Diary of a Vampeen

by Christin Lovell

  “So what will happen to me? I realize now that you and mom are not simply aging gracefully…” I pressed, still frazzled mentally.

  “Twenty-five. The vampire cells go from fifty-one percent at sixteen to seventy-six percent at twenty-five, which stops the aging process of your integumentary system for your skin but doesn’t affect your hair and nails,” she answered directly.

  “So if I choose a human, as you have Dad, I will outlive him. I will inevitably choose to love and lose knowing fate?”

  I saw the sadness in her eyes before she even replied. “Yes.”

  “Unless,” Kellan spoke for the first time in a while, “You have him changed. There are vampires willing to change a human for a fee.”

  My mother’s eyes filled with fury in conjunction with Kellan’s remark. For once, their green hue seemed hazy; the outer ring of her irises began to flicker a red-orange. She darkly scowled, “That is never an option if you truly love. You would never curse the one who brightens your world.”

  “I was just informing Lexi of her options.”

  “Again, that isn’t an option,” she reinforced.

  So this was my fate. This was my world as of Thursday at midnight. I knew in watching True Blood and reading books such as Dracula, The Vampire Diaries, Interview with a Vampire and Twilight that the lives and world of vampires was complex and took self-control to survive in; even fiction captures this essence accurately, though this seemed three times more difficult to maintain. I literally would be entwined in three worlds with enemies lurking around every corner – the human, vampeen and vampire world. They each had separate rules, restrictions and dangers. Suddenly I would rather be a fat, lonely teenager…

  Chapter 11

  Once my mom cooled down, I opted to return to bed. I had heard all I could take for a lifetime, let alone one night. Even worse… my best friend was lying beside me sleeping and as much as I wanted to wake her up for advice and some much needed comfort, I couldn’t. This part of me must forever remain a secret to her.

  Here I lied in the middle of the night tossing and turning in my bed; I felt like my life was just one big charade. Everything I’d known until now about my parents, my family, my lifestyle… it’s all one huge façade in numerous ways. Not one piece of my life was solid; not one person a permanent fixture anymore.

  Finding out that Gran was killed was heart wrenching. I remembered the sweet angelic voice on the other end of the phone every weekend reminding me to avoid burnt popcorn if I wanted my hair to stay straight. She believed the funniest wives tales. I missed her terribly. I was at peace before thinking she passed in her sleep, but with this new revelation being revealed to me, I felt her soul ablaze. She must have been disturbed. How could any soul peacefully retire when it was abruptly forced to leave its physical refuge in violence?

  “Ugh,” I sighed aloud, “I will never get back to sleep after all this.”

  “Then you won’t mind a visitor?” I heard a familiar voice inquire.

  I sat up and turned my attention to my bedroom door. It was slightly ajar and standing just beyond its frame was a tall male figure I recognized as Kellan. “Umm, no… Come in,” I mumbled.

  “So… Interesting night, huh?”

  “To say the least. I don’t know if I will ever be able to wrap my mind around all of this,” I stated still soaking in the events of an hour ago. I fiddled with my nails atop my thick comforter. Thank God Mel was a sound sleeper. I don’t know how we could have explained tonight to her.

  “You will in time. I know how you feel. It’s overwhelming, but you have good people supporting you like I did. Just try not to overanalyze every detail. I know you are and that’s only making it worse for you,” he said while walking closer towards me.

  “Huh,” I chuckled softly. “Yea, you’re probably right. I can’t help it though. It’s just how I am.”

  “Hey. I know this is going to sound crazy, but you want to go for a walk outside for a bit? It sometimes helps me organize my thoughts,” he offered seeming a bit anxious.

  “Right now?” I crinkled my forehead in disbelief.

  “Yea.”

  “But it’s night out… And it’s cold,” I stumbled to chuck up some sort of excuse.

  “You can bundle up. And you can’t tell me you’ve never walked around at night before. You might as well get up before I make you,” he warned.

  “Ugh, fine,” I groaned. I looked up at his gorgeous face. Unable to make out all of his features, I stared at the one prominent part of him that captured me, his breathtaking smile and one dimple inset appealingly. He was beaming in radiance before me, his teeth pearly white were slightly iridescent. Though he didn’t confess, I knew he enjoyed spending time with me just as much as I did him. Whatever this bond was between us, it stretched beyond our basic comprehension. And I would have liked to rely on Mel to stay asleep since she’d slept through hurricanes and tornados, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

  I slid down off my bed and into my flip flops. Luckily I was wearing toe-socks already so I didn’t have to dig for them. I threw on my red aeropostale hoodie and retrieved my cell phone as I walked towards the door. Kellan stood guard the entire time watching me as if I was planning a secret escape. “You can relax. I’m not going to cop out on you,” I said slightly teasing his demeanor.

  “Sorry,” he shrugged.

  By the time we reached the bottom of the stairs, my mother and aunt were standing there expectantly. “Just where do you think you’re going at this time of night Lexi?” my mother demanded.

  As much as I would have liked to oblige her earlier unspoken request to stay safe, Kellan wanted to go for a walk, and frankly, I could use a little fresh air. “For a walk with Kellan. We won’t go far and we won’t be long. I promise.”

  “I’ll keep her safe Mrs. Jackson,” Kellan firmly stated.

  My mother and aunt exchanged worried glances amongst all four of us before agreeing. The terms: we had to be back in twenty minutes or they were coming after us.

  Kellan opened the door for me. A gust of wind beat against me as I stepped outside. “Why did I agree to this again?” I whined sarcastically.

  “Because you like me,” he smugly replied.

  “Ugh. Don’t remind me.” I hated the fact that Kellan knew where I stood with him. He knew he’s attractive and charming in his dark mysterious way. He’s cocky and shy at once. It drove me insane, but I still loved it on him.

  “I’m really not that bad. It could be worse. You could like Jason.”

  “Gross! That’s a never! Point made.”

  He chuckled nervously. “I did want to walk with you for a reason though, but not here.”

  “Where then? We only have twenty minutes,” I reminded him. Without notice I was scooped into to his arms and traveling at what felt like the speed of light. “Where the heck are you taking me Kellan?!” I demanded as the wind slapped the left side of my face. He just laughed and continued to run down my street un-phased by my sudden panic.

  “Close your eyes.” I hesitantly obliged by curling into him. I placed my face into his chiseled chest right as the wind tripled in force. I felt like I was dropped into a wind tunnel.

  Moments later he slowed to a jog and I turned to observe my surroundings. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust. It didn’t matter though; I didn’t recognize the area. “Where are we?” I looked around at the meadow of grass before me.

  “The thirteenth hole,” he replied setting me down.

  “Nice, but why here? It’s not like you have any more big secrets left to reveal to me.”

  “Or do I?” he said with a Dr. Evil tone.

  “Shut up!” I laughed smacking his arm, as if he would actually feel it. He led me towards a small hill set amongst the surprisingly flat tourane. I followed his lead in sitting on the cold ground; I always defaulted to an Indian style position. “So what do you want to talk about?” I folded into my jacket a bit more trying to survive the breeze.

>   “Why do you like me?” he returned seeming a bit distracted by his thoughts.

  “What?” Was he really asking me this? Was he seriously putting me on the spot like this?! I was embarrassed enough that he knew undeniably about my crush, but he was extending it to a detailed level with bribing specifics to be exposed.

  “Why do you like me?” he repeated.

  “I can’t believe you’re asking me this…”

  “Please just tell me the truth Lexi. I need to know why.”

  Despite the temperature of the earth below me, I laid back and heaved a loud sigh. I really didn’t want to answer the question, but then again, he already knew I liked him. Why did it matter if he knew specifically why? I knew I was going to cave eventually; Kellan was not the type of person to admit defeat. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before spilling my guts to him.

  “I like you because your smile lights up the room I’m in, because you’re funny and approachable yet dark and mysterious. You’re friendly and share your stories with me, but keep me wanting more with your games sometimes so I know I would never be bored with you. You are the first guy to walk in and figure me out in a minute and while I never prided myself on enjoying men as a challenge, you are the first to make me rethink that effort. Aside from the fact that you are the only student in my school that shares my heritage, you are also the only guy I have met that invigorates my senses. Something about you ignites my mind, drives me mentally, emotionally and physically in a way I’ve never experienced. At first I thought this was just a little crush, but over time I’ve come to realize that I like you for far more than what meets the eye. You’ve awakened the dead within me simply by your presence and a blooming friendship. And while it’s true, I want more, I would never jeopardize what you’ve given me at this level for a delusional dream I have for something beyond that.”

  I laid perfectly still inhaling a few more breaths before opening my eyes. I didn’t know what to expect. I just poured my heart out, admitted all my secret desires in a matter of sixty seconds to a guy I knew didn’t feel the same in return. I stared up at the stars waiting for some sort of response. Laughter, a jab at me, something… anything, but alas I heard nothing. I dreaded eye contact after all I’d splurged, but Kellan wasn’t giving me a choice. I didn’t want to speak again, plus my foot was too far lodged in my mouth for anything to come out clearly at this point.

  I slowly turned my head towards him. His eyes were intently staring at me, his brows furrowed almost in anger. “I’m… I’m sorry. Did I cross the line? I was just telling you the truth. I thought you would appreciate that,” I attempted to explain.

  Nothing. Neither one word nor one move in response. He remained dormant with the same intense expression in my direction. Feeling more and more awkward by the minute, I finally gave up. I stood to my feet and began walking. I was clueless with navigating my route, but eventually my mom or aunt would find me. Why was he acting like this anyways? He was the one who asked. He pushed for my answer. I should have lied. I should have said or done anything but what I did.

  I walked no more than ten feet before I felt a pull on my left arm. Great! What did he want now? Did he think of another way to humiliate me in a matter of thirty seconds? Frustrated and embarrassed, I lashed out as I turned back towards him. “What do you want from me Kellan?!”

  “No one’s ever said any of that to me before,” he whispered.

  Still angry, I blurted, “Well now they have. Good for you!” I turned and began stomping across the field.

  “Lexi,” he called. I ignored him and kept pressing forward.

  One minute I was walking in an open grassy golf course, the next I bumped into something hard. A bit dazed I shook my head and looked up. Kellan placed one hand on each of my arms as to hold me hostage in this position. I did the worst thing possible… I looked into his eyes. His beautiful brilliant green eyes sparkling like emeralds in the night responded to my attention with a flicker of passion within them. Lost in my trance, I was caught off guard when he whisked me into his arms without warning and took off.

  When I broke away, I realized we weren’t going the way he came. We were flying in and out of trees along the back yard lines of a neighboring community. I sunk into Kellan, retracting against the cold of the night once again. Within minutes we were on my door step. The moment he set me down I marched up to my room to sulk in the comforts of my big warm bed where I was free to like and dream of anyone secretly without repercussions.

  Chapter 12

  The morning was a standard routine despite Mel’s presence. Mike came over and after last night with Kellan, I was happier than ever to entwine myself within his arms. I knew I was supposed to be breaking up with him; I knew I was just procrastinating, but it felt good to be in his arms in that moment. I needed the comfort, even if he didn’t know what it was truly for.

  “Now this is what I call a proper welcome,” he smiled as I nearly toppled into his embrace the minute he set foot in the door.

  “Yea.”

  “How was dinner last night with Mel?” he asked pulling us into the family room to sit.

  “It went good. She stayed the night.”

  “I’m surprised.”

  “I know, right? Anyways, she’s freshening up. My mom already said she’ll take us.”

  “Awesome. I hate the bus. My dad promised to buy me a car, but not until I bring English up to at least a ‘B’.”

  “I can help with that,” I offered. “That is definitely my forte.”

  “That’d be great. You think you could help me with my monologue? I have Mrs. Henderson second period so we have the same assignment.”

  “Sure. You want to just come over after school?”

  “You’re a lifesaver.”

  “Ok. I’m officially ready to go,” Mel announced as she entered the family room, backpack in hand.

  Right behind her stood my mother. “Lexi, I need to speak with you for a moment. Mel. Mike. Why don’t you go get in the car; the heat is on already,” she prompted politely.

  I waited for my friends to exit before turning to my mother a bit uneasy. “What’s up, Mom?”

  “Alexa,” she stated firmly placing her hands on my shoulders lightly, “I need you to please be careful. Avoid all new students at school, anyone you are unfamiliar with. The attacker in is our area.”

  Instantly my stomach began to gurgle nervously. “H…How can you be so sure?” I stuttered.

  She sighed looking into my fearful eyes and answered not out of desire, but necessity. “A vampeen transforming was murdered. She lived in Goose Creek.”

  “What…When did this happen?” I pressed in a panic. My mind was racing. Ideas, concerns, nightmare possibilities flashed before me, consuming my rational.

  “Last night,” she stated looking away, trying to remain unruffled for my sake seeing how easily frightened I was.

  I felt the life force within me drain. I felt empty. In forty-eight hours, I would be transforming with a crazed vampire on the loose and ready to destroy me. I hadn’t crossed over yet and I was already the center of their war efforts; a war I didn’t wish to be a part of. I’d met Kellan and his father; I had no problem with their kind thus far. And the vampeens I’d met seemed equally amicable.

  “Let’s go before you’re late for school,” she prompted, maintaining a professional manner about her. She gently pushed me towards the garage. I wasn’t mentally there at the moment and she recognized that.

  Upon arriving at the car, Mel and Mike had strategically sat apart. Mel was sitting in the front seat with Mike in the back anticipating the ride to school beside me. I quietly slid in the backseat next to him, feeling pale as a ghost, bug eyed and fearing death with each lingering second.

  Mel stared at me as I entered the car absorbing my energy, or lack thereof, and Mike acknowledged my expression with matched apprehension. I couldn’t shake it; this was one time when my emotions couldn’t be tamed. The concept was engrained into my m
ind; the sheer comprehension of intent to murder was slathered over my confidence. I suppose for the first time I fully understood the danger I was in; the danger I was luring to my family.

  Neither Mike nor Mel questioned me in the car knowing it was my mother’s words that had disarmed me. Mel attempted to communicate with her eyes and a few mouthed words, but I just stared off into space, dead to the world and incapable of recognition. Mike put his arm around me, and, though I couldn’t tell him the truth, his presence alone provided me a bit of comfort.

  I leaned into his arms prompting a full embrace from him. I didn’t believe for one minute that Mike could fight off a vampire, but I did know he cared enough about me to try. Of course this would probably never happen, but I thought the same about encountering a vampire in my lifetime a week ago.

  The moment my mother drove off, what I knew was coming did – Mel and Mike drilled me.

  “Lexi, what the heck happened with your mom?!” Mel exclaimed.

  “Yea babe, you look whiter than a ghost. What’s going on?”

  Wow. Am I really that pale?

  Snap back Lexi! What are you going to tell them? What could I tell them? Surely I couldn’t exploit the truth; they probably wouldn’t believe it anyways. But I had nothing but the truth at the forefront of my audible thoughts; my thinking was fogged by the mounting stress.

  “Lex! I’m drowning here!” Mel cried wearily trying to squeeze juice from a barren fruit, which would be me at this point.

  There’s nothing else I could do but tell the truth. I had to say something. I could escape with a white lie with Mike, but Mel knew me too well.

  “Umm…” I stumbled to coordinate my thoughts into words without revealing too much. I sighed. At that moment I felt it, I couldn’t hold back any longer. Then it came. The water began welling up in the ducts of my eyes, my throat tightened and breathing became uneven.

  “Lex. Are you okay? What’s wrong babe?” Mike pressed with worry lines across his forehead.