“I don’t want breakfast. Honestly, I want to go, Kinsley.”
“Riles, are you–”
“I don’t think you’re ready for this. You’re worried I’m not. You’re still afraid I’m not over Elena, but it’s not me that’s the problem here, Kinsley. I don’t think you’re ready.”
Kinsley moved toward her. Riley moved around and past her toward the door.
“Riley, let’s just talk.”
“You didn’t want to talk yesterday, when I was trying to explain Elena’s presence in my apartment,” Riley said. “So, I’m not really ready to talk to you right now.”
“Are we just fighting or are we over?” Kinsley asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I don’t know,” Riley replied with a sigh. “I do know that I am angry with you, and I don’t want to be here right now. I’m going to go home and make sure Elena is gone.”
“I guess I’ll just see you when I see you, then,” Kinsley replied.
“Don’t get passive-aggressive on me, Kinsley.” Riley turned back to her. “Even though I’m not a fan of your anger when directed toward me, it’s still better than you pretending you don’t care that I’m walking out right now. I know you care. Don’t pretend otherwise.”
Riley walked out of the bedroom. Kinsley flopped down onto the end of her bed.
“I love you,” Kinsley muttered to herself.
◆◆◆
“You’re still here? Are you freaking kidding me, Elena?” Riley tossed her bag onto the floor.
“I’m leaving.” Elena held up her hands. “I’m only still here because I wanted to apologize to you,” she said.
Riley sat on her sofa and glared up at her ex-girlfriend.
“Apologize for asking me–”
“I called my sister. She told me what an idiot I am.” Elena sat next to her. “She said I was the dumbest smart person she knows, and then she yelled at me.”
“I’ve always liked Margie,” Riley replied.
“Better than me, I think.”
“Different than you.”
“I wanted too much, Riley. I’m sorry that it’s impacted you. I never meant for it to become an issue between us, or for it to cause us to…”
“I know,” Riley said. “And I appreciate the apology.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way… I get that you’re unavailable now. I just want to make sure I’m not crazy.” She paused while Riley stared at her in confusion. “We were good together once, weren’t we?”
“We were.” Riley nodded. “We just grew apart instead of together.”
“And you think you’ll grow together with Kinsley?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think anyone ever knows for sure.”
“But you’d like to grow with her?” Elena asked.
“If she gives me the chance,” she replied.
“She’s mad at you because of me, isn’t she?”
“Yes, but she’s not really mad. She’s jealous, I think.”
“And you told her–”
“That it’s over between us. And she still thinks something’s going to happen.”
“Sounds like she’s protecting herself,” Elena suggested. “We’ve all been there.”
“Elena, she has no reason to protect herself from me. I’m her girlfriend.” She turned to Elena on the sofa.
“That’s usually just the person we need to protect ourselves from, though, Riley.”
“You’re supposed to trust the person you’re with,” Riley argued.
“And while you yelled at me and definitely told me we were done, you also still allowed me to stay in your apartment, failed to take back your key, and flew to Dallas to check on Margie when I called with the emergency.”
“You–”
“I did all those things. I know. I did them in part because I wanted you back and, in part, because I selfishly wanted to try to destroy your budding relationship with Kinsley.” She paused. “I’m ashamed of myself now, and I truly apologize to you, Riley. All I’m saying is that while you say we’re over, you still let me stay here. I’m still sitting on your sofa. I can understand why she might still be worried that it’s not completely over between us. Three years is a long time, Riley. We were planning to buy a house together. She was supposed to be our real estate agent, remember?”
“How are you suddenly on Kinsley’s side?” Riley asked with a light smile.
“I’m not. I’m just trying to be on your side instead of my own now. I’ve caused a lot of problems in your life. I’m sorry. I do think you really like her, though. It’s obvious she feels the same. If you and I are over, I still want you to find someone who can make you happy, Riley.”
“She makes me frustrated most of the time these days,” Riley replied.
“That’s part of it, too, I think.” Elena stood. “I used to frustrate the hell out of you.”
“You still do,” Riley said with a playful shove to Elena’s knee.
“I’m staying at the Camden, under Margie’s name. I have a flight for tomorrow. Then, I’ll be out of your life. I still hope you’ll call Margie from time to time, though. You broke up with me, but she still loves you.”
“I will. Margie’s like a sister to me,” Riley replied.
“Good. She’ll be glad to hear it,” Elena said. “I should get going.”
“I appreciate the apology, Elena.” Riley stood.
“It was long overdue, I think.” She nodded.
“What are you going to do about the election?” Riley asked as she followed Elena toward the front door of the apartment, her luggage in hand.
“I’ve made a decision.” She exhaled deeply. “I’m going to run. I’m going to run as a single, late-in-life lesbian, get completely trounced on, but try to keep as much of my dignity as possible.”
Riley chuckled and said, “I think that’s a good idea. It’s about time you’re yourself, Elena.”
“I guess so. After I lose, I’ll go back to practicing law in my tiny town. Who knows? Maybe you and I will run into one another on a case one day, just like when we first met.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope not.” Riley smiled at her.
◆◆◆
Kinsley was exhausted. Her body ached. She groaned at herself as she poured cream into her cup of coffee at the little station on the other side of her office. She’d gotten the thing for clients, along with a mini-fridge filled with some soda, bottled water, and light snacks. Normally, she’d get her coffee from home, the café, or recently, from her girlfriend’s mid-morning deliveries. She stretched her neck to try to ease the ache from the hard labor she’d put her body through in an attempt to distract herself from her fight with Riley.
She had called Riley a few times. She’d texted and left voicemails. She’d driven by Riley’s apartment that morning and hadn’t found her car. The woman was probably already at the office. Kinsley knew she needed to do something. She was the one that had caused this problem between them. Hell, she was the one that had continued to cause this problem between them. She sat back down at her desk and brought up her calendar. She needed to find time to get out of the office and go find her girlfriend. When she looked at the door the moment the bell chimed, she saw a surprising visitor.
“Elena?” Kinsley stared at the woman who stood in front of her door.
“Hello, Kinsley,” Elena replied, holding her bag in front of her. “I hope you don’t mind me stopping by.”
“I do, actually,” Kinsley replied defensively.
“I’m here for two reasons; one is less selfish than the other. Would you care to hear them both or just the one about you and Riley?”
Kinsley was confused. Elena moved to sit in one of her guest chairs, as if Kinsley had invited her to stay. Kinsley turned her aching body toward the woman who always seemed so put-together, even though her life seemed to possibly be falling apart.
“I have a client coming in soon,” Kinsley changed the subject.
/> “Then, I won’t keep you.” Elena gripped her bag in her lap with both hands. “I wanted to apologize to you. I’ve already apologized to Riley.”
“Apologize to me?”
Elena cleared her throat and replied, “Yes. I seemed to have made a fool of myself in trying to get Riley to give me another chance. In doing that, I believe, I have caused problems in your relationship.” She paused and lowered her eyes. “I love Riley Sanders. Since I met her, I’ve loved her. She showed me that I could be myself and be loved in return.” The woman looked back up to meet Kinsley’s eyes. “I squandered that love by putting my aspirations over my relationship. That’s something I’ll have to live with my whole life.” She turned her head toward the window. “I am also sorry about that.” She pointed.
“What’s going on?” Kinsley asked when she turned her head to see a few cameras and people with microphones.
“They’ve found me.”
“Who?”
“The press.” Elena turned back to her and shrugged. “I noticed a few vans following me on my way here. That’s my other apology. I’m sorry they’re here. I’m sure they’ll follow me when I leave, though.”
“Does this have anything to do with–”
“Running for governor? Yes. But, I’m guessing, it would have more to do with me running for governor as an out lesbian. You know what I asked of Riley, don’t you?”
“To be your fake girlfriend while you run?” Kinsley leaned forward, suddenly tenser than she had been from hours of manual labor.
“It was foolish and cowardly of me to ask her that. I wanted someone by my side. But I realize now she’ll be standing by your side.” She nodded in Kinsley’s direction. “I’m backing off now, Kinsley. Not that I needed to, though; Riley is already yours. I can see that plain as day.” She paused when a few flashes went off outside the window. “I’ll have to explain all this to those people outside, one day soon. But today, I just need to make it to the hotel, lock myself in, and catch a flight tomorrow.”
“And you’ll tell them you’re not with Riley anymore?”
“I will. But, Kinsley, as much as it hurts me to say this, Riley is in love with you. I have this feeling that if I kept trying to win her back, it wouldn’t matter. I could hire a skywriter, have flowers delivered every day to her office, build her dream house with my bare hands, and she’d still choose you.” The woman stood, still clasping her bag in both hands. “Don’t squander it, like I did. Whatever you’re worried about, whatever issues you have, put them aside. Love her and let her love you.” She turned to go but turned back quickly. “There wouldn’t happen to be a back entrance to this place, would there?”
CHAPTER 27
Riley left the courthouse after spending the past few hours trying to get one client a restraining order and another client custody of her two young children. She’d been successful on both accounts and was feeling pretty good about herself, when she remembered she was still in a fight with Kinsley. Nothing deflated one’s professional achievements faster than the reminder that their personal life had things that needed to be worked out. Her smile dimmed even further when she noticed the press had gathered on the stairs. She tried to think of a high-profile case going on that would have them all here. Then, she remembered Elena’s warning. Once a few of the reporters noticed her, they practically rushed in her direction. They yelled her name. They asked her questions about Elena Rivera. They asked about their relationship. Riley didn’t know what to do.
She hurried past all of them toward her car, unlocking it before she arrived in order to climb right in and take off. She texted Elena the moment her car was parked around the corner from her office, so as to go undetected. Elena replied that she would take care of it. Then, Riley returned to her office to find an envelope on top of her desk. It hadn’t been there when she’d left. It also wasn’t the standard legal envelope she’d been used to receiving. It had her first name only on the outside. It was handwritten, and it was Kinsley’s curvy R and Y that extended the length of her name. She looked around the space to see if Kinsley was still there. Not finding her, Riley opened the envelope and removed the piece of paper.
Riley,
I hope you’re not expecting some romantic note, because this isn’t it. This is a note of apology, because I am a complete asshole. You don’t normally see the word ‘asshole’ in a love letter, do you? I hope you’ll give me the chance to apologize in person, because I so desperately want to do that. Will you come by my place later? Around seven? If you’re not here by then, I’d say I’ll have my answer, but that’s wrong. I’ll keep trying, Riley. I’ll keep trying because you’re worth it. We’re worth it.
Kinsley
Riley folded the piece of paper and slid it back into the envelope. She glared outside and realized if she left now, she’d likely be able to get away before the press found her. They wouldn’t know about Kinsley’s house. She could go there directly. That would also give Elena time to fix the mess she’d caused. She grabbed her bag, left the office after locking it up for the night, and headed down the sidewalk and around the corner to get to her car. With no one around with a camera or a microphone, she climbed in and headed toward Kinsley’s to hear her apology in person.
◆◆◆
Kinsley was more nervous today than she’d been for their first date. It was already 7:03, and Riley wasn’t here. She was worried Riley wouldn’t show up. Maybe Riley wouldn’t give her another chance. She should have written a better note. She should have been very clear regarding her feelings. But she wanted to say the words in person, preferably, after Riley forgave her for her stupidity. By 7:05, Kinsley reached for her cell phone on the island. She had already set dinner out on the table, and she didn’t want it to get cold. She checked her phone again. Riley hadn’t called or texted that she wouldn’t be there at all. She also hadn’t left a message, saying she’d be late. Kinsley placed the phone back down and went upstairs. She hung her arms over the railing on the balcony and stared out at the semi-darkness. The sun was still setting, and the sky was alight with oranges and purples, but the trees in and around her backyard sheltered the whole area in near darkness. She’d turned the hanging lights on, illuminating parts of her yard. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, which she’d left down, remembering how much Riley liked running her own hands through it.
“Didn’t think I’d show?” Riley asked.
Kinsley turned instantly, smiled, and replied, “I wasn’t sure I’d earned you showing up.”
“What do you plan to do to earn it, then?” Riley asked with a small smile as she stood in the sliding glass doorway between Kinsley’s bedroom and the patio.
“I made you dinner,” she said pathetically, motioning with an open hand toward the table she’d already set and lit with candles. “And I made tiramisu for dessert.”
“One of my favorites,” Riley replied with a seemingly hesitant smile, still leaning in the doorway.
“I also planned to be completely honest with you, which I haven’t been so far,” Kinsley said, clasping her hands together in front of herself.
“You haven’t been honest with me? About what?” Riley moved outside then.
She’d likely come straight from work. She was still dressed in her pantsuit. Her shirt was half untucked, but other than that, she looked like she could go right into a courtroom to argue a case.
“Two things, I think.” Kinsley motioned for Riley to sit. She pulled out the chair. Riley stopped to think first before she sat down. Kinsley helped her push the chair in. She moved to her own chair next and sat. “Wine?”
Riley nodded and said, “You’re talking while we eat. No stalling, Kinsley James.”
“There’s something you don’t know about me. I haven’t gotten around to telling you. It’s not a big deal, except it might explain a little bit of why I am the way I am when it comes to you and this Elena situation.”
Kinsley poured them both a glass of wine before setting the bottle bac
k on the table. She nodded for Riley to go ahead and start eating before she picked up her own fork and knife.
“The Elena situation? Is that what we’re calling it?” Riley asked.
“My parents are divorced.”
“Oh,” Riley replied, obviously confused by the change in topic.
“They have a strange relationship where they’re cordial where I’m concerned, but my father kind of hates my mother. Still, they live in the same city and make sure when I come to visit, they put on a good show.”
“Why are–”
“The reason, or at least one of the reasons, I’ve had such a hard time with the Elena situation is because of the reason for their divorce.”
“What happened?” Riley took a bite.
“My mother had a boyfriend before my father. They were together for nearly ten years before they broke up.” She paused while she watched Riley take a drink of her wine. “He ended it. My mom moved on. She met my father, and they got married. They had me shortly after. Then, my father found out that their relationship hadn’t just been in the past.”
“She cheated on him?” Riley asked.
“I found out later that my father knew her ex-boyfriend. They’d been friends themselves. He’d asked my mom if they were done. He’d asked her if she was over him, and my mom told him time and again that she was. She wasn’t, though.” Kinsley sighed. “When I was about a year old, they started having an affair. My dad found out. They got divorced. My mom told me much later that she thought it had been over between them. She really thought she was over him, but she wasn’t.”
“What happened?”
“They’re still together,” Kinsley answered before she sipped her wine. “The boyfriend and my mom. They’re married now; have been for close to thirty years.”
“And you thought I was like your mom?” Riley asked, setting her fork down on the plate.
“I had a previous girlfriend do the same thing with her ex.” Kinsley shrugged. “We weren’t together long, but she’d just come out of a relationship when we started dating. I asked her if she was over her ex. They’d been together for two years. They lived together, for crying out loud.” She took a long gulp of her wine this time. “I asked her, and she swore. She swore to me that it was over. She promised me she was ready for something else; for me.”
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