by Robyn Carr
She considered stopping him. She knew she could tell him he was just drunk. But that squishy feeling inside traveled through her whole body and she was overwhelmed with yearning.
“You’re the one for me,” he said, kissing her neck, her shoulder, pulling her blouse apart so he could kiss the top of her breast. The next thing she knew he was licking her nipple. Then he had it in his mouth and she went crazy. She had absolutely no idea breasts were magic. It was as if there was a silk cord that attached her nipple to her girl parts and pulled tight. It was fantastic!
Iris had never been so far with a boy. She knew she was behind all the other girls, but she hadn’t dated that much and she sure hadn’t dated anyone who could compare to Seth. She would never forget the night the boy she’d loved for years finally realized they were meant for each other.
He fussed with her shorts, trying to open them. She honestly wasn’t sure what he was thinking, planning. She thought he might want to slide his hand in there, but frankly she’d rather they just resume that lovely grinding thing they were doing. “Come on, honey,” he said, kissing her. “I need you.”
Well, she’d always been there for him. Through thick and thin. If he needed her, she was there. She kissed him back and felt her shorts slide down. Her panties went with them. Then he was probing against her, pushing into her, groaning and saying things like ah, God and holy God and oh-oh-oh, God.... Then he trembled, panted and went a little limp.
It took him a long moment to recover but when he did he put a big hand against her cheek, gave her a sweet, gentle kiss on the lips, eased his weight off her and rose up. With a knee braced on the seat beside her, he pulled up and closed his pants. He helped her slide back into her shorts and made room for her to move back to her assigned seat. Once she had shifted across the console, she began adjusting her clothing. She had babbled. “Wow, I can’t believe we did that. And with no rubber or anything. I never expected anything like that. I don’t even know what to say....” But as she babbled what she’d been thinking was how happy she was to know that Seth felt the same way about her that she felt about him. And that she’d like a little more of that kissing, touching and grinding.
She got her shorts in place and fastened her blouse. Then she looked at Seth. He was asleep.
* * *
Iris wanted to get her head out of the past, get her mind off Seth. She called Grace. “Want to go up to North Bend? Maybe go dancing?”
“First of all, I couldn’t dance if you had me on puppet poles—I was on my feet all day and took flowers to Bandon for two weddings. Second, two women out at a bar on Saturday night are either looking for a pickup or want to be mistaken for a couple.”
“I haven’t completely ruled out a pickup,” Iris said.
“I have,” Grace said. “Little antsy tonight?”
“I’d just like something to do, that’s all. You used to be more fun.”
“I’m not sure about that. I think maybe you were slightly less fun.”
Grace had turned the flower shop around. She had done things Rose had never thought of. She reached out to neighboring towns with coupons and internet ads. She hired a PR firm from North Bend, had a great portfolio from the florist she had worked for in Portland and, after hiring a couple of local housewives part-time and training them, she was capable of flowering big events. Iris was glad it was Grace and not her working the flower business. But success could be draining.
“Tell you what I’ll consider,” Grace said. “I’ll go out to Cooper’s with you for a drink and a sunset. We’re not going to have too many more late sunsets....”
“It’s only September!” Iris said.
“And I’m getting out the fall arrangements and putting together a Christmas catalog. Before you know it, sunset is at four-thirty and I’ll still be working. I’ll even stop at Cliff’s for clam chowder on the way home if you want, but please don’t make me dance.”
“You’re a wuss,” Iris said. “I ran today and everything.”
“It sounds like you didn’t run enough....”
So they went out to Cooper’s. Iris thought it was probably better anyway—it was casual and laid-back. Troy Headly, fellow high school teacher whom she’d dated briefly, was behind the bar. He worked part-time for Cooper. He explained that Cooper was gone because the Oregon Ducks played California today and Cooper and Sarah had driven to Eugene for the game. The place was full but not busy—it was pretty quiet for a Saturday night. Iris and Grace sat at the bar and kept an eye on the deck, ready to pounce on a table out there when one became available. After getting a glass of wine each, Grace poked her and they dodged for an empty table and settled in.
Iris put her feet up on the porch rail and smiled. “I wonder what the poor people are doing.”
Grace laughed. “They’re having a glass of wine at Cooper’s.”
Grace was young to own her own successful business. She’d been working for a popular florist when she got a settlement or inheritance of some kind and went looking for a shop for sale. It was an ambitious venture for such a young woman, committing all her capital like that. But she knew what she was doing; she had been a shop manager before, kept the books, bought the stock, supervised the event contracts. She stretched her money further by renovating the space above the shop into a small apartment. And Iris was so glad Grace had been the one to buy the shop because they became good friends almost instantly. They had a lot in common—both very serious about their work, didn’t date much, both alone and without family.
Thunder Point was Iris’s family; the kids she was responsible for were her family.
Iris enjoyed having a friend she could actually be quiet with—Grace was almost like a sister. They spoke little as the sun was making its downward path. Just a remark here and there about the week, the special challenges. And how nice Sunday was going to feel. They watched the red-orange collage of sun, ocean and haystack rocks before them. And then the sky began to darken.
“How are you feeling about dinner?” Grace asked.
“Not that hungry,” Iris said. “A bowl of soup at Cliff’s will do it for me.”
“How about another glass of wine and one of Carrie’s deli pizzas? Cooper’s got a bunch of them in the cooler and Troy will put a couple in the oven.”
“I could do that,” she said.
“I’m going to go get us some tortilla chips and salsa and another wine. Hey, is that our new guy?” Grace asked.
Down on the beach, running at the water’s edge, it was him. Seth. What was he doing? He didn’t live here. But it was obviously him. She could tell by his light hair, his slight list to the right because of his limp. He was wearing fitted running pants and a sleeveless T-shirt, a jacket tied around his waist. “Yeah, I think that’s him,” she said to Grace.
“I’ll be right back,” Grace said.
So, he’s out for a run, Iris thought. What incredible dedication that must take, to keep up all his physical fitness even though he had issues with his leg. But then, that’s why he did it. He was a cop. He couldn’t be the slow one or the weak one if he came up against a bad situation. And by the look of his arms and shoulders, he didn’t end his workout with a run. He was so beautiful.
He must not have a good place to run near his residence, which she had heard was near Bandon. He got to the dock in front of Cooper’s and she expected him to turn and jog back to town. But, no. Hands on his hips, he walked in circles, slowing down, cooling off. Then he looked up to the deck. And smiled.
Crap! she thought. Is there no God? What the hell?
He walked around a little more, then wiped his face with the towel that hung around his neck. He climbed the stairs. Just as he hit the deck and headed for Iris’s table, Grace came out of the bar holding a glass of wine for Iris and a basket of corn chips.
“Hey, Seth,” Grace said in greeting.<
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“Hey, yourself. Is this chair taken?” he asked, indicating one at their table.
“No, please join us. Can I get you anything while I’m up?”
“Water would be good. Thanks.”
Grace disappeared again. Iris frowned. And what really pissed her off was Seth smiling. In fact it was a smile she remembered. It was the “gotcha” smile.
Grace was back with the water, adding salsa to the table, then disappearing again. Seth put on his jacket and zipped it up. “I don’t think this is going to work out for you, Iris,” he said.
“What?”
“Dodging me all the time. Avoiding me. Pretending you have important business elsewhere or appointments you’re late for. All your excuses. Sooner or later you’ll have to actually talk to me.”
“Oh, didn’t anyone mention? I’m moving.”
A laugh burst out of him. He opened his water bottle and chugged down half of the liquid in a couple of gulps. “No one mentioned,” he said.
“Are you everywhere?” she asked in a lowered voice. “You don’t live here! What are you doing here on a Saturday night? Running on the beach.”
“I had some paperwork to finish up today and I brought my running clothes. I wanted to see what’s happening on the beach tonight—Saturday night.”
“The kids usually hit the beach after games,” she informed him as though he wouldn’t remember.
“I know. I was watching last night from Cooper’s parking lot. It looked pretty familiar. And pretty tame. If memory serves, every night they’re not busy is party night.”
“And you decided to spy on them?”
“Well, I thought I’d have a look. And let them look at me—not far away in case anyone needs anything. Iris, we have to talk out this little grudge you’ve been nurturing for over fifteen years.”
She leaned toward him. “Two things, Deputy. One—we have talked. Several times. And two—I haven’t been nurturing anything. I’m merely minding my own business.” She grabbed a chip from the bowl and crunched down on it. Hard.
“Bullshit. You forget I know you. It takes a lot to piss you off and you’ve been stroking this one since our senior prom. I said I was sorry a hundred times. I was a dumb and insensitive teenage boy and I really regret hurting your feelings. I had no idea what it was going to cost me. Or you, for that matter.” He drank the rest of his water.
Iris looked over her shoulder and saw that Grace, in the bar, was up on a bar stool, laughing with Troy about something. She was probably giving Iris time to work things out with Seth while waiting for their pizzas. Grace knew about the prom thing, knew Iris was pissed. She didn’t know everything, however.
“I don’t know what it is about girls and proms,” he said. “You were absolutely crazed. And I never knew you to be that kind of girl, crying and carrying on. You used to beat me up, for God’s sake!”
“Apparently, I fell down on the job,” she muttered, lifting her wine.
He smirked. “I am an officer of the law, ma’am. Watch your threats.”
“Why aren’t you out with some skinny blonde tonight? Like usual?”
“I don’t think I know any around here. Is Sassy still around town?”
“She is, indeed. Need me to hook you up?”
“No, thanks,” he said. “She never left town? That’s a surprise. She was ready to move on. How’s she getting along?” he asked.
Iris took another sip of wine. “It appears she’s gained a couple of pounds.”
“That must thrill you.”
“And she lost a tooth,” she added. She pointed to a very obvious incisor. In front. “Here.”
He threw his head back and laughed so loudly that people actually turned and looked at him.
“Stop it!” Iris hissed. “You’re making a fool of yourself!”
“So you still hate her, huh? I’m honored.” He pushed back his chair and stood. “I think I’ll get a beer and order one of those little pizzas.”
“Don’t you have to go home?” she asked.
He leaned his face toward her. He shook his head and grinned. “Nope.”
He went inside to place his order and grab a beer and was back altogether too quickly. He sat down and got comfortable. “I’d like us to talk about some things,” he said. “You’re obviously not quite ready to give up your anger, but there are other things. First—you’ve been really good to my mom. A good neighbor and friend. Losing Rose was probably as hard on my mom as it was on you. She’s so grateful to have you in her life and I’m grateful, too. At least your anger didn’t extend to her. Thanks for that.”
“Your mom is wonderful,” she said. “And I love her.”
“That’s very kind, Iris,” he said. “And I’d also like to talk about how we can work together on special programs for the high school. I have some ideas.”
“I just expect you to let me know if trouble comes to my school and I’ll do the same. We don’t do those horrific movies of horrible car accidents right before prom and graduation anymore. You know those awful things, trying to scare the lives out of the kids before they drink and drive or something....”
“That wasn’t what I had in mind, but if you like I can make an appointment.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Maybe a few true stories on how to be successful in life. How not to be dead or maimed before the age of twenty-one.” He raised his brows. “How to have fun every day for life? Become millionaires in three easy steps? If I can figure out how to get their attention, I think I can hold it.”
She relaxed back into her chair. “I think I’d like to see your proposal, Deputy.”
“Sure,” he said. “And I’d like to try to make it up to you.”
“Not necessary.”
“I’d like to try,” he said. “What’s it going to take, Iris?”
“A miracle,” she said.
He lifted half of his mouth in a sly smile. “I’ll get right to work on that.”
Grace returned, followed by Troy bearing two individual pizzas. “Yours will be out in just a minute, Seth,” he said.
It was the three of them at the table and the conversation turned to general subjects. Troy brought a pizza for Seth and a beer that he claimed for himself. As a foursome, they told stories about the town, the people, old times and recent times. Troy thoroughly enjoyed hearing funny stories about Iris as a kid because, as Iris well knew, Troy had a crush on her. Before ten minutes had passed they were all laughing as though they’d been best friends forever. Laughing almost wildly.
Later that night, at home in the house she’d grown up in, alone in her bed, for the first time in a very, very long time, Iris cried. Cried for all she had missed, all she’d lost, all she felt was forever out of her reach.
She had missed Seth so much.
* * *
That pivotal Friday night so long ago, Iris woke Seth and took him home a little after midnight. He disappeared into his house after thanking her for the ride. She had expected a little more with the good-night than that, but she let it go. He was impaired, after all. But she did wake her mother and, sitting on her bed, told her that Seth had broken up with his girlfriend and asked her to go to the prom.
“As friends?” Rose had asked.
When your mother and your boyfriend’s mother were best friends, when you lived next door to each other, Iris knew she had to be very careful. “Maybe more,” she said, looking down shyly. Shy was never a word people used to describe Iris, because she had learned to compensate in high school. She could fake confidence she didn’t really have.
Iris knew even buying a prom dress would be tough for Rose. Prom wasn’t far off and Pretty Petals was only closed on Sundays so they went right away. They were just going to look around, decide if they should drive farth
er than North Bend, see what was out there. But they found a dress right away and fell completely in love. Iris didn’t think she’d ever stumble on a dress that she didn’t feel fat or pale or stupid in, but she did. It was dark purple and sleek, making her height feel like an asset. It took every ounce of her willpower to keep from running next door to tell Seth about it.
At school on Monday morning she could hardly stop beaming. Books clutched against her chest, she went straight to his locker. “Hey,” she said.
“Iris! You’ll never believe it. I made up with Sassy! We had a long talk and decided we both deserved another chance. So—we’re going to the prom.”
Iris couldn’t move. Her mouth stood open, her eyes watered and she felt all color drain from her face.
“What?” Seth said. “I mean, she’s got the dress and everything. And she really wants another chance.”
“Don’t you remember?” she asked in a whisper before she could stop herself. “You don’t!”
“What?” he asked again.
“You said you wanted to go with me. You said we’d have more fun anyway,” she said quietly.
He rubbed his hand around the back of his neck and shook his head uncomfortably. “I sort of remember. I was just really mad. And I was kind of drunk....”
“Kind of?”
“Okay, I was drunk. I probably said a lot of things I shouldn’t have. But you understand, right? God, Iris, good thing you got me out of there before something worse happened.”
And then, like magic, Sassy was standing with them. Pretty, slim, sexy Sassy, threading her arm through Seth’s, smiling beautifully, her large blue eyes twinkling.
“Hey, see you later, Iris,” he said. “I gotta get to class, but I’ll catch ya later, right?”