by Unknown
He takes a deep breath. “Fine, if that’s how you want it. David is good. He misses you.”
“Michael, we’re not going to continue this conversation like this.”
He places his hands in his pockets and looks over at Jenna for a second. “Well, I better get going,” he says before turning back to me. “By the way, Jenna told me that she read a press release about your record deal. Congratulations.”
“Thank you, but the record deal wasn’t just for me. My band was included as well.”
“To think, the first time you walked into Jazzmyne’s was with me.”
“Bye, Michael. I can’t handle this conversation anymore.” I wave to Jenna and quickly walk away. As I get into my car, I look back at the gas station and realize that I can no longer come here. And for the first time, I feel like I no longer have to.
Chapter Sixty-six
June 17, 1995
You started as an assignment for me, but became my way of life—a daily task that wouldn’t let me rest unless I’d shared my innermost thoughts, be it at two in the morning or eight in the evening. You have been my savior on dark and lonely nights.
You have been like a second mother, allowing me to tell you everything that happened during the long hours of the day, everything that ripped my heart open with joy and laughter, or pain and tears.
No judgment you gave, only a listening ear to my scribbling. My wild talk.
Frankly, I don’t know if I would have survived this year without you.
I can’t say that I love you; you are not a person, although I suppose one can love a thing, too.
So I say to you, my dear journal, thank you.
You have been a good friend and my closet, as Jack once said.
Thank you for understanding. For understanding everything.
Even today, as I sit here with only minutes left to write in you, you understand why I’m wearing this dream of white and lace, and why the person I gave my heart to told me that he could love…someone like me.
Discussion Guide
1. Do you think Mýa could have done more to stop Zee? Or do you feel that Mýa’s potential sense of loyalty to Zee held her back in some way?
2. If you were in Michael’s shoes, would you have held Mýa responsible for what happened to his brother? Why or why not? Do you feel Michael should have forgiven Mýa?
3. Michael seems to believe in love at first sight. Do you? Why or why not?
4. Do you feel that Michael was supportive of Mýa, or too persistent in pushing her to sing? How so?
5. Mýa deals with self-esteem issues. Why do you think having healthy self-esteem is vital? What can cause women to have low self-esteem, and how can they rebuild it for themselves?
6. Seeking help from a professional counselor was suggested to both Mýa and Michael, yet both refused. Do you feel that talking to a professional counselor might have helped them or even saved their relationship? If so, how? What are some of the misconceptions people might have about getting help from a professional?
7. Keeping a journal was how Mary and Mýa shared their innermost thoughts and feelings. Do you feel that was fair to Jack or any of their other loved ones? Should they have shared their thoughts and feelings with anyone else, or were they entitled to their own private musings?
8. Mary and Jack often gave Mýa advice. Which piece of advice resonated with you, and why?
9. Do you keep a journal? If so, why? If not, is it something you might consider after reading this book?
10. Mýa fought throughout the book to forgive herself and find peace. Do you think she finally found both? How important is forgiveness versus peace of mind?
11. Which one did you feel was better for Mýa: Michael or Matt? Explain.
Acknowledgments
Writing a book was hard after two years of trying to get in the right headspace. It wasn’t that my love of writing had waned, but the stories that used to crowd my thoughts at night as I slept felt as if they had made their home in the mind of someone else. While 2020 came with many ups and downs due to COVID-19, I will say that the “stay at home” time helped me to find those stories again.
I am eternally grateful for the love and support that my husband continues to spoil me with.
To my mother and my stepfather, both of whom never stopped believing in me: thank you.
To my mother-in-law, who gets more excited about me writing a new book than I do: thank you.
To my sister, who got upset when I told her that she would have to wait until this book was released to read it: thank you.
To all of my family, especially my Uncle Charles, who can’t stop smiling as he tells everyone he knows that I’m an author: thank you.
To LeAnn Sellers: thank you for always having my back.
To my friends, who have been my teammates and cheerleaders: thank you.
To each of my coworkers, especially Yoshee Sodiq, Jerome, Daniel, and Jasen: thank you.
To my publisher and all those who assisted with bringing this book to life: thank you.
Finally, to all my readers: thank you.
About the Author
Born in Illinois, Marian L. Thomas wouldn’t say that her first career choice was writing novels. She saw herself working as a journalist for a local newspaper. In college, she served as a sports editor for the student paper, and later as the news editor. But Marian’s writing path took a detour when she drafted her first completed manuscript. Now, she can’t imagine not crafting stories for women that bring characters to life—characters who face real obstacles, cross difficult barriers to find love, and discover all the wonderful possibilities that life can offer.
Marian has been featured on television stations such as Fox, NBC and CBS, and in many print and online publications including USA Today. She currently resides in Atlanta with her husband, enjoys a big bowl of popcorn every night, and believes that pasta should be a vegetable. Readers can stay connected to Marian through her website and active social media accounts, so stop by and say hello or join her mailing list for new release updates.
Website: www.marianlthomas.com
Twitter: @marianlthomas01
Instagram: marianlthomas09
Facebook: www.facebook.com/marianlthomasbooks
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