by Dyble, S R
I was having my baby.
It was finally happening.
* * *
"Lilly?" I breathed down the phone.
A lot of rustling could be heard.
"I'm here. Are you okay?"
"It happened, my waters broke."
Lilly went silent then and I prayed she'd speak again before another contraction hit. In the short amount of time that it had taken to get ready, my contractions had started. Getting stronger every time. Even Kit didn't understand how quickly they had advanced, despite his extensive research.
"Okay, babe. Everything is gonna be fine, I'm on my way."
"We're on the way to the hospital, I can't time my contractions but—urgh!"
"Eves?"
I gripped onto my seatbelt and closed my eyes, trying to channel the pain to fight through it. I felt Kit taking the phone from my hand as he drove.
"Lil?" he spoke down the phone after placing it on loud speaker.
"Is she okay?" she questioned him instantly.
"She's having another contraction. Can you meet us at the hospital, we'll be there shortly."
Kit stared at me, bringing his hand across to grip mine as I opened my eyes.
"Yes, yes. I'm on my way," she said quickly after. “I’ll ring Eves Grandparents, just get her there safely.”
“Thank you. See you soon.”
Once Kit had hung up I sat in a zone of my own, contemplating what would happen once we were at the hospital.
On our way up to the floor we needed to be at in the hospital, I had to stop a few times to stop myself from yelping in pain. Each time I found a quiet place and stood alone up against a wall, mentally trying to deal with the pain. All the while, with each contraction I felt my body changing. After being met by nurses on the labour ward, I was shown to my own private room that looked beautiful. Although, I was elsewhere and couldn't give myself long enough to analyse my surroundings. Instead, I took myself over to the window and stared out at the passing people. Just living their lives as normal. Part of me hated them, because they were carrying on as normal whilst I had to endure this pain. It didn't seem fair. The longer I stood there, the more I wished this would be over quickly so everything could go back to normal. Although, my normal would never be the same again. I was having a baby, which meant my life would be forever changed. All of this was going to be worth it. At that moment another contraction started, fogging my mind.
"So, you'll be the one here when she gives birth?" I heard Kit asking the nurse.
She introduced herself as Beatrice once we'd arrived earlier. Once my contraction had passed, she came towards me, wheeling with her a baby heartbeat monitor. I knew because she held the probe in her hand, ready to place it against my stomach.
"You're doing brilliantly, Sweetheart," she said. "We're going to check the baby's heart rate every time you have a contraction, just to make sure that they're doing okay.”
I nodded and tried to stand straight as she placed the probe against my stomach.
"Everything sounds perfect," she said after a short while of hearing our baby's heartbeat echoing from the machine.
"Do you want to get changed into something more comfortable?" she asked me, and I nodded, remembering that I'd packed a loose nighty in my maternity bag.
Once I'd left, I heard Beatrice engaging in conversation with Kit. She asked what gender we were having, and I think she was trying to keep him as calm as possible. Kit had done fantastically at getting me to the hospital, and he'd kept me calm as my contractions had gotten worse. Since arriving at the hospital, and now in the nurses care, I saw him taking a step back. Although he kept his eyes firmly on me, and hadn't sat down once. As if because I was in pain, he couldn't even allow himself to sit down. Another contraction came shortly after and I had to remain still against the bathroom wall, bracing myself as I breathed myself through it.
"Eves? You okay?" Kit opened the door and came in with me, placing his hands on either side of my body. I took the opportunity to place my head against his shoulder, and he kissed my temple.
"You can do this, baby," he said into my hair.
He gave me his hands, and I squeezed them hard until the contraction passed.
"You must be getting close now, your contractions are really close together."
I nodded and left the bathroom with him, holding his hand until the nurse directed me to lay on the bed. She wanted to do another internal examination to see how many centimetres I was dilated. The last time she'd checked on my arrival, I had been six centimetres.
"You're eight centimetres now, you're doing fantastically, Eve."
Kit smiled down at me as Beatrice left me to cover myself back up. It was pretty pointless trying to cover up, I knew this lady was going to see everything soon.
I got back up, not wanting to lay dormant on the bed. Then I made my way back over to my station over by the window, and there I bent over, awaiting another contraction. Each time, they doubled in strength. We each heard the door open again and I heard Kit saying something. I didn't turn around to see who it was, in fact, at this point in time I didn't care. Then I felt a hand on my back and smelt Lilly's perfume invading my nose.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey, I was afraid you were gonna have this baby without me."
"Like I even could? I know you'd kill me." I tried to smile despite the pain in my lower back.
"Your Grandparents are on their way.”
I nodded and closed my eyes.
“We can do this, Eves. You can do this," she said, as another contraction started.
"Why don't you lay down?"
I shook my head, gripping hard onto the window ledge, riding the pain.
"She doesn't want to. She said standing up helps the pain," Kit answered.
"The nurse said I'm eight centimeters dilated," I said once the contraction toned down.
"That's fantastic, Eves. You've done bloody brilliant."
The next contraction lasted longer, making my legs go weak from beneath me. I had no option but to lay down. Then Beatrice reappeared. Everything was such a blare from then on, and all I could focus on was the pain as everyone else spoke amongst themselves. I heard Kit's brothers being mentioned but kept quiet, wanting to shout at them all to just be quiet. The pain was making me lose my mind, the longer it lasted, the more it drained me until I was just a whimpering mess on the bed with my legs wide open for the world to see. Somewhere within me, I had to find the mental power to push myself through this. I had to, because I could feel my strength faltering.
"Okay, Eve, darling. You should feel the need to start pushing soon," Beatrice said after checking how many centimeters dilated I was now. It was so damn painful I bit onto my hand, thankful when it was over.
I glanced at Kit once my eyes opened, his face looking so bloody perfect when I knew how much of a mess I must have looked.
"Do you feel the need to push her, Sweetheart?" Beatrice asked.
"I don't know, I've never felt it—" I had to stop mid sentence because another contraction came, this time applying a huge pressure, forcing a huge weight. My body knew what it wanted, and the pain made my head fall back as I groaned and nodded.
"I'm ready, I'm ready." I said, feeling the pressure heightening inside my body.
"Okay, Eve, when the next contraction comes I want you to push as hard as you can into your bum."
I nodded and felt Kit kissing my forehead, giving me his hand, as did Lilly as I awaited the agonising pain I knew was to come. Once it did, I whimpered and took a deep breath before holding it and pushing as hard as I could. I ran the full contraction, my eyes tightly shut the full time.
"Brilliant, Eve, take a break," Beatrice said and I laid my head back.
That happened a few more times until the pain became so unreal I wasn't sure I could continue anymore.
"I don't think I can do this much longer," I admitted, feeling ashamed.
With his hand caressing my head, I felt Kit lowering
his head to mine.
"I know how strong you are. Just a few more minutes, baby and I swear it will all be over."
I did the best I could to absorb his words and as another contraction came I bit my teeth together and pushed harder, feeling my baby travelling further down with every push.
"I can see the baby's head, would you like to take a look? I can grab a mirror."
Hell no to that.
I just wanted this over with, I didn't have time to see how hideous I must have looked from that angle.
Kit did though, and managed to tell me that our baby’s hair was blonde like mine. How the hell he could tell, I had no idea…
I wasn't given long to think more about it because another contraction was coming, bigger and longer than any of the others.
"Big push, Eve!" Beatrice encouraged and I yelled in the pain.
Within seconds after, I felt the most unusual sensation as my baby left my body, causing the pain to stop almost instantly.
"Here she is!" Beatrice sang, and I heard the delighted sound Lilly made as Beatrice placed my baby directly onto my chest. Her little body wrapped in a towel, her face so beautiful and little that I feared offering her my hand would result in me breaking her. As a tear ran down my face, I fell in love with her and I could feel my body radiating with love.
Beatrice rubbed at her back, encouraging her to cry. The seconds until she eventually did felt like forever, praying she would exercise her lungs and breath for us. Hearing her little cry, and feeling her little hand wrapping around my finger, I kissed her precious little head and stared up at Kit. I'd never seen him looking like this. His face was like something I knew I'd never forget and he came closer to kiss my forehead, coughing away what sounded like a lump in his throat. He had his hand extended, holding onto our baby’s little hand as she gripped his finger tight.
When she started fussing, I took the opportunity to try our first ever attempt at breastfeeding. It was something I was totally clueless at, but was determined to do it nonetheless. Making my breast bare for her to seek out, I gently positioned her body and head the way I'd been told and like magic, my little girl opened her mouth and began nibbling her gums against my nipple until eventually she began to suckle ever so slightly. I couldn't comprehend the enormity of love that I felt watching her hands extending to hold onto my breast. I stared up at Kit, his face a priceless expression as his love portrayed through his eyes.
"Do we have a name?" Beatrice asked once I'd kissed Kit.
"I think we're going to call her Erin," I answered her and then smiled at her.
"A beautiful name," she answered as I looked up to Lilly.
She was crying and sniffled a giggle as she saw me staring. Then I looked back at Kit, knowing we'd created this beautiful little soul. I knew at that moment that I would never let another living soul harm her.
That I would give my life protecting her, then come back to life purely to protect her If I had to.
"I love you," Kit said as I shed a tear.
"I love you too, so much."
During and after Erin was feeding, Lilly took the opportunity to take photos. Then Beatrice began cleaning me up, making sure everything had successfully left my body during my labour so that she could start the process of cleaning the mess away that had been caused.
Feeling less wet and uncomfortable, I was able to lift my legs and turn. I handed Erin to Kit, smiling at him as he made sure to take his time holding her correctly. Just seeing her in his arms made my heart expand. Seeing Kit holding our baby made him look irresistible. It suited him perfectly.
I needed to wash myself quickly, and I did that in record time so that I could return to our little girl. It wasn't as easy as I thought. Having a baby took it out of me, and my body still hurt. After the pain I'd just experienced, I was happy to feel a little light cramping, and didn't care that my vagina felt like it had been battered. I was just so happy that the pain I'd felt had gone, and now I could stare at my precious little girl.
Once I sat back down on the bed, Lilly left us alone and we awaited the arrival of Kit's brothers. The short while we had alone allowed us time to bask in this moment together, and I closed my eyes as Kit kissed my forehead, laying a beautiful calm over my body.
"I knew you could do it," he said, making me smile.
"You did amazing, Eves."
I thanked him and glanced back at our baby laying peacefully in my arms, her fingers exploring her little mouth. It made us both chuckle as she yawned, her little facial expression changing and relaxing again into a sleep.
"She's so beautiful. She looks just like you," he said, hovering over us.
I shook my head, "I think she looks like you. She has your dimples, your cheeks and—"
"She has your beautiful eyes," he interrupted.
It made my insides tingle, and I smiled up at him.
"She's perfect," he added.
As I stared at her longer, I felt now more so than ever that a new chapter in my life had begun. A new start at life after all the blackness I had experienced. Of course, staring at her, I wished more than anything that my parents and brother could be here to see her. A small tear was shed thinking about them, as I gently stroked Erin's face. She was unlike anything I'd ever seen, like nothing I'd ever felt before.
She was my miracle, the light in which to lead me forward past all the heartache I'd been through.
Soon Kit's brothers piled into the room, edging slowly closer once inside. They each approached like curious children until eventually their eyes landed on Erin and their faces changed. It was a sight to behold, and as I passed Erin to Nick, Jax came towards me for a hug. He congratulated me.
"Well done, Eves," Jason said from the end of the bed. Eric agreed, coming close to hug me also.
I smiled, feeling so accomplished after making it through labour. For a second there, under so much pain and feeling so helpless, I feared that It would never end. Now, as Kit's brothers gently passed her around, sweetly supporting her head and each kissing her forehead and saying a few words, I was in awe.
I noticed Lilly recording, just as captivated as myself. She smiled at me, wiping away a tear as Erin was eventually handed to Kit. Within his arms, his brothers crowded around him, each commenting on the things she was doing or the way she looked. I was speechless, lost in the moment and in adoration for these five men that had somehow become my family.
As I sat there staring at each of them, my heart felt warm and delighted. Despite everything that had happened, as always, I felt at home with these set of weirdos. The way that they were looking at my daughter summed it up for me.
They were my people, and I was theirs.
They were my family, and I'd keep them forever.
NICK (Carsonbrothers, #3)
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S R Dyble currently lives in a town called Beverley, a short drive away from her hometown, Hull (UK).
She is a mother of two beautiful children.
When she is not chasing after them, she enjoys nothing more than daydreaming about new story plots or obsessing over new craft projects!
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I always feel like there aren’t enough words to thank the amazing people always rooting for me, for pushing me forward and supporting me no matter what!
To all of you, you know who you are, thank you so much!
Special thanks to Georgina Hannan, fellow author and amazing friend. You have been there for me so much since we first met a
nd I’d be lost without our almost daily messages back and forth!
Author Angel Nyx for proofreading EVES and showering everyone around you with constant support. You really are a true inspiration and an amazing friend.
To all my lasses, you know who you are. For waiting patiently (wink) for me to write and put EVES into your hands. Sophie, you’re badass and I love it!
My beautiful children, I am blessed and you make me stronger every day.
I love you all and can’t wait to write more of this series!
Best be bloody quick, these guys won’t stop hounding me to be written! :D