Still, she couldn’t scare me off.
I knelt down beside Rhett’s feet. He had sweat covering his forehead, his arms clutched across his stomach, and the worst, glazed-over look on his face. I couldn’t be mad at him for anything right then.
“Please, sir,” the flight attendant urged, still shoving the cup in his face. “Drink some water. It will help. I promise. I also have motion-sickness medication. That might help too. You have to trust me. I see this sort of thing all the time.”
“Do you need to throw up?” Luce asked him, cutting the lady off, while rubbing his shoulder. “If you do, you should probably go ahead and go do that. It will make you feel better.”
Rhett responded to neither of them.
Shit, now I wanted to vomit. My heart raced, and I felt about as horrible as he looked. But, my own issues aside, I remembered how he’d mentioned earlier that flying bothered him. I hadn’t fully believed him at the time. But seeing him on the ground in this state, I believed him now. Then again, maybe it was food poisoning, like Luce seemed to suspect, or maybe it was motion-sickness like the flight attendant thought. Actually, the cause didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was hurting. And I suddenly went into ‘Rhett protective mode.’
“Random person,” I said the guy I didn’t know. “Are you a doctor?”
“No,” he responded, confused. “I just found him in the bathroom.”
“Well, thanks for your help, I’m pre-med, so you can go back to your seat now.” Was I actually pre-med? Hell no. I was a freshman Art student.
“Okay,” the guy said. “Feel better, man,” he told Rhett and left us.
One down. Two to go.
“You’re not seriously pre-med?” Luce asked.
“I am,” I said assertively, looking her directly in the eyes. “And both my parents are doctors.” My parents weren’t anything—just another lie to get my way. “So I know that all he needs right now is some space.” I took the glass of water from the flight attendant. “If you guys could give us that space—that would be helpful.”
“Sure,” the flight attendant said. She took a few steps away, moving to the opposite end of the galley. “I’ll be right here if you need me.” I guess she was as far as she was going to go.
Luce shot me the nastiest look. “I don’t like you,” she told me flat-out. Okay then? But she stood up and left us alone.
I let out a breath. Now that I had him to myself, I scooted closer to his body. The ground had to be the nastiest, dirtiest floor I’d ever had to sit on. But whatever, that didn’t matter. Rhett grunted as I leaned against him. “I think you’re having a panic attack,” I told him gently. “Has this ever happened before?”
“Once,” he muttered.
“Should I make an announcement for an actual doctor?” the flight attendant asked.
“Give us a few minutes,” I told her, gesturing that it would be okay.
Taking Rhett’s very warm hand in mine, I laced our fingers, careful not to spill the cup of water in my other hand.
“You’re going to be okay,” I assured him, squeezing his hand tight. “This is going to pass soon and you’re going to be fine.”
“You sound so sure,” he replied, his voice hoarse and strained, but there was a hint of amusement to it.
“I am sure. You should probably know that I’m not pre-med, though. I’m an art student. I think I want to get into doing tattoos like my brother. Not that I even need to go to college for that, but sometimes it takes a while to figure out exactly what you want. Before I left for school, John used to let me help him with different pieces for his customers, and I didn’t even realize how much I loved doing that for him, or even how much I actually did do that, until leaving for school this year. I know I’m rambling and you probably don’t want to hear all this random stuff about me, but I’m trying to help take your mind off things. Is it working at all?”
“Yes,” he said. “Your voice is soothing. And I love hearing anything about you, no matter how random, so please don’t stop.”
I snuggled closer to him. My own heart raced so hard it practically had reached its own panic-attack level. In this moment, so worried about him, I realized how much I liked him, and how much I wanted to be with him. It was a terrifying thought. But the alternative, the thought of losing him the way I’d once thought I’d lost Ben, was even more frightening.
“Sometimes I miss you,” I whispered to him. “I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s not fair for me to say that and that I made my choice. But I miss something that I can’t—” I cut myself off, taking a breath. I’d taken the conversation to a place I hadn’t intended to, nor was I ready for. “Sorry,” I apologized. “Now I’m getting carried away.”
He moved his free hand, touched lightly under my chin, and tilted my face so that our eyes connected. “Maybe I should collapse on the ground more often. Seems like we can cut through the bullshit surrounding us a bit better this way.” He nudged my side gently, shooting me this cocky look. “I think I’m better now. Whatever that was that just happened to me…I think it has nearly passed and I’d rather be in our seats. Help me up, Sydney?”
I nodded, standing and grabbing his hand to help pull him to his feet. He wobbled a little, but otherwise seemed fine. I thanked the flight attendant, handing her the cup of water. She had tears in her eyes. “That was sweet, you guys,” she muttered, unexpectedly.
Was it?
We returned to our seats. As I sat down and was buckling my seatbelt, Rhett muttered to me, “I’m not going to forget what you just said to me back there.”
“Good,” I returned. “I’m not going to let you.”
The look that crossed his face—a look of admiration, awe, and something unfamiliar but perfect—was something I was never going to forget, something that melted my heart and turned my chest all warm and squishy inside. He took my hand in his, no other parts of our bodies touching, and he held it for the remainder of the flight. I’d never felt so much from a single touch in my whole life.
We didn’t speak, even after the plane touched down on solid ground again, but that didn’t mean something unspoken hadn’t passed between us.
CHAPTER 12:
RHETT
Nate West. The famous actor—holy shit!—was on our flight. As we were de-boarding the plane, my mind was still flying from the moment Sydney and I had shared, and that was when I noticed him sitting—asleep—in first class, his head resting against the window. Ellie had to be freaking the hell out. He was her favorite actor. She had some weird crush on the man, which might have been completely normal coming from any other girl, but Ellie was a lesbian so it made this moment twice as unbelievable. What an awesome coincidence that he was on our flight.
I turned around in the aisle to alert my roomie, just in case she hadn’t noticed him yet. “Yo, Ellie. Look who it is.” I dropped my bag on the ground, tugging my phone from my pocket. “It’s your favorite actor,” I whispered. “We should take a selfie with him in the background. He’ll never know.”
“Just go,” she harshly whispered, glaring. “I don’t want a selfie with him.”
What?! Of course she did. “C’mon,” I begged. “You’ll regret it if you don’t do this.”
So she let me snap a quick photo of us with Nate West fast asleep in the background.
“I’m posting it to Facebook right now,” I told her, working quickly to upload it. The picture was too perfect not to be posted immediately. “Don’t worry. I’ll tag you too.”
Ellie narrowed her eyes at me like I’d just told her I was posting a naked picture of my dick on the internet. “What?” I asked, not understanding her lack of excitement.
“Can you go already?” she whined, pushing me along.
We were holding up traffic, so I grabbed my bag and kept going. I didn’t get it. She’d worshiped the guy from our living room every Sunday night for the past two seasons of his show, and now, given the chance to meet him, she’d barely even blinked in hi
s direction.
Sydney shot me a smile as we were leaving. At least someone out there seemed to understand the importance of that selfie. Or maybe…she was merely smiling at me because she liked the way I looked. Hell. I was so confused right now.
If all it would have taken was me collapsing on the floor to get Sydney’s attention, then I would have keeled over long ago. But, in actuality, my mini panic attack hadn’t been that bad. Luce pretty much had it covered. I would have survived with or without Sydney’s help. But Sydney had turned all protective on me, unexpectedly, and it was hot. Damn hot. But I didn’t want to read too much into that moment, or too much into her ‘I miss you’ comment, or even too much into our hand holding. Because what was going to happen once Ben was back in the picture? She’d probably kick me to the curb the moment she saw him again. So it was better to not let myself feel anything.
Still, one look in my direction from those green eyes, and it was hard not to feel something.
Ugh. I sighed to myself as we walked.
See…so freaking confusing.
Our little group of six headed through the airport, to the exit, and toward the rental car place. We had a nice SUV lined up, courtesy of Susan and Wade Turner—Ellie’s parents. They’d been so supportive of this trip, especially Susan. With Ben’s ‘death’ and Georgie’s suicide attempt, Ellie’s family had been through some serious shit over the last year. Susan only wanted her children to start living again—go out, have fun, and try new things. So when I saw her last, she’d been very excited about our little California adventure. But hell, what would she think if she knew what this vacation was really about?
“Thank you, Mom,” Ellie said when she spotted our rental. Not hesitating in the least, she hopped in the passenger seat. Noah drove. The girls and I sat in the back—Luce and I together, Sydney and Georgie in the last row. Sydney and I hadn’t spoken since the plane. But I wasn’t taking that as a bad sign. Actually, I think it was good. There was this rekindled spark between us. Like we were both suddenly hyperaware of one another. Every time our eyes connected, I had the impression that she felt exactly the same. It was powerful and it had my body feeling like it was free-falling off a cliff all afternoon.
Our hotel in West Hollywood was fancy as hell. It had to be, for the price we were paying. Luce and I were sharing a room, while everyone else was in another. We all checked in and then headed upstairs to our separate rooms to unpack, change, and get ready to go out. I was happy I’d brought Luce along on this trip. Really, I was. She was good company, my best friend from work, and we always got along easily. But we had shared something of a relationship in the past, which in a way kind of made her my ex, and I didn’t want whatever that was to come between whatever I had with Sydney. Sydney was my priority. Always.
“She’s so in love with you,” Luce told me matter-of-factly as she started emptying her suitcase onto the ground. She began sorting her stuff into piles. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“Yeah. Right,” I retorted, pacing around the room, checking out the mini-bar and whatnot.
“I’m serious. The way she looked at me when she found us on the ground together on the plane. As unpleasant as that was…it told me everything. She cares for you.”
Needing something to distract me from this conversation, as I wasn’t in the mood for it, I heaved my own bag onto my bed, unzipped it, and pulled out a fresh change of clothes. My stomach had gone straight to mush talking about this. “I’m not reading into anything or acting on anything until she sees Ben again. There’s no fucking way I can compete with that kid.” I sighed, wishing now that there hadn’t been any sort of moment between Sydney and me earlier. It was only going to make everything harder later. And I could only take so much rejection from her. “He’s like Grey Goose. And I’m like the shitty well-drinks we serve on happy hour. He’s Patron Platinum, and I’m Jose Cuervo. Sure, you can get drunk off me just as easily as the good stuff. But you’re going to feel like shit the next morning and regret it.”
“Oh. My. God,” Luce huffed, moving to grab a pillow off the bed and chuck it in my direction. I wasn’t ready for it and it bounced off my head.
“Hey,” I groaned.
“You’re not Jose Cuervo, you ass,” she whined. “You’ve got to stop selling yourself short. The only reason you aren’t with this girl already…is because of your own insecurities. You keep acting like she’s some princess in some unreachable castle. She’s just a girl. And this whole Ben thing…you should be glad he’s alive. Competing with a memory is much harder than competing with the real thing.”
Her words hit deep. Wow. I’d been disappointed when I first found out Ben was alive, but maybe Luce was right. Maybe this was better. I didn’t want to be Sydney’s second choice. I wanted to be her first. The same way I’d been her first for everything else. I wanted her to choose me over Ben. “So you’re saying I should go balls to the wall and fight for her?” I swallowed as my question slipped out. It was a gut-wrenching thought when I feared the worst.
“Hell yes,” Luce answered.
Not to compare a girl to a sport, but growing up, I put everything I had into baseball—all my tears, blood, and sweat—and when I failed at that, it crushed me. I still hadn’t fully recovered from the loss of that dream. Maybe that was the real reason I half-assed everything else in life. That sort of disappointment was not something I wanted to experience twice.
“Yeah,” I mumbled, “I’ve got to think on that one.”
“Ugh,” Luce groaned, rolling her eyes. “Go think about it in the bathroom so I can change. I’m starving. That flight was too long. And your indecisive, male stupidity is annoying me.”
Luce was a prime example of why I’d never officially had a girlfriend in my life. Females were too much work. It made me wonder for a moment why I wanted that next level with Sydney. I guess it boiled down to something I couldn’t describe. A feeling in my gut I couldn’t shake about her.
I gave Luce her space so she could get dressed. Then once we were both ready, we headed one door down for Noah, Ellie, Georgina, and Sydney’s room. While everyone started arguing over dinner plans and what we should do first, I remained quiet. Sydney sat on the edge of one of the beds. She’d changed into a light pink dress that was a little too tight around her very perfect tits. Her attention wasn’t on me, as she weighed in on the different options with the others, but I had trouble keeping my eyes off her. She was an angel. While my ‘yellow snow’ comment still remained true. And I still couldn’t decide what to do about the balls to the wall thing.
This whole situation was frustrating, to say the least.
Finally the group decided on a plan. We were heading out to the beach to watch our first West Coast sunset. Then dinner would come second. I was fine with that. I was always fine with whatever. So that was what we did. And the whole ambiance of it all might have been romantic, had I been alone with Sydney, but obviously we weren’t alone. We had a whole bunch of other people right there with us. I forced myself to make conversation, not something I ever had to do, and keep relatively calm all evening. But by the time we were back at the hotel and back in our separate rooms, with a wall dividing me from Sydney, I was so fucking relieved to get away from her.
Or at least I thought I would be relieved.
The moment my head hit the pillow, I realized I wasn’t.
I hadn’t done a damn thing all day. Tomorrow she would see Ben again. Tomorrow I could potentially lose her forever. Was I just going to sit back and let that happen? Give up on her without even trying? I tossed and turned thinking on it. Minutes passed. Hours passed. The hotel room was now dark and quiet, and lonely as hell even with Luce fast asleep in the other bed across the room from mine. It didn’t help that it had been months since I’d gotten laid. Sydney was the last person I’d been with. No one else would do or had even come close to tempting me since.
My lack of a sex life hadn’t bothered me before this moment. I was managing on my own j
ust fine. But right this second, my cock suddenly started screaming at me. It had one thing and one person on its mind. I rested my hand on the wall behind my head, knowing she was only feet away on the other side.
“Shit,” I whispered, and hopped out of bed. I couldn’t sleep. Not here. Not with my head spinning like it was and my emotions out of whack. So I grabbed my hotel room key off the nightstand and left the room. Maybe a walk would help clear my mind; Unlikely, although I felt I had to do something.
But as I opened the room door, careful not to make any noise that might wake Luce, the bright lights in the hallway blinding me, a soft voice said my name. “Rhett. Hi.”
Holy fuck. There she was.
As if she’d materialized out of some late-night fantasy, there Sydney stood, leaning against the wall adjacent to my hotel room door. Her blonde hair was down around her shoulders—messy, wild. She wore a cotton tank-top with matching cotton shorts, both of which were unquestionably inappropriate for a hotel hallway where anyone could walk out of their room and find her. Still, seeing her suddenly, it was almost as if she’d been waiting for me. Hell. Maybe she had been waiting. It sure felt that way. And when her cheeks flushed pink as our eyes connected, it reinforced that feeling.
I let the door close gently behind me.
My whole body blazed with new heat. I had no words. She wasn’t speaking either. But our eyes were stuck on one another, and I knew the inevitable was seconds away from happening. Jesus Christ. No matter the circumstances, we always seemed to have the physical thing down perfectly. This time was no exception. The rest of the world ceased to exist. Ben became irrelevant. And all that mattered was closing the gap between us.
So much for my ‘the milk is no longer free’ threat I’d given her months ago. With no hesitation, I tugged at her waist, and yanked her body in against mine. She let me, and our mouths joined like old friends. Her lips on my lips. Her tongue tantalizing the shit out of me as it met mine equally. Her hands gripping me just as hard as I was now gripping her.
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