by Kate Douglas
He hadn’t made any declaration like Tuck had to Elle, essentially telling her she was his and talking about a future. It felt as if Lawz was hedging his bets, but she wasn’t sure why. The attraction between them was off the charts, and they truly enjoyed each other’s company, but for whatever reason, while he’d talked about not wanting to let her go, he hadn’t asked her to stay.
Maybe she needed to ask him. Men could be so obtuse sometimes.
With that plan simmering in the back of her mind, she went back to her book. She shouldn’t have been surprised when Cherry offered the loan of a terrific werewolf romance. So far, though, Dar thought Lawz was a lot sexier than the hero in the story.
_____________
Meg stretched and yawned. They’d been out on the deck for the past couple of hours while Traker talked about the pack history. He’d told Zach that he had to trust him to keep their secret, but he didn’t want Meg’s friends to feel they couldn’t talk openly with him and Meg. Trak didn’t think that was fair to their friendship. At first, Zach thought they were making fun of him, but then Cain had dropped his pants and turned into a wolf right there in front of them.
He’d never seen anything so astounding, so flat-out mystical, in his life. He’d held on to Meg’s hand and realized what had to be impossible was happening right in front of him, and somehow, that made just about anything possible.
Even Meggie loving him. Damn, but he wished he knew what was wrong.
“Zach, honey? I’m going back to the cabin to take a nap. If I don’t show up for dinner, will you come wake me?”
“Of course I will.”
She leaned over and kissed him. Her lips felt warm and soft, but her eyes were sad. She’d been sad since he’d gotten here. At first, he thought she was worried about him, but then he began to suspect it was something more. He honestly didn’t know what it might be, and if it was that she didn’t love him anymore, he didn’t want to know.
He watched her follow the trail until she disappeared into the woods. He’d gotten to be friends with Traker, both of them stuck on the deck healing. The man was the pack alpha, a leader, and he definitely had the pulse of his pack. Nothing got by him.
“Trak? I need some advice. What the fuck is wrong? Meggie’s just …”
“Do you love her?”
“What?” Frowning, he stared at Trak. Maybe the guy wasn’t all that smart. “Good lord, man. Of course I do. Why do you think I was driving down here when I wrecked my car? I missed Meggie so much I couldn’t stand it. I’d been awake all night and finally got up at three because all I wanted was to be with her. Why would you ask me that?”
Trak smiled, sort of a big Cheshire cat grin. “Then maybe you need to tell her.”
“I tell her I love her all the time. I asked her to marry me. I’ve never asked any woman to marry me, figured it wouldn’t happen, but when she came along, I knew she was the one.”
“Zach, I knew Meg was troubled as soon as she got here. The others were laughing and teasing the guys, having a great time, and she was keeping to herself, sort of quiet. Even her friends knew something was wrong.”
“Do you have any idea what?”
“I do. Some I got from her friends, some from Meg when I asked her, and she told me the whole convoluted story. What it comes down to is that Meg doesn’t think she’s good enough for you. She’s afraid you’re going to wake up about a week after you’re married and realize you made a mistake.”
“I don’t understand.” He shook his head. Trak couldn’t be right. Could he?
“Another thing. Jules once had an abusive boyfriend. Dar asked Meg if you were abusive.”
“Me?” Zach shook his head. “Hell, no. My father treated my mother like shit. Her spirit was totally broken by the time I came along. I would never treat a woman like that.”
“Meg denied it, and then she went on to list enough qualities to make you sound like a fucking saint.”
He laughed then, but Zach still didn’t get it. “At least it’s not just me thinking she’s unhappy. Do you have any idea why?”
“Yeah. It’s simple. She said you’re so wonderful, she can’t believe you really love her because she’s nothing.” He held up his hand when Zach interrupted. “I’m just repeating what I heard the others talking about after a hike they took together. That’s when they confronted her. I guess Meg’s family life wasn’t very supportive. Her mother and father were way too open about the fact they hadn’t wanted her, that if not for a broken condom she’d never have been born and they wouldn’t have married. That’s a horrible thing to tell your child, and Meg’s self-esteem is in the gutter. Not professionally. I get the feeling she’s afraid that she’s such a good personal assistant that you’re marrying her to make sure she stays on.”
He stared at Trak for the longest time, going over conversations with Meggie since he’d arrived. Nothing. “I can’t believe that. Shit.” He sat there on the deck with his head in his hands and tried to recall if he’d ever told Meggie why he loved her as much as he did. He’d tried to show her. Their sex life was amazing—shouldn’t that convince her? He said as much to Trak.
Who laughed way too much for Zach’s peace of mind.
“Zachary my friend, that is such an egotistical, totally misogynistic statement that it’s one for the records. That good sex is Meg’s gift to you. Don’t ever think otherwise. In the pack, we treasure our women. They’re a powerful part of our world, the stability that keeps a pack healthy. That’s why we’re so desperate to find mates. I would suggest you go back to your cabin right now and tell Meg exactly why you made that long trip from Portland. Let her know you would follow her anywhere, do anything for her. She makes you whole, Zachary Trenton. But she doesn’t know that because you’ve never told her how you really feel.”
“You’re right.” He felt like such an ass. “I need her more than I like to admit. I didn’t want her to think I was a neurotic weakling.”
Trak grinned at him and shook his head, laughing. “Idiot. You were afraid to tell her the truth. You are a weakling. Not so sure about the neurotic part, but man up, Zachary.”
Zach didn’t get pissed, but he didn’t laugh, either. Inside he was laughing at himself, and it wasn’t a pleasant feeling. Trak was right on all counts. He stood, reached out, and shook the man’s hand. “Thank you. It appears I have some groveling to do.”
“It appears you do.”
Trak was still chuckling as Zach took the trail to Meg’s cabin.
Dar glanced up as Lawz pulled into the parking lot in his shiny red pickup truck. It was flashy, like something you’d see a good old boy driving down the freeway with an American flag flapping from the back, except he wasn’t a flashy guy. One day, if they ended up together, she’d have to ask him about it.
She thought he’d go straight to the lodge to check in with Trak, but instead, he cut across the lawn and walked over to her and her spot under an umbrella by the pool. “Hey!” She pulled off her dark glasses and smiled at him. “I wondered when you’d get back.”
He shrugged. “Had some things to take care of.”
“Did you get them done?”
“I did.” He grabbed a chair at another table, dragged it over to a spot directly across her small table, and sat facing her. He took both her hands in his and looked at her so directly she felt as if he could read the small print inside her. “Darian, I’ve been doing some checking with a TV station in Eureka. It’s a network affiliate and covers a lot of the North Coast. I mean, it’s not huge, not Portland huge, anyway, but I asked if they might have a spot for a talented newscaster from the Portland area. I told them who you were, and the station manager jumped on the idea as soon as I mentioned your name. Said he’s heard only good things about you.”
She didn’t say anything, but there had to be a damned good reason why he’d been checking on something like that behind her back. Maybe she wouldn’t have to ask him that commitment question after all.
“The thing
is, Dar, I want you to stay with me. I mean, I know I have to let you go for a week—that dumb rule we all agreed to—but I want you to want to come back here with me. To live with me as my mate. I spend most of my time in Eureka and parts north, and I’ve got a nice house over there, but this will always be my home.” He shrugged, but because he knew structure was important to women, he added, “I’ve got a sturdy little place here, too, though I don’t live here much. Do you think you could love me, Dar? Because I’m already almost there with you. I just want to know you better, but we’d have all the time in the world ahead of us.”
She stood, leaned over the table, and kissed him. “I am so glad you asked, silly. I’ve been sitting here wondering if I needed to ask you, because there’s no way in hell I’m letting you go. I can easily see spending the next sixty or so years beside you.”
She did like that smile of his, though she wasn’t quite sure what he meant when he chuckled softly, glanced away, and then focused those sparkling brown eyes on hers.
“Well, Dar.” He actually laughed harder. “That sixty years? That’s something else we probably need to discuss …”
Zach opened the door to Meg’s cabin quietly, in case she’d fallen asleep. She was lying on the bed, still dressed in the long skirt and tank top she’d had on, but she wasn’t sleeping. No, even though her back was to him, it appeared she was crying.
Traker must have nailed it, and Zach was an absolute ass.
He walked around the bed and sat on the edge beside her. He didn’t look at her. He couldn’t, because Trak was right about something else. Call it a hangover from his father’s brand of parenting or pure cowardice on his part, but he couldn’t face Meggie while he confessed what a jerk he was. How afraid he was to tell her the truth.
Instead, he reached for the box of tissues beside the bed and handed it to her. She blew her nose and got herself under control. He only knew it from the sounds, because he still couldn’t look at her. Didn’t want to see how miserable he’d made her because he was such a fucking coward. Finally, he heard her draw a shaky breath, and knew he’d run out of time.
“Meggie, do you have any idea how much you mean to me? No.” He shook his head. “Don’t answer that, because it’s obvious you don’t, and that’s my fault. You probably don’t even know why I had that stupid accident.”
“Because a bear ran in front of your car?”
He laughed, but the sound was torn out of him. “Well, that and the reason why I was headed down here, driving like a bat out of hell. See, I’d slept okay the first night you were gone, but Monday night slid into Tuesday morning, and when I was still awake at three and missing you so much it was like an amputation because part of me was just gone, I threw some stuff in my backpack and hit the road. I even turned my phone off so, on the off chance you called me, I couldn’t answer, because I can’t lie to you, Meggie.”
He turned then and took her hands in his. “I can’t lie to you, and I was scared to death if you called and I told you I was coming to see you, you’d tell me to go home. That you didn’t want me here. And you shouldn’t have, because it’s your fucking bachelorette party, which means no men, but I kept thinking you were using this time to convince yourself I didn’t love you when I love you so much it scares me. You have so much power over me. You could destroy me so easily. You’re my anchor, Meggie. The one person in the whole world I know will love me no matter what. I’ve never had that before, not from my parents, not from friends, and never from a girlfriend. I’ve never had anyone like you in my life, but you’re the one person I’ve hoped for all along. If I ever lose you, I lose everything that’s important.”
“Zach? I don’t understand. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. You’re absolutely perfect, but …” She turned her face away, wouldn’t look at him.
The truth hit him, then. So damned simple he’d been an idiot not to see it. “No, Meggie. I’m not perfect. I’m so far from it, but maybe I’m perfect for you. And no matter what you think of yourself, I know you’re exactly the woman I want. The one I need. The one I love beyond measure. Can we let it go at that, accept the fact we’re both probably neurotic as hell but lucky enough that each of us has found exactly the right person to love?”
“Yes,” she said, covering her mouth with one hand, blinking away tears. “I can do that.” She was laughing and crying at the same time, so that it was hard to understand her, except he knew exactly what she meant.
“Good,” he said, nuzzling that sweet spot behind her ear. Breathing a deep sigh of relief. “Me, too.”
CHAPTER 13
Friday
The guys were down at Growl for a morning meeting. In spite of all the drama this past week, they had guests showing up on Sunday. Cherry was upstairs in her home office, catching up on work she’d missed while on her honeymoon.
Elle and the rest of the gang of four, along with Zach, huddled around a small table in the dining room. “So, ladies.” She smiled at Zach. “And token gentleman.” He saluted with his cup of coffee. “This is our last full day here, but I wanted to let you know that I’m not leaving.”
“What? You’re shittin’ me!” Dar’s bark of laughter had everyone cracking wise.
“Nope. I’m not a child, and until Tuck bites me, I’m not subject to Trak’s rule as alpha. I talked to Tuck about it last night. That stupid one-week rule was set up for women who didn’t know what they were getting into. I know. So do you, Jules, and you, too, Darian. Tuck likes having me as his assistant almost as much as he loves me in his bed. And that works both ways. I’m staying with Tuck, and I suggest that if you’re sure about your feelings for your guys, you two do the same.”
Dar nodded agreement. “Lawz and I talked about this last night, too. I need to go back to give notice at the station and clean out my apartment, but I don’t want to stay away. My contract is actually up for renewal this month, but I wanted to do it after this trip.”
“Good plan!” Meg high-fived her.
“Yeah, by accident. I sure didn’t plan on Lawz! I was thinking of holding out for more money. Never dreamed it would leave me free to quit. Lawz wants to make the trip with me so we can go to the station in Eureka first and get me locked in there for the job before I give notice in Portland, then figure out what stuff I need to keep and what I can dump. What about you, Jules?”
She merely shrugged. “I don’t have a job to quit, and my apartment lease is up next month. That’ll give me time to move, but I don’t want to leave here at all. I’m ready to start life with two men I’m definitely falling for, and fast. It’s almost scary how much they mean to me.”
Elle stood. “I say we make a short walk to Growl and present our case to the gentlemen in question. Trak’s still not entirely recovered—Cain took him down to Growl in the truck. Maybe he won’t have the energy to argue.”
“One can hope.” Jules stood and glanced at the others. “Meg? You don’t have to come, but I wish you would. You too, Zach, though I don’t want to interfere with your man standing with the guys.”
Zach stood and held out a hand to Meg. “My man standing is with the ladies, because I agree with you. Strength in solidarity, right?”
They all clasped hands in the center of their impromptu circle. Elle felt like part of an uprising. It was a heady experience. Then the phone in the office rang.
Meg raised her hand. “Business calls. I told Brad I’d take any calls that came through. Back in a flash.”
“I don’t want Elle to leave, Trak. She’s slipped into place as my assistant, and she already feels like my mate. I love her. The week apart doesn’t make sense when she already knows what she’s getting into.”
“Same here.” Lawz glanced at the guys before speaking directly to Trak. “And we’re dealing with a time issue. Dar’s contract is up at the station in Portland, but she doesn’t want to step away until she’s legally locked into the job in Eureka. It’s a huge switch for her, going from weathergirl to news desk with a path to a
nchor. It needs to be done as soon as possible.”
Manny and Drew looked at each other and laughed. “We just don’t want Jules to leave, period.” Manny grabbed Drew’s hand. “Once we got together and included Jules, hell, it’s like our lives have opened up. Lots of possibilities ahead.”
“And laughter.” Drew shook his head. “She’s brought an element of laughter to our lives that’s been missing way too long.”
Trak had sort of expected this, but he still didn’t know how to deal with it. Sometimes it felt as if this whole resort idea had been a fiasco, until he looked at Cain and Brad and the love they had for Cherry, at Wils and Ronan, two guys he never thought would find women willing to fit their four-way dynamic. But they had six new women showing up on Sunday and four guys who wanted to take off with their women.
So he said as much. “I have to agree with you on the issue of the week apart. This is, I hope, a unique set of cases, but the fact is, we have six women arriving Sunday afternoon, and I’m still not able to do much. Wils and Ronan won’t be back until Wednesday, but that leaves just Brad, Cain, Evan, and me to man the fort.” He laughed. “And it appears Evan’s the only one capable of offering extracurricular activities.”
“The rest of us are out of the loop as well.” Manny shrugged. “I know I’m not interested in spending time with another woman.”
Drew punched him in the shoulder. “You’re not interested in Jules coming after you with a meat cleaver, you mean. I don’t think she’s willing to share.”