by Laura Drewry
And while he was surprised and sounded a little hurt that she hadn’t told him to start with, he was actually really good about the whole thing.
She made no mention of the fact that Finn had been helping her through it, because she was afraid she’d let something slip and they’d all agreed that, just in case, it would be better to leave Sam in the dark about that for now—at least until they were sure it wouldn’t make filming any more awkward than it had to be.
And because she’d been so vague about everything herself, she couldn’t really dog him when he refused to even hint at what he wanted to talk to her about, insisting that it was something that needed to be done face-to-face.
So while the next couple of weeks dragged, waiting for all that to be resolved, every moment of those same weeks flew by when she was with Finn. The time they spent together in the lake had drifted away from her original goal, but that was okay because it was time alone with Finn. She could get in the water and walk around by herself. She could even dunk under and come up again without needing him to be there to catch her. Granted, he was always there just in case, and she’d never done it in the really deep water, but still, it was so much more than she could do a couple of months ago.
Besides, out there in the deep water—she was afraid that was where she’d still see Tracy, which was why she wouldn’t jump off the dock, no matter how many times Finn tried to persuade her. She couldn’t bring herself to get on one of the boats, either, but she knew she’d do both eventually; it was only a matter of time.
Finn had tried to push her, but Jessie wouldn’t budge, not yet. She wasn’t ready. Besides, everything else had been great the last couple of weeks, so why did he have to push about that? God knows she didn’t push him to do anything he wasn’t ready to do; in fact, she gave him an out whenever she thought he needed one.
Like the night she’d blurted out that she loved him. She’d given him an out then, hadn’t she?
So many times she wanted to kick herself for not letting him say it that night, but she’d told him the truth: She’d rather he didn’t say it than only say it because he felt he had to, so she’d told him not to say it.
And he didn’t.
But how much longer should she wait before she gave way to that nagging fear? The one that tried to convince her he’d never say it? That one that reminded her that she was already living on borrowed time with him and that the reason he’d crawled out of bed so early this morning was that it was the first step in him extracting himself from her life?
She should have known better, but, no, she went and let herself feel all sorts of mushy crap for him, even though she knew it was risky. She’d hoped they’d have more than a few good weeks, but—
“Oh my God,” she muttered, running her finger across the weeks on the calendar. “You’re such an idiot.”
Wrenching open the freezer, she pulled out the nearest tub of Ben & Jerry’s and reached for the biggest spoon in the drawer.
Finn walked in just as she stuffed the first spoonful in her mouth.
“Can I get you a bowl?” he snickered. “Or a trough?”
“Keep talkin’,” she grunted. “But be warned—I’m in the throes of a full-on PMS attack, and you already made my hit list before you even walked in here.”
“Oh jeez.” He smiled, but it was tremulous at best. “If I gun it, I can get whatever you need in Port Hardy and be back in—what—a couple hours.”
At first she thought he was kidding, but then he dashed a kiss across her cheek and started for the door. Finally able to at least smile a little, she hurried after him, the tub still clutched in her hand.
“Stop,” she said. “Just the fact that you offered without being a complete jerk has saved your life for now.”
“You sure? ’Cause you’re kinda looking at me like you’re going to gut me in my sleep.”
Jessie stuffed another spoonful in her mouth before breathing out a resigned sigh.
“Yeah, I’m sure. But you might want to hide the knives tonight just in case.”
“Okay, good tip.” He slipped his arms around her and pulled her close, ice cream and all. “What can I do?”
“Nothing.” God, was that her being so whiny? Ugh!
“Jess.”
“Fine—you can tell me why you snuck out of bed at the butt crack of dawn this morning without so much as a hello, goodbye, or kiss my ass.”
The fact he smiled at her like that, the exact same easy way he always had, only made her feel worse. She knew it was the PMS that had her thinking and talking like a crazy woman, but the fact remained he had snuck out on her this morning and he still hadn’t said he loved her.
“Hey,” he said, pressing a soft kiss against her frown. “Hello.”
“Too late,” she grumbled.
“Goodbye.” He pressed another one to the tip of her nose, then grinned as he leaned in closer and breathed the last kiss against her lips. “Kiss my ass.”
She didn’t want to laugh; she wanted to be mad, so why was she smiling at him?
Damn it.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I figured I’d go back to my room instead of flopping around and disturbing you.”
“You didn’t disturb me.” Another scoop of ice cream and the sugar finally started flooding her system.
“That’s ’cause I left.” His fingers were un-freaking-believably soft as he tucked her hair behind her ear. “Figured it was going to be a busy day; you’d probably want to get as much sleep as you could.”
“ ’Kay, well…damn it…thank you.” Feeling every bit the idiot that she was, she tried to smile but was pretty sure it came out more like a grimace. “And for the record, I want to apologize for being pissed at you earlier and for being pissed at you later today.”
“Later?” he choked. “But I haven’t even done anything.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Jessie licked the spoon clean and dug in for some more. “Every once in a long while, PMS takes my crazy to a whole new level, and this, my friend, is what it’s like.”
“Great. Maybe we should turn everyone around when they get here today?”
“It might not be a bad idea.” She was kidding, mostly, and with another few scoops, she might even be completely kidding.
“Too late.”
They couldn’t see the dock from where they were standing in the kitchen, but that didn’t stop either one of them from turning in that direction when they heard the whirring of the approaching Helijet.
“Okay, here we go.” Before tucking the tub back in the freezer, she took one more scoop for good measure, dropped the spoon in the sink, then straightened her shoulders and forced the biggest smile she could. “This is going to be so great!”
Liam and Kate, both looking a little worried, were already standing near the fish shack when Jessie and Finn got there. They waited until the pilot cut the engine and climbed down to help his passengers out before Liam and Finn made a move.
“Remember,” Liam said as the first person—Ashley, who’d added her name to the roster a couple of days earlier—stepped out onto the dock. “Be nice.”
“Say that one more time,” Finn growled, “and I’m gonna rip your fucking arm right off.”
With the narrow dock filling up, Kate hung back by the fish shack with Jessie, craning her neck every time someone else stepped off.
“Okay, I was wrong,” Kate muttered. “We totally should have put them out in the A-frames. Are you sure you’re all going to be okay down there?”
“It’s two nights, Kate; how bad can it possibly get? Now smile.” Jessie took a step forward and extended her hand. “Ashley, it’s so great to see you again.”
From behind, Kate covered her snort with a cough before doing her part to welcome Ashley and then Ryan and Chuck, the two cameramen.
And then, finally, Sam. He really was cute—cute enough to make Kate gasp a little—with his summer-bleached hair and his clear blue eyes, but the only thing that made Jessie smile was the fac
t that Finn was just behind him, smiling at her.
“Sam—welcome to the Buoys!” What was she supposed to do now? Hug him? Shake his hand? Give him one of those stupid up-nods that guys gave each other?
Oh crap, his arms were already open. Okay, hug it is.
“Jess…it’s so good to see you.” As Sam pulled her into his arms, Finn winked, mouthed her name silently, then smirked when she narrowed her gaze at him.
After a quick pat on his back, Jessie stepped to the side and waved Kate forward.
“Sam, this is Kate Hadley. Kate, Sam Ross.”
“Nice to meet you, Kate.”
“Yeah, you, too.”
They only had about an hour before the first planeload of guests arrived, so Jessie went straight into work mode; they needed to get the gear off the dock and the luggage taken care of first, then Ryan and Chuck could start setting up on Fishin’ Impossible.
“As full as we are,” Jessie said, as she and Kate led Ashley downstairs, “I’m sorry to say our options for where to put you are a little limited: Sam or me. Your choice.”
Please pick Sam. Please pick Sam.
“You.” Ashley didn’t even hesitate. “It would feel awkward sleeping with him, you know?”
Kate pointed to the cot lined up against the wall outside what used to be Ronan’s room.
“You wouldn’t be sharing a bed,” she said. “Just the room.”
“Right, yes, of course.”
It was possible Jessie misread it, but it sure looked like a shot of panic that made Ashley’s smile waver ever so slightly. Crap.
“My room it is,” she said, hoping her smile didn’t look as painful as it felt as she waved Ashley toward the door.
Kate waited until Ashley had gone in to set her bags down before grabbing Jessie’s wrist. “Are you crazy?”
“It’s a couple nights, Kate. It won’t kill me.”
“Maybe not, but how happy do you think Finn’s going to be about getting ousted?”
“He’s got Ro bunking with him.” They’d opted not to tell Ronan about her and Finn until they’d made it through the Hooked filming, because the last thing they needed was Ro in a rage.
And even though Finn had said he didn’t give a shit how mad Ronan was going to be, his right eye twitched every time Ro’s name came up.
Lugging Ryan’s and Chuck’s bags into Liam’s old room, Kate was still shaking her head.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” she muttered. “I don’t know why, I just do.”
“Nah, it’ll be fine.” If Jessie tried hard enough, maybe she’d be able to believe her own words.
With bags delivered, Kate and Ashley left to help organize the gear, while Jessie ducked into the office to check messages.
They’d been bang on right about one thing: Reservations were off the charts already. The Buoys was booked solid for the rest of the week because Sam was actually there, but they were also booking well into next season, and that would only increase once the Hooked episode aired.
She’d always loved the chaos of getting ready for guests but never more than now, because it meant she didn’t have to be alone with Sam yet. Every time she got anywhere near him, he’d smile at her as if…well, she didn’t even know, but it was weird. Sort of as if he knew something about her.
They’d just finished organizing the camera gear on Fishin’ Impossible when the first guest-filled Cessna swooped down onto the water and pulled up to the dock. It got crowded enough out there when the plane wasn’t full, but with all those extra bodies, Jessie’s chest started to tighten.
“Sam—can you and your guys head up to the lodge, please? Olivia’ll take care of you while we get everyone sorted out, and then we’ll all meet up there in about an hour or so.”
Nodding, he gave her another one of those odd smiles, but Jessie didn’t wait for him to answer; instead, she turned and hustled down the dock to help tie up and unload the luggage.
The last of the guests had barely made it inside the lodge when the sound of the second Cessna arriving had Jessie and the others hustling back down to the dock.
“What’s so funny?” Finn asked, nudging her elbow a little.
“Nothing, why?”
“You haven’t stopped smiling, is all.”
“I can’t help it; I’ve missed this—the days when the place is overflowing with people. Don’t you love that?”
Finn’s eyes softened. “Yeah.”
One by one the passengers deplaned until finally…last one off: Ronan!
Before Jimmy died, it was a rare day to have all three O’Donnell boys together at the lodge, so when it happened, it always had the same effect on Jessie, especially when she got to witness the very first moment they saw one another again.
Ronan O’Donnell was large and fierce, just like his da, but every time she saw him hug his brothers like that—his big arms curled around their necks as he pulled them in and kissed their heads—it made her cry.
“Why can’t they always be like that?” Kate murmured as she tucked a tissue in Jessie’s hand.
“God knows. Let’s hope we can get them up to the lodge before they piss one another off.”
Dabbing the corner of her eyes, Jessie waited until Finn and Liam stepped back before she threw herself into Ronan’s hug and kissed his cheek.
“Welcome home, Ro. We’ve missed you.”
“Speak for yourself,” Finn grunted, dodging Ro’s backhand. “I kinda liked the peace and quiet.”
“Aaaand they’re back,” Kate laughed. “Come on, we need to get up there.”
As soon as Liam finished the introductions to the standing-room-only crowd, Jessie ducked out to the kitchen, helping Olivia and double-checking everything she’d already double-checked last night.
A couple of times Olivia asked her why she was smiling, but Jessie just shook her head. How was she supposed to explain that it was the noise level she loved so much, especially when Finn, Liam, and Ro ramped it up more with their jokes at one another’s expense.
She couldn’t think of a single place she’d rather be or another group of people she’d rather work with, so that little twinge of anxiety in her brain could piss off. There was no reason to think she’d ever not be there, right?
Right.
Things between her and Finn would work out just fine, right?
Right. It was PMS causing that twinge, nothing else.
“Right,” she muttered, then immediately shoved that twinge as far back as she could, because it was suppertime and things were about to get busier.
Jessie hustled around the room, taking orders and quietly noting guests’ preferences: who liked to drink their beer out of the bottle instead of a glass, who liked the nuclear-powered hot sauce, who liked to be hovered over, and who wanted their food delivered and then to be left alone.
As Ashley had requested, the Hooked people were seated smack in the middle of the room, surrounded by, but not eating with, the guests. There was room at the table for at least two more chairs—every other table had five or six—but Ashley had insisted it be only the four of them, so any guest without room at a table had to sit at the bar.
No one complained, but still, it stuck in Jessie’s craw a little. Sam Ross might be a celebrity in the fishing world, but at the end of the day he was just another guy drinking Guinness and wolfing down his beef tenderloin. And for some reason, neither Ashley nor the camera guys seemed the least bit bothered watching him chew like that.
Finn, Liam, Ro, and Kate didn’t sit to eat; they snuck bites behind the bar as they moved from table to table, chatting up the guests and helping Jessie get orders out.
Between appetizers, meals, and drinks, the place was hopping like crazy, so Jessie hardly noticed that Finn barely made eye contact or that he seemed to be giving her a wide berth every time he walked by her.
Nope. Hardly at all.
—
Finn loved watching Jess do her thing. With efficiency and ease, she made each gue
st feel as if they were part of the Buoys’ family, even those guests who preferred to tuck into the corners, away from the commotion.
He loved the way she kept the place running smooth as silk no matter how many people were crammed into their pub-style restaurant. He loved how fast she picked up on guests’ tics; he loved the way she moved between the tables, her tray up high, her hips swaying, and her mouth—sweet Lord, that mouth—always smiling; and he loved that he knew she had a tube of ChapStick tucked in her apron pocket next to her pencil and notepad.
It wasn’t that she even used it most of the time; it was more of a habit. Some girls twirled their hair, some bit their nails, and Jess rolled her ChapStick around in her hand.
What he didn’t love was the way Sam kept watching her with that smug little smile of his, but Finn knew if he outwardly reacted to it, things would go sideways right quick like.
No, Jess could handle herself, so the best thing Finn could do was keep his head down and stop stewing about it before Ro noticed. Come to that, it’d be best if he stopped eyeballing Jess, too, because every time he looked at her he wanted to kiss her.
A couple of days, that’s all he’d have to wait. Then the Hooked people would be gone, and he could finally clue Ronan in on the Jess situation. There was no doubt Ro was going to blow a freakin’ gasket over it and no doubt there’d be a few more fists in the air before it was finished, but Finn could deal with that.
As the night wore on, Finn had to keep reminding himself that it would only be a couple of days, because not only was there no chance of getting a minute alone with Jess in the great room tonight, but they weren’t going to have time to get out to the lake and they sure as hell weren’t going to be sharing a bed.
Even if he could have snuck out on Ronan, there was no way he could get into Jess’s bed without tripping over or around Ashley. Just thinking about it sent a string of curses threatening to escape, but Da’s voice reverberated in his head, drowning them out.
Good things come to those who wait.
Right. Okay. It was a couple of days; that’s it. After that, Finn wouldn’t give a shit what happened or how loud and long Ro yelled and carried on. All that mattered was getting to kiss Jess whenever the hell he liked and spending every night until forever snoring in her ear.