Chapter 43
July 1998
Three days before…
Neve couldn’t help looking back at Jamie. The security light outside the fire-exit door shone just enough to illuminate his body. And as they had fooled around in total darkness, it was the first time she had seen a boy semi-naked. He didn’t try to cover himself, but smiled at her, content, without a care in the world. It wasn’t often she saw him so at peace; it made him even more attractive to her. She mouthed a goodbye and he waved before rolling onto his side and grabbing a cigarette to light.
‘Want one?’ he asked, and nodding, Neve stepped back into his bedroom, glad for the excuse not to leave. She wanted to get back into bed with him, take her clothes off and kiss him, her skin pressing into his until they both fell asleep. But she didn’t do anything about it, she felt too nervous. So, taking the lit cigarette from his hand, she walked to his bedroom window and leant outside, enjoying the sound of crickets that chirped in the long grass opposite. She took one long drag, blowing the smoke up into the clear night sky – and then he was by her side, his shoulder touching hers, their bare arms in contact from the shoulder to the elbow. And they smoked together, looking out into the darkness, hearing the sound of a summer night. It reminded her of when she was young, the evenings when they went on bike rides as the sun set, Chloe perched on her handlebars screaming as Neve peddled faster and faster. Jamie was there too, riding side by side. Almost as close as they were now. Neve turned and watched him smoke, oblivious of her. She could see his features without him knowing. Only a few nights before, she sat in her bedroom looking at the mine, wondering if Jamie had gone off her. Upon his return that night from Nottingham, he showed more interest. Neve found herself in the pub, when the others were elsewhere, waiting for him to finish his shift so they could walk to the hut together and join them, the lane providing the perfect, secretive place to kiss. She didn’t know why he had gone from being so distant to so close but suspected that the boys adding a little pressure had something to do with it. She was grateful for it.
Just as she started to wonder what might happen next, and when they might do more than just kiss and fool around, Jamie spoke, his eyes looking towards the headstocks.
‘There is something about that building, isn’t there?’
‘It’s spooky.’
‘It’s more than that. It’s like it was once alive, and now it’s dead.’
Neve nodded, taking another drag on her cigarette. ‘Georgia thinks they will likely fill it in.’
‘Yeah, she’s probably right,’ he said, downbeat. ‘Shame. I’ve always felt drawn to it; I was sure I’d end up working down there. I know my dad has the pub, and he’ll probably want me to take over it when he’s older, but I felt I’d be a miner. Like my granddad. It’s kinda sad I’ll never know what it’s like to be that far underground. People say it’s closer to hell. But I don’t see it like that.’
‘No?’
‘No, it’s closer to the centre of the earth. Closer to life than anything else.’
Neve looked at Jamie; he didn’t look back, his attention fixed on the mine and Neve could see something in his gaze, a sadness, a longing perhaps. The future for Jamie wasn’t set, anything could happen, and he knew it. She couldn’t help feeling attracted to him even more.
‘Jamie, do you really want to go down the mine?’
‘I just always assumed I would,’ he said, still looking out towards it.
‘Then let’s do it. Let’s go down, all of us.’
Jamie turned, and as he spoke his caution, she could see he was excited by the idea. ‘We could get into a lot of trouble.’
‘Only if we get caught. And no one will care. No one has found us at the hut, have they?’
‘No, they haven’t,’ he smiled.
‘It will be the same. And it will be good for us. What do you think?’
‘Are you sure? It seems risky?’
‘Maybe, but aren’t the best things a little risky? I mean, wouldn’t it be cool to go and find your granddad’s ghost?’ she smiled.
‘Yeah, it would.’
‘In that case, Jamie, truth or dare.’
Jamie didn’t reply, instead he flicked his cigarette out of the window, stepped into her space and kissed her before guiding her back to bed.
She didn’t expect the first time she had sex to feel so good. It hurt, like she knew it would, but it wasn’t just sex; she and Jamie connected. He was gentle, reassuring. She was too, it was the first time for both of them. Neve wanted to stay all night, sleep in his arms, but she needed to leave. So, after she dressed, she kissed him on the cheek as he drifted to sleep, and snuck down the fire escape. Just before she closed the door, Jamie spoke, his voice sleepy.
‘Goodnight, Buttercup.’
Buttercup. Her first-ever pet name. She loved it.
After carefully making her way down the metal stairs of the pub’s fire escape, Neve turned onto the main road and started her quiet walk home. The pub had long kicked out the final few hardy patrons, and with the mine being shut, she knew she wouldn’t bump into anyone just starting or ending one of the weird shift patterns the whole village revolved around. It was strange, she had grown up in a place that never fell silent. As she got close to Chloe’s she could see the lights on in most of the windows, and from Chloe’s bedroom window Neve could see a small red glow wax and wane in intensity as Chloe smoked.
‘So?’ came a voice from behind. Neve pretended she didn’t hear, and hoped it was too dark for Chloe to see she was both smiling uncontrollably, and blushing. It wasn’t until Neve was directly under the window she could see her friend.
‘Have you been at your window all evening, waiting for me to come past?’
‘Of course I haven’t,’ Chloe replied a little unconvincingly. ‘Well, what else am I gonna do in the shitty place? You and Jamie are the only bit of excitement lately.’
‘That’s sad,’ Neve whispered back.
‘It’s shit,’ Chloe replied. ‘Anyway, so, did you…’
‘Chloe, I’m not saying.’
‘That’s a yes then.’
‘I better go, Mum and Dad will go ballistic if they find out I’m not in bed.’
‘Aww come on, I want all the juicy details!’
‘Chloe, I really have to go. What time should I come over tomorrow?’
‘Anytime. Mum goes to work at eight so the house is ours.’
‘OK, great, I’ll be over tomorrow.’
‘And you promise to tell all?’ she teased.
‘Yes, I promise.’ Neve paused. She could sense there was some other reason for Chloe being at her window. Something more than just to gossip about her and Jamie. ‘Are you all right? It’s really late.’
Even in the low light, Neve watched the smile drop from her face. ‘Yeah, just have a hard time sleeping these days.’
‘Chloe – have you seen him tonight?’
Chloe didn’t need Neve to explain who the ‘him’ was. ‘No, not tonight.’
‘Last night?’
‘Yep. About where you’re stood now.’
Neve shuddered and took an involuntary step to her right. She didn’t like the idea of standing in the same space as the Drifter.
‘Fucking weirdo.’
‘Yeah, fucking weirdo,’ she smiled, but Neve could see she was freaking out. From behind Chloe there came a shout from her mother.
‘Are you smoking out of that fucking window?’
‘No, Mum,’ Chloe shouted back over her shoulder before rolling her eyes towards Neve. ‘Shit, I better go. See you tomorrow, you little slut.’
‘Piss off,’ Neve replied, again blushing. Chloe smiled, dropped her cigarette into the bushes below and closed her window, leaving Neve to walk the rest of her way home, the silence wrapping around her once more. Chloe’s unease transferred to her, making her aware of that silence. It had taken the shine off her perfect evening.
At the top of the hill, Neve expected her house
to be silent and still, so she was shocked to see the front door wide open, light from within spilling out onto the footpath. She thought she had been caught, and her heart thumped in her ears. They would ask her where she had been, and she would try to lie. But she knew she was a terrible liar. It wouldn’t take long for them to know she was with Jamie, in his room, alone. Instead, the shape of her mum filled the doorway, a large suitcase beside her. She had her head low until she was only a few feet away from Neve. When she looked up, she jumped, unable to hide her shock.
‘Neve?’
Neve looked from Mum – who clearly had no idea she was out late – towards the suitcase, the side bulging from being so full.
‘Mum. What are you doing?’
‘I…’ She hesitated, looking around as if trying to pull an answer out of thin air. ‘I could ask you the same thing. I thought you were in bed?’
‘No.’
‘Where have you been?’
‘Out. Where are you going?’ she said, gesturing to the suitcase.
‘I umm – I’m going to see my sister.’
‘Why?’
‘Because. I just am.’
‘When are you coming back?’
Neve’s mum didn’t answer but looked down at the suitcase, fiddling with the zips.
‘Mum, you are coming back, right?’
She didn’t respond.
‘Mum?’
‘I’m sorry, Neve. I can’t stay here anymore, I just can’t.’
‘What do you mean, you can’t stay here?’
‘This place, it has nothing left for anyone anymore. I just can’t…’
‘But what about Dad?’ Neve asked, tears beginning to fill her eyes. ‘Mum, were you going to go without saying goodbye?’
Neve waited for her mum to say something of comfort, to offer an excuse, but she couldn’t. She thought Neve was asleep upstairs. Neve knew she had no intention of saying goodbye to her daughter.
‘Neve, come with me?’
‘You were just gonna leave without saying goodbye?’
‘I didn’t want to wake you. Come with me?’
‘Have you said goodbye to Dad?’
Again, she didn’t reply. Her words caught somewhere in her stomach.
‘I’ll wake him. He needs to know.’
‘No, Neve.’
‘You just can’t… Dad!’ Neve called and was shocked when her mum came and placed a hand over her mouth, trapping her voice.
‘Neve, please, don’t,’ she begged. ‘Please. I need to go, if I talk to your dad, he’ll stop me.’
‘So, let him stop you.’
‘I can’t, Neve, I just can’t.’
‘Do you not love us anymore?’ Neve cried, stepping back, waiting for the blow of learning she didn’t.
‘Of course I do, I love you both.’
‘Then why…’
‘This place is killing me, just like it’s killing your dad. I’m sorry, I really am. Come with me. We can go to London, there’s so much to do there.’
‘No, Mum, my friends are here. I’m starting college in September.’
‘You can start college there.’
‘No, Mum, I can’t,’ she cried. A sob that felt different to anything she had experienced before. The second part of her childhood dying on one evening. ‘Who will look after Dad?’
Neve’s mum opened her mouth to say something but stopped herself. Instead, she offered an apologetic smile, grabbed the strap of her suitcase, half lifting, half dragging it down the path.
Neve stepped into the house and as her mum turned off the path to be hidden by bushes that lined the front garden, she shut the door. Quietly taking off her shoes, she moved towards the stairs and jumped when she saw her dad in the living-room armchair. He was facing the TV, although the TV wasn’t on. She opened her mouth to say something – an apology for sneaking out of the house – but no words would come.
Going upstairs and into her bedroom, she opened her window and watched her mum battle her way downhill towards a taxi which was waiting at the bottom of the road. Neve watched until her mum loaded her case into the boot of it, climbed into the back seat and drove away. She didn’t look back, she didn’t reconsider, or have a moment where she doubted what she was doing. She just left. Neve’s eye was drawn up towards the mine and a shiver ran down her spine as one of the headstock wheels was gently turning, inviting her. She realised that nobody gave a shit about her besides Jamie; nobody gave a shit about her friends either. They could do what they wanted, including going down into the forbidden mine because nobody gave a fuck about anything other than themselves. Sitting on her bed, she felt the need to cry. But now, no tears would come.
Chapter 44
2nd December 2019
Afternoon
I knew Michael was right when he told me that the Drifter was after us – only us – but still, I couldn’t help but worry for my dad. So, we drove back home. When we arrived, the house was empty. It probably meant nothing, and yet I couldn’t stop myself from feeling a dread wash over me. We left and spent the next hour driving around the village, trying to find him. I wanted to stay out all afternoon. Hastings saw us from outside the pub on two occasions as we passed, and I knew he would be suspicious, so we headed back to Michael’s and waited. I tried ringing Dad’s landline every twenty minutes or so and felt relieved when I managed to get hold of him just after 4 p.m.. The relief I felt was like nothing I had felt before. My dad was OK. He was home. When I asked where he had been, he said he’d been in the pub. It surprised me. He mentioned Holly, asked if I knew. I said I did and offered no more information. I asked about the memory test, he told me it went well. I could sense a lightness in his voice, which made me believe him. And if it went well, then things weren’t as bad as we thought.
As the evening drew on, Michael and I sat on opposite sides of the sofa in his living room. In spite of everything, I knew I couldn’t outrun this thing anymore. Twenty-one years of careering away from that night, twenty-one years of outsmarting everyone had come back on us. I refused to accept that we just had to wait for him to arrive and pick us off. There was another alternative. One I’d refused to consider.
‘Michael, what if we came clean?’
‘What!?’
‘What if we went to the police, told them everything, told them about that night, what happened, what we did.’
‘Neve. We’ll go to jail!’
‘Yes, we probably would. We deserve to, don’t we?’
He sighed. ‘Yes, we do. How will it help if we came clean now?’
‘We can lead them to Chloe. We can take ownership of what happened. And then, maybe the Drifter will stop? Or maybe, if we lead them to Chloe, we will find him.’
‘I don’t think he will stop, and I don’t think the police will find him either. He’s taken… he’s hurt four of us.’
‘I guess.’
‘We can’t go to the police – we’ve missed our window, we’ve missed it by twenty-one years. We have to stick to the plan. Keep them focused on the crimes now, find the Drifter now and then they will charge him for Chloe too, and we can get on with our lives.’
‘I’m not sure how we can just get on…’
‘We managed to before, didn’t we? We have to do it again.’
‘So, what do we do?’
‘We wait.’
‘What if he doesn’t come here? What if he doesn’t know about this place?’
‘Everyone in the village knows about this place. He’ll come. I can feel it. And then we make him take us to our friends.’
He nodded solemnly at me. It was important to be hopeful, I guess. So, we had to stick it out, we had to wait for the Drifter to come for us, like he had the others. We had to be ready, ambush the man who was ambushing us.
Hour after hour ticked by slowly as we holed up and prepared for the Drifter to come, and just after 8 o’clock my mobile rang, the number display showing me it was Thompson.
‘Shit, what should I say?�
�
‘Ignore it.’
‘If I ignore it, he’ll come looking for me.’
‘Then say something about us being scared, gone into hiding. Don’t know who to trust.’
I nodded and answered the phone.
‘Neve, where are you? Are you OK?’
‘Yes, I’m fine. I’m with Michael.’
‘Thank God. I was worried. I went to your dad’s and you weren’t there.’
‘Sorry, I should have said something. I got spooked. Is there any sign of Holly?’
‘No, not yet. They’ve deployed more officers from Nottingham to help with the search. Hastings is pissed off.’
‘Can you tell me anything?’
‘There was no sign of a forced entry into Holly’s, which means she let him in. It’s someone she feels she can trust.’
I looked over to Michael, who looked back, nervously. And I wondered why. ‘Hastings won’t talk to me, but I suspect the same could be said for Dr McBride, possibly the others too. And although it’s not confirmed, the police strongly believe the top does belong to the doctor.’
‘And the village?’
‘Busy. More reporters from major stations. More people in the streets being interviewed, sharing their speculations. Where are you both?’
‘I’d rather not say.’
‘Why?’
‘Because…’ I looked to Michael for reassurance, he bit his lower lip, his right eye showed the signs of a stress twitch. ‘Because the Drifter is able to take people without leaving any traces of his presence. And you said yourself, the Drifter could be anyone. I don’t know who to trust.’
‘You trust Michael?’
Michael got up, walked away, lit a cigarette. ‘I do, yes. He and I are in the same situation, aren’t we?’ I didn’t know why I added a question mark.
‘Yes, I guess you are. You’re right to not trust me.’
‘Am I?’
‘I’d not trust me if I were you. Sit tight. I’ll find him.’ Thompson hung up and I kept the phone to my ear for a while longer than I should.
‘What did he say?’
‘Whoever took Holly, she let them in, it’s someone she knows. Someone close.’
‘That could be anyone,’ he said too quickly. ‘Holly was popular with her yoga friends, Mum friends, pub friends. It hardly gives us a list of people we could look at.’
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