DEDICATION
For all the transgender
and gender-expansive children,
and for everyone
who loves them unconditionally
CONTENTS
Dedication
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Acknowledgments
About the Author and Illustrator
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
ONE
“Dude, you’re kidding, right?” Josh threw the baseball up with one hand, then deftly snatched it out of the air with the other.
“Sorry, man.” I shrugged. “I’ve got to go.”
“But it’s the last game. If we lose, we won’t make regionals.” Josh tossed me the ball.
I caught it and spun it in my hand. The ball felt natural there, like it belonged; that’s what I loved about baseball, it always felt right. “So win without me.”
Josh scowled. “Who’s gonna pitch? Dylan? He sucks.”
“Nah, he’s okay,” I said, even though Dylan threw two balls for every strike.
Josh scuffed his shoes along the sidewalk as we kept walking. It was already ninety degrees, way too hot for April.
“I can’t believe your mom is making you miss the game for a stupid trip.” Josh shook his head. “She’s usually so cool.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, feeling a twinge of guilt. I hated to miss such an important game, but I didn’t really have a choice. And I couldn’t even tell Josh why. He’d been my best friend since we moved to L.A. three years ago. But sometimes, lying was just easier on everybody.
Josh started to step off the curb, but Maria the crossing guard snapped, “Wait until I say okay!”
“There aren’t even any cars coming,” he grumbled.
“Maybe they’re invisible,” I offered, and Josh cracked up.
Scowling, Maria marched into the middle of the road, brandishing her sign like it was a sword as she waved us across.
“So we can go now?” Josh said. “Are you sure?”
“Don’t be jerks,” said a familiar voice behind us.
I flushed bright red as Madeline Duncan stepped off the curb. She threw Maria a radiant smile and said, “Buenos días, Señora Vasquez.”
Maria beamed back at her. “Buenos días, Madeline.”
“Suck-up,” Josh muttered as we followed.
I didn’t answer, fixated on how Madeline’s long red hair swished back and forth across her backpack as she walked. She was holding the straps, which made her elbows jut out behind her. Today she was wearing a pink skirt, bright orange leggings, and blue Converse high-tops.
“Did you catch the game last night? Giants are looking good this season, bro,” Josh said.
“Yeah, great,” I muttered, distracted. Did Madeline really think I was a jerk? I wanted to catch up and explain that we were just messing around, but then Josh would tease me about caring what Madeline thought.
I did care, though. A lot.
Just last year, a whole group of us would spend recess running around after each other playing tag. It didn’t really matter if you were a girl or a boy, because everyone was just friends. But in sixth grade that stopped, as if an agreement had been struck without anyone ever saying anything. Now the girls hung out on the benches by the swings while the boys shot hoops.
I liked basketball okay, but there were days when I really missed tag.
“What’s with you?” Josh asked, tossing me the ball again.
“Nothing,” I mumbled. Madeline had stopped to talk to a couple of her friends. She said something, and they all laughed.
He followed my gaze and raised an eyebrow. “Ooh. You like her?”
“No!” I protested, but it was too late.
Josh smirked and chanted, “Shane likes Maddie . . . Shane likes Maddie.”
I elbowed him in the ribs. “Shut up!”
“Ow.” He gave me a wounded look. “Chill, dude.”
“You chill,” I muttered back. Everyone was hustling to get through the door before the bell rang. Someone bumped me hard from behind, nearly knocking me down. I caught myself and spun around to find Nico Palmer sneering at me. He was a big kid who played for a different club team, the Mustangs; they’d gone to regionals the past five years, so they were kind of a dynasty. “Watch it!”
“Move it, loser,” he said as he shoved through the next knot of kids on the stairs. “Cardinals suck.”
“Mustangs suck worse!” Josh called after him.
“Just ignore him,” I said. “He’s an idiot.”
“Yeah, but a good hitter. You think we’ll end up playing them?”
I shrugged. “If we win.” Unlike our team, the Mustangs were pretty much guaranteed a spot at regionals.
“Maybe they’ll choke,” Josh said hopefully, tucking the baseball into the side pocket of his backpack. “See you in math?”
“Yeah, see you.” I couldn’t help it, my eyes were still locked on Madeline halfway up the stairs.
I pushed through the bottleneck and finally made it to my locker at the end of the hall. It was still so cool to have a real locker; last year, we’d hung our backpacks on pegs outside class. This felt more grown-up, like they were finally trusting us with something.
Decorating the locker was a big deal, too. I had pictures of my favorite players taped inside; all Giants, of course. Los Angeles was Dodgers country, but Mom and I had lived in San Francisco through third grade, so technically they’re my hometown team. Plus their colors are orange and black, which remind me of Halloween, which also just happens to be my favorite holiday. I mean, dressing up as whatever you want and getting free candy? It doesn’t get more awesome than that.
I took out the books for my first few classes, then hurried to homeroom. It was the only class I shared with Madeline, since she was in the gifted program, which kind of made me wish I was better at school.
The room was half empty, and Madeline was in her usual seat by the window. Sometimes, if the window was open, a breeze would send the smell of her hair over, and for ten whole minutes I was breathing in strawberry bubble gum.
I stopped and scanned the chairs, like I was trying to decide which one to take. In case anyone was paying attention, I gave a little shrug and slouched over to the one next to her. I pulled out my sketchbook to work on the drawing I’d started last night.
“That’s pretty good.”
I looked up. Madeline was smiling at me, her lips shiny with gloss. “Thanks.”
“What is it?” she asked, leaning over and scrunching up her face.
I turned the notebook toward her. “It’s an alien.”
“Cool,” she said.
I wondered if she really thought so; suddenly the drawing seemed kind of dumb. Before I could explain that I was working on a graphic novel about a space explorer, Mr. Peters came in and boomed, “Seats, please!”
The rest of the kids grumbled and scraped chairs as they took their desks.
Madeline leaned over and whispered, “Big game this weekend, right?”
“Huh?”
“Olive’s brother is on your t
eam,” she said with a smile. “He said you really need to win.”
“Um, yeah.” The fact that she even knew I played got me flustered. “But I have to go out of town with my mom.” I felt a twinge of embarrassment. In sixth grade, admitting you had parents was mortifying, even though we obviously all did.
“Bummer,” she said, making a face. “I’m sleeping over at Olive’s, so I was going to check it out. Where are you going?”
“San Francisco,” I explained. “My dad still lives there.”
“How cool! I’ve never been.” Madeline gave a little sigh. “What’s it like?”
I struggled for words to describe how it was colder, and foggier, but a lot prettier. The way that the Golden Gate Bridge looked like it was reaching out to embrace you when you crossed it, and how if you hit it at the right time of day, the sunset made the water glow like gold. But Mr. Peters started calling roll before I could answer.
The bell rang, and everyone started talking again. Over the din, Madeline said, “Have a good trip!”
“Thanks.” As we walked out together, I tried to come up with something clever and charming that would make her laugh, but my mind was blank. Kaitlyn and Olive were suddenly flanking her, talking fast and giggling, and Madeline walked away with them.
At lunch that day, Josh plunked his backpack on the bench and announced, “I’ve got it!”
I was gulping down my sandwich, keeping an eye on the basketball courts. In Los Angeles, the weather was almost always nice enough to eat outside. There was an unspoken competition between the boys to claim the bench closest to the ball bins. Whoever finished first got the best basketballs, the ones that weren’t half flat. Dylan was one bench over, already halfway through his lunch. Keeping an eye on him, I asked, “Got what?”
“Sleep over at my place this weekend!” Josh said, spreading his arms wide. “Then you won’t miss the game.”
“Can’t,” I said through a mouthful of sandwich.
“Why not?”
“Two nights is a lot,” I said, swigging some water. “I don’t think your mom will go for that.”
“Are you kidding? I swear, she likes you better than me.” Josh mimicked her, adopting a high, singsong voice. “That Shane is such a nice boy. Did you see how he held the door? Why don’t you have manners like that?”
I shoved him. He shoved me back, almost knocking me off the bench. I couldn’t help but think that a year ago, I was stronger than him.
“Anyway, I’m gonna ask her.”
“It won’t matter.” I dug through my reusable lunch sack: there was an apple, a vegan cookie, and tofu jerky. I could save all that for later; the sandwich would be enough for now.
“Why not?”
“Because”—I shrugged—“I haven’t seen my dad in a while.”
Josh gaped at me in disbelief. “Um, hello? If we lose, that’s it. No regionals. Just tell him you’ll come when baseball is over.”
I shook my head. “He’s made big plans. I can’t bail on him.”
“Like what?” Josh demanded.
“I don’t know. Plans.” I balled up my wax-paper bag and threw it at the trash can ten feet away; it cleared the rim. “Boom!”
“You know how mad everyone will be if we lose?”
“You won’t.”
“We might.”
“Then we’ll win next season,” I said, even though the thought of coming so close and then not making it was truly awful. If the Cardinals did lose, I’d be kicking myself for not being there. But I’d been counting down the days to this trip for months now. Missing that would be even worse.
Josh looked like he was actually in pain. “Dude, that’s a whole year away!”
“Sorry,” I said, getting up quickly. Dylan was already heading for the box of balls at the far end of the basketball court.
“Coach is not going to be happy!” Josh called after me, but I was already sorting through the bin, testing each ball with a bounce. Times like this, I wished I could just tell him the truth. But that would lead to a whole lot of other questions. Just thinking about them made my stomach hurt.
Using both hands, I slammed a ball down on the pavement hard, almost catching it in the face when it shot back up. Dribbling it, I asked, “So are we playing, or what?”
TWO
“Hey, I’m home!” I said loudly, closing the door behind me.
“Hi, honey!” Mom called back. “I’m with a client, be with you in a minute!”
I dropped my backpack on the hall floor and went to the kitchen for a snack. I was constantly hungry these days; watching me wolf down food, Mom always ruffled my hair and said I must be having another growth spurt. I really hoped she was right. I wasn’t the shortest kid in my class, but I wasn’t exactly tall, either.
I opened the fridge and scanned inside. Today the options were limited to soy yogurt, pickles, and hummus. Loading up my arms, I took them all over to the table.
Mom came in a few minutes later. When she saw what I was eating, she laughed. “Seriously? Yogurt and pickles?”
“You work with pregnant ladies,” I said defensively. “So this shouldn’t seem weird.”
Mom bent down and kissed the top of my head. “Not weird at all. In fact, maybe I’ll join you.”
Mom’s a midwife who helps women have babies in their houses. Apparently I was born in a kiddie pool filled with warm water. I made Mom swear a blood oath to never tell my friends; if Josh ever found out, I seriously wouldn’t hear the end of it.
Mom got a soy yogurt out of the fridge and pulled up a chair. Digging a spoon in, she eyed my head. “It might be time for another haircut.”
I ran a hand through my hair self-consciously; ever since I turned eight, I’ve kept it super short, almost a buzz cut. She was right; it was much longer than usual. “Before we see Dad?”
Mom’s eyes softened. “That’s up to you.”
I focused on my yogurt. “Let’s go tomorrow after school.”
“Great.” Mom set the spoon on top of her napkin. “You know, you could always stay with me at Stella’s.”
“Dad’s expecting me,” I said without looking up.
“I know, but . . .” Mom tucked a finger under my chin, lifting it so I was forced to meet her eyes. “He’s not always supportive, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with him. Okay?”
I nodded. To be honest, I was a little nervous about spending the weekend with Dad. I’d stayed with him for a full week over Christmas, and let’s just say it hadn’t gone very well. I’d only seen him once since then.
“Whatever you decide is fine,” Mom said gently. “I can clear it with your dad.”
“It’s cool. I want to see him.” I polished off my yogurt. “It’ll be fun. He said he’s got a surprise for me.”
After dinner, I sat down at my desk and started drawing. I always lost track of time when I worked on my graphic novel; it was kind of like stepping into another, more exciting world. Not that my normal life was bad, but I wasn’t exactly fighting aliens.
I’d started working on it last year. Before then I’d mainly messed around, trying to copy panels out of comic books. Major Victory, from the original Guardians of the Galaxy. Nova. Thanos. My favorites were sci-fi stories where the characters visited different planets, met strange new beings, and saw incredible things.
So the idea for my own graphic novel came from there. It was part Guardians of the Galaxy, part Star Trek, part Firefly (the best TV show ever, hands down). My hero was Hogan Fillion; Hogan, because that was the name of our dog when I was little, and Fillion after the actor who played Malcolm Reynolds, captain of the Serenity on Firefly.
Anyway, something terrible happened on Earth, killing pretty much everyone and making it uninhabitable. Hogan escaped in a spaceship and set off to find a way to save the planet. Along the way, he picked up an alien orphan that he named Willoughby. Willoughby is kind of like a hairless Ewok; but he shoots sparks when he’s angry, which gets them out of a lo
t of tough situations.
Hogan doesn’t have any special powers, but he’s smart and funny and strong. He loves baseball (of course), and he loves Earth and he’ll do anything to fix it. Along the way, they run into all sorts of aliens—some friendly, some not—and have a lot of adventures.
I’m almost done with it, which is kind of crazy. I thought it would take years, but I work on it every day after finishing my homework (and sometimes in class, which Mom wouldn’t be happy about if she knew). On vacations and weekends, I draw for hours.
I know Josh doesn’t totally get it. I’ve shown him a few pages, and all he said was, “Man, I wish I had muscles like Hogan.”
Me too. In fact, I might’ve made Hogan too muscular, to make up for how scrawny I am.
Tonight I was finishing the final chapter. Hogan has almost reached a planet where he hopes to convince the wise alien overlords to lend him technology that will save Earth. I was carefully penciling in Willoughby when Mom knocked on my door.
“Bedtime,” she said.
“Sure,” I answered. “Just one more sec.”
She came in and peered over my shoulder at the outline of Hogan’s ship, the Maverick, approaching a giant moon. “Wow, Shane. That’s really good.” Flipping back a page, she asked, “Who’s this?”
“Uh, no one,” I said, quickly turning the page back. She’d pointed to a panel where Hogan is kissing an alien girl with long red hair and purple skin. I’d realized after drawing her that she looked a lot like Madeline. Except for the purple skin, of course.
“I see,” she said lightly. “Well, I can’t wait to read it. What are you going to do with it?”
“Not sure,” I said, carefully brushing eraser dust off my desk into my hand. “I haven’t really thought about it.” Actually, I had fantasies of sending it to Marvel. They’d be impressed enough to print a million copies, and then we’d be rich and famous. But realistically, I knew they probably wouldn’t hire a twelve-year-old.
“Well, I think it’s amazing.” Mom kissed the top of my head. “Now go brush your teeth.”
“Yes, sir,” I said, giving her a mock salute.
After she left, I took a minute to look over the panels. I still had to figure out the ending, but I was close. Maybe when it was done, I could make copies and give one to Madeline. I wondered if she’d recognize herself.
The Other Boy Page 1