or future husband should. I always figured it was because of the way her parents treated her. She was seventeen and for the fourteen years of her life she could remember, her parents had been mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically abusive. I spent two years being a supportive friend, trying to get her self-esteem to where it should be. I helped her get into counseling for her suicidal thoughts. We fell completely in love along the way. I wanted a relationship after a year, but she refused to make a commitment until she felt she was fully recovered from her childhood and adolescent trauma. I respected that for over a year until she said she was ready. Unfortunately for me, that meant seeing more of her parents. The hatred I felt for them could not be expressed in words. Yet, they were still her parents and she did not want to alienate them. Her two younger siblings didn’t relieve any anxiety, either. They were loud, expressive, spoiled brats – bratty in the pure sense of the word. They talked back, didn’t listen, and acted like they ruled the house (because they usually did).
It was September when Alisa invited me to spend the weekend in the mountains with her and her family. They were renting a cabin and had room for one more guest. Lucky me. No cable TV, no Internet, and no cell service for three days. At home, I would’ve just read or slept the whole time. With her family, it was a hellish idea. I would have to listen to her family for three days with no alternative because (Alisa said) it would have been rude to just sit and read the whole time. And forget about saying “no.” It was her mother’s idea for me to go and saying “no” would offend her. I had to care about that.
So, I packed three days worth of clothes, the appropriate hygiene accessories, and a cooler full of Mountain Dew. I hugged my parents and kissed my computer goodbye. I settled into the backseat of Anna’s minivan and spent three hours with my teeth sunk firmly into my tongue, holding back everything I wanted to say. I told Alisa’s parents a rare lie, saying that riding in the backseat made me sick and lightheaded, so I could lie in bed and recover from the anxiety of the ride as soon as we got to the cabin.
The bed was so comfortable that I fell asleep in minutes. My very pleasant dream about my girlfriend and her best friend was interrupted when Alisa woke me up. It had been about an hour, and she told me that since everyone had settled in we were going out for lunch. We would go shopping on the way back for food to cook at the cabin. Dreading the idea of being in that minivan again so soon, I followed her out of the room. Then I started missing my own bedroom dearly.
Anna started yelling at Alisa as soon as she could see her. She said that Alisa shouldn’t have woken me up – that I was sick and needed to rest. She said that they could have waited until I was ready to go. Alisa told her I didn’t mind going then and that it was okay. I was smart enough not to get involved. It became a yelling match between the two, with Anna saying things that had nothing to do with what they were yelling about. Alisa was getting very upset. She tried getting Gary involved, but he wouldn’t say anything. He just let his wife say whatever she wanted to Alisa. I was getting angry, but there was nothing I could do. The argument ended with Anna telling Alisa to get in the car and that we were leaving. I followed Alisa to the van. She was crying when I sat down in the seat next to her. All I could do was hug her while she cried. I was amazed that Anna couldn’t be civil for a whole day. I shouldn’t have been, considering I already knew she was like that. I just couldn’t stand to see Alisa so upset. I asked why we even came. She didn’t answer. She knew it was a rhetorical question but I really wanted to know why she bothered to go. She knew how much trouble it was going to be. Bringing me made it even worse because Anna was embarrassing her in front of her boyfriend.
The ride to the restaurant was filled with tension. Anna and Alisa didn’t speak to each other. Gary was silent. Jake and Cady, however, were not. They were as loud and annoying as they were on the first trip. They were screaming about every car we passed, what they were going to eat at the restaurant, and something about SpongeBob. They started arguing when Jake said he was going to get chocolate milk with his lunch. Cady began to yell at him, insisting that she was going to get chocolate milk with her lunch and that Jake couldn’t get it, too. Jake said that he said it first, so Cady couldn’t have it. I tried not to listen after that. My head was spinning and they were pissing me off. Anna must have thought it was funny or cute because she was laughing. Gary was reading a magazine, and Alisa had her head buried in her lap with her hands over her ears.
The kids had been fighting for a few minutes when Alisa decided that she’d had enough. She screamed louder than them, telling them to shut up. Anna immediately came to their defense. She yelled at Alisa, telling her not to yell at Cady and Jake. Alisa yelled back, saying that they were being too loud and they were getting on her nerves. I laid my head back and tried to tune out everything around me. I missed my parents and my house. I missed my sanity. Alisa eventually stopped arguing. She didn’t seem to think there was any point. I whispered in her ear that I loved her, but I doubted it would help.
When we got to the restaurant, Gary asked Anna if she wanted to smoke a cigarette with him before they went in. Anna agreed and told Alisa to go get a table. She was glad to get away from them, even for just a minute or two. I went with her. She told the host we wanted a table for six and he seated us. Alisa laid her head down on the table and started crying again. I asked her why she put herself through that stress. She told me it was because they were family. I told her that even with family, there was a line that needed to be drawn. She apologized for her mother. I told Alisa it wasn’t her fault and that it would all be over in three days. She said it was too long.
She went to the bathroom, leaving me alone at the table, waiting on her family to arrive. They did, and Jake sat next to me. He started asking me question after question. He asked about anything he saw on me: my ring, my watch, my necklace, my shirt, my hair, my glasses, and even my mustache. It gave me a headache and I wanted to share it with him. Alisa finally came back, making her brother sit on the outside of the booth, letting her sit next to me.
When the waiter came and asked what we all wanted to drink, I panicked inside. I was anticipating the return of the chocolate milk argument. Indeed, it came. As fast as he could, Jake said he wanted chocolate milk. Cady yelled at him and said she was going to get chocolate milk, not Jake. Thankfully, Anna stopped them this time. She told them to calm down and be quiet. She said both of them could get chocolate milk. Jake and Cady stopped fighting, but neither looked happy. The restaurant didn’t have Mountain Dew, so I ordered lemonade instead.
Once the waiter left, Anna started talking to me. I had to make myself listen, as my natural reaction to her voice was to tune it out. She asked me what I was going to eat, why I chose it, and if I liked anything else on the menu. Then she questioned me about my family, asking questions she already knew the answers to. She was just as annoying as Jake and she was making my headache worse. When Anna finally stopped talking to me, I asked Alisa if she had any Tylenol in her purse. Anna must have heard me (dammit) since she asked if I had a headache. I lied and said I had a small one. She offered me something for it, even though I had already asked Alisa. Alisa told her mother that she was already getting something for me. I wished she hadn’t. Anna’s attitude changed dramatically and she reacted to Alisa in a defensive way, telling Alisa that she was just trying to be nice. She said Alisa didn’t have to “snap” at her. I hoped Alisa would have just let it go, but she didn’t. I loved her persistence, but it definitely was not a good thing when it came to Anna. She argued with her mother. She told her that she wasn’t “snapping” at her, that she had already gotten Tylenol out for me and she didn’t want Anna to worry about it. Anna argued back, saying that Alisa needed to respect her, especially out in public. Alisa said it wasn’t an issue of respect, that Anna had just misunderstood her. Anna told her to stop arguing, that it wasn’t polite to do it in a restaurant. Alisa threw her head back and sighed. I still hadn’t gotten any Tylenol.
There wasn�
��t much conversation from then on. We ordered our food and it came quickly. The kids started to argue about something while they were eating, but Jake got distracted by an odd-looking French fry that he found on his plate. We finished eating peacefully and my headache waned some. Then the waiter came and asked if we wanted dessert. I wanted to kill him. Jake and Cady started yelling over each other shouting out what they wanted for dessert. Anna quieted them down and told them she couldn’t afford dessert. They started whining and screaming because they wanted ice cream. Anna was yelling over them to get them to stop. When they finally did, she told the waiter they weren’t getting dessert and he gave her the check. Then we left the restaurant for another car ride.
Dear Missy,
Well, it took him long enough. What’s the engagement ring look like? I bet he got you a nice diamond. He loves spoiling you. Let me know when you set a date. Hopefully I will be home by the time the wedding comes around.
The girl at the market was definitely flirting with me. She asked me to take her out for lunch when I
Love, Ken Page 5