I sat frozen for a moment. Could I, would I, ever hurt them impulsively? Especially Mel or Mike, I would rather die. Wait. I was going to change. They would definitely notice if I lost a bunch of weight overnight. But I wasn’t allowed to tell them, to reveal this inner part of me.
“How do I explain the change to my friends?” I was praying for a good response.
“Your father and I have discussed this and feel it would be best to take you out of school for the remainder of the year. I can home-school you or we can send you to a boarding school if you wish.”
“You have to be joking! A year?! And boarding school?! I’d rather stay out a week and say I had extensive plastic surgery, liposuction or whatever it’s called!” I exclaimed. Something triggered within me. To have everything I’d known for all my life changed overnight and to then rip me away from the final bit of stability I had was too much.
“Calm down sweetie. We won’t enforce anything longer than two weeks, but that is the minimum,” she stated firmly looking at my father for reassurance. “After all, you are the one who has to face them and answer their questions. Just remember that you’re not able to share your secret with them, regardless of the circumstances.”
“I’ll help you Lexi,” Kellan promised with a light squeeze of my palm.
It was hitting me all at once, just collapsing down on me. After Thursday, or Friday technically, at midnight my life would never be the same. I would never look the same. I felt like… like I couldn’t breathe, like the walls of life were closing in on me. I felt like my heart was going to escape my chest. I felt…
~~~
“Lexi! Lexi!” I heard Kellan gasping anxiously.
“Lexi, sweetie, can you hear me?” my mother’s voice sung through the crowd calmly.
“Lexi, it’s Dad, can you hear us?” he attempted to state, but stuttered in fear.
I blinked quickly a few times trying to refocus my vision. I saw the three of them standing over me.
“Are you ok, Lex?” my dad pressed, still frightened and dismayed. Worry lines crowded his forehead as he stared down at me.
“I… I.. think so,” I whispered softly. “What happened?”
“You fainted sweetie, nearly gave your dad a heart attack.”
“Oh. Sorry,” I mumbled. I tried to sit up but fell back when my head whirled with dizziness. It suddenly weighed a thousand pounds as a massive headache set in.
“Just stay here sweetie. Don’t move for a bit,” my mother advised. She was always the level-headed one in the middle of a crisis. She never lost her cool or became discombobulated as most people did in a panic.
“I really just want to go lay down in bed,” I insisted. I was more affected by the situation than I realized. It was overwhelming, but I assumed I could handle it. I handled Kellan’s news without a problem. I should have known that when it’s personal, it’s much more difficult to swallow.
“I can carry her up,” Kellan offered, looking at my parents for permission.
“Are you serious?!” I croaked in the loudest whisper I could produce. “I’ll break you!”
He laughed looking at me still sprawled on the couch. “Strong enough to incapacitate a lion, remember? You’ll be like lifting air.”
My parents exchanged glances before agreeing. Kellan bent down slightly and lifted me without hesitation. I wrapped my arms around his neck just to be sure I didn’t fall abruptly. He laughed again staring at my frightened expression. Somehow I always amused him.
“Do you want to be more frightened?” A satanic grin spread across his face.
“I don’t think that’s possible right now.”
“Yes it is.” He suddenly tripled his speed. I felt a gust of wind slap the side of my face; but it was gone as quickly as it came. I was in my bed already. My eyes bugged out in shock and Kellan was smirking in cockiness clearly pleased with his rash decision.
“Headache, remember?” I grumbled pointing at my head.
He let out a quick chuckle. “Sorry, didn’t know if I would ever get the chance to do that again. It won’t be the same after Friday,” he frowned.
“Yea,” I whispered. “I’m going to be really different aren’t I?”
Kellan smiled one of his melting expressions but didn’t answer my worry. “I should probably get going.”
“I know this is going to sound strange, but do you think you can stay? You know, just for a little bit.” I stumbled, hoping he would oblige. I was already embarrassed by my blackout downstairs and knowing he could deny me here was a major risk. It paid off though.
“Umm, sure,” he said as he hopped into the bed next to me.
Truth is, I really didn’t want to be alone and Kellan, though he was dominantly a dark loner, was oddly comforting to have around given everything I was trying to process. Plus he had opened up to me in a way obscure to my classmates and friends which exposed his shared comfort around me. And for me, seeing him let me know that everything would be fine; he was proof of that.
“Will you do me a favor?” I asked sheepishly.
“Aren’t I doing you one already?”
“Umm.. well, will you tell me about your transformation?”
He sighed quietly. At first I didn’t think he was going to tell me and I was prepared to let it go, but then he began to speak.
“Well, since I’m twenty-five percent human, I had the same sixteen years to marinate like you. My parents told me two weeks before my birthday. I didn’t believe them at first since they put on such a convincing human charade. My dad actually took me on a hunting trip to prove my heritage. I was shocked. The way he pounced the guy…” he shivered in reflection of the human memory. “Well, needless to say I believed them at that point. It made it easier that my best friend, Craig, had gone through the change a week earlier. He’s like you though and is more human.” He paused and looked down at his feet appearing caught up in the design details of his shoes. It took me a minute before I realized he was trying to control an emotional reaction.
“Do you miss him?” I asked softly. I’d never seen Kellan so sensitive.
“It’s just different without him. We were the guy version of you and Mel.”
“I’m sorry,” was all I knew to say, yet it wasn’t nearly enough.
“Back to the story,” he prompted himself. “So my family flew back to Spain for our ‘Family Reunion’.” He lifted his fingers to create quotation marks as he spoke. “I left Seattle human and returned a vampire.”
“What did you look like as a human?”
He reached in his back pocket and retrieved his wallet. Tucked deep inside the back slot, he pulled out a warn photo and handed it to me. He looked almost exactly the same only a bit more rough despite his baby face. He had only minor enhancements to him now, nothing a round of plastic surgery, skin treatments and general aging couldn’t have done for a human.
“Wow. You look so different,” I smirked.
“You’re such a horrible liar,” he laughed.
“Yea,” I smiled. “How old were you here?”
“Thirteen.”
“Adorable.”
“And now?” he prompted.
“Now you look… handsome,” I replied before handing him back the picture.
“You’re going to be just as beautiful you know,” he stated.
Copying him, I asked, “But now?”
“You’re beautiful in your human form now, and will be stunning after. Don’t sweat it.”
“Did it hurt? Did you feel different or strange?” I was unsure if I was really ready for an adverse response.
“You sleep through everything. It’s like when you have surgery, the anesthesia makes you sleep deep enough to ignore the pain,” he explained. “After, when you wake up, it is shocking at first. Everything is intensified. You hear every pin drop and smell every daisy three yards down, but you adjust after a few days. You’ll feel weird. It’s almost like an out-of-body experience in the beginning. You’ll have to get t
o know your new figure and lifestyle. You’ll have to buy a new wardrobe. Once you become acquainted with everything though, it’s great. You’ll be fine Lexi. I promise.” I enjoyed seeing this softer side of Kellan. He was vulnerable, contemplative and passionate. For once, we were on the same level of exposure. We shared an intimacy in the experience without touching physically.
“I know. I’m over thinking it all. It’s just overwhelming,” I admitted shyly.
“You should get some sleep. It’s been a long day for you.”
“Thanks… for everything. I would probably be a total nut case right now if it weren’t for you,” I said, pulling the covers up higher as I rolled on my left side towards him.
“You already are,” he laughed. “At least you’re a likable crazy person though.”
“I’m choosing to ignore that jab since you’ve been so great for the majority of this evening.”
“Go to sleep Lexi. I’ll see you in the morning,” he said.
He turned sideways to face me as I had him. He reached out, but pulled back hesitantly. I could tell he wasn’t used to this sort of closeness. He stretched out his hand again; this time he didn’t waver as he caressed my face from head to chin. His skin was just as smooth as earlier with the same cool temperature. Despite the rest of my body being cold under the thick comforter, I enjoyed his touch and didn’t want him to stop.
So much was racing through my mind. I still couldn’t believe it. Kellan was a vampire, I was going to be a vampeen, my mom was a vampeen, and I had three full days remaining as a human. How do you live your last days to the fullest when no one can know what is coming? It was a little tricky. On the up side, Kellan wasn’t so dark and reserved. I felt special, like he’d torn down a few defenses to let me in.
And Mel… What was I going to tell her? What could I tell her? I didn’t want to lie to her, but I also didn’t want to lose my best friend.
Then there was Mike. He was the first and only guy to like me the way I was – fat. He had embraced my every curve and made me feel special unlike anyone else. How could I turn on him? How could I abandon him without feeling a gut-wrenching guilt for the rest of my life? Honestly, I couldn’t. I still liked him and cared about him. I couldn’t hurt him like that.
And finally there was Kellan. He’s so easy to talk to, especially now that he’s the sole student at my school who knew and understood what I was about to endure. I didn’t have to hide anything from him, but he was definitely not like Mike. Mike loved me the way I was now, but I worried that Kellan only liked me for who I would be, how I would look after Friday. I couldn’t let go of Kellan now though. The bond had been formed, my desires were plain and vivid despite the lonely question mark I carried with him.
No. I couldn’t let go of my best friend, of either guy I admired, or my life as I’d known it. Despite the rumors that would swirl, for their sake, I had to return quickly to what I had established. I would stay out of school for two weeks before returning with a boom. Perhaps I would even let Mel plan a party for me and concoct a big reveal there. At least then she could have her fun and no one would assume I was a new student in the halls. After all, if I turned out as gorgeous as everyone claimed, I wouldn’t mind flaunting a bit.
How different would I be though? Listen to me. I hadn’t even transformed and I already sounded like a selfish, snobbish cheerleader. If I maintained this reprisal attitude, I would be a bratty monster. I couldn’t let model looks change me internally. I didn’t want to be Jenny Struthers’s evil side kick. I didn’t want other girls to feel intimidated or self-conscious around me. I didn’t want anyone to endure what I did because of me.
~~~
I woke up in the morning to my alarm sounding. I slapped the snooze button and stretched. I opened my eyes and scanned the room. Kellan was gone. I didn’t know what I expected, but my mood sunk a bit knowing he left me. I guess I was hoping for another Edward moment.
I heard a tap at my door. “Come in,” I said stifling a yawn.
“Morning sweetie, how are you feeling?” my mother asked sliding gracefully onto the edge of my bed.
“Umm, ok so far.”
“That’s good. You do have some worried visitors downstairs though.”
“Visitors? As in more than one?” The last thing anyone wants is visitors when your alarm sounds first thing in the morning.
“Yes. Mike and Mel are worried about you. Mel said you didn’t call last night nor did you answer her calls. I didn’t tell them anything; I will leave that to you.” She kissed my forehead and returned downstairs to give me time.
“Ugh.” I decided not to prolong my crucifixion. I took a two minute shower, tossed my hair up, brushed my teeth and threw on the first outfit I found. I strolled downstairs remembering I’d left my cell in my bag by the door.
As soon as I entered the family room, I knew I was right to rush. Mike appeared ready to have a heart attack at any moment and Mel looked pissed off giving me her ‘you’re in deep shit – start talking’ glare.
“Umm, morning guys,” I smiled with a half wave motion.
“I’ll give you some space,” my mother offered exiting the room.
“You better start talking fast Lex,” Mel warned.
“Sorry. Kellan and I left school and went to the beach. We were walking and talking. We lost track of time. It was night before we left. He brought me home; I talked to my parents for a bit. I was so exhausted from walking all night that I just crashed and forgot to call you guys. Sorry,” I gushed trying to stick with the truth.
“If you went to bed, then why was Kellan just leaving when we got here?” Mike asked. I could hear the pain in his voice despite his accusing tone. I knew what he was thinking and I had to make it right.
“Listen. Nothing happened with me and Kellan. We didn’t even hug. He’s an old family friend. He and my mom like to reminisce about Spain since they were there together this summer, his family and my parents.” Ok, so I was going to have to exaggerate a bit to defuse the situation. “I did go to sleep last night though and nothing happened between me and Kellan,” I calmly explained.
My efforts worked. Mike cheered up and Mel loosened her expression.
“So what were you two talking about all that time on the beach?” Mel probed with new enthusiasm.
“About life. He told me about living in Seattle; I asked him a lot of questions.” I was still attempting to remain truthful, as much as deemed possible anyways. What Mike said before was at the front of my mind though. Had Kellan really stayed the night with me? Did he lay in bed with me the whole night? I quickly pushed the thought away. He’s not into me like that. Why am I allowing myself to go there?
“I’m going to trust you this time,” Mike stated. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or irritated. This only went to show that we both carried trust issues.
“I’m really sorry,” I said.
Mike crossed the distance between us and pulled me to him for a kiss. After the intimacy I’d shared with Kellan last night though, I didn’t feel right being in Mike’s arms.
Mel interrupted the moment. “Ugh! Can we skip the Dawson’s Creek and be on our way before we’re late?!” Mike gave Mel an intense angry look. Mel just scoffed sarcastically and stated, “Oh get over it Mike! There will be other times for you to smother your girlfriend. Hopefully you will choose times when I’m not around though.”
“I’ll see if my mom will drive us,” I interjected hoping to distract them. I walked away from Mike’s embrace to gather my stuff.
“Lexi. You. Me. Dinner, tonight. No boys allowed,” she ordered sticking her tongue out at Mike with the end jab.
“Sounds good,” I confirmed. I pulled my cell out of my bag and flipped it open. “Thirty-eight missed calls! What the hell were you two doing… speed dialing me all night?!”
Mel shrugged while Mike tensed up again, glaring up the stairs at my room.
“Well?”
“Oh give it a rest Lex. You really don’t w
ant to get me started on this again.”
“Yea, yea.”
Chapter 9
My mother drove us to school. Mike walked me to every class, obviously still upset over last night while Mel had me retell the entire conversation on the beach with Kellan; this was extremely difficult considering I couldn’t mention anything related to our secret heritage. At least she got it out of her system early, which meant dinner would be drill free.
I was disappointed when I got to Spanish and Kellan wasn’t there, however he was in his desk in English. The moment I sat down a note was on my desk.
Hey
Hi
How are you today?
I’m ok. Haven’t gone into shock yet if that’s what you mean. You?
Not really, but good to know. I’m good. I had fun yesterday.
You mean yesterday and this morning? Mel and Mike said they saw you leaving. What did you do all night? My dad didn’t say anything to you?
After you fell asleep I talked with your parents for a while. Your dad went to bed and your mom and I talked about stuff. Around three you sounded like you were having a nightmare so I stayed in your room until your dad left for work.
Oh…. why did you stay?
We gave you a lot to think about last night. I wanted to make sure you were ok.
Wow… thanks
So dinner with Mel tonight?
Yea. How do you know about these things?
I overheard her talking earlier.
Oh. Yea. I don’t know where we’re going yet. It’s no boys allowed…
Have fun.
I will thanks.
The remainder of English flew by. My mom had agreed to pick me and Mel up after school so we could go to dinner.
“So where do you want to eat?” I asked as we climbed into my mother’s heated leather back seats.
“I was thinking Mexican. I could do some chips and salsa with a virgin margarita.”
“Chicken enchiladas here we come.”
My mother decided to meet my dad for dinner at Outback Steakhouse after dropping us off down the road at Tejano Restaurante. Living in Spain helped me communicate at the restaurant perfectly.
Diary of a Vampeen Page 10