!’ he called. ‘Get the maid to bring the drinks on to the porch, will you, honey?’
Josephine sat beside him on the swing, her skirts flowing from her slim waist. The couple had no children, even though they had been married for more than two years. But that did not seem to bother either of them. Perhaps it was the sort of life they had chosen for themselves, travelling about the country, seeking out the best potters as well as possible sites for new pottery buildings.
‘How was the trip up country?’ Binnie asked and John, who had settled himself in the rocking chair, looked up at him.
‘I saw Joe, you know, the Indian fellow.’
Binnie felt his gut shrink. Joe, the husband Llinos had chosen for herself, knew of Binnie’s past. He was aware that back on British shores Binnie had a wife, had once had a child. Had he spoken of it to John?
‘Not much of a one for small talk, is he?’ John’s words were reassuring. Josephine leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees tomboy fashion.
‘The poor man had just lost his mammy, John, show a little charity, won’t you, honey?’
‘Didn’t trust the man,’ John said. ‘Too tight-lipped for my liking and a half-breed to boot. What business has he got marrying into a respectable white family?’
‘Isn’t that rather a biased view, John?’ Binnie said edgily. ‘Joe has always been good to Llinos and to her father. He nursed the captain as though the old man was his own father.’
‘Aye and the gossip had it that he killed the captain to get his money, have you forgotten that, Binnie?’ John was out of sorts, determined to be argumentative and Binnie, not caring to get involved, turned to Josephine.
‘Glad to be home?’
‘Well, sure, it’s good to see Mammy and Daddy again but I don’t think I could settle down here for the rest of my life the way you and Hortense have.’
‘It’s about time we thought of settling down, Josephine.’ John’s tone was sharp. ‘After all, the time is slipping by. We should have a brood of kids round us by now.’
Ah so that was the rub, John wanted one way of life and Josephine another. Binnie suspected that John’s wish to have children was born more from a wish to consolidate his position in the McCabe family than because he loved kids. He scarcely bothered with Binnie’s sons, not even talking to them like human beings. But perhaps he was doing him an injustice; men like John who came from a privileged background felt that an heir was important.
Hortense came out onto the porch and hugged her sister. ‘You’re looking well.’ She patted Josephine’s stomach. ‘Got a wee ’un in there yet?’
‘No, sis, not yet.’ Josephine looked away. ‘Not for a while yet, if I have my way.’ She lifted her arms above her head. ‘I want to live a little, can’t folks understand that?’
‘I don’t believe you!’ Hortense pushed her sister playfully. ‘I think John here is shirking his duty.’
‘It’s not me that’s shirking my duty.’ John was truculent. ‘Tell my wife that it’s a woman’s place to provide her husband with a son.’ He looked away across the dry grass beyond the house.
‘And it’s a husband’s place to stay faithful to the woman he’s supposed to love,’ Josephine said. She moved away from the little group and stood at the rail of the veranda. ‘If he stopped scattering his seed any place he could find a willing woman perhaps I would think about having children.’
The dark-skinned maid stepped out of the house, a tray of cordial in her strong hands. She placed the tray on the table and looked at Binnie.
‘You need anything else, sir?’
‘No, Justine, that’s fine, thank you.’ Binnie held out a drink to John before realizing that he was staring at the retreating back of the maid.
Justine was a beautiful young girl, her skin glowing with health, her dark eyes filled with laughter. She was good with the boys and unobtrusive around the house but Binnie had never looked at her in the way John was doing.
‘You’re too late,’ he whispered in John’s ear. ‘Dan has already got his eye on her for that harem of his.’
‘So what?’ John said quietly. ‘These girls are not above a bit of variety, especially when it’s with a young, vigorous man.’
Binnie turned away. John sometimes disgusted him with his easy ways. At first, he had believed John to be a gentleman. The way he spoke was cultured, his table manners were impeccable but sometimes, as now, Binnie did not like him very much.
Hortense missed nothing of the exchange. She was angry but Binnie knew her well enough to understand her silence. Hortense would never hurt her sister by lashing John with her tongue in public.
Josephine was no fool either; she looked at her husband knowingly. ‘Fancying that little girl now, are you, John?’ She spoke casually, as though nothing about her husband surprised her any longer.
‘A man can look, Jo.’ John sounded like a small boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. ‘Looking can’t do any harm.’
‘Putting your dirty thoughts into action can though, can’t it?’ Josephine sat beside her sister and changed the subject abruptly.
‘Your boys are growing like sticks. When I saw them over at Mammy’s they were like young gentlemen, so polite and considerate.’ She touched her sister’s arm. ‘You must be so happy, Hortense, so pleased with all you’ve got. Don’t ever let anything or anyone spoil it, you understand?’
Hortense looked puzzled. ‘I sure won’t, honey, but why should anything spoil what me and Binnie have here?’
‘I’m just saying.’ Josephine looked up at Binnie and he had the distinct impression she knew more about him than was comfortable. The women fell into desultory chatter about household affairs and John nodded to Binnie.
‘Come down to the bar for a drink, I want to talk man-talk to you.’ He looked at his wife. ‘All this small talk is so boring.’
Binnie had no wish to go with John but Hortense looked at him meaningfully. ‘You go, hon, get away from the house for a while.’ He knew she wanted to talk to her sister alone about the way John was treating her.
He sighed and picked up his hat. ‘Right, let’s just walk down to Maggie’s place, it’s not far.’ The last thing he felt like was indulging John. In any case, he would rather drink in the comfort of his own home than put up with the other man’s bad mood. Still, it would be a kindness to get him away from the women at least for a time.
&n
bsp; ‘I’ve had enough of married life,’ John said when they were out of earshot of the women. Binnie looked at him.
‘I think I got that message loud and clear, so did the womenfolk.’ He spoke in a level tone but anger was beginning to burn in his gut. ‘Do you think you’re wise showing it so openly? After all, your job, your home, your comfortable existence all rest on keeping Dan’s girl happy.’
‘Is that what you think about your marriage?’ John asked. ‘You pretend to care for Hortense because her father provides so well for you?’
‘Hey, now don’t go pushing me too far!’ Binnie said. ‘I love my wife and I work hard for her and my kids. Dan gave me a job and I earn every penny I get.’
‘And I don’t?’ John said tersely.
‘I’m not saying that.’ Binnie told himself to calm down, there was no point in spoiling his day arguing with John when he was in such a foul mood. ‘I’m saying be careful, that’s all.’
‘Like you are?’ Something in the way John said the words made Binnie pause in his stride.
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘Come off it! I know you are living a lie. You’re not married to Hortense at all, you are married to some Irish woman back home.’
Binnie’s mouth was suddenly dry. ‘Rubbish! Who told you that?’ Binnie’s mind was spinning. John had met up with Joe but the man was not the kind to indulge in malicious gossip.
‘No, it wasn’t Joe.’ John had guessed his thoughts. ‘It was one of the servants he had with him. The man knew you, knew, what’s her name? Ah yes, Maura, that’s it. I might have heard something about the marriage when I was back in Swansea but I never caught on about you until now.’
‘Why would this man tell you anything about me?’ Binnie asked.
John smiled. ‘For a few dollars some people will do anything. Anyway, don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes, Binnie, it’s too late for that. I knew all along you were hiding something about your past and at last I’ve put two and two together.’ He smiled but there was no humour in his face. ‘Don’t worry, old man, I won’t say anything to spoil the luxury of your life out here though I might want you to cover up for me once in a while.’