The Homecoming

by Robyn Carr

  It was another win for Thunder Point and when the game was over, Iris, Troy and Grace headed out of the stands. “Let’s get something to eat,” Troy said.

  “You had two hot dogs!” Iris reminded him.

  “I’m a growing boy and you girls are starving, I can tell.”

  “I’m getting out of here,” Grace informed them. “Saturday is a work day for me. I have a wedding tomorrow—I’ll be up to my eyeballs in flowers by nine and the wedding is in Coos Bay. See you later.”

  Grace bolted for the parking lot but Iris and Troy were sidetracked by students and teachers who stopped to say hello and talk about the game a little. Out of her peripheral vision, she saw Seth walking away from the field and noted that he didn’t have much of a limp. She frowned. Maybe he wore that lift in regular shoes but not in his running shoes? Then he keyed his radio and jogged away toward the parking lot.

  “Come on, Iris, let’s get something to eat. How about pizza?” Troy said.

  “Do you know what that place is going to be like after the game? It’ll be all night before we get one.”

  “I’ll take you to Cliff’s. We’ll get something light—oysters or crab cakes or something. Come on.”

  She stopped dead in her tracks. Seth and one of the other deputies had a trio of boys with their hands braced against the police SUV. Seth was on his phone while the deputy was patting them down. “Are those our boys?” she asked.

  Troy squinted toward them. “I don’t recognize anyone. Maybe there was some trouble from the other school.”

  Iris strode purposefully toward the scene and when she got closer she nearly bumped into the assistant principal, also checking this out. “What’s going on, Phil?”

  “Just a little scuffle,” he said. “Except two of those boys are from Canton and one of them is ours. Looks like two on one.”

  “What’s going to happen to them?”

  “Seth is taking the two Canton boys to his office, Charlie will bring in our boy. They’ll sort it out from there.”

  “But if our boy wasn’t doing anything wrong...”

  “If he wasn’t, and I think he wasn’t, then he’ll make out fine.” He nodded. “I’m sure Seth and Charlie know what they’re doing.”

  “I’m sure,” she said. But she watched while the boys were loaded into two different Sheriff’s Department SUVs. She had great math skills—that would leave only the high school security guard at the stadium while it was being emptied of football players, cheerleaders, band members and fans, and one on-duty deputy to keep an eye on the town tonight. But then, Seth wouldn’t leave Thunder Point until he was comfortable that everything was under control.

  She turned and bumped right into Troy. “Oops, sorry. I think maybe you’re right—we should get a pizza.”

  “We could be standing around for a long time,” he said. “Unless you want to drive over to Bandon...”

  “No, I thought maybe it would be a good idea to hang around Thunder Point tonight in case there are other kids from Canton who aren’t happy about the results of the game.”

  He smiled, shook his head and chuckled. “What are you going to do, Iris? Bust up fights?”

  “Hey, you’ve never seen my right hook.”

  “A testament to my good manners. I’ll meet you over there.”

  * * *

  There had been no trouble in town after the game, but hanging around the pizza place made for a late night. Troy was a very popular history teacher—and surfer, skier, scuba diver, white-water kayaker—a young legend with some of the students with similar interests. He tended to draw teenagers like a magnet. Iris was popular in her own right. Though her title was guidance counselor, she liked to think of herself as a social worker assigned to a high school. The result of Troy and Iris hanging out in town after a big game was typical—they were surrounded by a crowd. Everyone wanted to know who was being taken away in the police cars, or wanted to talk about the game, or wanted to gossip about teachers, students, townsfolk. And of course the girls always questioned Iris. “Are you dating Mr. Headly? He’s so hot.”

  The evening even ended in a fairly typical way, with Troy following her home and jumping out of his car to catch her before she got inside her house. He grabbed her hand and pulled her close. “The whole high school wants us to be dating again.”

  “They don’t know we were dating before,” she reminded him. They had mutually decided it wasn’t a good policy unless they were serious. If they turned serious the staff at least deserved full disclosure.

  Troy had been serious. Iris had decided, after giving it a great deal of thought, that they weren’t really right for each other. Not that there was a single thing wrong with Troy. For her, there just weren’t any bells.

  “Kiss me good-night and see if you suddenly change your mind,” he begged.

  She laughed and touched his lips with a finger. “You’re just about my favorite teacher in the world. There’s not another at the high school I have more respect for. And you’re fun! I want to hang out, do fun stuff, be your friend, but that’s all I’ve got. Troy, if you don’t hear me on this, then we can’t even be friends.”

  “I think you could be making a big mistake here, Iris,” he said. “You could be giving up the best thing that ever happened to you!”

  “Oh, you could be right. But I have to go with my instincts here. Are we on the same page or do I have to stop walking to class with you?”

  “Whatever,” he said, backing off. “Really, I think I’d rather you hate me than find me so appealing in all areas but one.”

  “There’s no but,” she said. “I think you’re wonderful in all areas. But I don’t think we have a future together because I’m not in love with you. I think you’ll eventually find someone more suited to you and agree. Someone who makes your whistles go off in a huge way. But not if you keep looking at me and neglect keeping your eyes open for the one who’s really right for you.”

  “You’re just about out of time,” he warned. “Pretty soon I’m going to get sick of trying.”

  She gave him a brief, sisterly kiss on his cheek. “I love you in every way except the right one. The one you’re looking for. Besides, if I took you as my chosen one, it would break the hearts of countless high school girls.”

  “And of course I take great consolation in that!” he said with heavy sarcasm. “You’re going to regret letting me get away.”

  In fact, she knew she might. It kept her awake very late into the night. They’d known each other for about a year when he’d asked her to go mountain hiking in late spring. They’d gone river kayaking in the summer. They’d also taken in movies, eaten pizza and popcorn, sat on the beach for quite a few sunsets. And they’d made love. Yes, they’d tumbled into bed after the third or fourth date and it was good. Very satisfying and completely five-star. But it hadn’t done to her heart what she’d been looking for, what she’d been needing. She’d had several long talks with herself about being ridiculous—there was nothing about being with Troy that put her off or sent up a red flag. But there was also nothing that made her chest expand and brain completely lose focus. She didn’t think about him constantly, didn’t want to phone him at three in the morning, didn’t miss him horribly when he went on his rafting or scuba trips. She could marry him and probably be 75 percent content.

  But if she could see a life as 75 percent happy with a man before she even met him at the altar, what were the odds of them having a successful family life together? Shouldn’t she be at least 100 percent first? Then maybe after marriage and all its familiarity and struggle and predictable disharmony from time to time, 75 percent would look pretty good....

  She came to a sudden realization. Oh, God, that’s probably what Seth thinks about me! He likes me a lot. He misses me and wants me back, but as his buddy, his pal, not as the love of his life! He’
s been trying to explain that to me for twenty years at least and I just won’t get it! Troy isn’t right for me in all ways just like I’m not right for Seth in all ways!

  It took such a long time to fall asleep and then, just because sometimes she was the most unlucky person alive, Norm Sileski decided it was the perfect Saturday morning to cut his grass. She rolled to her side and put the pillow over her head. During the week she had to be up early, perky and ready to face three hundred and fifty high school students with a positive attitude and creative problem-solving skills. On the weekend she liked to sleep in.

  The pillow wouldn’t make Norm’s mower go away and she rolled over with a growl. She looked at the clock—it was nine o’clock. When she had finally nodded off at three she’d had a mental plan to wake up at about eleven and have lunch for breakfast. He’d robbed her of at least two hours!

  Then she heard the mower ram into the side of her house under her bedroom window and she sat up with a start. What was he doing in her yard?

  She grabbed a flannel shirt hanging on the peg in her closet and put it on over her skimpy pajama tank top. Barefoot in the cold October morning, she stormed outside to tell him to stop, to go worry about his own grass, hers was only going to need one more mowing before winter anyway. But when she got to the backyard she was nearly run over by Seth. He stopped the mower, put it on idle so it only hummed and grinned. “Morning.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m giving your grass a mow. I’m being a good neighbor.”

  “A good neighbor would let me sleep!”

  “Out late last night, Iris?” he asked.

  “Sort of. Then I had trouble falling asleep and Saturday is my sleep-in day. Now put your mother’s lawn mower away and go home.”

  “Come on, Iris. I’m just being helpful. Now you don’t have to pay a kid to do it and you don’t have to do it yourself. You can go fishing or something instead.”

  “I just want to sleep for two more hours!”

  He laughed. “Jesus, are you ever grumpy in the morning. I’ll be done here in a flash....”

  “Just quit. I’ll finish it. Go away. I’m sleeping!”

  “That’s obvious,” he said, making a motion with his hand over the left side of his head, indicating a protruding, springy mound.

  She hadn’t looked in the mirror. Her hair tended to go a little berserk at night, especially if it was a tossing-and-turning night. She glared at him. “I. Said. Go.”

  “Come on, Iris,” he cajoled. “Go make some coffee. You’ll feel better in a few minutes and by then I’ll be done here.”

  She took a couple of steps toward him. “What the hell are you doing to me?”

  He smiled pleasantly. “I’m wooing you. I’m wearing you down. I want you back.”

  “You’re full of shit,” she said. She turned to walk away.

  “Come on, Iris. I need you.”

  She wasn’t thinking. She really had been asleep and she was really tired. And he really had pissed her off before he said the thing that brought a curtain of red over her eyes, like a fountain of blood. She whirled and slugged him in the jaw as hard as she could before stomping off.

  Just like when they were eight years old.

  Seth’s heel caught on the wheel of the lawn mower and he tripped backward, landing on his ass. It ran through his mind that if he’d seen that coming he wouldn’t have let her get away with it, then just as quickly he reminded himself she already had. So he grabbed his left knee and began to moan and groan very loudly. “Ohhh. God, Ohhh. Ah! Jesus! Ohhh.”

  Through the slits of his eyes he saw her turn and cast a stricken look his way, her mouth open in a nice, shocked O.

  “Seth,” she said, rushing to him. “Oh, God, did you hurt your bad leg? I’m so sorry. I don’t know what—”

  Then she squealed as he grabbed her, pulled her down and rolled until she was under him. He pressed her down and his eyes glittered as he flashed an evil smile. “My bad leg is the right one. But you hit a police officer. That’s assault. It might be a felony. Depends on the extenuating circumstances.”

  “Like you’re just a bastard?” she asked, struggling to push him off.

  He held her down effortlessly. “Like temporary insanity. On your part.”

  “Get off me, you brute. Or I’ll scream so loud your mother will bring the cleaver.”

  “You already screamed. The mower is still humming. Why’d you hit me? I was trying to be nice.”

  “No, you weren’t! You were being your usual manipulative self!”

  Offended, he grabbed her arms. “When was I manipulative? I’m never manipulative! Unless it’s work oriented! I’m trained to manipulate criminals!”

  “Oh-ho, is that right? The last time you said you needed me, you helped yourself to my virginity and took someone else to the prom! Now let me go!”

  He was stunned. He went perfectly still. And he was much heavier because he wasn’t holding his weight off her. Iris was gasping for breath and pushing with all her might. He outweighed her by a good fifty pounds. He lifted up, but just enough so she could breathe. He obviously wasn’t letting her get away until he had answers. “What?” he said.

  She took a deep breath. Tears came to her eyes. “You heard me. That night. When you broke up with Sassy, got drunk and I took you out of that party before you got in real trouble. I took you to the lookout to sober up a little. You said, ‘Come on, Iris, I need you.’ Then you got me out of my shorts and...”

  “No,” he said.

  “I know. You don’t remember, right? After it was over I could figure out—you probably didn’t even realize it was me! Jackass!”

  “No,” he said again. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  She laughed. “So everyone in school, in town, could say mean things like, ‘Who is Iris kidding? Why would he hook up with her?’ Don’t you think it hurt enough without that?”

  “God,” he said, shock still paralyzing him. “Iris...”

  “Oh, shut up and get off me!”

  He rolled off her and sat on the grass. He pulled his knees up and leaned his arms on them. “Jesus, what an asshole I must’ve been.”

  Iris sat up. “Yes to that.”

  “Iris, seriously, I’m sorry. I took advantage of you. Did I hurt you?”

  She shook her head and a couple of tears slipped out of her eyes. She brushed them away impatiently. In the moment, it had been like a dream come true! “Not physically. I think you were just moving on instinct and I didn’t stop you. I didn’t realize you didn’t know what you were doing. Or who you were doing it with,” she added with a bit of a choked voice. She looked away.

  “Oh, I didn’t know what I was doing, but I must’ve known who I was with.” He shook his head. “I guess that explains the weird dreams.”

  “What dreams?”

  “Dreams about... Let’s save that discussion. It’s pretty embarrassing. Are you sure I didn’t force myself on you? Like a drunk seventeen-year-old moron?”

  “No,” she said weakly. “I must admit I had stupidly been waiting forever for you to discover all those skinny, acrobatic cheerleaders weren’t right for you and you belonged with me, so...” She shrugged. “Thus, my broken heart. Then my anger. Maybe we can get over this now that you know. And you can leave me alone.”

  “You’re sure I didn’t hurt you?”

  She just shook her head.

  He looked down at his knees. “It must have been thrilling for you,” he said sarcastically. “A teenage drunk climbing all over you.”

  “Yeah, well...I’d always heard the first time is awful.”

  “Jesus, Iris. I don’t know how I’m going to make this up to you. Sometimes it feels like every time I turn around I have one more stupid move to make amends for. This one is
really going to take some thought.”

  “Yeah? Well, listen, Seth. Let me make it easy for you because I have thought about it. It would be best if you just let it go, get on with your life and stop expecting me to be that girl again. I’m not, okay? I’m not your best friend anymore. I’m not going to be the one to pull your fat out of the fire every time you’re in trouble. You’re on your own. Just leave me alone.” She pulled herself to her feet.

  “I don’t blame you for being angry,” he said.

  “It wasn’t just the prom, you stupid shithead,” she said quietly, looking down at him. “It was everything. You used me as your tutor, your counselor so you could talk about your problems with all the pretty, popular girls, your playmate if you were bored. That night you said I was the only girl you’d ever really loved and then you just used me and tossed me out the next day.”

  “Iris—”

  “I’m over it, Seth. I’m over you. If you think I’m ever going to risk that kind of hurt again, you’ve lost your mind.”

  Then she walked away and didn’t look back.

  Five

  Iris wiped her eyes and blew her nose. She looked out her kitchen window and there he sat on the ground beside the lawn mower like the big dumb ox he was. Well, she was glad it was out. Now Seth knew everything that had pissed her off. Now he could go away because she was over it. Over him.

  She made sure her doors were locked, then she threw herself facedown on her bed and smothered her cries in the pillow. She let all of the emotion out.

  Before too long she heard the mower start up again. It ran for about ten minutes, then stopped and she was enveloped in silence. But the noise inside her head was deafening.

  This was good, right? Getting it all out, all of it. Venting all the hurt and anger and feelings of betrayal. Because he hurt me so much. He’s been such an ignorant fool!