“I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you behind with that monster.”
Carolina reached over and grabbed Lizzie’s hand. “Did you really worry about me?”
“Oh, Carolina. When I arrived in Texas, our mother was a mess,” Lizzie explained. “She’d become an alcoholic and couldn’t hold down a job for more than a week. I didn’t know what had happened to her.
“Four months later we were evicted from her cockroach infested efficiency. With nowhere to live and no money to sustain us, much less send for you, I took her to a shelter. We lived there for months. They put her in rehab and she was in and out of that like a revolving door for two years. The good thing is that they paid for me to go to cosmetology school.
“Once I started to earn some money, I was finally able to get us an apartment, well one room, a kitchenette and bath. I even had to rent some cheap furniture, because I could barely afford to pay the rent and utilities and buy food too, so we didn’t have a telephone. With some help from the gals I worked with, I learned how to get mom on welfare and that helped. Eventually I was able to afford some group therapy sessions for her at the shelter.”
Carolina sat there like a statue, taking in all Lizzie told her about the situation she found herself in when she got to Dallas. Her eyes welled up with tears as she realized how much her sister had suffered and she was proud that she had survived, too.
“Mother was never a very strong person. You know that. If she had been, she never would’ve abandoned us, like she did. She had no skills, never really worked outside the home much, and didn’t have any place to go when she lit out from the rust bucket that day when Carl left for the copper mine, and for sure he didn’t have much money.
“She couldn’t take care of herself, let alone the two of us. I think the only reason she scraped enough money together to send for me when she did was because I was old enough to work. Frankly, I don’t know which was worse for her—being with Carl or being without him, strange as that sounds.”
“You’re a survivor, like me, Lizzie.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re right. My hands were full taking care of mother, dragging her out of nightclubs or wondering where she was when I couldn’t find her; afraid I’d find her dead in some alley. Sometimes she would be gone for days before I either located her or the cops found me to come pick her up after she spent a night or two in jail sleeping off a drunk. I was alone and scared and worried that she’d cause me to lose my job.”
“At least you didn’t have the physical abuse to deal with—even what you went through would have been preferable to that.”
Lizzie nodded. “I was scared for you, but I had to take care of mother. For a long time I didn’t have the means to send for you or a place for you to stay, other than the shelter. I was also apprehensive about writing because I couldn’t trust mother not to attempt to contact Carl. By the time she began to remain on the mend, attend AA regularly, and was able to hold down a job, we sent for you, but we were too late. You were gone. Mrs. Dugan had written in answer to our letters and we learned that you had escaped.”
Lizzie reached over and touched Carolina’s hand. “Even though we took some comfort in the fact that you had gotten away, we always worried about what had happened to you. You seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth. Much later, when I learned how to use a computer, I searched for you on the Internet. But I couldn’t find you. Now I know why. You had a different name.
“Carolina, honey, not a birthday or Christmas or New Year’s went by that I didn’t think of you and pray that one day you’d find us. Now you have. I hope you can forgive me for leaving you.”
Carolina removed her hand from Stede’s and took Lizzie’s hand in both of hers. “I do forgive you, Lizzie. I wasn’t your responsibility. Your words eradicate many years of feelings of abandonment and hurt. I’m sorry your life was such a struggle, being homeless and poor and having to deal with a dysfunctional parent also.”
“Mother is fine now, otherwise I would never have allowed her to live with us and take care of my children.” Lizzie stood up and said, “Let me tell the girls at the shop that I have to leave for the day, and if you follow me in your car, I’ll take you to my place and you can see her. Then you can meet my husband and see my children when they get home from camp. Would you like to do that?”
Stede nodded and as soon as Lizzie headed back toward the beauty salon, he stood and took Carolina’s hands helping her to stand, then pulled her to him. He ran his hands up and down her back, comforting her.
“Everything will be all right. They love you, Carolina.”
****
They followed Lizzie to her home and Stede drove with one hand, holding onto Carolina’s the entire time. “What are you thinking?”
“How unbelievable this reunion is; after all the years of hurt and feelings of rejection, the truth is that my sister, my best friend, hadn’t deserted me, at least not in spirit. How much pain and stress over being separated from one another we endured because of our parents.”
“Are you going to tell them about your life with Carl?”
She shook her head. “No. Why should I add more sorrow and guilt to Lizzie’s life? I’ll tell them about the accomplishments I made after I ran away.”
“That sounds like a healthy attitude. What about your mother? How do you feel about what Lizzie told you about her?”
“I guess I won’t know how I feel until I see her face to face. When she left us, even though I was a young girl, I understood why and I always thought she was a strong person. Turns out, and I don’t know how, but Lizzie and I were the ones who were strong.”
Chapter Seventeen
Large trees shaded the narrow entrance into Lizzie’s neighborhood, with a bridge that crossed over a pond. The development appeared small and private with houses and pastures scattered throughout. Most of the land was barren, the grass was brown from the summer sun and drought, and a hilly terrain surrounded the area.
Lizzie pulled into the driveway of a house set back from the street, waved her hand out the window and pointed for Stede to park out front. There were single level steps leading up to the house on top of a small hill. On one side of the house a rail fence corralled two horses, one white and one reddish brown.
Carolina and Stede stepped out of the truck and waited for Lizzie to drive her car into the garage. She hurried down the driveway and took Carolina’s hand, put her arm through Stede’s, and led them up to the house.
“You have a lovely home and property, Lizzie. I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’ve done well.”
“Thank you, sis. We only own two acres, but that’s enough to allow the kids to each have a horse. They love to ride and there’s a horse trail through a park on the other side of the trees behind our home.”
She paused on the steps and continued, “I’m the manager of the hair salon now and my husband and I have been saving our money. Another ten thousand dollars and I’ll be able to buy a partnership in the franchise and that shop will be mine.”
“That’s fantastic, Lizzie,” Carolina said smiling, then she grabbed her sister’s hand and held on tight. “I don’t know how I feel about mother after what she has put you through. All I do know is that I went to Arizona to forgive Carl and certainly I can do the same for her. You and I, Lizzie, will always have the past and what we suffered and endured. No one else will share those secrets but us. And I’m grateful Stede talked me into coming to Dallas.”
“Well, I can’t wait to hear how you met this handsome cowboy. My husband’s a looker, too,” she laughed.
The three of them held hands the rest of the way up to the front door, and Carolina shook her head and grinned. “We must look like Dorothy and her two cohorts, the lion and the tin man.” She laughed, but her heart pumped rapidly.
Lizzie unlocked and opened the door at the same time, yelling, “Mom, I’m home early. I brought some company with me,” she added, as her mother appeared from t
he kitchen.
“I was fixing some lunch; want to…” Her mother stopped in midsentence, placing her hand over her heart. “Mary? Oh dear child, where have you been?” she asked, rushing to embrace her.
Lizzie ushered Stede inside and closed the door.
Carolina put her arms around her mother’s thin frame and cried, mostly happy tears, although her mother looked much older than her years, which surprised her. Probably from the alcohol, she thought.
“Mom, Mary goes by the name of Carolina now. This is her friend, Stede. Gosh, I don’t even know your last names. Come on out in the kitchen and I’ll fix us some lunch and we can talk.”
The dramatic events of the day, overwhelmed Carolina but she looked at Stede and mouthed a thank you for bringing her to Dallas. She introduced her mother Adele, to Stede and told her he was Mrs. Dugan’s grandson. Her mother sat down at the table, picked up her napkin and wiped her tears.
They spent several hours having lunch and attempting to catch up for the years they missed being together. Stede told them about his grandmother and repeated the story about Carl to Adele, who simply nodded and made the Sign of the Cross, wishing him a peaceful death and hoped God would forgive him.
Lizzie and Adele kept repeating over and over again how happy they were to have Carolina in their lives and how proud they were of all her accomplishments.
Carolina learned about Lizzie’s children who were now ten and eight years old, and how well they did in school. She showed her pictures of them and shared some family photos as well.
Lizzie’s husband, Royal, was a lieutenant in the fire department. His shift ended at three and he’d pick up the children from camp on his way home. She looked forward to meeting them, yet couldn’t believe all of a sudden, she had a family of her own. Thoughts that her sister had things she had longed for made her heart ache. No one knew how desperate she was to have children and she had to fight to dispel the pangs of jealousy she felt.
“Why don’t I run to the store and get some fixins’ for dinner,” Lizzie said. “I hope you’ll stay.”
Stede said, “How about if Carolina and I treat all of you to dinner and we can go out and celebrate instead of wasting time cooking and doing dishes.”
“Carolina?” her mother asked, begging.
“Absolutely. I want to spend time with you and Lizzie’s husband and children.”
****
After all the excitement and commotion at Lizzie’s when her husband and children arrived, Carolina experienced a sense of happiness she had never known. All the years of stress and pain and angst and depression seemed to vanish upon acquiring a family.
Her namesake, Mary, Lizzie’s daughter, never left her side, having become enthralled over her beautiful Aunt Carolina. Rusty rolled his eyes at his younger sister, but he sat very close to Carolina on the sofa.
Stede and Royal spent some time together out on the patio, having a beer and getting acquainted. Every time Stede looked in on Carolina, his smile simply broadened. “I haven’t known Carolina very long, but I’ve never seen her this radiant,” he told Royal.
“My Lizzie looks the same. What an unfortunate childhood those girls lived. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your bringing Carolina here. It’s been like those stories you read about twins having been separated at birth.”
“Where did you and Lizzie meet?”
“I walked into Garbo’s one afternoon on my lunch break when the salon first opened. The firehouse where I’m stationed is right around the corner and I wanted to acquaint myself with the owner and check on the fire alarm inside the shop.” Royal tilted his head and smiled. “The minute I walked in and saw her, well, it was love at first sight. She’s beautiful, bright and happy most of the time, which I find amazing after what she’s been through.”
“Carolina seems to be holding back a little from her mother. After what she learned today concerning what she had put Lizzie through, I’m not sure she knows how she feels.”
“Adele is a fine person, actually. She’s a big help to us and she suffered as much as her daughters. I think a lot of her drinking had to do with guilt and shame. But I can tell you this, Stede, I hope I never see Carl Fox because I don’t think I could control myself. I’d like to lay him flat.”
“That’s how Carolina felt. However if you saw him today, you’d be able to refrain from being violent. He’s nothing more than a shell of a man. I guess he’s about sixty years old, but he looks to be at least eighty. As a matter of fact, my grandmother looks younger than he does. Don’t fret about him; like I told Carolina, he’s not worth a penny of your thoughts.”
“Well, are we ready to go out to dinner? I’m starving and heck I heard you were buying. Let’s get going,” Royal said, patting Stede on the back, “although that’s not necessary for you to treat all of us.”
“Maybe, but I know Carolina wants to do this.”
The seven of them went to a Red Lobster for dinner and were seated in a large booth. Carolina was wedged in between her niece and nephew and Lizzie sat beside them. They helped the kids color their placemats and played Tic Tac Toe, ordered Shirley Temple drinks, asked for an extra basket of cheddar baked biscuits and laughed at every silly thing.
Adele sat across from them between Stede and Royal. The men talked about sports and especially rodeo. Adele smiled as she watched her daughters getting reacquainted and mentioned that this was the happiest day of her life, having her children together again. She knew a lot about sports from watching too much television and she and Royal said they’d like to see Stede compete in the saddle bronc competition some day.
“Next time I’m nearby in some town here in Texas, I’ll send you all tickets.”
“Oh wow!” Rusty shouted. “Wait ’til I tell my friends I’m gonna go to the rodeo.”
“We have a deal then?” Stede asked, giving Rusty a high five.
Carolina asked Lizzie if she’d join her in the ladies room and the two of them said they’d hurry back because the waitress announced dinner was almost ready.
Inside the ladies room, Carolina opened her purse and took out her checkbook.
“What are you doing?” Lizzie asked, puzzled.
“Know all those years it’s been since we’ve been together? Well, here’s fifteen years of birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, any day gifts from your sister,” she finished, handing her a check.
Lizzie’s eyes grew wide and she choked out a sigh, holding one hand to her chest. “Carolina? This is for ten thousand dollars. I can’t take this money.”
“Yes you can. This is my gift to you. You don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to, but this is for you to buy a partnership in the beauty salon. And, since it’s a gift, you don’t have to pay any taxes on this money.”
“I don’t know what to say. I feel guilty taking this from you.”
“Don’t,” Carolina said. “You’ve carried enough guilt around. You deserve this, and besides, I have saved money all my life, ever since I struggled to earn enough to leave Sage Canyon. The only thing though, you can’t cash this until I transfer the money into my checking account. Notice, it’s dated next week.”
Lizzie hugged her and they kissed, renewing their love for one another. “You sacrificed so much for me to be free, Mary Carolina. I love you.”
Teary-eyed and smiling, Carolina said, “Love you too, now put that in your pocket and don’t lose it.”
****
Stede didn’t know what had transpired in the ladies’ room, but when Lizzie and Carolina returned, they sat next to each other, held hands and smiled and tried to eat dinner with one hand at the same time. They were both beautiful girls, and both had their mother’s turned up nose and full lips, but Lizzie’s hair was as dark as Carolina’s was blonde, and neither Adele nor Carl had green eyes like Carolina, which all of a sudden caused him to wonder.
While Stede was busy adding the tip to pay the bill, Carolina asked her mother, “When I went to
the nursing home to see Carl he made some horrible remark about my not being any kin of his. What do you think he meant?”
Stede doubted Carolina could hear, but sitting next to Adele, he heard her sharp intake of breath. He looked at her and thought she had paled. She fidgeted with her hands and finally said, “Don’t take no heed to what he says, Mary. He never was kind to you.”
They returned to Lizzie and Royal’s home to say their goodbyes and Stede knew Carolina’s heart ached to have to separate from her sister again. She promised them she’d come and visit and spend time at their house and her sister and Royal promised to bring the kids to Washington to visit her and go sightseeing.
Adele asked Carolina to wait a minute, before leaving, and went upstairs to her bedroom. When she came back down, she handed an envelope to her and said, “Promise me you won’t open this until you’re away from here. If you want to ask me any questions, or talk about what’s in there, you can call me later.”
Carolina looked puzzled, but nodded, and Stede led Carolina down the steps and into the truck after the last hug goodbye. He tooted the horn and they waved as he pulled in the driveway to make a U-turn.
Chapter Eighteen
“Would you like to stop now for a snack and something to drink in order to collect your thoughts before we arrive back at my parents’?”
“That sounds like a good idea, if you won’t be too tired to drive later.”
“I can usually drive all night without getting sleepy,” he said,
pulling into a restaurant. “This doesn’t look too crowded at this hour.” Stede helped her out of the truck and gathered her in his arms. “I haven’t held you for most of the day.”
Carolina slipped her arms around him and welcomed his embrace. She looked up at him and said, “Thank you for rescuing me in Sage Canyon and for always being there ever since. You’re my Prince Charming.”
Stede removed his Stetson, raised her up bodily until their lips were level and he opened her mouth with his lips and kissed her until he felt her melt in response.
Proud Mary Page 16