Chuck took in a deep breath and sighed. He started to fiddle with a napkin ring that had been left lonely on the table, and he said, “Jennifer and Leo always had a special bond. I remember when Jennifer first came home as a baby, Leo stayed the whole first night in the nursery, lying on the floor by her crib, because even then he insisted that she needed him to take care of her. Meryl had to step over him to get to Jennifer in the middle of the night to nurse her.”
That sounded like a little boy Leo. Grant could imagine it clearly.
“Meryl and I—we’ve had our money troubles in the past, and Jennifer, especially, always took it really hard. Leo—well, Leo did too at times, but he would buck up, and try to be a man for his sister. We never had a problem with Leo.” Chuck chuckled in a kind of still-shocked disbelief. “But then Jennifer hit her teenage years and, boy, did she more than make up for Leo being an easy child.”
“Boy trouble?” Grant asked.
Chuck shook his head and raised his brow. “I can see how you might think so, but not exactly. That’s when the drinking started. I assume you know about that.”
Grant nodded curtly. He knew Leo’s sister had a substance abuse problem. Those usually began with drinking.
“Drinking and lying, and then there were the events that lead up to her going out to California. The drama after that…well, there was a lot of it. Drugs and drama. Then she got pregnant. Meryl and I …we didn’t take it so well, to be honest.” Chuck shook his head. “Yeah, Leo is the one who held her together, or tried to, but he felt so ashamed that he hadn’t protected her better from her own self.”
Chuck stood up got a glass of water for himself and poured one for Grant, too.
“Thanks,” Grant said, taking a sip, washing the remnants of wine and anxiety out of his mouth. Grant rubbed the beach towel over his head as Chuck continued to talk.
“Always, though, in the background was Leo propping Jennifer up, helping her through everything. I remember when they were just little things finding Jennifer curled up at the foot of Leo’s bed sometimes, even after he was much too old to have his sister in his bedroom. Leo would tell me just to leave her, that she was scared from the storm or a bad dream. And I would. Leo was her rock. And he wanted to be that for her always. When things changed, when she changed, and Jennifer went her own way. Leo didn’t understand.”
Grant cleared his throat. He took a sip of the water. He had little to contribute to this conversation so he focused on just listening.
Chuck went on, “When Lucky was born, I wasn’t surprised that Leo offered to take her. I suppose we should have stepped up, insisted that we raise her, but Leo and Curtis said they wanted a family of their own, and it seemed perfect for them.” Chuck rubbed a finger over his eye and said, “Leo’s a good father.”
“He is,” Grant agreed.
“Better than I am,” Chuck said.
Grant said nothing, not sure if he had enough information to offer any real reassurance that Chuck wasn’t to blame in any of this.
Chuck went on, “So, this thing with Jennifer—running off to California and then New York, followed by the drugs, and the abusive boyfriend. Leo’s not handling it well. I think he sees it as the ultimate proof of his failure to protect her. Even taking Lucky as his own, even that was partially about protecting Jennifer. He was still taking care of that baby whose crib he slept by. Do you understand what I’m saying, Grant? He loves Jennifer fiercely, and this has broken his heart. Again.”
“Does he always push people away when his heart is broken?” Grant asked.
Chuck nodded and gave a half-hearted chuckle. “Don’t we all? Go on upstairs. Lucky should be asleep by now. He’s probably waiting for you.”
Grant shook Chuck’s hand. “Thanks for the talking to.”
“Go on. He won’t send you home.” Chuck motioned for Grant to climb the stairs. “I’m gonna head on back to town.”
The floorboards creaked under Grant’s feet as they always did. He went to Lucky’s door first, opened it and looked inside. She was sprawled asleep on the bed, her long hair wrapped like a blindfold over her eyes, and her left leg kicked out from under the blankets.
Grant went to Leo’s door next and knocked. He waited a moment and when there was no answer, he opened it slowly.
Leo lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. He’d changed from his wet clothes to a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that was so old it was nearly see-through. He looked comfortable and warm, and Grant’s damp clothes felt clammy and cold against his skin.
“I thought you were going home,” Leo said, quietly.
“I thought I’d stay.”
Leo sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “I’m not always a nice person.”
“No? Well, neither am I.”
Leo breathed out a small laugh and scooted over on the bed, patting the place beside him. The storm outside grew louder, the wind and rain beating against Leo’s window, and a sudden downpour rushed against the roof.
Grant sat down on the edge of the bed, running the backs of his fingers down Leo’s arm, feeling the smooth skin and soft hair. He toed off his shoes and then he lay down next to Leo, his hand wrapped loosely around Leo’s forearm.
“I’m sorry,” Leo said.
“For what? Loving your sister? I can’t blame you for that.”
“For acting like an ass at the restaurant.”
“You were very dramatic. I’ll give you that much. A+ for making the whole town talk about us.”
Leo chuckled. He rolled onto his side and Grant could feel him watching Grant’s face. Grant kept his eyes on the ceiling, counting the faded-out green stars that someone, maybe Leo, maybe not, had put on the ceiling once upon a time.
“And for sitting out in the rain,” Leo said.
“Well, that was stupid,” Grant agreed.
“And for treating you like crap just because I was upset about Jennifer.”
Grant rolled onto his side, too, touching Leo’s face, running his fingers along Leo’s cheekbone. “Don’t make a habit of it.”
Leo’s eyes were dark and yet clear, too, and Grant leaned forward to press a kiss to each lid. Leo wrapped his arms around Grant and held him close, burying his nose in Grant’s neck and breathing in slowly.
“You’re soaked,” Leo murmured, as though he’d just realized how wet Grant still was. “Get these clothes off. You must be freezing.”
Grant couldn’t deny that he was. He was very cold, and damp, and really ready to feel warm again. Leo pushed at Grant’s jacket, peeling it off his arms. He’d started on Grant’s shirt buttons when Grant stilled his fingers. “Leo, I’m sorry, too.”
“Why? I was the one who over reacted.”
Grant said, “It’s hard for me to understand what it means—being Jennifer’s older brother, having her as your sister. I’m an only child with a pretty weird family history, and I didn’t get it.”
Leo shrugged. “You got it eventually. That’s all that matters, right?”
“I haven’t entirely changed my mind about her,” Grant warned. He still thought that every word he’d uttered about her was true. Now, though, he just had more information about why it was true, and how that hurt Leo.
“That’s okay. You’re probably right.” Leo went back to Grant’s buttons. “Let’s not talk about Jennifer anymore. I want to get you dry and warm. Before you get sick.”
It became obvious very quickly that Leo’s idea of dry and warm was as naked as he could get Grant, and as much skin as he could manage to put under his hands and in his mouth. Grant was not complaining about that definition at all.
As Leo bit down gently on one nipple, Grant gasped, “Door. Locked.”
Leo hopped up, pulled Grant’s pants off, and threw them to the floor, not taking his eyes from Grant sprawled naked on the bed as he locked the door and moved a chair in front of it, too, for good measure.
Leo came back to straddle Grant, mouthing his neck, and sucking gently on an earlobe. Gra
nt squirmed and laughed at the hot breath in his ear.
Leo blinked slowly, looking hesitant as he spoke. “So, the other night I told you I wanted to try something, and then my never ending life drama got in the way and we never did. But we’re finally alone again, so we could do it now. I mean, if you still want to, that is. I mean, I still want to, but if you’ve changed your mind or—”
“Oh, I still want to.” Grant rolled Leo onto his back, brushed the hair off his face, and looked down at him for a long time. “Are you sure? Tonight? You’ve had an emotional evening. We can wait.”
“No, please, Grant. I’ve waited so long. You have no idea how much I want this,” Leo said, his eyes earnest. So damn earnest.
“Tell me what you want.”
Grant wanted to hear him say it. Leo almost never said ‘fuck’. Grant didn’t think he’d ever heard Leo say it at all before the previous night, and just imagining the word come out of Leo’s mouth made Grant’s gut curl with lust.
“I want you,” Leo said, reaching down to grab Grant’s cock.
Grant smirked, and put his hand over Leo’s, making Leo grip him even harder. “Say it. Just like you did last night.”
“I want you to fuck me,” Leo whispered, and Grant flared with want.
He climbed on top of Leo, holding his hands down against the bed, and said, “Say it again.”
“Fuck me,” Leo said.
“Again.” He wanted Leo to beg for it, for him to tremble and shake, and beg to have Grant’s cock in him.
Leo squirmed desperately under Grant, pushing his hips up against Grant’s, and begging with his body. Close, so close to what Grant wanted. “Tell me again, Leo. I want to hear how much you want it.”
Leo grabbed handfuls of Grant’s hair, and gazed up at him. “Please, Grant. Fuck me. Please.”
It was perfect, just what Grant wanted, and he rewarded Leo by slapping his hip hard, and then soothing the mark by rubbing it.
“Grant, please. Please fuck me,” Leo said again.
“Shhh,” Grant said kissing him. Leo’s lips were so soft, and Grant sucked the lower one into his mouth, and then deepened the kiss.
Leo arched under him, scrambling to jerk his sweat pants down, as Grant continued to kiss him, until Grant pulled away to push Leo’s shirt up and away, as Leo kicked his sweats off the bed.
“Grant,” Leo said, panting.
“Yeah?” Grant asked, pushing Leo back onto the bed, and running his hands over the body he’d come to know well, feeling the outline of Leo’s heart transplant scar, and running his fingers down Leo’s arm, avoiding touching the AV fistula.
“This isn’t make-up sex,” Leo said, urgently. “Okay? Do you understand? That’s not what I want this to be.”
Grant huffed a small laugh, and said, “Fine by me.”
Leo relaxed back onto the bed, comforted by the clarification, and he whispered, “I want this because I love you.”
Grant let out a low growl and whispered, “I love you, too.”
“Was that special enough?” Leo laughed.
“No midnight picnic in a rose garden, but I’ll take it,” Grant said, and he knew he was smiling like a loon.
“Good,” Leo said. “Because it’s true, and I’m ready. So.” He looked at Grant expectantly. “Get on with it.”
Grant shook his head and couldn’t stop from laughing. “It’s gonna take a bit more than that. Where’s the lube?” Though he knew exactly where it was. He opened the drawer beside the bed, bringing out the lubrication and the condoms Leo had shown him “Just in case”, he’d said at the time.
“Do we need these?” Leo asked, picking up the box of condoms. “I know I’m okay.”
Grant also knew that Leo was okay. He’d seen Leo’s medical records, after all.
As for himself, even when Leo first arrived in town, it’d been a few months since he’d hooked-up with anyone. Easy tail was hard to come by in Blountville, and required some special planning to avoid the uncomfortable and frustrating scenario he’d faced when a young Grindr hookup whom he’d brought home to fuck, decided they were boyfriends and followed him around town.
But Grant was STD-free. He tested. Regularly. And he’d always been careful. Except that first time, years ago, when he’d been too young, too horny, and too scared the guy would leave before the deed could be done to insist on it. But, yes, he was fine.
“Yeah, I’m sure, too. We don’t need them,” Grant said.
Leo chucked the box to the floor and his eyes lit up. “Okay then.”
Grant whispered, “Done it like this before? Without anything?”
Leo shook his head, a mix of bashful and pure lust on his face. Grant lay down on top of Leo, covering him with his body, rolling his hips so that their cocks pressed together.
He ran his hands over Leo’s hair, as he gazed down into Leo’s eyes. “You are so hot,” Grant said. “Do you have any idea how hot you make me?”
Leo’s smile was liquid and sweet, and he said, “Yeah. I make you pretty hot.”
“Mmm,” Grant turned Leo’s head to the side and kissed his cheek, the side of his mouth, his ear, and breathed in the scent of his neck. Then he turned Leo’s head and did the same to the other side. It was tender, and necessary, and he had to take care, make sure that Leo felt how much he wanted him, how much he felt.
Grant grabbed Leo’s hands, careful of the forearm where the fistula went in, and pushed them down against the bed, forcing them back a little, and Leo’s eyes went dark with want.
“We’re going to do this my way, and I promise, Leo, I’ll take care of you. You can tell me to stop at any point. I won’t be upset. I want you to want this as much as I do.”
“I do,” Leo breathed. “Come on, Grant. Come on and do it already.”
Leo’s mouth was like the sea, wet and beautiful. Grant dove in for more as he moved down Leo’s body, licking his cock, sucking him and watching Leo squirm; he took his time, letting Leo’s body and reactions move and direct the flow between them.
Leo’s ass was gorgeous and Grant loved to eat it, loved to stick his tongue in until Leo was a sobbing, aching, squirming mess on the bed. He loved to bite at Leo’s hole and nip at his balls until Leo alternately stuck his ass out and scrambled to get away. He loved how Leo whimpered, “Grant, Grant, oh, God, Grant,” either way.
It took awhile to get Leo ready, to get his ass wet enough, and loose enough that Grant would even consider putting more than lubed fingers inside. Leo was gorgeous, spread out on the bed like an offering, and Grant’s fingers stroked in and out, fast and slow, keeping Leo on edge. He ran his hand up and down Leo’s thigh, up to his chest and back down again, soothing him, talking to him. “I’ve got you, Leo. Shh, now. That’s it. You’re okay.”
Leo was sweating, wet hair around his face, and his eyes burned with lust every time he opened them to stare at Grant. Leo humped Grant’s fingers, twisting on them, begging with his body and his mouth. “Please, Grant. Please. I need you.”
It was good enough. Grant lubed up his cock and climbed between Leo’s legs, he bent down for a kiss, and Leo nearly sobbed into his mouth, begging him to go on, whispering and kissing him, alternating pleas with urgent lifts of his hips, trying to get Grant’s cock closer to his ass.
Grant pushed Leo’s legs up, rubbing his cock in Leo’s lubed crack, feeling it slide over Leo’s hole. Anticipating the push inside, he was gratified that Leo was so ready that he was grabbing for it with his body, arching up, pressing his hands against Grant’s ass, trying to drag him inside.
Grant gazed down at Leo’s face, wanting to see as he lined up, pressed in and down. And fuck, Leo was tight, so tight. But his sweet moan and the expression of awe on his face told Grant that it was good, and that if it hurt at all, it was a good hurt. Grant clenched his jaw, took hold of Leo’s fingers with his free hand, and whispered, “Just breathe for me now.”
Leo whimpered and took a breath, and on the exhale Grant pushed. Both of them g
asped, clutching each other as Leo opened up and took him in. He was velvet hot and so tight inside. Grant bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from thrusting, wanting more, wanting it all now. He was shocked at how good it felt, how much better without a condom—wet, and raw, and somehow pure.
“Oh,” Leo said, shocked. There no pain or pleasure in his tone, but just surprise. When Grant pushed a little more, sliding further past the tight ring of Leo’s asshole, Leo’s eyes rolled up and his noise turned into a drawn out, “Ooooh.” He grabbed Grant’s arms and stilled him. “Oh, my God,” he whimpered.
“It’s a lot of sensation,” Grant whispered. “You okay?”
Leo nodded, his eyes squeezed shut, and then he opened them, staring up at Grant in wide surprise. “It’s good. I’m okay, Grant. You feel so good.”
Grant moved slowly, pumping in and out, going deeper with each thrust. Leo’s body seemed to melt under him, taking him more and more easily, until Leo was moving his hips along with him, taking him in, and squeezing Grant as he pulled out. He whimpered, clutching at Grant’s ass, pulling him in, tighter, deeper, struggling to keep him there longer. It became a heated push and pull of Grant trying to fuck Leo, and Leo trying to keep Grant as far inside him as he could manage.
“This is…oh, Grant,” Leo murmured, his body arching greedily, his eyes rolling back, his toes curling and uncurling as Grant moved against him.
Grant needed to take control, though. The grappling was hot, and it was good, but he wanted to show Leo what it could feel like, how it could be. He backed off, taking hold of Leo’s hands when he tried to grab him back again. “Hold on, Leo. I’ve got you. Trust me.”
Leo eased against the mattress, though his entire body seemed to jitter with want as Grant moved Leo’s legs up to his shoulders. He grabbed Leo’s hands and held them down on the pillow, watching closely as he started to move again. Thrusting hard, moving fast, Grant moaned with desire. Leo’s face crumpled in pleasure, his mouth opened in a round O, and his body tensed and relaxed with each thrust. Grant licked his lips, looking down to see Leo’s cock spill slick strings of pre-come between them.
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