“Why?” she cried out. “I’m so fucked in the head,” she said, poking her finger into her head roughly. “You could have anyone.”
“I don’t want just anyone. I want you.” Tom pulled her into his arms. “Am I enough?” She stood stiffly in his arms, her shoe dangling from her hand as she let him hug her. She pressed her face into his neck.
“I’d be crazy to say no,” she mumbled.
“But,” Tom added for her.
“I have to be honest,” she said, still not looking directly at him, still standing rigid in his embrace. “I can’t stop thinking about Danny. About the three of us together.”
“Well, we sort of took you there, didn’t we?” Tom asked ruefully. “Both of us wanting you, pursuing you and taking you. And we’re surrounded by that kind of thing. Look at Sam and King and Jane. And Cass and Beau and Marian.”
“The quarterback,” she reminded him, her lips moving against his neck, arousing him unintentionally.
“Yeah, Ty and Brian and Randi.” Ty sighed. “Maybe that’s why we want it, huh? Because we see it every day, and we see how happy they are, and we’re greedy. I want that, too. But you’re right, we can’t force Danny to be with us. All we can do is be together and hope he changes his mind.”
“He won’t,” Carmina said sadly, sniffling. She pulled away and then tossed her shoe aside. “I’m not the sort of person who can change anyone’s mind about that. You’re just screwed up, too, I guess, and so you want me. But Danny’s too smart to get involved with someone with my problems.”
—
Danny stood there, his back pressed to the wall in the hallway, listening to Tom and Carmina talk about him and what they wanted with him. Everything in him was telling him to go back into that room and give them what they wanted. What he wanted. But was it fair to them? He still had issues of his own. The sex thing. Tom had pegged him right. He burned up at night thinking about Tom holding him down and making him take it. Letting Carmina do whatever she wanted to him because he couldn’t fight them, couldn’t get away. Didn’t want to. Carmina thought she was fucked up? She should live in Danny’s head for a day.
He knew he shouldn’t want that. It ought to be a nightmare to him, instead of a fantasy. He’d seen Marian being held down and violated against her will. Physically and sexually assaulted by people she thought she could trust. So why was that something Danny craved? He’d never given in to it. Not until that night with Marian and the guys. Ty Oakes had seen it, had read Danny like a fucking book. And when Ty had gripped his wrists and held him down, Danny had totally lost control. He’d let Ty kiss him because his body was on fire and he had needed it so much. And Tom had seen it. He wished now it had been Tom who’d held him down that night, but Tom had practically been a virgin. That hadn’t stopped him from jacking Ty off and rubbing off on Ty’s ass in the process. Tom was just more adventurous than Danny, more accepting of himself and his desires. Because Tom’s desires didn’t violate every principle he lived by, the way Danny’s did. How could he hate Peltz and what he’d done to Marian when he craved it? Not from Peltz, but still.
When Carmina started putting herself down and calling herself crazy, Danny couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t leave her feeling that this was somehow her fault. He could let go for one night. It was Christmas and he wanted them. Had wanted them for a long time, since he was suddenly being honest with himself. For once he wanted to let go of all the anger and hate and embrace who he was and what he wanted with the two people he cared about. Cared? What a lame-ass word for the way he felt about them. He didn’t know why they wanted him. He was an asshole. Antisocial, too intense, anger-management issues—he was a damn mess.
“Your problems don’t have anything to do with his decision,” he heard Tom say without hesitation. That’s right, they didn’t. Even Marian had wondered. But Tom knew him better than anyone.
“Really?” Carmina said sarcastically. “He was with you the other night. I bet he didn’t tell you that it didn’t mean anything. But he couldn’t tell me fast enough the other day that our fuck didn’t mean a thing to him. He couldn’t have gotten away from me any faster. If I wasn’t around”—she hesitated for a moment, then continued in a broken voice—“he’d be with you.”
Danny walked back into the room. He didn’t say a word, just slowly sat back down in the chair and looked at them, his face illuminated only by the lights on the Christmas tree. The way they looked at him, he felt a little dangerous, like a chained tiger. Carmina’s expression was shocked, but Tom looked victorious, as if Danny’s return was his doing. And in a way Danny supposed it was, so he let Tom get away with it.
“Hands on the armrests,” Tom said quietly. Danny hesitated. “It’s for you. Let me do this for you.” Danny debated fighting it and maybe striking a balance, giving Carmina what she desired while maintaining his own dignity, but finally he slowly raised his hands and set them on the armrests. If Carmina was going to give Tom control, then so was he. “Good,” Tom told him. “Don’t move them unless I tell you to.”
Danny took a deep breath. When he let it out, it was shaky. “All right,” he agreed, his voice low and even. Tom knew him too well. He was so excited that he was barely keeping it together, and fighting it every step of the way.
“Danny, are you sure?” Carmina sounded like she was going to cry.
“Hell, yes, I’m sure,” he told her. “I do want you both. Is that what you want to hear me say? When I’m with you two I forget all that shit in my head. I need that. When I walked away a minute ago—that was the fear and the anger talking. It took everything I had to find the courage to come back out here. Now that I’m here, I’m in one hundred percent. Let’s do this. Let’s do something stupid and promise not to regret it later.”
Chapter 28
“Okay, pretty girl,” Tom said, pulling Carmina’s attention away from Danny. He kissed her forehead, and then her nose, and finally her mouth. “I want you out of your head.” She didn’t see how that was going to happen, not after what Danny had just said and done. She completely understood what a huge step this was for him. Tom was downplaying it and Carmina was trying to follow his lead, since she figured he knew Danny best, but it was damn hard. All she could think about now was getting a firsthand demonstration of what Tom and Danny had done together the other night.
Tom picked up her hand and pushed it under his shirt until her palm covered his nipple. “Feel me.” He shivered as he rubbed her hand over his chest. “Your skin is so hot. Together we’re burning this place up.” He leaned down and kissed her neck, then licked a path along her collarbone, shoving the neckline of her shirt out of the way with his nose. Tom was getting really, really good at getting her out of her head and into the moment, into her body and how good it felt. It was amazing how not thinking about what she was doing made her enjoy everything so much more.
“You taste so good,” he told her. “I’m going to taste you everywhere, and if Danny is very, very good I’m going to let him taste you, too. Because you need to know how delicious you are. Can you feel how much I want you? Sit up and take your shirt off so I can lick more of you.” Tom’s casual mention of what he was going to let Danny do sent Carmina’s heart racing.
Carmina sat up and cast a shy glance over at Danny. He was watching her, burning her with his gaze, the tree lights reflected in his eyes like flames. “Don’t think,” Tom told her. “Just do what I tell you. Everything I do is for you.” He was so serious, so sincere, and she knew he meant it from the bottom of his heart. She didn’t know how she knew. After all, he was a guy and guys said shit to get you to do what they wanted. But not Tom. She could tell he got off on making her hot, making her come. And that made her even more aroused.
She sat up and pulled her shirt off quickly, trying to do it before she could think about it. “You’re just so naturally sexy,” he whispered. “A gorgeous body, amazing skin, breasts that are the stuff dreams are made of.” She laughed in delight at his words. He m
ade her feel all those things just by saying them. “Now the bra. Show us those beautiful breasts.” She reached back and undid the clasp and her bra fell away from her breasts. The Christmas lights danced across her chest, making her skin gleam. Even she thought it was pretty. “Perfect,” Tom said. “Danny?”
“Perfect,” Danny said, his voice guttural and a little slurred, as if he was drunk on her.
Tom arched her back over his arm, so that her head was thrown back, facing Danny. She locked eyes with him as Tom ran his hand lightly over both of her breasts, making her shiver. Then he leaned over and sucked on her nipple and she moaned at the exquisite pleasure that radiated from that spot clear to her fingertips.
“Jesus,” Danny said breathlessly. She could see Danny’s fingers digging into the armrests, he gripped it so tightly. He wanted to touch her. She gasped at the powerful bolt of lust that rocked her in reaction to his desire. He didn’t even have to touch her to send her soaring. His leashed passion was the most erotic thing she’d ever seen.
Tom made a show of licking and sucking on Carmina’s breasts. She enjoyed every second of it. “Giving you pleasure at the same time I’m driving Danny crazy is the absolute best feeling in the world,” Tom told her. He cupped her breast, massaging it sensuously and she turned toward him, wanting more. Wanting Tom to make her feel more, wanting to drive Danny even more crazy. They were so in sync Tom could make them both happy at the same time. “Perfect,” he whispered again against her soft, fragrant skin. “Feel how much I want you. Danny does too. He can’t take his eyes off of us. I’m going to show him how hot you are, baby. You don’t have to do a thing. Just feel. Just let me make you feel good.” It was as if he’d crawled inside her head and pulled everything out, thinking her thoughts, sharing her desires. She relaxed into his embrace, letting it all wash over her. When he bit one nipple and pinched the other Carmina moaned and buried her hands in his hair.
“I want you naked,” Tom said. “I want to show Danny how beautiful you are. He wants you so much.”
“Can I talk?” Danny asked, his voice so low it skittered along Carmina’s nerve endings like a feather dragged across them.
Tom thought about it before answering and Carmina grew breathless with anticipation. “Yes.” When Tom finally granted him permission, Danny gave her an uneven, devilishly sexy grin.
“He’s right,” he told her. “I want you bad. I want Tom to make you fuck me while I can’t do anything. Nothing but what he tells me to do. I want him to hold me down and let you use me. I want you to come all over me with Tom watching. Own me. Use me. Make me miserable with wanting you.” He visibly shivered. “I am so fucked. But that’s what I want.”
“Oh, God,” Carmina moaned. She twisted in Tom’s arms and straddled him, grinding her pussy against his heavily muscled thigh. She could picture it all. Wanted everything Danny described.
“Up,” Tom told her. When she didn’t respond right away he picked her up and set her on her feet, as if she weighted nothing. Then he unzipped her jeans and pulled them down along with her panties. Her back was facing Danny and she felt his stare like a caress.
“Jesus,” Danny whispered. “That ass.” Tom cupped it in both palms and squeezed her ass cheeks and Danny groaned. Carmina laughed.
“You two,” she said. “Obsessed with my butt.”
“Do you think,” Tom said, lazily kissing a path down her shoulder, “that someday you’ll let me fuck it?”
“Yes, please God,” Danny said under his breath.
Carmina was a little shocked. “You want to fuck my ass?”
“Oh, Jesus,” Danny said. “Just hearing her say it, man.” He closed his eyes, still tightly gripping the armrests.
“Yeah, I want to,” Tom answered. “And I’m pretty sure Danny wants to, too.” Danny groaned his agreement as Tom ran a finger lightly down the crack in her ass. She shivered, surprised by the frisson of desire that made her wetter than she’d been just a few seconds ago.
“My body just said yes, please,” she whispered, loud enough for Danny to hear.
Tom growled and grabbed her, one hand still on her ass and the other sliding up to squeeze her breast again as he buried his face in her neck and sucked on the sensitive curve where it met her shoulder. “Kick off your pants,” Tom told her roughly. He grabbed her hands and held her steady while she did so. “Now we get to play with Danny.” He led her over to stand in front of Danny. She was so embarrassed she closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe she was naked in front of them both. About to do unspeakably erotic things with two gorgeous men. How had this become her life?
Danny lifted one hand from the chair and reached for her and Tom pulled her out of reach. “What do you think you’re doing?” he quietly asked Danny, not in reprimand, but in genuine inquiry.
“Come on, man,” Danny said irritably. “You’re seriously not going to let me touch her?”
“I’m going to do whatever you want me to do,” Tom told him calmly. “But you have to be honest with me, and even more important, honest with yourself. You said you wanted me to tell you what to do. You wanted me to hold you down, use you. You told me to make you miserable with wanting Carmina. Did you mean all that? Or is this what you want instead? To put all that aside and play by your own rules? If you’re in, you need to be all the way in. Either way.”
“I said I was.” Danny put his hand back on the armrest. “You can’t blame me for breaking the rules. For her. Haven’t you done the same?”
“I may have broken some rules,” Tom admitted, running his hand down Carmina’s side to bring it to rest on her hip. She leaned back into him, striking a pose for Danny, who looked very appreciative. “But I’m writing my own rulebook now. My personal code of conduct. Fuck anyone who doesn’t like it.”
“The Rebels may have been bad for your attitude,” Danny told him, sounding amused.
“I think the Rebels may be bad for everyone’s attitude,” Carmina said, giggling as Tom ran the back of his fingers along the sensitive skin on her side, tickling her. Tom wrapped his arms around her, cupping one breast and sliding his hand between her legs, surprising her. He glided his fingers lightly over her crease and then brought his hand to her hip. His fingers were wet from her, and the eroticism of it made her lightheaded.
“Danny needs to be naked,” Tom said. “Why don’t you help him?” Carmina bit her lip in indecision about where to begin. She was having trouble focusing.
“Can he move his hands?” she asked. “So I can take his shirt off?” He was wearing a silky black T-shirt that had been driving her crazy all night, clinging to his muscles, outlining each one deliciously as he moved. But she wasn’t going to take anything off of him if she wasn’t sure he was into this. “If that’s okay with him? I want to make sure we didn’t pressure him into this.” Suddenly she felt cold and exposed standing there in front of him.
“Can I move?” Danny asked Tom. “Just for a second?”
“Okay,” Tom told him. As soon as he got permission. Danny took her hand in his. His hand was hot and dry to the touch, callused and strong. She remembered how that hand had felt on her when he fucked her in the shower.
“I want this,” Danny told her quietly. “I do. I ran a little while ago because I was scared, not because I didn’t want it. But I realized that I wasn’t going to let fear hold me back anymore. This is what I want. I’ve been building it up in my mind for so long that I’ve got to see if it’s what I really want, if it’s what I’ve dreamed about. You know? But you have to know that I want you, regardless of all this other bullshit going on. The foundation of all that is my desire for you. The catalyst, I guess. After we fucked that morning, hell, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, about you. Never doubt that I want you, okay?”
“Okay,” Carmina said, stunned by what he was saying. He nodded, as if satisfied by her answer, and slid back in the seat, resting his hands on the armrests again.
“Replay,” he told Tom.
“
What about me?” Tom said. “Still want me?”
“Shut up,” Danny said. “Do that thing you do.”
“What thing?” Tom asked, teasing him.
“Making me crazy,” Danny said. “Nobody makes me crazy like you do.” Carmina caught her breath. Was Danny admitting, in his own way, how he felt for Tom? She thought he was, and the way Tom was gripping her tightly told her he thought so, too.
“Don’t you forget it,” Tom told him. “Carmina, you can lift one hand at a time to get his shirt off.” She did as she was told and Danny complied, not stepping out of bounds or breaking Tom’s rules. He lifted his hips when he was told to and she shimmied his jogging pants down his legs and off.
“You look absolutely gorgeous naked,” she whispered. Danny’s grin was sexy and arrogant.
“I like that,” he said.
Tom gently pushed her forward. “Straddle his lap,” Tom told her. “Don’t touch him with your hands or that ass and pussy he wants so much.” Danny dropped his head back.
“You’re killing me,” he said.
“You love it,” Carmina told him, climbing up on the chair, her knees on either side of his thighs. It was a tight fit, because Danny was so big.
“Now play,” Tom said. “I’m going to get naked right over here, in case anyone wants to watch me.” She saw Danny’s eyes darting back and forth between her and Tom, as if he couldn’t decide where to look first. She wanted his attention, so she leaned down and bit his nipple. Danny yelped in what sounded like surprised pain and Tom laughed.
“She got you,” Tom told him.
“Get me again,” Danny demanded. Carmina licked his nipple and then bit it again and he made a sexy growl. She put her hands on his sides as she sucked and licked his nipples, and she could feel his skin grow hot and damp with sweat. So she let her hands roam over all those glorious muscles. She hadn’t had the chance to explore him before, but now she had the chance and Tom’s permission. The thought made her stop for a second. Would she be doing this without Tom’s approval?
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