Right now Jackson didn’t care about the threats against Graysons’. Or the possibility of losing the dojo to Saunders’ redevelopment plans. Only one thing thundered through his head. “You leave Scarlett out of this, you prick.”
“So eloquent. Is that what Scarlett sees in you?”
“For God’s sake, Edward.” Scarlett’s agonized whisper tore through Jackson as she came to stand by his side. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t worry your pretty head about it, sweetheart.” Saunders spared Scarlett a brief glance and his patronizing tone scraped Jackson’s nerves like fingernails along a chalkboard. “The men are talking.”
“What?” Scarlett sounded more flabbergasted than furious.
Blood pounded against Jackson’s temples. No one spoke to Scarlett like that. No one.
“Why don’t you go find your father? I’ll be right along, sweetheart.”
She was not Saunders’ sweetheart.
“No, I’m not going anywhere.”
“It’s for your own good. Your father doesn’t want you associating with these kinds of people.” Saunders grabbed Scarlett’s arm and pulled her toward him.
What the hell did he think he was doing?
“Let go of her.” Jackson didn’t recognize his voice. But he recognized the fury bubbling deep in his gut.
Saunders ignored him. “Come with me, Scarlett.”
“Edward. You’re hurting me.”
You’re hurting me. Jackson was flung back in time, to when he and his brothers had huddled together on the top stair of their old house. Down in the kitchen their drunk father used his fists on their mom, while she cried and pleaded with him to stop.
You’re hurting me. He, Alex, and Cooper had stared at each other. They’d been too little to help. Too terrified to move. He hadn’t been able to help his mom. Hadn’t been able to defend Cooper.
He’d never had the chance to tell his father what he thought of him.
A red haze filled his vision. All he could see was Scarlett trying to free herself from Saunders’s grip, and the way the other man ignored her.
He didn’t have the words. He never had the fucking words. But even as the thought pounded through his mind, his fist connected with the other man’s face. Saunders dropped like a stone to the ground, blood dripping from his nose.
Scarlett’s horrified gasp slammed him back to the present. What the hell had he done? He unlocked his fist and flexed his fingers, and fought the suicidal urge to follow Saunders onto the ground and beat the fucking shit out of him.
From the corner of his eye he knew Scarlett’s family was moving toward them, like vultures drawn to a recent kill. But he couldn’t drag his gaze away from the man on the ground, or miss the hint of a triumphant smile that Saunders quickly hid.
“Blood will out.” Saunders’ voice was low, but the mocking tone was unmistakable. “Like father like son.”
It was a punch to the gut. He looked at Scarlett and she was staring at him, pale and wide-eyed, as though she had never seen him before. Something ugly twisted through his heart. Condemning glares burned through him from everyone, but none of them mattered.
Nothing mattered, except for the way Scarlett stood there, frozen in shock, because she had finally seen him for who he really was.
There was nothing Jackson could say to her. All his years of trying to bury his past, of trying to prove to himself that he was better than his father, had been destroyed with one angry punch.
No words could undo his actions. He didn’t have them in any case. Eloquence. That was something he’d never possessed.
All he possessed was the ability to settle a score with his fists.
A deathly silence had fallen. He had the insane vision of grabbing Scarlett’s hand and ripping her away from her family, from this life, from everything she had ever known.
To be with him.
What a fucking joke.
He turned and walked away. No one tried to stop him. No one said a word.
Not even Scarlett. Especially not Scarlett. And her silence cut through him more keenly than the knife that had once threatened his life.
Chapter Twenty
Scarlett watched Jackson turn and walk away from her. Without saying a word. But what could he say? That this was all her fault?
Guilt coiled through her. If she’d had the guts to tell Edward to back off weeks ago, this never would have happened.
She’d never forget the way Jackson had looked at her before he’d turned his back. There had been a strange blankness in his eyes, as though, finally, he’d seen her for what she really was.
A spineless coward. Too afraid to stand up for herself in case she upset her dad.
She let out a ragged breath and slowly turned back to Edward. He was laboriously getting to his feet, aided by a member of staff, and her entire family formed a giant semicircle around Edward and her, as though they were a shocking form of entertainment.
“I can’t apologize enough.” Edward dusted down his pants and addressed himself to her dad and uncle. The two men stood shoulder to shoulder, as they always did when they confronted the outside world.
Resentment stirred deep in her gut. They would take Edward’s side in this because Edward was related to Clarissa, and Clarissa was now an Ashford. And nobody fucked with the fucking Ashfords.
“What happened?” Her dad’s voice was deceptively calm, but she knew him too well to be fooled for a second. He was mad as hell.
“I don’t know.” Edward spread his hands in an expressive gesture of perplexity. “I was simply saying how I didn’t approve of the way he was using Scarlett for his own ends, and he attacked me without provocation.”
Everyone looked at her. Her face burned. Did they all know she had bought Jackson’s services for her father’s wedding? Did they all think she’d been paying him to sleep with her for the last month?
For a second the prospect paralyzed her. All her life she’d kept to the shadows, happy to stay out of the limelight and the gossip pages. Obscurity had been her refuge after her mom had died, and all she’d wanted ever since was for her dad to truly notice her again.
He was noticing her now. His entire attention was focused on her, despite the way Edward kept babbling on about what a loose cannon Jackson Grayson was, and how horribly worried he’d been about Scarlett’s wellbeing.
And then fury streaked through her, incinerating her shame. So the hell what if she had hired Jackson to be her own personal sex slave? It was nobody else’s business.
“Shut up.” She shot the words at Edward, and he shut up mid sentence, a look of astonishment on his face.
Everyone stared at her. She couldn’t have put herself more in the center of attention if she’d stripped naked and performed an erotic dance around the flagpole.
She didn’t care. Let them stare. She’d had enough of taking everyone’s crap.
“Scarlett, sweetheart.” Edward’s use of the endearment made her flesh crawl. “You must see what he’s like now. A man without integrity. You’d never be safe with him.”
A chill inched over her arms as Edward’s meaning finally clicked into place. He wasn’t acting this way simply because he felt slighted by her refusal to date him. It was all a ploy to try and get her father onside in his battle with Jackson over the redevelopment of Heyward Street.
She took a step toward him. “Jackson has more integrity than any other man I know.”
For a moment Edward’s mask slipped. He recovered instantly, and leaned in close. “Not by the time I’ve finished with him. I’ll sue his ass off for this assault, Scarlett. He’ll be lucky to keep a shirt on his back, never mind his precious slum.”
Scarlett hadn’t gotten involved in the family business by choice. But she’d lived on the sidelines her whole life. She knew how things worked. Knew who pulled the strings and which palms were regularly greased.
She never thought the day would come when she would be willing to use that information.
She tilted her head and looked Edward straight in the eye. “You do that.” There was a thread of steel in her voice, and it wasn’t just Edward who stiffened in shock. From the corner of her eye she saw her dad tense. “And I’ll ensure every official you’ve bribed so far is named and shamed. Don’t believe I can’t do it. It’s a juicy story just begging to be spilled.”
Silence thundered. It seemed her entire family held their collective breath, although surely it was impossible they had all heard her threat. Her chest tightened, suffocating her, and she abruptly turned away from the slack-jawed disbelief on Edward’s face.
She doubted he would sue Jackson. Not now. But if he did, she would follow through. Even if it meant fighting her father in the process.
The Ashford media empire might be the biggest dog in town. But it wasn’t the only one.
She kept her head up and spine straight as she stalked back to the house. Thank you boarding school. No one would guess that all she wanted to do was find a dark corner and hide.
Just like I always hide from everything. If she’d told Edward to fuck off, the way she’d wanted to earlier today, none of this would’ve happened. But it had. Jackson had left. And taken her heart with him.
Oh God. Her stomach churned and she blinked back the tears stinging her eyes. Why hadn’t she ever told him how much he meant to her? She thought they had plenty of time to talk about feelings. But there was never enough time for things that really mattered. Now she might never get the chance.
As she reached the house, her father called her name.
I’m not talking to you.
She increased her pace. Nothing mattered but finding Jackson and trying to… Trying to what? Persuade him she was worth taking a second chance on? Would he even want to see her again, never mind speak to her?
He’d worked so hard to put the violence of his past behind him. She couldn’t imagine how he must be feeling now.
I’m not responsible for Edward’s behavior. Would Jackson see that once he’d had time to think about it?
“Scarlett.” Her dad’s voice was right behind her. Why couldn’t he take a hint? She stopped by the open French doors, took a deep breath, and faced him.
“That was some performance.” His voice was level and she couldn’t see his eyes, hidden as they were behind designer shades.
Not that it mattered. His eyes would be as cold as the smiles he bestowed on her.
“That was no performance, Dad.” For ten years she had agreed with every word he said to her. For the last eighteen months she’d tiptoed around him, in fear for his life. But she had been wrong. Her father wasn’t a fragile flower clinging onto life by a slender thread. He had fully recovered his health and strength, and deep inside she’d always known it.
It had simply been another excuse to blind herself to the truth. To the fact that even in full health, he would rather keep her at arm’s length.
He pulled off his shades. It had to be a trick of the light, because it seemed a gleam of warmth lurked in his eyes.
“You told me it wasn’t serious between you and Grayson.”
“It wasn’t. But now it is.” Why had it taken something like this to make her see just how serious it was? Suppose Jackson hates me now?
“I warned you he could break your heart.” Was that a thread of sympathy in his voice? Surely not.
She folded her arms, couldn’t help herself, even though it told her father a whole lot more than any number of denials.
“He didn’t break my heart.” Not yet. But she had the despairing feeling that he might, and soon.
He didn’t say anything for a few moments. And then he gave her an odd look. “You reminded me so much of your mother just now, the way you stood up to Saunders like that.”
It was the last straw. She glared at him, and all the rejection and frustration she had buried over the last ten years bubbled to the surface.
“I’m not Mom, Dad. I never have been and I never will be. I can’t help the way I look.”
He frowned, but it wasn’t one of his dismissive, I-don’t-have-time-for-this-crap frowns. He seemed genuinely confused.
“I know you’re not your mom, honey. But you looked just like she did, that day she stood up to her dad and told him I was the only man for her.”
Scarlett knew all about that story. She wasn’t interested in going over ancient history and had no idea why her dad thought now was a great time to reminisce.
“Would it help if I dyed my hair red?” She grabbed a handful of her hair and waved it at him. “Or what about a nose job? Then could you stand to look at me for more than five minutes without wishing I was her?”
A stricken look flashed over his face. It was gone in an instant but it was enough to drive a shaft of guilt deep into Scarlett’s heart. She should apologize to him. But the words stuck in her throat.
Her dad wasn’t the only one who still missed having her mom around.
“I’ve never wished you were her.” There was a catch in her dad’s voice that was so unlike him Scarlett bit her lip and dropped her gaze. “But after she died I just didn’t know how to cope with you. You and your mom were always so close.”
“You didn’t have to pack me off to boarding school.” The accusation was out before she could stop it. But why shouldn’t she tell him how she felt about that? He had discarded her broken heart as though she was nothing but an inconvenience in his life.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was low and shock ricocheted through her. Marshall Ashford never apologized. He might issue retractions or withdraw thinly veiled allegations, but he never apologized. “It was wrong of me to send you away, Scarlett. And when you came back you were so distant I thought I’d lost you forever.”
She didn’t know what to say. Never in a million years had she dreamed of having a conversation like this with her dad. And all because she had publicly defended the man she loved. Because of course she loved Jackson. Guess I fell for him that very first night.
“You didn’t lose me.” How ironic that after so many years of wanting her dad to open up to her, now that he was, all she could think about was leaving to find Jackson.
Her dad caught sight of her arm and his expression hardened. She followed his gaze and saw bruises forming from where Edward had grabbed her.
“Don’t worry about Saunders.” There was a deadly note in her dad’s voice now. “He’s about to fall from a very great height.”
“I’m not worried about him. But Clarissa might not like his fall from grace.”
“I can handle Clarissa.”
She guessed he could. Why did I ever think Clarissa had the upper hand?
“I presume you’re off to find Grayson.”
Her stomach pitched with nerves. She had to find him. But she wasn’t exactly looking forward to the confrontation. What if he never wants to see me again?
“Yes. I don’t think I’ll be back for the fireworks.” If Jackson forgave her, she’d never expect him to spend time with her family again. And if he rejected her, there was no way she could face anyone tonight.
“About this redevelopment. Let me know what I can do to help Grayson.”
Scarlett stared at her dad in shock. Although his tone was casual, it wasn’t an offer made lightly. It was an olive branch. A tacit acceptance of Jackson in her life.
For a moment she was tempted. The Ashford pockets were infinitely deeper than anything Edward Saunders could lay his hands on. With the empire on Jackson’s side, he was guaranteed to win against the planned redevelopment.
But he wouldn’t want that. And the truth was—neither did she.
“Thanks.” She touched her dad’s hand and he caught her fingers and held onto them. “But no thanks, Dad. Jackson doesn’t need that kind of help. We’ll do it our way.”
We’ll do it our way. The words spun around her mind in a never ending loop as she drove away
from her dad’s. She’d do it any way Jackson wanted, if only he gave her the chance to make things right with him.
But first she had to find him.
He wasn’t at his house or the Graysons’ office. At least, she couldn’t see his car anywhere and there was no answer when she rang the entry bell. She sat back in her car and gripped the steering wheel.
She could call him. It was the obvious answer. But she had the feeling he wouldn’t pick up. And although she could send him a text, that was taking the easy way out.
She was done with taking the easy way out. He could be anywhere. The chances of her finding him weren’t great. There was only one other place she knew of where he might likely be. His dojo.
She took a deep breath, which did nothing to calm the nerves churning her stomach, and pulled out onto the road.
Chapter Twenty-One
In the gloom of his office at his dojo, Jackson popped the cap on the third and final bottle of beer that had been stashed in the trunk of his car. It wasn’t nearly enough to give him a buzz, let alone dissolve the hard rock lodged in his chest, but there were no shops open locally to buy some more.
It was going to be a very long, shitty night.
Sprawled in his chair, one foot propped on an open desk drawer, he contemplated the framed certificates on the wall. He’d worked so damn hard to channel his anger and curb his instinct to use his fists. Passing each grade had given him a quiet sense of pride, and the conviction he was able to leave his past behind him.
To leave his father’s shadow behind him.
But he couldn’t. Because that darkness was inside him, and it had cost him the woman he wanted most in the world.
Someone knocked on the front door. He ignored it and took a long swallow of warm beer. The dojo was shut. Any fool could see that.
The fool knocked again, harder this time, and then followed it up by rapping on the front window with what sounded suspiciously like keys.
A dull sense of anger washed through him. All he wanted was to be left alone to wallow. Except he didn’t have enough booze on hand to wallow in, which was a major pain in the ass. He scowled and pushed himself to his feet. Whoever was at the door had better be ready to run.
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