Now that the problem of declaring their feelings for each other had been solved, Leah found ambiguity much more tolerable. As a matter of fact, it was a necessity that she table several important items of business. If she literally dealt with these issues, then she would have to emotionally deal with them as well. It was easier to pretend she wasn't going to quit her job at The Pearl than to deal with the fact that she was about to become the manager of a swing club.
It was easier to pretend on the phone to her mother that she was still happily single than to deal with the inevitable outrage that she was dating a 42-year-old divorced father of two grown daughters who just happened to be building a club that was essentially a “den of sin.” And it was easier to make love to Cap and pretend her faith wasn't condemning her to hell for it. Not going to church is making that a heck of a lot easier, she realized.
At least we've been monogamous for months now, though. Since New Year's Eve. And he's accepted my promise to think about it and let him know when and if I'm ready to try the lifestyle stuff again. But she couldn't imagine that he would be okay with permanently taking themselves out of the proverbial “lineup,” especially being owners of a swing club.
“Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Honey, I'm really tired, aren't you?” She turned to him and laid her head on his thickly carpeted chest. He stroked his fingers down her silken back.
“I want to be tired, but I think we need to take care of this first,” he smirked, pulling back the sheet to reveal his cock standing at nearly full attention, He nudged her toward it. “Please, baby? Don't you want to taste it?”
Leah had cultivated a fondness for performing fellatio since meeting Cap. As he gently guided her training, she began to see it as an art form, and with very little coaxing, she had developed mind-blowing skills. She was close to being able to take his entire organ deep into her throat, spurred on by the discovery that she loved watching the way his eyes rolled back in his head in complete and utter bliss when she attempted it.
She adored teasing the tip with her tongue and then plunging her mouth down on it, taking it so deep she'd gag, then coating it with the resultant saliva as she slid her mouth back up the shaft. Cap claimed most women couldn't bring him to climax with their mouths alone, but with practice, Leah mastered the feat. And she was proud of her accomplishment.
“I only want to get it wet,” Leah remarked, running her tongue around the ridge under the glans. “And then I'm going to climb on top and ride it.” She slurped his cock into her mouth, swallowed it nearly to the base and then held it there, feeling it stiffen and throb as she brought her lips back up to the head. She let it spring out of her mouth and wave in the air, glistening with saliva and aching for more.
She slid herself up Cap's body, nibbling up his torso in a zigzag pattern, across his nipples and then all the way to his neck. Once her hips were aligned with his, she lowered her pelvis on top of his cock and felt each inch pass through her lips to penetrate her tight, wet hole.
“Good girl,” Cap groaned as she began to grind her hips into him. She pushed herself up off his chest, her hands balancing herself on the firm mounds of his pecs. She began to ride him upright, her breasts bouncing each time she brought her hips down on top of him. Oh my god, I can't believe how freaking amazing this feels, she thought. Even when I'm not even in the mood, I get so worked up just by wrapping my lips around his cock. It's so crazy how responsive I am! I never even realized it before. He's definitely brought that out of me.
“That's it, baby, ride that cock,” he moaned, looking up at her through half-closed, lust-filled eyes. “You love that cock, don't you, baby?”
She began to pick up the pace as she felt the pressure building within her core. “I guess I need to fuck you harder to get you to shut up,” she teased him, her lips curling into a smirk. “How else is a girl going to get some sleep around here?”
“If you keep moving like that, we're going to be done and asleep in no time, Sugar,” he winced as she slammed down hard, her ass cheeks slapping onto his thighs.
“The quicker the better,” she announced, “cause I'm about to cum all over your cock, baby!” Just as the words were slipping out her lips, her pussy began to spasm with pleasure. She felt the waves rock through her and in seconds, she heard Cap's telltale groan. He grabbed her hips and pumped his cock like a piston up into her body until she watched him convulse and shake beneath her as if he'd been momentarily possessed.
She let him come back down to earth as she patiently perched on his cock, the aftershocks making him twitch inside of her. Once he regained his breath, he pulled her down onto his chest so that her head rested on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. “That felt amazing, Sugar, sorry it was so quick.”
“That was by design,” Leah smiled against his lips as she began to taste them with her own. “Now, let's get some sleep.”
She rolled off and curled up next to him, once again the inside spoon. Just as he began to drift off, he whispered, “I love you.”
She stepped off the plane and headed toward a terminal on the opposite side of the airport to meet her connecting flight. The trip from Salisbury to Philadelphia on the little puddle jumper was always loud and often choppy, but she took consolation in the fact that it was only twenty-five minutes in duration. She walked as fast as she could down the long corridor of the C terminal, dragging her carry-on bag on its wheels behind her. Even though she had plenty of time before the next flight, she was anxious to see Aimee and Natalie waiting for her. She hadn't seen either since she'd sought refuge in Philly shortly after the infamous New Year's party.
Aimee was sitting by the windows looking out across the tarmac, bouncing her four-month-old daughter on her lap. The baby was decked out in a leopard-print coat with matching shoes and a satiny red rose affixed to a velvet band crowning her head. She was giggling and the older woman sitting across from them was smiling and gesturing to her. Leah approached slowly, watching how proud Aimee looked of her little girl. It's amazing how the last time I saw her, she was this tiny sleeping bundle and now she actually looks like a miniature human with expressions and a personality. All that in four months. Truly remarkable.
Leah had not spent much time around babies. She didn't really remember her younger brothers' babyhood and there were not a lot of younger cousins on either side of her parents' families. The only experience she had was from working in the church nursery. It only took one time of being spit up on and a few nasty diaper changes to turn her off them. But watching the little girl's arms and legs waving as she gurgled and cooed and blinked her huge brown eyes, Leah could see the appeal. And yes, there was also a tiny part of her that dared to wonder what she and Cap's baby might look like.
“Leah!” Aimee's shrill voice burst out of her mouth as she jumped to her feet. “Oh my god, it's so good to see you!” She threw the arm that wasn't full of baby around her best friend.
Leah bent and gave Aimee a kiss on the cheek and then scooped Natalie out of her arms. “She's gotten so big! Oh my gosh, look at those cheeks! She is so adorable, Aimee.”
“I know! Look at her little leopard-print mary janes. Do you have any idea how much it's going to cost me to clothe this child over eighteen years? There are too many freaking cute clothes!”
Leah was grateful that Aimee had agreed to travel to Nebraska with her to attend her future sister-in-law's bridal shower. For some reason, Leah felt like she needed a buffer between her parents and herself, a distraction to help her avoid unwanted discussions. She knew having that Natalie there would send her mother into Baby Crazy Mode, which would hopefully prevent her from digging too deeply into her daughter's personal life.
The airline staff called for passengers with small children to board so Leah and Aimee headed toward the podium with their boarding passes, luggage, and Natalie in her stroller. Minutes later, they were settling into their seats for their flight into Omaha. “So what are we telling your parents?” Aimee asked as the flight at
tendants readied the cabins for departure.
“As little as possible,” Leah answered. “I mean, I might mention I'm dating someone but I don't want to give any details. And nothing about the new job. We're not crossing that bridge till we come to it. I'm hoping everyone will fawn over you and the baby so much, they'll just forget about little old me.”
Aimee laughed, “Well, they haven't seen you in almost a year, sweetie, I doubt you're going to escape notice. But good luck anyway!” She winked and the next thing they knew, the jet's engines were rumbling and they were coasting fast down the strip, ready for take-off.
She had time to send Cap a quick text to say she'd landed safely and then as soon as she, Aimee and Natalie passed out of the terminal, they were bombarded by the Millers. Pastor Miller got to Leah first, then her mother, then her brothers and her sister-in-law-to-be. Her Aunt Jane and Uncle Bob were there as well as her cousins Lilly and Ruth. And of course, her Grandma and Grandpa Yoder had joined them as well. Aimee and Natalie received just as many hugs and squeezes as Leah, and by the time all their affection was exchanged, Leah was certain that they were the hugging-est family in Nebraska.
The drive to Wahoo was lovely in the late afternoon sun. The trees, just beginning to unfurl their new leaves, dotted the interstate with yellow-green and rust against the cerulean sky. Once they turned down the highway toward her hometown, she noticed tulips and hyacinths waving at her from the yards they passed. She had a sudden pang of homesickness as she counted down the stop signs and turns till her father pulled into the driveway of their modest two story house with its half brick and half siding exterior and neat stone-lined lane that led up to the brick porch.
She anticipated that the dogwood trees on either side of the lawn would be just about to bloom. This was one of her favorite times of the year. By the time she came back in June for the wedding, all the spring flowers would be replaced by the summer ones: bright petunias and day lilies and the hydrangea bushes on the east side of the house that she and her mother planted the summer she turned ten. They'd been divided and were still easily five feet wide. She didn't usually get to come home in the summer since The Pearl was so busy with tourists, but this year was an exception. She couldn't miss her brother's wedding.
Her parents' house was exactly the same as she remembered it: tidy and quaint with country decor. The kitchen windows wore green-checked valances with small red apples stenciled along the bottom edge. The living room was done in peach and country blue. Antique baskets and kitchen implements decorated the kitchen walls.
Leah showed Aimee to her bedroom, which looked virtually the same as it had ten years ago when she was graduating from high school with its white eyelet comforter on the brass daybed and matching curtains framing the windows. The wallpaper was a lilac and pink floral print on a pearly white background and the carpet was mauve. A trundle bed pulled out from underneath the daybed to accommodate a sleepover friend. Leah helped set up Natalie's pack and play in the corner near the closet doors.
“So far, so good, right?” Aimee asked, laying Natalie down on the bed to change her diaper.
“The real grilling will start after dinner,” Leah predicted. As usual, she was right.
Pastor Miller said the prayer as the family gathered around the heavy oak dining table, hands clasped together and their noses filled with the aroma of pot roast, green beans, mashed potatoes and homemade yeast rolls. Little Natalie cooed and babbled through most of it from her mother's lap.
“Oh, Aimee, that baby of yours is just so adorable. Is she eating solid food yet?” Mrs. Miller gushed as she began passing dishes and bowls around the table.
“We just started her on cereal last week, actually,” Aimee replied. “It's such a mess! I'm not sure if any of it actually makes it into her tummy!”
“Oh, your parents must be in heaven,” Mrs. Miller sighed. “I can't wait to have grandbabies. I hope that Andrew and Mikayla have babies right away!” She smiled hopefully across the table at her son and his new bride, who blushed.
She seems like a sweet girl, bright and eager to please, Leah thought, but also young and naïve. I hope she doesn't let my mom walk all over her. Mikayla tossed her honey blonde curls over her shoulder and giggled at her future mother-in-law's comment. Leah's brother Andrew put his arm around his fiancée.
Look how happy they are, she sighed. She was stricken by a sharp twinge of jealousy that Andrew was sitting at the table with his betrothed, but her family didn't even know about Cap. Of course, we're nowhere near close to getting married. So I guess that makes it different.
Andrew had just finished up his bachelor’s degree in Christian Ministry from Ozark Christian College where he had met Mikayla his freshman year. Their story sounded strikingly similar to that of their parents, and Leah wondered if nine months after their wedding day they'd be welcoming their first born child as well: history repeating itself. Naturally, Mr. and Mrs. Miller were beaming with pride over their son and his choice to follow in his father's footsteps toward the pulpit.
“I thought Leah would have given me a grandbaby by now,” Mrs. Miller said with no attempt to disguise her disappointment. “I know she's doing great work out there at the beach, but I sure hope she decides to start a family before it's too late!”
I love it when she talks about me like I'm not even here, Leah lamented, biting her tongue to prevent her from saying what she really wanted to say. “I'm 27, Mom,” she finally responded, as calmly as possible. “I don't think there's any danger in my biological clock expiring for at least another ten years.”
“That's true,” Aimee swooped in to back up her friend. “She still has a long career ahead of her! And plenty of time for babies!”
“Are you at least dating? Are there any nice young men at your church?” Mrs. Miller asked, begging like a dog to be thrown a bone.
“I have been seeing someone for a little while,” Leah said boldly. She glanced toward Aimee who was desperately trying to conceal her shock regarding Leah's semi-voluntary admission.
Mrs. Miller's eyes lit up like a fourth of July fireworks display. “Someone from work? Someone from church?”
“I met him while I was at work, yes,” Leah offered. “He owns a business. He's a really nice man.”
“Well, that sounds promising!” Mrs. Miller exclaimed, looking down the table at Pastor Miller who nodded in agreement.
“We'll see,” Leah replied, and that was all she intended to say on that matter.
Weekend trips, no matter how relaxing and devoid of a set itinerary, always speed by. Leah couldn't believe her time in the homeland had already drawn to a close as she stared out the window at the whizzing scenery on their way to the airport. Seems like we just got here, and now we're already leaving, she sighed at the melancholy thought. She had felt restless, defensive, and out of sorts all weekend, especially at church that morning.
Her father's sermon was on purity. He preached about purity of the mind, the heart, and the spirit. He condemned impure thoughts and actions and reminded his congregation of the passage from Philippians 4:8, “...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
She was thinking about each of those adjectives: true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. Don't those words describe Cap and our relationship? she considered. He certainly isn't lacking in character. He just likes to have fun...you know, the occasional drink and the occasional fuck with someone he's not in a relationship with, Leah mused. But I suppose that qualifies as impure. And by that definition, I guess I am not pure either.
Pure is a funny word, she had thought as she sat on the hard, unforgiving wooden pew and doodled a little design in ink on the back of a prayer request card. The drawing kept expanding as she thought, spirals and arrows and little roses on vines climbing up cross-hatched trellises, until all the white space was filled in
.
Pure, pure, pure. P-yer. The more she repeated the word in her mind, the less meaning it had. It really just means that something is 100% one thing and 0% anything else, right? she worked out in her mind. As if anything is really 100% one thing, she thought back to high school chemistry, unless it's an element. Even water is 2/3 hydrogen and 1/3 oxygen.
Now, sitting on the plane, she started to miss Cap with a vengeance. And there was a small shadow growing around her, a shadow of insecurity that caused her to wonder if he strayed while she was gone. She couldn't be back to Maryland and in his arms fast enough, but of course, there was nothing she could do to speed up the flight. She'd land in Philly, say goodbye to Aimee and Natalie and then hightail it to the F terminal for the PHL to SBY leg of her journey. And at the end of that flight, she'd run into Cap's outstretched arms and climb into his big blue truck to take her back to Ocean City.
Her mother had surprisingly disbanded the inquisition about her daughter's personal life that first night after dinner. Prior to that, she'd asked several follow-up questions after Leah admitted to be dating someone, but all Leah would volunteer was that her beau was named “Chris,” that he came from a long line of fishermen, and that he'd grown up in the Ocean City area.
She closely guarded the secrets that he was 42 and had two adult daughters. But she did as Cap had asked, she'd told her family about him, even if she shared very minimal information. Mrs. Miller seemed to finally understand that Leah was not going to divulge anything further, and then, as if a miracle had just occurred at 614 Primrose Lane in Wahoo, Nebraska, she just stopped prying.
What did I think she was going to ask? If I'm sleeping with him? Leah had already planned on answering that in the negative, but her mother was much too prim and proper to consider passing those words over her lips. She felt better about the conversation that had transpired because she hadn't lied. Lies of omission, maybe? her guilty conscience questioned. She quickly decided that this line of thought wasn't keeping with the list of worthy adjectives prescribed by Philippians 4:8, so it should be abandoned.
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