by Rudolph, J.
"It's all fucked isn't it?" I asked in great gulping sobs. "It's all gone to hell and this is the world now. How do we live in this world with zombie children forever wandering around a playground that they will never play on again? How do we accept a world that leaves babies as nothing but a brown stain and a pile of discarded bones? How do we live in the world that has been so totally destroyed?" He didn't have an answer for me. He knew that there was no answer for something like this. He just held his arm around me as he kept driving. I breathed deep panic driven gulps of air. It felt like there wasn't enough air left in the world.
It was dark when we got to an open space and pulled over. I walked away from everyone and fell to my knees. I ran my hands through the dirt and cried. Trent came over to where I had collapsed to my knees, lifted my face up in his hands, and kissed me. He kissed me like it was the first time and the last time we would ever kiss. I held to him while we kissed then peeled off his shirt. Under a moonless, star filled sky he whispered to me, "Its not all fucked. We go on. We are together, Drew is not one of those children. We survived and we go on." I pressed my lips against his again and we made love in the dark.
One of us
We rejoined the group where Matt and Lucas were putting together the fire while telling stories of their life pre-zombie. They were Irish twins, born just ten months apart. This was a great source of confusion to a great deal of teachers that there were these two boys in the same class that were brothers but had different birthdays. They liked to play tricks on their teachers as much as possible and were partners in crime to a great number of practical jokes on their poor mother. Liam was listening with great interest when they talked about setting up water buckets over doors and having people chase a dollar on fishing line. Justin leaned over and whispered something into Liam's ear which earned a great big smile. Something told me we were all in for some trouble of the joke sort.
We put together the radios and sent the boys off in different directions to test them out while we put together dinner. Lacey and Merideth added some of their canned goods to the dinner pile and we all ate together. Jody seemed to be doing better than the last time we sat together for dinner, I think being with her family helped, but she wasn't very talkative.
Merideth and Lacey were easy going people and it was nice to get to know them. Lacey was a little more girly than I prefer to hang out with, fussing about hair and make up and how dirty they all were, but Erin took to her in an instant. She answered questions that Erin asked about how to make the best smokey eye and how to get her hair to lift behind headbands. Merideth, on the other hand, was more of an outdoors girl. She was just as comfortable sitting on the dirt and messing with the campfire as her boys were, and I imagined she had spent a lot of time with her boys out in the forest.
Raine sat by herself, reading on her Kindle while she ate. Jackson held tight to a well-worn paperback with a twig as a bookmark that saved his place until he was done eating. They both said little, but when they did they were polite and friendly. Justin and Erin sat together making teenage flirts towards one another. Jody watched her daughter with a twinge of sadness in her eyes, but said nothing.
After dinner, Lucas found a soccer ball and got the kids together for a little game. Justin and Jackson played the role of opposing team captains and seemed to be having fun doing the sibling rivalry thing. Erin and Lacey played cheerleader for both sides and I applauded whoever made a goal. It was easy to imagine that we were all just hanging out on a camping trip together. They seemed to be integrating with our group well.
I looked over and saw that Matt, Merideth, and Trent were having a conversation and I wandered over to them when Trent waved me over. I sat down next to Trent while Matt continued to talk. "I just don't know what to do. My entire game plan rested on staying in Las Vegas, but it was so much more overrun than I could possibly imagine. I can't put my family there. I couldn't put Lucas' family there. We'd be snacks. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore." He rested his head on his hands and sighed. Merideth put her hand on his back and rubbed it. She didn't say anything, but it was pretty clear that she was worried about what was going to happen as well.
"So stick it out with us." Trent invited. Matt's head lifted up sharply and he looked at Trent in disbelief, almost expecting that there would be a retraction of the offer. "We're rolling up to Idaho via the 15. If you end up wanting to pull out of this and set down roots along the path then cool, but man, it looks like you need us and we need you. So join us." Trent held his breath in a hopeful pause. We did need them. We needed more men in our group, and these guys were a great fit. They knew enough to stay alive this far. Maybe they had tips on what worked for them. Matt looked into Merideth's eyes looking for her opinion on the whole thing. She smiled at him with a look that this was an answer to her prayers.
"Yeah, alright. Let's do it." Matt said, a little more confident that his world wasn't going to end. He called Lucas and Lacey over. Trent offered the same invite to them as well. Matt told Lucas that joining us was what he wanted to do. Lucas paused for a bit, weighing his options, and agreed to joining us as well.
For the rest of the night we sat together and got to know one another. Lacey pulled out a bag of marshmallows she had stashed so we all had a super neat dessert in the desert. Jody seemed relieved that the new women wanted to take JJ off her hands and she retreated into a quiet bubble after she fed the baby, grateful for the down time.
As the fire died and the cold settled in and the adrenalin that the day's events had given us fully wore off, we all decided that a good night sleep was in order. Watch was assigned across several people and we all tucked in for the night. I fell asleep with hope dancing in the back of my brain. There were still good people out there.
Utah
The next morning we woke with the sunrise. Ice formed crystals all around, blanketing the ground in sparkles. We made a quick breakfast and packed it all up. We all couldn't wait to get in our vehicles and on the road so we could run a heater.
Given the risk of ice on the roads we drove slowly despite the lack of cars. After all, no one wanted to get into a car wreck in the middle of the end of the world. It took us 4 hours to get into St. George which we figured would be a good break spot. The air was crisp and storm clouds loomed in the sky. We pulled down a side road and set up base camp there. We decided it would be much easier to scout out the town if we were only using the littler cars. We set up 2 different teams for the scout. Trent, Matt, and I were in one team while Tyreese, Lucas, and Lacey were in the other. We decided that getting supplies at every stop would serve us well, we didn't know what would come up later and how well Kristen was doing. For our first stop, we found a grocery store to pick through. Before we went inside, we loaded up on crossbows and arrows and made sure that the guns were loaded. Someone else had this idea as well, the windows were broken out and the goods were very picked over. There were a few random cans, but nothing significant. We battled icy sidewalks and stopped at a mom and pop style pharmacy to rummage through. There were a few prescriptions left on the counters and some over the counter things like vitamins, which I reminded myself to look at as a positive thing, there was at least something to get. I was able to get the iron for Jody. We were just about out of the store when we found our first group of Utah zombies. They were thin and behaved as though food wasn't abundant in this town. They stumbled and fell on the ice giving us plenty of time to dispatch them. We used our crossbows and took them out quickly. We found a gas station, refueled the SUV, and found more gas cans to fill. We would hit the gas station on our way out to get everything else filled.
We came back to the group just before Tyreese's group did. We weren't feeling too optimistic at this point that there would be a lot that they were going to be coming back with given that our big score was vitamins. We were wrong. They found a stash of arrows that had been neglected for bullets. That was so awesome. We tried to retrieve our arrows whenever possible, but that only worked in perfect cir
cumstances ,and as a result there were a lot of lost arrows out there.
St. George had never been a large town, but even so, I wasn't expecting the ghost town that was here. I expected that with the Mormon temple here that more people would have come here to pray. There were just a handful of zombies. We ate lunch in relative peace and saddled back up. We had Drew ride up front with us.
We drove deeper into Utah, the elevation changes playing havoc on our ears. There was very little on our route, which brought mixed emotions to me. Nothing on our chunk of road meant no zombies, but it also meant there was no help if something went wrong. Snow sparkled like glittered sand.
It was almost five PM when the storm clouds blocked out the sun. We were just outside a small town by the name of Scipio when the snow began to fall.
"Damn. I was afraid of this." Trent sighed heavily, grabbed the CB walkie, pressed the button and began to speak.
"Hey guys. I think we need to pull off. Snow driving isn't something I've got a lot of experience with, not to mention, I don't know hard this is going to hit. Let's take the next off ramp and drive through town until we find a place that we can flip the semi around. We on the same page?"
The CB came alive with a chorus of people spouting their agreements with the plan.
The snow fell harder as we reached the off ramp and visibility was poor. We wound through the small town until we hit the last home on the street. It was a large single level farmhouse style home with a detached barn. It was old looking and welcoming with its wrap around porch and warm neutral paint shades. We bumped along the long drive to the house.
The CB cracked to life. "Trent, come in?" Tyreese's voice called out through the tinny speaker.
"Go for Trent." He replied, somewhat officially. I stifled a giggle.
"Take the back door. I'll take the front. We'll clear the place fast." Tyreese suggested.
Trent called back in agreement. Matt called in and offered to join us. Tyreese said that he couldn't see why not.
Trent killed the engine and coasted to the farthest end of the drive. "Drew, lay down flat. Don't open the truck door until we tell you." Trent told Drew. Drew nodded seriously. I pulled out my gun and slid quietly out of the truck. Trent and I closed the doors to the truck at the same time. Snow crunched under my feet as we crept up the walk. The back door was open a crack. I had mixed emotions over that slightly open door. It could be a good thing, if the occupant was already a zombie then they could have wandered off, but at the same time, anything could have wandered in.
Scipio
Trent nudged the open door further open with his dirty brown hiking boot. Beige paint flaked off the corner exposing the old wood underneath it, and the hinges issued a loud creak on its path as the door swung open. I cringed at the sound, the silence of the night acted as an amplifier. As we crept through the opening, I heard the front door knob click and a similar squeak erupted from its worn hinges. We walked softly over linoleum flooring in the mud/laundry room, the first room from the outside. As we continued on, the linoleum transitioned to the hardwood floors of an old, dark kitchen. We stayed close to the walls and found ourselves directed into a large living area where we met up with Tyreese. We tried to move as quietly as possible, stepping softly where ever we went. The occasional floor board betrayed our position when it squealed with protest of the weight we put on it as we crept along. I jumped over each sound, just knowing that at any second I could be face to face with the dead or a very angry homeowner. We walked through a long hallway. We peered into each room for signs of life or signs of the dead. I almost shot a coat stand with a hat. Room after room came up empty. We made sure that the front door was locked and went to tell everyone the coast was clear, but to use the back door only to help keep the entrances more secured.
Lucas had double checked the surrounding area. "We'll have to look in the barn when we have more light." He seemed tense not knowing what could be lurking. I was too, but there is only so much that could be done. As long as our sleeping area was secure the rest would wait.
"Alright, everyone, grab some bedding and take it inside." I called out. A collection of car doors being closed and soft chatter began. "There are a few bedrooms and an awesome fireplace in the living room. We can probably warm up some wash water, too." Some of the girls let out a slight whoop at that idea.
In only a few moments, we had gathered wood from the woodpile near the back door, started a decent fire in a large stone fireplace, and we warmed up some cans of stew that were in the pantry. The bread in an oak bread box had turned into a science project gone bad. Some fruit had mostly rotted to nothing in the refrigerator.
Once we were warm and full, we poked around our new hiding spot. It was a beautiful home decorated in an old Americana style. Trent's mom, Louise, would have loved it. Muted blue couches with a slight floral print set the perimeter of the living room. A faded beige and maroon oval braided rug covered the hardwood floor in front of the fireplace. On an oak mantle, framed photos sat importantly. The photo paper in the frames ranged from very recent to very old as did the styles of clothes the subjects of the photographs wore. The largest one was placed in the center and looked to be at least 60 years old. A young man and a young woman stood side by side, hands clasped and clearly in love. I stared at the photo and wondered if they lived here. I wondered if they were alive someplace hiding out, if they had died, or if they were among the many of the living impaired.
I walked back into the kitchen, taking in the style now that I wasn't focusing on the task of feeding everyone. I loved the cupboards; whitewashed wood with glass panes showed the cream colored dishes. The stove was run by gas and looked as though it had been transposed from an episode of "Leave it to Beaver," as did the refrigerator. A window hung right above a large metal sink and looked out on the large backyard. I watched as the dense snow fell. I could imagine the couple in the oldest picture standing side by side washing dishes together, one scrubbing, the other rinsing and drying, while they looked outside and watched the kids play.
I walked along the hall, shining a flashlight into each room. The bathroom, the first door on the right, was my first room discovery. It had to be a woman that had put this room together, with the mixture of pink and off white tiles and fixtures. In the corner was an old claw foot tub that I looked at longingly. I missed bubble baths and I always wanted to take a bubble bath in a tub like this. I peeked into the medicine shelf and found a razor, shaving cream, 2 tooth brushes, toothpaste and an arthritis cream rub. The sink was pedestal style so there were no cupboards to rifle through there. In the soap rest was a dried out bar of soap, the edges were cracked and curling from lack of use. Porcelain knobs with an H and a C were part of a chrome faucet and I absently reached for them to test to see if there was water pressure, expecting nothing. I was stunned to find water coming out, and that there was some force behind it. The water initially ran brown but recovered quickly as the pipes were flushed out. It occurred to me that if there was water at the sink, then there would likely be water at the toilet. I walked over to the pink toilet and pushed down on the flush lever. The water that came out of the fill tank was rusty brown from sitting unused for a while but on flush two, the water was clean. It almost seemed like a dream that all this worked. I was truly surprised. My final bathroom test was the tub. I turned on the water using the hot knob only, waited for the rust to be cycled through and after a few minutes placed my hand into the flow of near freezing water. No hot water was working its way through the pipes, but I was okay with that. We had running water.
The next room was a sewing room. Partial projects were strewn across a dining room table that had been re-purposed as a craft table. On a dress form in a corner was a mostly completed dress, waiting on the placement of the collar and the final hemming on the skirt. A sewing machine sat on a desk with a comfortable office chair tucked into the leg space. I walked over to the project table, being nosy for sure, and noticed that with these piles of fabric were dolls waitin
g for their stuffing. The yarn hair was already placed; the embroidered faces were already stitched. There were eight dolls in this stage. We had four girls in the group. Next to the pile of dolls was a pile of five bears also just needing to be stuffed. We had four boys including the baby. I decided if this place was found to be totally abandoned I could do a group activity. I wondered if Jody and Mercedes would like to help teach.