Diary of a Vampeen

by Christin Lovell

  “I had no choice. Every one of them threatened me if I told you,” he said pointing at the faces staring back at me.

  I laughed, “I guess I can understand.”

  The next four and half hours I laughed, cried, and celebrated my life up until now. Al cooked the meal which tasted exquisite, as if it was imported from the finest Italian restaurant in Tuscany. My dad and I reminisced over my childhood. Up until middle school I was the epitome of a daddy’s girl and still am at heart. In a special moment I reminded him of that which was what brought on the bought of tears by all the women at the table.

  Beth shared stories from Spain while Al gave me a few more vampire facts to absorb. Aunt Claire shared stories from her and my mother’s transformation. They laugh now at their hysterics and mishaps, such as running into walls, unable to stop abruptly when they didn’t have complete control over their new abilities; but I knew back then they felt overwhelmed just as I did now.

  The grand finale to the night was a gift from my mother, aunt, and Gran. “What is it?” I asked as I tore open the pristine white wrapping paper. All paper and ribbon removed, I saw it was a scrapbook.

  I flipped it open to find page by page pictures chronicling my years as a human. Comments and stories clearly written by my mom and aunt filled the space between the photos. My heart stopped on the final page. I choked up, gasping for air. I looked at my mother who held the same fountain of tears in her eyes. Never before tonight had I seen my mother cry; never had I bore witness to such a tender moment as now.

  I ran my fingers across the picture of me and Gran and moved down to the letter below it. I could feel the imprints of the pen where she had pressed down to write.

  My Dearest Ally, (only she called me this)

  You are about to take the same right of passage as all the women in our family before you. Without seeing you, I know whole-heartedly that you will surpass us all in performance and acceptance of your new identity. You possess the inner strength I long to replicate and the unweathering heart I know we already share.

  You have the wisdom of an owl, the morals of a Saint, the diligence of a scientist, the passion of Picasso, and the perfect beauty of a rose which is pretty despite its shape or size. I’ve heard your potential in every conversation we’ve had. There are forces you need to survive in our world. While others must develop them, you already hold them deep within.

  As you cross over, you will be tested. Your heart will fight your mind and your body will test your spirit. You should practice living daily; while procrastination is easy when you have forever, so is forgetting.

  Stay strong in yourself Ally. Stay true to the powerful female vampeen I know is inside. Regardless of the distance between us, I have always and will always know your soul and proclaim with pride that you heir from me. I know you will never fail yourself or your family.

  I love you my dearest Ally.

  Gran

  I sat frozen, the tears quickly falling like rain.

  “It’s almost time Lexi,” my mother advised softly.

  Swallowing hard, trying to rid the lump in my throat, I looked around at everyone. “Thank you. For everything.”

  I couldn’t believe the time had arrived already. It took so long yet happened so quick. Listen to me; I was so nervous I was contradicting myself!

  “It’s nothing honey,” Al said.

  “We love you Lexi. I know you’ll be fine,” my dad said with a tearful smile. I leaned over and hugged him. I then turned to my mother and did the same.

  “I love you sweetie,” she whispered in my ear.

  “Love you too,” I choked. “What time is it?”

  “It’s 11:47,” Beth smiled at me. “You should probably go get settled in bed.”

  “Umm. I know it’s a little late, but how does this work?” Ok, late was an understatement. I’d literally procrastinated to the last minute.

  “At midnight, your body will feel heavy. Slowly you will drift out. Within thirty seconds you will be unconscious and asleep until midnight tomorrow,” Beth explained.

  “And the whole coffin thing?” I asked feeling my stomach flutter as my nerves took over.

  “It’s used traditionally, but isn’t necessary. Kellan installed electronic blackout window seals this morning. You’ll be in your bed the entire time,” Aunt Claire advised. So that explained why he was peering through my window last night; he was probably checking measurements or something.

  “Kellan and I will be in there the full duration to protect you. You have nothing to worry about,” Al stated confidently.

  I gave my parents and everyone else one last hug before turning to go upstairs. My parents and Aunt had tears flowing down their cheeks as they watched me go. “Thanks again. I love you all,” I choked out between short breathes as the tears still slid down my face. It felt like I was saying good-bye forever.

  “Kellan, go get her tucked in,” Beth directed.

  Kellan grabbed my hand and gave me a light squeeze. Hand in hand, side by side, we took the walk to my room.

  “I feel like a death row inmate taking her final walk,” I chuckled nervously trying to control my emotions.

  “You’ll be fine Lexi. I won’t let anything happen to you,” he reassured me.

  I simply nodded my head. My throat had closed temporarily at the notion of what was coming.

  Once in my room, I walked towards my bed slowly. With each step my stomach knotted tighter. Kellan checked around the room; I guess to make sure we were alone before grabbing a remote. Seconds later black coverings dropped down over my windows sealing them. He then closed the blinds and curtains over that.

  “Thorough,” I noted aloud. I lay down in my bed and pulled the covers up over me. The only light was my clock on my nightstand reading 11:56pm. Seeing the time for myself made the nerves kick into overdrive. Frantic waves rushed through me as a pulsating stir of anticipation surfaced.

  “Kellan?” I called in a little panic.

  He grabbed my hand and shifted next to me on the bed. “I’m here,” he said, though I couldn’t see him given the pitch-black darkness. I’d never seen my room so cave-like.

  “You promise it doesn’t hurt?”

  “I promise. You feel like someone injected you with anesthesia medicine. You’ll be okay Lexi. You can stop shaking.”

  My palms were sweating as my nerves intensified with every passing second. “Actually I can’t. I’m really nervous. How much longer?”

  “It’s 11:58.”

  “Kellan. Thanks for being here. I know I’ve been crazy sometimes and I haven’t known you that long but I appreciate you. I love you for all of that you’ve done for me,” I spoke swiftly, jitters strewn within my voice.

  “One minute,” he announced. I squeezed his hand. “Lexi?” he called.

  “Yea?” I gulped.

  “Better late than never right?”

  “Umm… I guess?”

  “You’re the one; you’re my girl for eternity.”

  And with that he was on top of me. It was the kiss of death in passion. We held nothing back. He grabbed my face and pulled me tighter to him. I put my hands behind his head and did the same.

  Closer and closer, we couldn’t be any tighter physically as our lips caressed each other with force yet sensual romance concurrently. I pushed towards him emotionally, mentally and spiritually, all my walls silenced. I reached into him like a telepath zoning in on the mind of a person. Pressing forward, I felt no barriers as I had earlier. I struggled to focus as… wait!

  I was feeling a bit groggy; it must have been after midnight. I continued moving in stride with him, our mouths opening and closing in unison, our lips singing perfectly. We were still connected, but I felt my arms fall. A weight was beginning to press down on me. Five pounds… ten pounds…

  Focus Lexi! Search for his soul, feel for his inner core, …remain diligent in your quest. I was losing control, going under. Pushing mentally and emotionally through an invisible layer, scrapin
g to be entwined with him in every format; I was trying to do the undoable.

  Giving all of me over to him, sacrificing my conscience to salvage our final seconds together, I finally hit it. I knew I’d hit it because sparks flew within me. I felt a moment so concentrated, so deep in an overwhelming power that I couldn’t control myself. It’s as if our destinies collided head on; the stars and moon reversed orbit. This was the feeling every person on this earth hopes and searches aimlessly for. It’s beyond words as an immensely awe-inspiring thrust projects through every part of you into that of the person you are with, proving sex is not necessary in the world of spirituality.

  “Kellan.” I tried to call, but nothing came out. “I felt it, I touched it. Our souls became one,” I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs. All guards down in the heat of a dying moment it happened.

  I could feel the internal sedation kick into overdrive. My body was winding down as if I was in a coma. They say you can hear but can’t respond, which was my current state.

  “Tell me you felt it.” I wanted to scream, but the pounds pressing down on me had since multiplied making it impossible to project any noise let alone pure air. My body was numb, completely paralyzed physically; I realized I was only there mentally, but I couldn’t help but scream inside, “Tell me you felt it Kellan!”

  My last seconds were drawing close. I saw the black hole clouding my mind slowly. I couldn’t fight sleep much longer. As I drew my last breath of mental awareness, I finally heard it. “I felt it, my love.”

  Chapter 16

  Voices – whispers, noises, music and a fish tank.

  Subtle sounds were awakening me mentally. My hearing was not the megaphone I assumed it would be, but it’s at least five times more than I had. It’s as if I was wearing a hearing aid turned to max. The whispers were muffled at first, like a crowd buzzing, but it started to clear up, to distinguish and separate in voice distinction as they inhaled to breathe in rhythm.

  “Shh! She’s waking up!” my aunt declared.

  I inhaled deeply to the lingering scent of roses, carnations and another flower I was unfamiliar with. Those must be my birthday flowers. Breathing again, I caught Kellan’s cologne, strong and poignant yet appealing as if he was standing beside me.

  I ran my fingers along my comforter. I felt every fiber, each string of thread woven to create the intricate cotton blend. Remembering the promise of a figure I could appreciate, I began to pull my hands to my stomach carefully hesitating momentarily, acknowledging I would be devastated if I was the only fat vampeen. Before I could feel for my waist, a warm smooth hand entwined with mine.

  “Lexi, sweetie, can you hear me?” my mother asked softly.

  “Y…Yes,” I replied. I was shocked to hear I sounded the same. No melodic, angelic voice, as I dreamed of hearing, escaped my chords; merely a slightly hoarse version of my own.

  “Open your eyes sweetie. It’s 12:02. It’s all done and you’re… you’re… beautiful!” she gushed. I heard the hushed single tear slide down her cheek and splatter lightly on my comforter.

  It was relatively quiet yet far from silent. I heard the sound of a few stray birds outside, the fish tank in my dad’s office humming, and the steady breathing of the six people I sensed the energy of around me matching the six pitter-patter beats I assumed were their hearts.

  My eyelids flittered as I opened them to the dark room. I was still able to see every detail within but in a muted color pattern. I have night vision!

  I looked to my right to see my mother still holding my hand, smiling with pure elation and relief extending from her. Next to her was my dad. I knew he couldn’t see me, I remembered how I was just twenty-four hours ago. Seeing the fear still stretched across the wrinkles in his forehead, hearing his heart accelerate with each passing second of silence, I knew he felt left out in this moment. He’s the blind man at a silent motion picture movie.

  “Dad,” I called.

  He took a deep breath; I saw him choke back a few tears filling the basins of his eyes. “How do you feel?” he asked, nerves shaking him.

  “Ok, I think,” my voice was beginning to clear. I reached out, much faster than I meant to, and embraced him. He squeezed me with all his might, which would have crushed me before, but felt like a gentle brush from a willow’s branches. “I’m ok Dad,” I reiterated.

  As I was leaning over my bed on my knees pulling him into me, I noticed the most awkward thing: the waist of my capris is almost at my knees. I released my dad and tugged up my pants immediately. “Sorry about that,” I chuckled feeling embarrassed by my free show. I felt the rosy red of heat lift into my cheeks.

  “Here,” my aunt handed me a white box. “This is my gift to you,” she smiled.

  “Can we turn on the light? I want dad to see too.”

  “Thanks sweetie. Glad to know you still think about your old man.” Even in the darkness his joy was visible.

  The light flickered on from the chandelier over my bed. My eyes adjusted quickly and the colors that warmed my room turned vivid, brilliantly reflecting every ray of light.

  I heard my dad begin to gasp. Before he exhaled entirely my body was maneuvered, situated in front of him observing his vital signs.

  “What’s wrong?!” I yelled in fear still scrutinizing his color, the pumping of blood pulsed within the vital vein in his neck. But he didn’t say anything, his mouth hung ajar as his eyes stared in astonishment at me. “Mom, what’s wrong?!”

  “Nothing sweetie. You’re dad, as all of us are, is surprised by your appearance. You’re still Lexi, beautiful before, but, well, gorgeous doesn’t even begin to describe you now. You’re far better than we imagined, breathtaking,” she answered with the same glossy-eyed look as my father.

  I turned to Kellan who was standing at the foot of my bed with his parents. His eyes appeared the same. The emerald green of his eyes were mesmerizing with my enhanced vision. They hold varying striations of a grassy green, emerald green, light brown, and lines of gold with a few specks of blue surprisingly mixed in. The outer rim of color is a muted hazel instead of the black or brown I assumed. They gave the impression of having a shiny clear coating over them that is reflecting a mirror image of my crystal chandelier overhead.

  I became lost in his eyes. Their beauty exceeded any human visions I’d happened in my life. No rainbow, no ocean sunset, no field of colorful daisies compared to what I saw in him now.

  Nothing compared to the way I felt. Energy – I had a supply beyond necessary performance levels. I was ready to run across the entire nation without shedding a single bead of sweat. The scent that encompassed my room was of flowers, cologne and a lingering morsel of my shampoo. Occasionally I would catch a dusty draft from the A/C vent.

  The sounds of nature, life and the living surrounded me. From the neighbor’s occasional snore to the other neighbor’s backyard water fountain, I heard the near and distanced items distinctly. And my eyes, everything was so bright. I felt like I peered through a frosted glass for sixteen years.

  I looked at everyone around me observing the tiny details I missed with my human eyes. Even 20/20 is flawed greatly in comparison. As I was watching each of them, they were equally concentrated on me. I must be drastically different physically; why else would they silently gawk over me…

  As if I said it aloud my aunt interjected, “Let’s stop gawking at Lexi and give her some space. Open your gift and then we’ll give you some time alone.”

  I smiled and lifted the cardboard box with a smooth white overlay. I pushed the tissue paper aside to reveal a navy blue velour Juicy Couture crystal embellished jacket. “It’s gorgeous Aunt Claire,” I gasped holding up the hooded masterpiece. “And small,” I noted aloud.

  “There are matching pants and a white tank to wear beneath,” she advised with a smile emulating mine.

  “I love it! Thank you so much! I know you must have spent a fortune!” I exclaimed. Without thinking first I was on my feet hugging her.

  �
��Umm, Lexi… sweetie,” my mother called.

  “Yea Mom?”

  “Your pants,” she stated pointing at the sunken material sliding effortlessly past my hips.

  “Sorry! Umm… I guess I need that minute now,” I bit my bottom lip as I spoke the line. How awkward! I’d only been up for seven minutes and I’d mooned everyone twice.

  “Make sure you look in the mirror!” my aunt smirked exiting the room with a smug look plastered on her.

  “Love you sweetie,” my mom kissed my forehead at the same time as my dad before leaving hand in hand with him.

  “You’re perfect Lexi,” Beth complimented giving me a gentle hug on her way out. Al passed by and winked prior to following his wife.

  “Thanks,” I replied.

  I turned back to Kellan. He was still in the same spot, his face locked in the exact expression he’d held minutes ago. His lips, full and pout, were shaping a small exasperated ‘o.’ His features were perfect even with my detailed magnification. His pores were sized evenly; his skin had not one blemish, until I noticed one small faint freckle on his left cheek approximately two millimeters from the bridge of his nose. His dimple indented ever so slightly setting in a light honey complexion amidst the light tan of him.

  “Kellan,” I spoke, unsure of what to say or how to react in this moment.

  I heard my family downstairs. My dad was speechless over my looks, my aunt gushing about me inheriting her figure, and Al saying to look out for Kellan to make a move. I needed to look in a mirror with all this fuss.

  I closed the door, holding my pants up in case and came to stand beside him. “Kellan?” He just stared at me with a dumbfounded gaze. “Do I look that bad?” I asked wrinkling my forehead as doubt seeped in.

  “No,” he whispered. He quietly swallowed, almost in a gulping, nervous way.

  I heard whispered steps up the stairs and a bag rustling along the way getting closer. I opened my door just as my mother handed me a Victoria Secret bag. I peered in to see cute panties and a bra.