I check the time. They’re late.
‘Rehana and George aren’t here,’ I hiss at Nicky. She’s been chatting to Neal and Bea while I’ve been mingling and although I don’t want to pull her away from Neal, I’m feeling pretty desperate. ‘What am I going to do?’
‘You’ll have to go ahead without them,’ Nicky says. ‘At least the male to female ratio is even.’
‘But I’ve promised everybody five dates, not four.’ This is a disaster. My first event hasn’t even started yet and it’s hit a snag.
‘Relax.’ Nicky takes me by the shoulders and takes a deep breath in through her nose, allowing it to leave slowly through her mouth. I copy the action but rather than calming me, it just makes me light-headed.
‘I can’t relax.’ I bat her hands away. ‘I need to think of a solution, and fast. We’re already running late.’
Nicky purses her lips and then her eyes light up. ‘Neal and I can make up the numbers. I’ve been secretly eyeing up the Black Forest trifles anyway.’ Eyeing up our journalist friend, more like, but I don’t say anything as the door opens and Rehana rushes into the teashop. While I’m mightily relieved, Nicky looks disappointed by her arrival.
‘Where have you been?’ I ask Rehana, keeping my voice low so the others don’t realise anything is amiss.
‘I’ve been rock-paper-scissoring with George,’ Rehana explains, which makes no sense at all. My frown relays this information to Rehana, prompting her to elaborate. ‘We didn’t think this through. Both of us agreed to take part this week but neither of us wants to date the other.’ She pulls a face. ‘It’d be like dating my brother.’ She shudders. ‘So we had to decide who should come tonight.’
‘And you didn’t think to tell me about this problem any sooner?’ If I’d had more time, I could have organised someone else to take George’s place from the list. It won’t look very professional if I start ringing around now on the off-chance one of the singletons doesn’t have plans on a Friday night. Plus, I’m pretty sure the further delay wouldn’t go down too well with the others waiting in the teashop for their dates and desserts.
‘Sorry.’ Rehana shrugs and I’m overcome with the urge to give her a hard, soap-style slap across the face. I’m not usually a violent person, but Rehana and George’s antics are tempting me over to the dark side.
‘What’s going on?’ Nicky asks, so I explain about the Rehana/George situation. ‘So you only need one more bloke to make up the numbers. Why don’t you ask Neal to step in?’
‘I can’t do that.’ I point at Neal, who is still chatting with Bea. ‘His sister’s taking part. That’d be way worse than Rehana and George dating.’
Rehana opens her mouth to disagree, but I flash her an icy glare and she shuts it again.
‘How about Caleb?’ Nicky suggests.
My eyes travel across the teashop to where Caleb is chatting with one of the college students. Stretching my mouth into its most beguiling smile, I sidle over to plead my case.
‘No way.’ Caleb gives his head a firm shake at my request. ‘I can’t.’
‘Why not?’ I ask. ‘You’ve done it before. This will be the same.’
Caleb shakes his head again. ‘It isn’t the same at all. At the trial, we all knew it wasn’t real, that it was just a run-through. Plus, I was single back then.’
‘And now you’re not.’ I can feel a humongous smile spreading across my face, stretching until my teeth are on display. I probably resemble the Cheshire cat but I don’t care. Caleb and I haven’t talked about any formal labels for our relationship, but he’s practically just changed his Facebook status to ‘in a relationship’. With me!
‘I’d like to think I’m not,’ Caleb says.
‘I’d like to think that too,’ I manage to say through my toothy grin. The only problem is, Caleb is right. I can’t send him into The Sweetest Kiss under the pretence of being a single bloke. But then there’s only one other single bloke not currently taking part …
‘Hello and welcome to The Sweetest Kiss.’ I’m a trembling bag of nerves as I address the dating hopefuls before me. After a ton of negotiation, Neal has thankfully agreed to step into George’s shoes so we can finally begin. Bea, as compensation for dating four men instead of five, has accepted a free pass for another Sweetest Kiss night, plus oodles of cake to sweeten the deal. ‘I’m just going to run through the evening’s format and then we’ll begin.’ Luckily, I’ve made notes as I’m so nervous, my brain wouldn’t have been able to convey the rules of speed dating. I doubt I could have recalled my own name unprompted.
Once I’ve made the rules clear and I’ve assigned everybody with a numbered sticker, the women all take their places at the relevant table before the men sit opposite their first date of the evening. Nicky, Caleb and I distribute the trifles and discreetly move aside so the fifteen-minute date can begin. Neal’s first date is with Imogen and I can see Nicky watching them, searching for any sign of attraction. I recall Neal ticked Imogen’s name during the trial run, but although the date seems to be going well enough, I’m relieved to note it isn’t overly flirtatious. I’m not sure Nicky could cope with seeing the man of her affections being charmed by another woman up close.
I take a look around at the other participants, who mostly seem to be getting along great. Bea is giggling at something Krishna has said, Tay looks completely smitten with Zoe, and Olivia is definitely flashing some positive vibes at Robbie. It’s only Rehana and Little Jordan who seem to be having problems as Rehana sits with her arms folded across her chest as she shoots Little Jordan a challenging look, as though daring him to break the stony silence that envelops their table.
‘How do you think it’s going?’ I whisper to Nicky once we’ve distributed the next set of desserts for round two.
‘Great,’ Nicky says, her eyes falling on Neal. ‘He wasn’t really flirty with Imogen and there’s more of a spark between Neal and Bea than there is between him and Zoe right now.’
I actually meant how is The Sweetest Kiss going, but whatever.
My own eyes wander to Neal and Zoe. They’re laughing about something, but Zoe’s laugh is too rumbly to be considered flirtatious. Surely she’d be girlishly giggling if she was interested. My eyes wander to the next table, where Bea is chatting animatedly with Tay, but it’s the next table that holds my interest. Rehana, who had spent her date with Little Jordan looking surly, is now licking the mousse off her spoon suggestively while keeping eye contact with Krishna. Her face falls when I ring the bell to signal the end of round two.
The rest of the evening runs smoothly and each participant hands in their completed scorecard before they leave. I take the cards into the office and have a quick look. Neal’s card, I’m surprised to see, is completely blank, though he has ticks from both Imogen and Olivia. There are three matches: Zoe is matched with Tay, and Bea is matched with both Krishna and Little Jordan. I’ll contact them tomorrow via text so they can arrange to see each other again. It’s no surprise that Rehana has put a giant tick against Krishna’s name, but she’ll be disappointed that he hasn’t reciprocated.
‘That went well,’ Caleb says, joining me in the office.
‘It did. Thanks for stepping in and taking the photos for Neal. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t helped out. I was worried the first night was going to be a major flop.’
‘I’m sorry I couldn’t take part,’ Caleb says. ‘But it wouldn’t have been right to dupe those women into thinking they were getting five dates. Plus, it feels wrong to even pretend to date another woman. I don’t want to eat cake with anybody but you.’ Caleb takes a step towards me and my heart starts thumping. This is it, it thinks, he’s going to kiss you now. I place the scorecards on the desk and stand up to meet Caleb. He smiles at me and I close my eyes, totally ready for this kiss. Totally wanting this kiss.
But it doesn’t happen. Caleb’s mobile starts ringing, interrupting the moment.
Caleb groans. ‘Sorry. It’s Mum.’
‘It’s fine,’ I say. ‘Take it. I need to clear everything up anyway.’ I make a dash from the office as Caleb answers the phone. I start to switch off the lamps, boxing them up and placing them on the counter. Nicky and Neal help out, gathering tablecloths and stray dishes so that by the time Caleb returns from the office, the teashop is pretty much back to normal.
‘Everything okay?’ Neal asks Caleb as Nicky and I carry the lamps into the office to store away until next week.
‘Just Mum fussing,’ Caleb says as I pass. ‘She’s worried about Nan and this bloke she’s seeing. He’s a bit of an arsehole to be honest, but Nan’s more than capable of looking after herself.’
I pause, my mouth slowly opening until it’s a dark, gaping hole. I couldn’t have heard that right. Caleb didn’t just call Dad an arsehole, did he?
‘What’s up with him?’ Neal asks, oblivious to me hovering behind them.
‘Nothing major,’ Caleb says. ‘He can be a bit of a miserable git, that’s all. I can’t see them working out for long, but it isn’t my place to say anything.’
And yet here he is, saying it. Slagging off my dad. In front of me. Do I say anything? Let him know I’ve overheard? Or do I wimp out and scuttle off to the office?
‘Where shall I put the lamps?’ Nicky asks when I creep into the office.
I am a wimp. A wuss. A complete yellow-livered coward. I’ve never been any good at confrontation and today is no exception.
‘Just in here.’ I sidestep bags of flour and open the small cupboard at the back of the office, where we store the lamps. Nicky is chatting away but I’m not really listening. What have I done? I thought I knew Caleb well enough, thought that he was sweet, thoughtful and caring, but he’s none of the above. Why have I allowed myself to get swept away, opening myself up to be hurt again? Didn’t Joel teach me anything? Caleb and I were hardly heading down the aisle, but I’d allowed myself to hope that this was the beginning of something and now all my hopes have been dashed. Again. I feel like such a fool.
‘Yoo-hoo!’ Nicky waves a hand in front of my face. ‘You okay, hun?’
‘Sorry?’ I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts away and bring me back to the office and the conversation Nicky is trying to have with me.
‘I said we should go out for a celebratory drink once we’ve finished, but you were away with the fairies.’
‘Sorry.’ I give my head another quick shake. ‘I’m really tired. It’s been a long day. Do you mind if I pass? I’ve got an early start in the morning.’
‘Oh.’ Nicky’s face falls. ‘I was hoping to seduce Neal tonight.’
‘Go for it,’ I say. ‘There’s no reason you can’t go out.’
‘Are you sure?’ Nicky asks.
‘Of course. Go out. Have fun. Seduce.’
Nicky laughs. ‘Wish me luck.’ She blows me a kiss before she skips away. I hear the sounds of people leaving after a few minutes so I tiptoe out of the office. I’m hoping the teashop will be empty, but of course Caleb is waiting for me. As far as he’s aware, everything is as rosy as it was half an hour ago.
‘Nicky says you didn’t want to go out for a drink,’ he says. ‘Want some company here instead?’ He steps towards me, but this time my heart isn’t thumping. It’s sinking, right down to my toes. I can’t even look at Caleb right now, let alone kiss him.
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ I manage to say. My chest is tight with disappointment and I’m pretty sure there’s a flood of tears just around the corner. I will myself to rein them in until I’m on my own.
‘Okay.’ Caleb grabs his jacket, which he draped over the back of a chair earlier. ‘I’ll let you rest then and I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ve promised to take Cara to the zoo but I’ll try and pop in before Victoria’s gig.’
I shake my head and take as deep a breath as my restricted chest will allow. I can’t do this. I can’t pretend everything is okay. I thought moving on with Caleb was a good idea, but I can’t be with someone – however casually – if they think it’s acceptable to speak about my dad like that, whether I’m in hearing distance or not.
‘I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to see each other any more,’ I tell Caleb, somehow managing to keep my voice even. ‘I can’t see us working out for long.’ I meet Caleb’s gaze, hoping the meaning of those last few words will sink in and he’ll realise I overheard him calling my dad an arsehole and a miserable git. But my point doesn’t seem to register. Instead of understanding, there is only confusion in Caleb’s eyes.
‘You don’t?’ Caleb takes a step towards me but I hold my hands up to stop him coming any closer. ‘And you’re not even going to give us a chance?’
I’ll give us as much chance as you gave my dad, I think bitterly, but I wimp out and don’t say it out loud.
‘No. There doesn’t seem much point,’ I say instead.
Caleb frowns. ‘Why are you saying this now? We were fine a few minutes ago and now …’ He throws his arms up, not understanding why I’ve had a sudden change of heart.
‘I heard you,’ I say. ‘After your phone call with your mum, when you were talking to Neal.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Caleb asks, which only enrages me more as I’ll be forced to spell it out for him. I’d much rather we called it a day right now and went our separate ways. I’m not one for making a fuss and this is making me extremely uncomfortable.
‘Do the words “he’s an arsehole” and “a bit of a miserable git” ring any bells?’ I ask.
‘Yeah, but …’ Caleb shrugs. ‘So what?’
So what? So what?
‘I think you should go,’ I say, clasping my hands together so he can’t see how much they’re trembling.
‘Maddie, wait. Just explain …’
I don’t listen to Caleb. I march towards the door and swing it open with so much force I’m surprised it’s still hanging from its hinges.
‘Just go!’ I roar, shocking us both. Caleb, wary eyes still on me, moves towards the door. He gives me one last pleading look as he steps over the threshold, but I simply close the door and walk away.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
I don’t spring out of bed this morning. I can barely summon the enthusiasm to simply roll from beneath the sheets, though I’m not quite sure why I’m feeling so melancholy until my brain manages to wake up fully and remind me. It all comes rushing back then, unabashed and without hesitation. Caleb. The crushing disappointment that we aren’t meant to be. The realisation that I brought all of this on myself by dismantling the brick wall that has been protecting me for the past year.
I’ve heard far worse said about myself or loved ones in the past, but it wasn’t the words themselves that hurt, it was the nature of them. Caleb has never had a bad word to say about Dad, but as soon as his back’s turned, he’s slagging him off. It isn’t right and I won’t be with a man who disrespects my family like that. Especially when we’ve only been on one date. Hating the in-laws isn’t supposed to happen this early on in a relationship, and not when it isn’t justified. I may be biased, but Dad isn’t an arsehole and he isn’t a miserable git. He’s a good bloke and I’m greatly offended on his behalf. My hackles have risen and there won’t be any lowering of them where Caleb is concerned.
But I can’t lie here feeling sorry for myself (and Dad). Forcing myself from the covers, I shuffle into the bathroom and turn on the shower. The hot water does nothing to soothe my downhearted mood and neither, it seems, does an hour or two of baking. I knock out batches of croissants, cinnamon buns and raspberry and white chocolate muffins, but I’m still feeling down in the dumps. I prepare batter for pancakes and waffles, make dough to roll, cut and bake into gingerbread men later, and I’m still to be cheered. I even resort to baking my fail-proof fairy cakes with rainbow sprinkles, but I can’t seem to shift the brooding clouds.
‘So tell me about last night,’ Mags says when she arrives just before eight. She shrugs off her jacket and pops an apron on.
>
‘Last night?’ Is it that obvious that something happened?
‘The Sweetest Kiss,’ Mags says, a slight frown pushing itself into her features. ‘How did it go?’
‘Oh.’ I nod, overenthusiastically. ‘Really well. George dropped out at the last minute, but we managed to save the night. Everyone had a great time, I think. There were three matches, which is pretty good. I’ll text the matches around lunchtime. I don’t want to disturb anyone on a Saturday morning.’
Mags cocks her head to one side. ‘Something else happened.’
‘Did it?’ I’m stalling for time. We both know I’m not my usual chirpy self and I’ve started to babble.
‘What is it?’ Mags reaches out a hand, resting it on my forearm. ‘Did that ex of yours turn up again?’ I shake my head. Joel, I now know, I could have dealt with. That’s something to be taken away from this whole experience, at least. ‘Then what is it?’
I grab a raspberry and white chocolate muffin, because a morning like this needs a good, sugary hit. ‘Caleb and I aren’t going to see each other any more.’ I break off a chunk of the muffin and pop it into my mouth. It’s soft and sweet but it isn’t enough to stop my eyes from filling up.
‘Oh, sweetheart.’ Mags wraps her arms around me and pulls me to her bosom in a proper mum-style hug. ‘What happened?’
I tell Mags about Caleb’s observations about Dad and she is suitably shocked.
‘He said that? About your dad? But Clive is lovely.’ She shakes her head. ‘I really don’t understand. Did you talk to him about it?’
‘Not really. I threw him out before he could come up with any lame excuses.’ I pop another chunk of muffin into my mouth, chewing slowly.
‘Then how do you know you haven’t ended up with the wrong end of the stick?’
‘There is no wrong end of the stick,’ I tell Mags. ‘I heard him say that his nan’s new boyfriend was an arsehole and a “bit of a miserable git”.’ I use a suitably mocking tone for the last bit.
The Little Teashop of Broken Hearts Page 26