“Yeah,” Leo murmured. “I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right. Oh, and teach her some manners. She’s can be quite a little brat.”
Leo looked momentarily offended, and then he laughed. “Hello, kettle meet pot. But, point taken. I’ve heard her say some things lately that make me think I may have made a mistake moving her across the country.” Leo’s gray eyes darkened. “But, I tried it every way I could think of, and, in the end, I didn’t see what choice I had.”
“I see,” Grant said.
But he didn’t see. In fact, he absolutely didn’t understand a lot of things. Like why Leo’s smile and laugh made his fingers tingle, his chest ache, and his head a little light. He was pissed off that he had these irrational reactions to a person who didn’t have the sense to choose him six years ago, and probably didn’t have the sense to make a good choice now, either.
Not that Grant wasn’t grateful for Leo’s idiocy, because he was! He’d come awfully close to losing a lot more than a chunk of his pride, and God only knew where he’d be today if things had gone differently. He rubbed his chest where his heart beat vulnerably.
As for tonight, he’d had enough.
“Well,” Grant said. “Since I was kind enough to endure your little performance for Memaw, I guess the least I can do is leave you with the bill.”
“Oh, I don’t know, I’m super stingy.” Leo leaned close again, tapping the table with his forefinger. “I’ll have them start a tab for you. They can send you a bill in the mail.”
Grant rolled his eyes. He threw some cash on the table, like they do in the movies when they don’t give a damn. Grant hoped Leo got the same message. “Wish I could say it’s been a pleasure.”
He wanted to slap himself immediately. Couldn’t he have come up with something more biting to say than that?
“Sure, see you around, Grant,” Leo said.
“Hopefully not, Leo,” Grant said, and felt a weird combination of rage and pleasure at Leo’s blinding grin.
“I kind of like it when you talk to me like that, you know,” Leo called after him. Grant didn’t look back, but he still heard Leo say, “It’s cute in a way, romantic even, how much you want to dislike me.”
Grant kept walking, feeling Leo’s eyes on his back, feeling Leo’s presence in the restaurant as the door closed behind him, and feeling Leo in the building as he walked away.
It didn’t ease.
That night, in his bed, Grant could feel Leo’s presence in Blountville, could feel him pushing at the edges of Grant’s consciousness, taking hold, and making him pay attention. Grant punched at his pillow and growled.
Leo Garner was quite possibly the worst thing that had ever happened to him. He made everything difficult. Ruined it all even. First it was celebrating his victory in the OR with a nice dinner, and now it was sleep.
It was like Leo made everything feel…unlucky.
• • •
“So, rumor has it you were on a date with Leo Garner yesterday,” Alec said before Grant had grabbed his much needed first cup of coffee for the day. Alec wore a shimmery blue sweater and a pair of silver pants. Where he found his clothes, Grant would never know.
“Hear no evil, speak no evil.” Grant handed money to the idiot behind the counter at Starbucks, some guy who always made him think of Billy Idol because of his short, bleached blond hair, and his nose rings. He’d worked there for a couple of years now, but Grant didn’t know his name. He didn’t care so long as he gave him his mocha latte with an extra shot.
“Well,” Alec nudged him, batting his glittery lashes at him with a knowing grin.
Grant groaned. “I wasn’t on a date with Leo Garner. I was ambushed by Leo Garner, which seems to be his M.O. by the way. And I was forced to endure crap remarks from Sheriff Memaw—and you know what, Alec? No. We are not having this conversation.”
He grabbed the takeout cup out of Billy Idol’s hand and turned away from the counter, exiting out onto the sidewalk with Alec at his heels. “Because whatever you think is happening isn’t happening, won’t be happening, will never happen, and I just want for one minute, just one minute, to enjoy my coffee without thinking about or talking about Leo fucking Garner.”
Alec’s brows were up in his carefully coiffed hairline, and he looked amused, which was bad. Amused meant that he didn’t believe him. Amused meant that he was going to say something in return, and Grant didn’t want to hear it.
He hustled down the sidewalk in the direction of his car, hoping to jump into it before Alec could catch up to him.
“Oh, please, Grant,” Alec said, grabbing him by the elbow and swinging him around. “Who’s been interrupting your daily coffee with Leo Garner conversations? Could it be that maybe, just maybe, you are the one having trouble not thinking about Leo?”
“Could it be that you have brain damage?” Grant asked. “You tell me.”
“You can’t stop thinking about him and it’s making you a dick. Like I said the other night—love. True love.”
“Leo Garner is annoying, indecisive, opportunistic, and—”
“Gee, Grant, why not tell the entire town what you really think of me,” Leo said, having appeared on the sidewalk just behind Alec. Beside him was Leo’s old friend, the ridiculously tall, kinda handsome, nice suit-wearing, brand-new local lawyer, Doug Silver.
Grant felt the world drop a little from under his feet, leaving him weightless, overly hot, and strangely sick.
“That’s not,” Grant started. “I mean, I didn’t—”
“Know I was here,” Leo finished for him.
“Yeah.”
Leo’s brows scrunched in that adorable fretful look that Grant had nearly forgotten about, and which made him want to smooth it away. He flushed hotly, embarrassed, and wished he could turn back time. Was there a class he could take to teach him to not be such a jerk? Sign him up.
Leo said softly, “I bet you feel kind of like a jerk, now.”
Grant swallowed hard. “Yeah.”
“Apologies are always accepted by Garners. So, hey, it’s all good.” Leo smiled charmingly, his rosy skin indicating he’d recently undergone dialysis. “Besides, the fact that you feel bad about it means that you actually have feelings deep down in your mean little heart. Who’d have thunk?”
“Not me,” Doug said, patting Leo’s shoulder as he passed by, carrying a to-go bag from the Rileyhnut shop next door. His brown eyes shimmered and his dark hair ruffled in the light wind. “See you later, Leo,” he said as he backed down the sidewalk toward his shiny new Audi. “I’ll take of everything. Have a good day, Alec. And you, too, Dr. Anderson.”
Leo grinned at him and gave him a thumbs-up.
“Well, I knew Grant had feelings,” Alec said, waving to Doug and smiling sweetly at Leo. “But it’s a secret, so, you know, shhh.”
Leo sighed and stuck his hands in his pocket. “Grant, c’mon. Can’t we call everything bygones, and be done with all the anger? I’d like to be friends.”
Grant glanced at Alec who gazed at him with gleaming, meaningful eyes. He looked up at the sky. Fluffy happy clouds moved slowly across it, cheerful and betraying. “Sure, I suppose we’ll be running into each other a lot, so we may as well make the best of it.”
“I’m good at that.” Leo smiled.
“Yeah, well, I’m not.” Grant’s gut squirmed, exposed in the light of that smile. “Expect imperfection.”
“I can teach you,” Leo said.
Was he being coy? Flirting? Grant’s groin tingled in response.
Leo went on, “It’s easy enough to make the best of things. I’ll give you an example.” He nodded toward the Starbucks. “I’ll go in there and place my order. He’ll bring me the wrong thing. I don’t know why, but he always does. I’ll take two sips of it, and I’ll think, ‘It’s a good thing I’m not supposed to be drinking this anyway, because it tastes awful.’ Then I’ll throw it away, leaving my kidney that much happier for it.”
&
nbsp; “Was ‘find the silver lining’ part of your post-surgical therapy after your heart transplant in LA?” Grant asked, curious while simultaneously skeptical of the entire line of thinking.
“Um, rude,” Leo said, shooting Alec a ‘can you believe him?’ glance. “Discussing my health issues in public like that. And, no. I never actually attended post-surgical therapy. I’m kind of rogue that way.”
“Ah-huh,” Grant said. “And, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“This is so sweet, guys,” Alec said, grinning. “Now you can be friends again, and hang out, and Dennis and I will have you both over for dinner, and you can bring your daughter, Leo, to play with Dennis’s little one Mina, she’d love that, and we can go on vacations together, and—”
“Alec,” Grant said. “We’ve called a détente, not a marriage.”
“Lucky and I would love to have dinner sometime,” Leo said to Alec, ignoring Grant. Then he grinned, and Grant’s chest cracked open all hot and messy with some sort of unwanted feeling. “Invite Grant too. It would be fun.”
“Don’t encourage him.”
“Go to work,” Alec said to Grant, looping his arm through Leo’s and smiling widely. “Leo and I have plans to make.”
Grant sputtered, stared at them a moment, and then turned to go. He couldn’t make sense of their idiocy, either one of them. Alec wasn’t even being subtle in his matchmaking and Leo wasn’t batting an eye. It was ridiculous. Grant hated living in a small town. He hated Blountville. He hated Leo for making him almost wish that he could have dinner with him at Alec and Dennis’s house.
“Where is Lucky, anyway?” Alec asked, as the two of them walked toward the entrance of the Starbucks.
“With my mom,” Leo said, sounding tired. “I needed a break.”
“Bye,” Alec called to Grant over his shoulder, sticking out his tongue.
Grant waggled his fingers at him, and then shot him the bird when he looked away.
“Well, of course you did. We all do,” Grant heard Alec saying, as the door closed behind him.
Grant stared at the closed door, feeling like a bigger asshole than usual. They hadn’t even invited him to join them. But how could he blame them? Especially after his behavior today. He turned and walked toward his car slowly.
Why did he feel so disappointed about that?
Chapter Five
Present
Meryl Garner, Leo’s country-as-they-come mother, was driving Grant crazy, hovering around Leo’s hospital bed, tucking him in, moving his pillows around, and fussing up a southern-accented storm. It was all Grant could do not to tell her to get out of Leo’s room because she was making Leo anxious. Hell, she was making him anxious.
“Mom,” Leo said, grabbing her hand, and looking up at her with his big, gray eyes that always made Grant’s knees go weak.
They apparently also made Meryl melt into a pile of motherly goo, because she stroked back Leo’s hair, and said, “Yes, baby?” Her sandy-brown hair was cut in the gender-neutral short style oddly common in her generation, and she wore a Vandy sweatshirt over a pair of clean jeans.
“Could you leave me and Grant alone? I just need a minute with him.”
Meryl looked at Grant like she was measuring him up. She turned her attention back to Leo, smoothed his hair back again, and kissed his forehead. “Sure, honey. I’ll be right next door, checking on Jennifer.”
“And call to check on Lucky for me?” Leo asked. “Tell her everything’s fine, okay? I’m sure Dad’s got it under control, but she’s probably nervous.”
“Are you sure you don’t you want to talk to her again? There’s still time.”
Leo shook his head. “I said what I needed to say to her this morning. If I say much more, it’ll just scare her. Just call and ask about what she ate for breakfast, something normal, okay?”
Meryl sighed and took Leo’s hand and pressed it to her heart. “Baby, you’re just so good. Do you know that?”
Leo smiled and looked a little embarrassed. He laughed under his breath. “I don’t know about that. Go check on Jennifer, Mom. She probably needs the pep-talk more than I do right now.”
Grant had busied himself with Leo’s chart, but he put it back in the slot by the door as soon as Meryl left.
“Yes, good idea sending her to make sure the kidney hasn’t bolted again,” Grant said once the door had closed. “Can’t be too careful there. We should have had Sheriff Memaw put a guard on her.”
“Grant,” Leo scolded. “C’mon, Jennifer’s doing me a gigantic favor.”
“Yes, yes, I’ve heard that before.” Grant waved the subject off. “She’s a true philanthropist.”
“Grant,” Leo said, again.
He sat down on the bed next to Leo, and took hold of Leo’s hands, holding them tightly as he asked, “How are you?”
“I’m ready. I’m a little nervous, but mostly, I’m just ready to feel like a million bucks again.”
“Good,” Grant said. “Keep thinking just like that.”
“How about you? How are you doing?”
“I’m going to scrub in,” Grant said, making the announcement he’d been skating around for days. He expected Leo wouldn’t like the idea, but he was prepared to convince him if necessary.
“Excuse me?” Leo said. “Did you just say you were going to scrub in? To what? My surgery?”
“Yes,” Grant said, keeping his voice calm and even. “I’m going to observe the procedure.”
“Grant, you don’t have to—” Leo began.
“Leo,” Grant interrupted, and he leaned close, his voice low and intimate. “When someone you love needs something, you’ll go to any length to get it for them, won’t you? I know that to be true better than almost anyone.”
Leo said, “Yes, but, you know I—”
“This is what I need Leo. This is what I need to do—not for you, for me. Because…” Grant took a breath, closed his eyes to steady himself, and then looked at Leo again. “I don’t think I can handle being on the outside of that room, knowing what’s going on behind the doors, knowing that…” Grant resisted the urge to disparage Jameson again. “That a surgeon is cutting you. I have to be there for that. I need you to let me. Otherwise, I feel like I’m coming out of my skin.”
Leo stared at him, his mouth slightly open, and his eyes huge.
Grant gripped his hands tighter, and whispered, “Can you give this to me, Leo?”
“I don’t know. Isn’t it partly up to Dr. Jameson?” He trailed off, and then he said, “But, even so, I mean, you know what it’s like. It can’t be pretty, all the guts and blood. I don’t know if I want you to see me that way.”
“I do. I want to see that, Leo,” Grant leaned even closer, his voice a near whisper. “There’s nothing about you I wouldn’t want to see. If Jameson gets to see the inside of you, then I want to see it, too. Why should he be more intimate with your body than I am?”
Leo shook his head, laughing softly. “You are a very sick man.”
Grant cupped Leo’s face.
Leo turned his face into Grant’s palm, and then looked at Grant out of the side of his eyes, gazing at him for a long moment before he said, “If you can get Jameson to let you in, then it’s okay with me.”
“Jameson? Please,” Grant scoffed. “What’s he going to say? No?”
• • •
“Uh, no,” Dennis said as Grant tried to follow Jameson and his surgical team into the scrub room. “Just what do you think you’re doing, Grant?”
“Scrubbing in.” Grant pulled his arm out of Dennis’s grip.
“The hell you are, my friend.” Dennis blocked Grant’s way. “This is absolutely out of the question, and if you care at all about Leo, you’ll let his surgeon do his job.”
A bolt jolted Grant’s body and he said quietly, “You don’t understand. They’re cutting him. He’s so fragile, with his heart and… Look, Dennis, you’d want the same if it was Alec, wouldn’t you? And Leo expects me to be t
here for him.”
Dennis looked disgustingly empathetic and Grant’s fingers curled into fists. Dennis glanced around, confirmed that some nurses were watching avidly, and then jerked Grant closer, whispering, “You will be. Just not in there, okay? What would you accomplish by staring holes into Jameson, making him nervous enough to endanger Leo’s life? You’ll make him screw the whole thing up.”
“That’s not—”
“So, you’ll be up there,” Dennis said, pointing toward the stairs leading into an observation room. “And I’ll be there, too.” Dennis put his hand on Grant’s shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. “Just you and me, buddy.”
Grant’s hands flexed in and out of a fist. His breath felt like it was being dragged in through layers of cotton. “I promised him.”
“Come on,” Dennis said, guiding Grant toward the stairs leading up to the observation room. “Stay focused, Grant. Don’t argue. Leo is going to expect you to pay attention to his surgery, not spend a bunch of time flirt-fighting with me.”
Grant’s fingers were completely numb, and his heart pounded so hard that he could feel it in his throat. The strange prickling feeling along his hairline turned out to be sweat when he swiped at it with his hand. He’d never felt like this before. He’d attended gobs of surgeries, performed two hundred and eighteen of them himself, but he’d never felt like he was going to be sick before one. God, what had happened to him? He pressed his forehead to the observation glass and took deep breaths.
“There you go, buddy,” Dennis said. “Good long breaths in and out. That’s good.”
“Stop talking now,” Grant said.
Dennis sighed. “Should I call Alec?”
“For what? Is he a surgeon? Can he promise me that everything is going to be fine? No. I’ll just say something to make him cry anyway.”
Dennis sighed and sat down in a metal folding chair positioned directly in front of the observation room window. “They’ll bring Leo in any minute.”
“He’ll wonder where I am,” Grant said.
“Jameson will tell him. I have a feeling that Leo will know exactly why the decision was made, Grant. And I’m also sure that he’ll know that you’d rather be down there with him.”
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