by Violet Howe
I walked over to the ceremony site and told Galen we would see her at the rehearsal dinner at Tate’s parents’ house.
“Okay, Mom. We’re almost finished. Can you take my bag from the car and leave it in the bridal suite?”
“Sure, sweetheart.”
Dax and I walked to my car and retrieved her suitcase for the honeymoon, carrying it up to the bridal suite so she wouldn’t have to worry with it on the wedding day.
I looked at the upstairs room through a different lens knowing that it had been meant for Dax and Deanna, and as I watched him put the suitcase by the fireplace, my heart hurt to think of how painful the room must be for him.
He had turned to go back downstairs when I noticed I could see the ceremony site through the sliding glass doors. I went and looked down at the group, surprised to see that Gerry had arrived while Dax and I were in the house.
His hair was nearly all gray, with only a tinge of its original color left. I couldn’t see his face clearly, but even from the second-floor window, I could tell he’d aged considerably in the years since I’d seen him. I watched Galen hug him, but my eyes were on Cabe as Gerry shook Tate’s hand. My son’s back was ramrod straight and stiff, and I noticed Tyler immediately went to Cabe’s side.
Gerry shook Jeffrey’s hand and gave Julie a kiss on the cheek, and I was struck by how cold their interactions appeared. He nodded to Cabe, who nodded back, and then Gerry turned his focus to Galen.
It was the first time their father had been in the same place with the four children, and I wondered if it was lost on him how wrong that was.
“So that’s Gerry?” Dax asked behind me as he looked out the window.
“That’s Gerry.”
“I don’t like him,” Dax said with a shrug.
I smiled. “Me, either. Something else we have in common.”
“You want to go out there?”
“Not at all.”
“You ready to go then?”
“Yeah,” I said, sliding my arm around his waist as we descended the stairs, both of us leaving our past behind as we exited the house.
60 HEAD HELD HIGH
Galen and I had stayed up late watching movies and talking after the rehearsal dinner, enjoying the bittersweet moments of bonding on the last night she’d be in my home as a single woman.
The morning of the wedding dawned bright and beautiful, but already hot as blazes before the sun was very high in the sky.
The day was a whirlwind of hair and makeup appointments and fielding phone calls from various family members and friends. I didn’t envy Tyler her job as a wedding planner after seeing the chaos first-hand, and I knew it was even harder on her to play the double role of sister-in-law and planner, though I’m sure Bronwyn’s presence was a big help.
Dax was on a ladder assisting Sandy with the floral decorations on the arbor he’d built for Galen’s ceremony, and I was enjoying the shade of the back porch while the photographer conducted pre-ceremony photos on the lawn. At Tyler’s suggestion, Tate and Galen had opted to do all their pictures ahead of time, forgoing the tradition of the bride avoiding the groom so they could get outside shots without worrying about the impending darkness after the sunset ceremony.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
I stiffened at the sound of Gerry’s voice so close behind me as I watched Galen and Cabe laugh and pose for a photo. I thought I’d been prepared for the inevitable moment that we’d be thrown together in the same space, but as the anger twisted my stomach in knots, I realized I’d never be ready to exchange pleasantries with him. Especially not about my daughter.
“She looks so much like you,” he said. “Like you did then. Of course, you haven’t aged a bit. Still beautiful as ever.”
“Don’t,” I said, forcing my voice to show no emotion.
He moved to stand shoulder to shoulder with me, and I stood my ground, resisting the urge to sidestep away from him.
“Will we ever be able to look at our daughter, at our children, and have a civil conversation? Without you sounding like you’d rather stab my eyes out than look at me?”
My stomach revolted at him calling them ‘our’ children, and I moved my hand over my abdomen to calm the storm inside.
“I’ve apologized so many times over the years that I have no more words left to say I’m sorry,” he said, his voice no louder than a whisper. “Can you not find it in your heart to forgive me? Even now? When they both clearly want you to?”
I turned to face him, my hands clenched in fists by my side. “You have no idea what they want. You may be able to manipulate her, for now, but don’t think I don’t see it. You’ll never play Cabe. He’ll never be putty in your hands.”
He flashed a faint smile as he looked away from me, toward Cabe and Galen as they laughed in an embrace with Tyler and Tate, smiling for the camera and oblivious to our exchange.
“Is that what you think you were? Putty in my hands?”
I scoffed and turned back to watch the kids, crossing my arms and tucking my hands in so he wouldn’t see them shaking.
“Do you want to know my biggest regret, Maggie?”
The silence I offered in answer didn’t faze him.
“I know I’ve made mistakes—big ones, to be sure. I’ve hurt people. I’ve nearly destroyed my family. I’ve done things I can’t take back.”
“I’m glad you can acknowledge all that,” I ground out through gritted teeth. “It’s nice to know you have regrets. You should regret not being there for your kids. Any of them. From any of the women you sired them with.”
“So much anger still. You know they say there’s a fine line between love and hate. Have you ever considered that maybe the reason you’re still so upset is because you know what we had was real?”
I wanted to hit him. I wanted to claw at his face with my nails until his flesh was shredded and torn. I wanted to kick him in the crotch and stand over him while he writhed in pain.
Cabe’s eyes met mine as they posed for one last shot, and the concern and anger that flashed across his expression darkened his features.
I smiled and shook my head, trying to convey that I was all right and willing him not to make a scene and draw attention to Gerry and me. I would allow nothing that Gerry Tucker did to mar Galen’s special day.
“It’s you,” Gerry said, his voice so close and low that my skin crawled. “I loved you, Willow. I know you will never believe me, but I will swear on my deathbed that it’s true. I knew it the first time I laid eyes on you, and I should have handled the whole thing differently. The biggest regret of my life is screwing that up. I should have ended things with Margot before I ever let things start with us. I should have stayed away from you until I was a free man, and I shouldn’t have taken what you freely gave until I was able to return the gift. I just loved you too much to let go.”
“I believe if memory serves me correctly, it was the money you loved too much to let go.”
He shrugged.
“I can admit that. I was scared to give up the money. I didn’t know how to exist without it. I didn’t know who I was without it. But I did love you. You were the love of my life. You’re not the only one who was in pain. I had to live without the one person I most wanted to be with.”
A guttural laugh escaped me. “Just stop. You made that choice. You had all the information. I didn’t. You made choices for both of us. For all of us. Don’t pretend now that it meant something it didn’t.”
“It was our child who carried my brother’s name. It was you who has haunted my dreams every night since we parted. Losing you was the one mistake I could never escape. I wanted that life with you so badly.”
Cabe was walking toward us, and I could see Galen behind him, still standing with Tate though her eyes were on Gerry and me, her face filled with concern.
“That life was a lie,” I said, stepping off the porch to walk toward my son and head off any confrontation.
“I wanted it to be true,”
Gerry said.
I looked back over my shoulder at him but never stopped walking away. “Wanting something to be true doesn’t make it true.”
I closed the distance quickly to meet Cabe, looping my arm through his as he glared past me at Gerry.
“C’mon,” I said. “Let’s go back over here with your sister.”
“You okay?”
I nodded, patting his arm and intertwining our fingers. “I’m fine, handsome. As long as you and Galen are happy, I’m fine. Blessed beyond measure.”
He stole a glance back toward Gerry, and when the tension released from Cabe’s body, I knew he wasn’t following us. My own shoulders relaxed and though the knot in my stomach was still tight, I no longer felt like its contents might be thrown all over the lawn.
“Everything okay?” Galen asked, leaving Tate’s side to come and place her hand on my arm.
“Yes. Everything’s fine. Don’t you worry. This is your day, sweetheart, and you have nothing to worry about.”
She smiled, and seeing her happy strengthened me.
“I wanted to get a pic with Da—with Gerry. Is that okay with you? I won’t do it if it upsets you.”
A tiny knife pierced the knot in my stomach and twisted it tighter.
“Of course. Yes. You need a picture with him.” My voice sounded high-strung, and I swallowed hard against the bile that rose in my throat. I turned and saw that Gerry was still standing on the porch where I’d left him, his eyes fixed on Galen and me.
“Gerry?” I called out in the friendliest voice I could muster. “Galen would like a photo with you.”
Surprise registered on his face, and he looked uncertain. It was not a look I’d seen on him very often, and more than ever in that moment, I saw his age. The lines on his face. The gray in his hair. The weight of a lifetime of selfish lies pulling his shoulders down.
Cabe squeezed my hand as Gerry joined Galen in front of the camera, and Tyler slid her arm around my waist as she squeezed from the other side. I could tell they thought they were holding me up, bolstering me against watching Gerry and Galen together, something I’d fought against for her entire life.
While I appreciated the support, both physically and emotionally, my head was held high of its own accord. I may have made mistakes in choosing their father, but I’d done my best by my kids to protect them from him. As adults, they needed to make their own choices regarding him, and I needed to support them. Even if that meant allowing them to get hurt.
I watched Galen as she looked up at him, her hands in his. Her face was a mixture of adoration and apprehension, and I knew she was more worried that he would hurt her than she had let on.
She was strong, though. She was a fighter. And I knew she would be okay in the end.
She was her mother’s daughter, after all.
He may have broken the girl I was, but the woman I became had come out on top in every way.
I let go of Cabe’s hand and stepped out of Tyler’s embrace. “I’m gonna go check and see how Dax and Sandy are doing with the arbor.”
61 A UNIFIED FRONT
Everyone sought the comfort of air conditioning as soon as the ceremony ended, filing inside the main house to enjoy passed hors d’oeuvres and hit the bar for refreshments as they sighed in relief to be out of the heat.
Cabe had not acknowledged his father’s presence other than a brief nod the two exchanged when Gerry arrived. He had focused on his sister’s smile to avoid watching their father escort her down the aisle in a show of pomp and circumstance that the man should never have had a part of.
He’d promised Galen he would keep quiet and not make a scene, but when Cabe saw Gerry go out on the back porch of the house as everyone else was enjoying the cocktail reception, he excused himself from conversation and followed his father outside.
“Isn’t it time for you to be leaving?” Cabe asked as he walked up to Gerry with his arms crossed. “You agreed to go after the ceremony.”
“Ah, Cable. You decided you’d speak to the old man after all.”
“You’ve done your part. Now go.”
“You know,” Gerry said, lighting a cigarillo and turning it between his fingers, “at some point, you’re going to fall off that high horse you ride on. You look down at me, but you’re going to make your mistakes in life, son, and you’ll see that none of us are perfect.”
“Say your goodbyes to Galen and leave.”
“I’m enjoying time with my daughter. In fact, I’m enjoying having all my children together for the first time. I don’t think I’m ready to leave yet.”
“All your children? Aren’t you forgetting about the two daughters in Arizona? Or do you not acknowledge them?”
Gerry raised his eyebrows and took a long drag on the cigarillo. “You think you know so much, Cable. Maybe you need to ask your sister if she wants me to go. It’s her wedding, after all. I’m here at her invitation, not yours. I’ve walked her down the aisle, at her request. And now I intend to stay and have a father/daughter dance. Also at her request.”
“That wasn’t the agreement,” Cabe said, his jaw tight and his voice barely concealing his anger.
“Well, the agreement changed. Talk to the bride.”
Gerry exhaled smoke in Cabe’s direction and turned to face the lake in a dismissive gesture.
“The agreement stands. You’re not welcome here, and you’re not staying for the reception. My mother and my family will enjoy this celebration without you here putting a damper on everyone’s spirits. You’re leaving now.” Cabe’s voice didn’t waver, and his stance didn’t change.
“Again, you need to take this up with the bride. I’ve already promised my daughter a dance.”
“I’m not taking anything up with the bride. She knows what the agreement was. You’re going to go in and tell her that something came up and you need to go.”
Gerry blew smoke up at the sky and laughed, though his laughter held no humor. “Why would I do that? Why would I break my daughter’s heart on her wedding day when I’ve just promised her a dance?”
“Because that’s what you do,” Cabe said. “You break promises. You break hearts. She’s going to learn that eventually anyway, and it might as well be now. You’re not robbing my mother of the opportunity of enjoying this night. She has given her entire adult life to us. She picked up the pieces after you left and made sure we had everything we needed to thrive despite you. Tonight, she gets to reap her rewards and enjoy this special occasion for our family. You are not part of our family.”
“And what are you going to do if I say no, Cable?” Gerry dropped the cigarillo and ground it out with the toe of his shoe, sticking his hands in pockets.
“I’ll remove you myself.”
“And I’ll help him,” said Jeffrey, behind Cabe.
If Cabe was surprised that his brother had walked up behind him, he didn’t show it. He didn’t react at all.
Gerry, on the other hand, looked up with eyes wide and eyebrows raised as he stared at his sons. “Really, Jeffrey? Choosing sides?”
“And I don’t think they need my help,” Dax said, stepping out on the porch from where he’d stood listening just inside the door, “but if they do, they have it.”
“And who are you?” Gerry asked, his eyebrows pulled together as he lifted his head to look at the taller man.
“I’m the one with the legal recourse to kick you off my property, but I’m also the one you’ll have to come through if I think you’re going to cause Maggie or her family any unhappiness at all.”
The three men stood side by side facing Gerry, unified with crossed arms and wide stances.
“Ah, looks like Maggie has herself a lovesick suitor. Great. Look, you can’t possibly expect me to go in there and tell Galen that I’m leaving. You’re all railing at me not to make people unhappy, and yet you’re asking me to do just that.”
“She’ll be fine,” Cabe said.
“So, then you go tell her you’re asking me to leave.”<
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Cabe shook his head. “No. For once, you’re going to take responsibility and suffer the consequences. You’re going to hold up your end of the agreement, and it’s going to be on you.”
Gerry sighed and looked back toward the lake, rubbing his hand over his chin.
“It wasn’t that great of a party anyway,” he said, glaring at Dax. “The food sucks.”
He moved to go past the three men, but when none of them stepped aside, Gerry was forced to go off the porch to get around them.
“You forgot your butt,” Dax said, pointing to the remnants of the cigarillo on the ground. “There’s a trash receptacle right over there.”
Gerry met Dax’s eyes with a forced grin, and then he turned to pick up the cigarillo butt, tossing it in the can as he went back inside.
Cabe watched through the window as Gerry went to Galen, pulling her aside as they talked with bent heads, and then making his way toward the front door.
“Thank you,” Cabe said with a nod to Jeffrey and Dax.
“Any time, brother,” Jeffrey said, clapping his hand on Cabe’s shoulder as they entered the party together.
Cabe went to Galen immediately. “You okay?” he asked.
Her smile was genuine, and her eyes were bright as she hugged him. “Yeah, I’m great. I just got married!”
“I saw Gerry talking to you. Everything all right?”
“Yeah. He had wanted to stay and do some kind of dance, but I had told him I didn’t think it was a good idea. He insisted at first, but then he said he’d thought about it more and decided to just go. That’s best, don’t you think?”
Cabe nodded. “Yeah, I think that’s best.”
“You’re going to dance with me, right?”
“Hell, yeah!” Cabe put his arms around his little sister, holding her tight as he met his wife’s gaze from across the room and winked at her.
62 FULL MOON
“Do I want to know what that was about?” I asked as Dax joined me by the bar.
“What?”