Eat the Ones You Love (The Thirteen Book 2)

by J. L. Murray

  “It doesn’t matter. She’ll come back.”

  But Sarah didn’t move.

  “She doesn’t fucking heal,” said Jenny. “Look at her fucking scars. She doesn’t heal. You little bastards killed her.” Jenny balled her fists, digging her nails into her palms and liking the pain.

  “You had scars, too,” said a girl. Jenny grabbed her by the hair.

  “You fucking killed my sister!” she screamed. She couldn’t control the anger any longer. It flamed white inside of her, burning into the red, taking over the hunger.

  “You had scars too!” the girl protested, trying to get away from Jenny. “You had scars before you died!”

  A twitch of a finger made Jenny stop. The girl untangled her hair from Jenny’s hand, but she didn’t run. Instead she reached up and took Jenny’s hand in her own. In a small, timid voice, the child spoke.

  “You had scars. And then you died. Remember?”

  “How do you know that?” said Jenny. She was staring at Sarah. Her finger moved again. Then her foot twitched.

  “We know everything about you,” said the girl. A boy came around and took Jenny’s other hand.

  “She’s not a rotter,” the boy said. “Just let her be.”

  “Why have you done this?” said Jenny. She suddenly felt weak. The rage was gone and now the hunger was back. And she felt weak looking at her sister. She sank down to her knees. She was at eye-level with the children now. “Why couldn’t you just let her go?”

  “We need you both,” said the boy. “We need you strong.”

  “For what’s to come,” said the girl.

  Jenny watched Sarah’s mouth move as she tried to scream with lungs that didn’t fill with air.

  “What’s about to come?” said Jenny.

  “What you’ve always wanted,” said the boy.

  “Death,” said Jenny.

  “No, silly,” said the girl. “We’re going to cure the world.”

  THIRTY-FIVE

  The children left Jenny with Sarah. Sarah's eyes were flicking around without focus, before finally landing on her. Sarah groaned, as if in pain.

  “Sarah, you have to remember who you are,” Jenny whispered.

  “She’s not coming back.”

  Jenny looked up to see Casey standing opposite her on the other side of the bed.

  “You’re not real,” said Jenny.

  “Why? Because someone in a white coat told you I wasn’t?” said Casey.

  “Because I know you’re not,” said Jenny. “I buried you. I saw your dead face. I touched your cold skin.”

  “What about her?” said Casey. “You saw her die, too.”

  “That’s different,” said Jenny.

  “Why?”

  “Because they didn’t replace your bones with metal and wires,” said Jenny. She traced a scar that ran down Sarah’s neck. She was colder now. “No one cut you open and changed out your parts like an old car.”

  “Sully tried,” said Casey.

  “It’s not the same, Casey. You’re gone. Forever.”

  “And what about her?” he said. “You don’t even know her. I’ve never seen her before. I mean, she looks like you but she’s not you. She’ll never be you, Jenny. You’re special. You have more important things to do than to stand here and wait for them to come and kill you. You have something to do now.”

  “What is this big important thing?” said Jenny. “How is anything more important than my sister?”

  “What about Trix? Zeke? Your friends?”

  “That’s not what you mean,” said Jenny. She met his eyes. Big and wide and dark brown. There used to be innocence in those eyes. “You want me to kill him. You want me to kill Dad.”

  “I’m not really here,” said Casey, raising his hands defensively. “Who really wants to kill him if I’m just in your head?”

  Jenny blinked and Casey was gone. Sarah arched her back again and screamed. There was a ripping noise and then one arm was free. She worked in a frenzy to rip her other hand out of the cuff, then her ankles. Jenny watched, feeling helpless. The boy in the chair was terrified. Jenny could smell it in his sweat and his piss and she could hear his heart beating so fast she thought he would die before Sarah even got to him. He was struggling against the sheets that tied him to the chair, but the children had done a good job. Jenny bit the inside of her cheek as she looked at him. The hunger in her was growing, but not like Sarah’s. Sarah would be insatiable for a time. Just as Declan had been. Jenny bit her cheek harder and tasted her own blood. It wasn’t the same.

  Sarah jumped down, landing on her hands and feet. She looked around, scanning the room. She froze when she saw the man in the chair. Her eyes were cold and her lip curled ever so slightly in what was almost, but not quite, a smile. Jenny understood that look: satisfaction.

  The man was hopping up and down as much as his bindings would allow. He was looking at Jenny and yelling something through his gag. Help me, he was saying. Help me, help me, help me. But Jenny shook her head. He chose to join those who poisoned the world. He chose to be here.

  “You made your decision,” said Jenny. Sarah knocked over the chair when she pounced. It took less than a minute for the screams to stop. And soon after that, Sarah stopped her frenetic movements and looked up. She dropped the arm she was holding and fell backward, staring at the corpse in horror.

  “Sarah,” said Jenny. “It's all right. Stay calm.”

  “What the fuck?” she said, her voice high and panicked. “What the fuck, what the fuck?”

  “I tried to stop them, I swear,” said Jenny, walking slowly toward her sister. Sarah was wiping at her mouth, trying to remove the blood. “I came back for you, Sarah. But it was too late.”

  “Those kids,” Sarah breathed. “Those fucking creepy kids.”

  “They’re just like us,” said Jenny. “They did the exact same thing to them. They can’t help it.” Jenny sank down to the ground next to her sister. “I’m so sorry,” Jenny said. “I’m so sorry. I was too late.”

  “You’re always too late,” said Sarah.

  “I know what it's like right now,” Jenny continued. “Rage. Lots of rage. It turns your vision red and you feel every emotion like a razor blade under your skin. You’re a mass of exposed nerves and everything’s raw. And you’re so hungry that you can feel your insides eating themselves.”

  Sarah didn’t speak. She was clenching her teeth so hard Jenny could see her jaw muscles working.

  “You’re afraid, too,” said Jenny. “You’re afraid because that taste in your mouth is human. And you’re afraid because you like the taste. You want more and it scares the shit out of you. You’re afraid because you’re so cold and it feels like you’ll never be warm again. You think that maybe the people you love will hate you, or worse that you’ll hate them. But that’s not true, Sarah. You’ll always love him. And he’ll see you. This is temporary. This isn’t forever. You’ll get better because you’re just like me.”

  “You aren’t me, Jenny,” said Sarah. “You don’t have a child.”

  “And neither will you if we don’t work together.”

  Sarah turned quickly to look at her.

  “You’re wrong about the rage. It doesn’t feel that different. But I am hungry. Where is he?”

  “Who, Dad?”

  “Where is he?”

  “I don’t know, but we’ll find him.”

  “Together,” said Sarah.

  “Yes,” said Jenny. “I’m sorry I was late. And I’m sorry I forgot you.”

  Sarah didn’t respond for a long moment, and Jenny thought she was going to remain silent. She moved to stand up, but Sarah finally spoke.

  “Did you ever fall in love? Like you wanted to?”

  Jenny felt her guts go hollow.

  “Yes,” she said.

  They walked out of the room side by side, each a rough reflection of the other. A dozen rotters waited with the children. Standing still and silent. Jenny and Sarah walked past th
em. The children followed. The rotters followed.

  “Where are they?” said Sarah. “These friends. They can help us find Rafi.”

  “I don’t know, but we’re going to find them,” said Jenny. “Let’s follow the smell of the Living and see where that takes us.”

  Sarah smiled a humorless smile. “Gladly,” she said.

  “She’s not going to judge you,” said Declan into her ear. “She’s just like you now.”

  “Fuck off,” said Jenny.

  Sarah looked at her, studying her, as they walked.

  “What’s happening to you?” she said.

  “Nothing.”

  “I’m so hungry,” she said. “Is it always like this?”

  “No. Not after a while,” Jenny said. “No, that’s a lie. Even after I was alive again, even after my heart was beating, I was still hungry. All the time. I couldn’t keep food down unless it was…”

  “Human,” Sarah finished her sentence. There was a harder edge to her voice than usual.

  “Yeah,” said Jenny.

  “She’s just like you now,” said Casey. Jenny shook her head.

  “I see things sometimes, too,” said Sarah. She kept her eyes trained ahead. There was a fire just behind her eyes, Jenny realized. Her eyes were always wildly alive.

  “What sorts of things?”

  “People mostly. Sometimes they tell me things I already know but I’ve forgotten.”

  “Who do you see?”

  “It’s usually Rafi’s father, Griff. He died.” Her voice was flat and Jenny knew not to probe any further.

  “Dad did all of this,” said Jenny.

  “Yes.”

  “He did it all. Left us there on purpose, me and Casey. Brought you back. Kept Mom doing…whatever the fuck she was doing. He’s still doing it. All these kids, he’s running the whole fucking thing. He lied to me.”

  “Yes.”

  Jenny stopped walking. Sarah looked at her and Jenny felt the jolt of recognition. Sarah was gnashing her teeth just as Jenny was, she had her fists clenched tight and there was anger in her eyes.

  “I know what we are,” said Jenny. “I know what they’ve turned us into. It’s not human, not anymore. I have to embrace it. I have to be…”

  “An animal,” said Sarah. And a slow smile spread across her face. A mad smile with too-bright eyes.

  “Yeah,” said Jenny. “We have to stay together. Do you understand?”

  “We’ll never be apart again,” said Sarah. She reached out and Jenny took her hand.

  “We’re going to rip them apart,” said Jenny. “And we’re going to find your son.”

  “It’s going to be one hell of a fucking party,” said Sarah. Jenny looked behind them and saw the blood-covered children smiling, too, standing among the eerily silent rotters.

  “Come on, kids,” called Jenny. “It’s time to eat.”

  THIRTY-SIX

  There were so many dead. Sarah picked up a gun lying next to a soldier face down with a chunk ripped out of the back of his neck. They had to step around the corpses. The shooting had stopped but they could sense Living nearby. There were so many heartbeats that Jenny felt an odd skip of excitement run through her. A few days ago the feeling would have revolted her, and she would have struggled against it, but this is what she was now. Embracing her nature felt liberating. She remembered Abel telling her much the same at their first meeting, just as he was about to eat Sully.

  Abel appeared now, smiling. “Are you going to finally do it?” he asked. “Are you going to stop running from who you are?”

  “Yes, ” Jenny smiled.

  “You’ll have to. There are so many of them.”

  “They’re not real,” said Sarah. And Abel wasn’t there anymore.

  “I know,” said Jenny. “But I like them.”

  She could smell blood. It was fresh and alive. Jenny looked at Sarah. She smelled it too. The children were quiet behind them. They could see the double doors that led to another wing of this underground lab.

  The noises grew closer. A repetitive click, click, click. Jenny motioned for the others to wait. She saw the keycard reader on the door, and occasional shapes moving behind the door. There were so many Living on the other side. She could feel them like one giant collective pulse. And something else, too. Something that felt like a rotter, but not quite. Pain, fear, hunger. She narrowed her eyes as she realized.

  “Trix is in there,” she said. And suddenly she felt the hunger grip her. She felt the red creeping in and the anger balled up in her stomach began to spread. She looked back at the children, looking back expectantly. The rotters stood so still that they seemed almost otherworldly. They followed as if they had no idea why. It came as easily to them as breathing to a Living.

  “They have your friend,” said Sarah. “The rotter who’s not a rotter.”

  “You just described both of us,” said Jenny. “Don’t touch her.”

  “I don’t want anything dead,” said Sarah, taking a shaky step toward the door. Jenny wrapped her fingers hard around her sister’s arm.

  “Not yet,” she said.

  Click. Click. Click.

  A man was panting as he got closer, groaning with every click. There was a wet sound along with the noises, too, like a wet towel hitting the floor. Jenny could barely hold herself back. The smell of blood was wrapping itself around her until she felt intoxicated, but she forced herself to be still.

  He finally came into view. Young and handsome with a buzzcut, and pain and blood all over his face. His eyes were rimmed red and Jenny looked down to see he was leaving a smear of blood behind him. The clicking came from the guns he was using as crutches because his right foot had been torn off. The stump was wrapped in cloth, cinched with a belt as a tourniquet. He approached the doors with something like hope. He began to go faster and Jenny felt a moment of human empathy and hurt for him.

  Trix, she thought. Nothing else matters.

  He fumbled for a card key, as the guns clattered to the floor, and hopped toward the card reader.

  “Take him,” Jenny said to Sarah.

  As the doors opened the man had only a moment to scream as she fell on him.

  “No! Please! We didn’t do this!”

  Sarah, mad with hunger, ripped into him so fast and hard that she barely got a few mouthfuls before the soldier died. Jenny felt the rotters growing restless. It wouldn’t be long now. The doors closed on the man’s body and he was still holding his card, covered in blood. Jenny stepped over him and Sarah stood, gore dribbling down her chin. She smiled with bloody teeth. Jenny stepped into the wing and looked around. Maybe a hundred Living here. They were hiding, she could tell. Waiting for it all to blow over. Waiting for all the scientists and doctors and administrators to die. Waiting for the freaks to run away. Jenny reached down and plucked the soldier’s key card out of his unmoving hand. Then she pushed open the door, shoving the man’s corpse against it to hold it open. Looking over her shoulder she took in the children, the rotters, all twitching and shaking with hunger and need.

  “Now,” she said. She stepped out of the way and let them come.

  The children ran in like it was Christmas morning, their faces shining with joy under dried and crackling blood. Then came the rotters, slow and stinking, but just as determined.

  The doors opened into a dim hall, the floors shining black instead of the white of the hospital, the doors on either side reinforced with hefty locks and no windows. And it was so quiet. Sarah moved to follow them, but Jenny held her back. Her sister looked at her with shining eyes.

  “Something’s wrong,” said Jenny.

  “What?”

  “They’re expecting us,” said Jenny. “Listen. Can you hear the heartbeats?”

  The children and the rotters were headed straight to the back. Jenny could feel them there, so many Living.

  “Let them shoot their big guns,” said Sarah. “They can’t hurt us.”

  Jenny just shook her head and watc
hed the children enter the room at the end of the hall. The rotters had barely started filing in when the soldiers opened fire. The shooting was louder than any explosion she had ever heard, and sent a shudder down her spine. The shots just continued as a sulfurous smoke poured out of the room and filled the hall. She could hear the men whooping and laughing underneath the chaos of the shooting.

  Jenny stepped toward the room and Sarah grabbed her arm.

  “Trix is in there,” Jenny explained. “I’m not leaving her.”

  Sarah’s eyes flicked to the door. “You’d die again for some rotter bitch?”

  “Yeah,” said Jenny. “I fucking would.”

  “I’m coming with you.”

  Jenny shook her head. “Wait here. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “I’m hungry.”

  “I know,” she said, squeezing Sarah’s hand before letting it go. “I’ll be back.”

  Jenny shouldered the gun and started along the corridor wall through the smoke.

  “Warnken didn’t say anything about any kids,” a voice was saying. “Fucking zombie kids, man, what the fuck? What are these freaks doing to people here?”

  “Just do what you’re told,” came an older man’s voice. “Start cleaning this up. I don’t want a bunch of rotter stink in here when all this shit settles down.”

  Jenny walked slowly and quietly. There were so many hearts beating. Twenty at once, she thought.

  “What do we do with this fucking thing? Why are we even keeping this rotter here? She’s creepy, man. Like she understands us or something.”

  Jenny stopped and listened.

  “Warnken just said to keep her here. Hide her, she said. I guess she was part of some of that Anna Hawkins bullshit before she got infected.”

  “Why does Warnken want her alive?”

  “I told you, stop asking questions.”

  “Seriously, boss. Why would she want us keeping a rotter bound and gagged? I don’t get it.”

  The old man hesitated. “She said she wanted to question her.”

  “Boss…”

  “I know, the bitch has gone off her rocker, but we follow orders. We’re survivors and it’s gotten us this far. The old man has gone completely off the deep end and he’s taking Warnken with him. But we still follow our fucking orders. Understood?”